Class of January 2019 part 5
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 424
Checking in, still sober but mentally exhausted
Dad was in hospital a month ago, out now but needs more supervision and I have been calling every day and visiting once a week
Step Dad just admitted to hospital on Sunday night for respiratory failure. Heavy pack a day smoker for over 40+ years. In ICU, sedated, intubated and they are trying to wean him to breathing on his own. So far 1 hours tops and then back on ventilator and sedated. Hard to see and have been there as much as posssible to support Mom.
And I still have to take care of dinner, kids, husband, work, finances, etc.
I want to escape. I’ve craved a drink. I craved to be drunk to get away from all of this. By the grace of God I have not picked up a drink up.
Dad was in hospital a month ago, out now but needs more supervision and I have been calling every day and visiting once a week
Step Dad just admitted to hospital on Sunday night for respiratory failure. Heavy pack a day smoker for over 40+ years. In ICU, sedated, intubated and they are trying to wean him to breathing on his own. So far 1 hours tops and then back on ventilator and sedated. Hard to see and have been there as much as posssible to support Mom.
And I still have to take care of dinner, kids, husband, work, finances, etc.
I want to escape. I’ve craved a drink. I craved to be drunk to get away from all of this. By the grace of God I have not picked up a drink up.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 984
I've been away from SR for a week but just caught up on everyone. I'm glad to read about the success and the struggles. Whatever is happening, I hope everyone feels comfortable still posting and sharing. Guilt is a terrible feeling. Also, we have all gotten to know each other's stories so it would be a shame to lose touch.
I'm thankfully and happily still sober(78 days). One of the reasons I did not post is because I experienced some sobriety firsts:
1) I traveled from one coast of the States to the other. It was my first time flying without drinking. I made a lot of plans ahead of time (what they call "playing the tape forward") to prevent my taking a drink. Before quitting, I would drink the whole way and chug even after I landed.
2) I dealt with a difficult eldercare situation that has been ongoing without picking up. My elderly and ill mother said "she was proud of me." Although it is both emotionally and physically very draining to be confronting the illness of people you love (like parents), I could be present and sober. They definitely noticed a difference in my attitude and energy. I could enjoy their company so much more.
3) I went out one night to a bar with a lifelong party friend and was not tempted to drink at all. She and I were "wake and bakers," as they say. We drank and smoked weed since we were young to our middle age. I told her that I got sober after I lost my job in December. She was intrigued and wanted to hear the whole story. We still had a great time and caught up on each other's lives. I always thought our bond was drinking and smoking but it's not if there is a true friendship.
This trip is one that I needed to make emotionally because I can't cut myself off from the world or isolate in sobriety. I feel happier than ever about being present for those that I love.
SORRY for the long post. It feels good to check-in with the Januarians of 2019 again and reading about your lives. We can make this happen for "Mindful March."
I'm thankfully and happily still sober(78 days). One of the reasons I did not post is because I experienced some sobriety firsts:
1) I traveled from one coast of the States to the other. It was my first time flying without drinking. I made a lot of plans ahead of time (what they call "playing the tape forward") to prevent my taking a drink. Before quitting, I would drink the whole way and chug even after I landed.
2) I dealt with a difficult eldercare situation that has been ongoing without picking up. My elderly and ill mother said "she was proud of me." Although it is both emotionally and physically very draining to be confronting the illness of people you love (like parents), I could be present and sober. They definitely noticed a difference in my attitude and energy. I could enjoy their company so much more.
3) I went out one night to a bar with a lifelong party friend and was not tempted to drink at all. She and I were "wake and bakers," as they say. We drank and smoked weed since we were young to our middle age. I told her that I got sober after I lost my job in December. She was intrigued and wanted to hear the whole story. We still had a great time and caught up on each other's lives. I always thought our bond was drinking and smoking but it's not if there is a true friendship.
This trip is one that I needed to make emotionally because I can't cut myself off from the world or isolate in sobriety. I feel happier than ever about being present for those that I love.
SORRY for the long post. It feels good to check-in with the Januarians of 2019 again and reading about your lives. We can make this happen for "Mindful March."
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 508
Nice hear most of you are doing well, with a few struggling.
Glad to hear Bonnie that doctor cleared you for biking.
I am feeling much better today. I have the day off again today, have the rental furniture being taken away and the living room furniture being delivered. And tomorrow bedroom mattresses will be delivered and the living room furniture assembled.
Over all doing well. Tonight and tomorrow will be preparing for an overnight tournament trip for my older one.
Glad to hear Bonnie that doctor cleared you for biking.
I am feeling much better today. I have the day off again today, have the rental furniture being taken away and the living room furniture being delivered. And tomorrow bedroom mattresses will be delivered and the living room furniture assembled.
Over all doing well. Tonight and tomorrow will be preparing for an overnight tournament trip for my older one.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 1,055
Hi Listae! Thank you for your post...how encouraging. You sound so good. Well done.
Day 80 here in the rainy Midwest USA. Feeling pretty good and ready to face the day.
H, It sounds like you’re making your place a lovely home for you and your boys. Enjoy the new furniture.
Hello to everyone else and I hope you have a nice day.
Day 80 here in the rainy Midwest USA. Feeling pretty good and ready to face the day.
H, It sounds like you’re making your place a lovely home for you and your boys. Enjoy the new furniture.
Hello to everyone else and I hope you have a nice day.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 310
Hello everyone 
Hope you are having a happy and productive day.
I am struggling a bit with all the Brexit talk in the news. I'm signing petitions, talking to my friends and family, but trying not to let my anxiety over it consume me. I found it hard to sleep last night worrying, but I can't sacrifice my mental health over something I ultimately can do nothing about.
Suzieq - You are amazing. You have so much on your plate and you are coping without alcohol. We are here for you x
Listae - It is great to have you back. It sounds like you are absolutely bossing this recovery thing! You are fantastic
Quitnow - Congratulations on 80 days. Today is day 80 for me too. We got this!
RAL - Hope you had fun with your visitors and your poor skin has calmed down. Love to you x
Hope you are having a happy and productive day. I am struggling a bit with all the Brexit talk in the news. I'm signing petitions, talking to my friends and family, but trying not to let my anxiety over it consume me. I found it hard to sleep last night worrying, but I can't sacrifice my mental health over something I ultimately can do nothing about.
Suzieq - You are amazing. You have so much on your plate and you are coping without alcohol. We are here for you x
Listae - It is great to have you back. It sounds like you are absolutely bossing this recovery thing! You are fantastic
Quitnow - Congratulations on 80 days. Today is day 80 for me too. We got this!
RAL - Hope you had fun with your visitors and your poor skin has calmed down. Love to you x
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,525
Hey all,
Tough afternoon for me today, I actually found myself craving a drink for the first time in ages though I wasn't about to give in. I went to meet with a divorce lawyer as I'm working on legally finalizing my divorce. We've been separated since Sept. 2017 and I was the one who wanted the divorce -- and I'm seeing someone else as you guys know. But still there was something sad and very final about actually visiting the lawyer. I didn't expect to have that reaction. I think part of it was also that it was raining, I'd forgotten my umbrella, was in midtown on my own, my boyfriend left this morning for a bachelor party and I won't see him until Monday... none of that would be disastrous on its own of course, but those things all made going to see the lawyer a little more stressful. The good news is she was great and I do think things will be resolved quickly, but it was a little bit of a sad/lonely/stressful afternoon.
Anyway, I came home and ordered a pizza and a chocolate chip cookie, trying not to feel bad about that, I really needed the comfort food. I'm watching The Great British Baking Show on Netflix -- something about watching that show just makes me feel like nothing could be bad in the world, lol. It's still raining but I'm inside now so it feels cozy.
Sorry for the looong post, but that was my day. I'm feeling better now and am going to probably curl up in bed with a book soon.
Hope everyone has a nice night
Tough afternoon for me today, I actually found myself craving a drink for the first time in ages though I wasn't about to give in. I went to meet with a divorce lawyer as I'm working on legally finalizing my divorce. We've been separated since Sept. 2017 and I was the one who wanted the divorce -- and I'm seeing someone else as you guys know. But still there was something sad and very final about actually visiting the lawyer. I didn't expect to have that reaction. I think part of it was also that it was raining, I'd forgotten my umbrella, was in midtown on my own, my boyfriend left this morning for a bachelor party and I won't see him until Monday... none of that would be disastrous on its own of course, but those things all made going to see the lawyer a little more stressful. The good news is she was great and I do think things will be resolved quickly, but it was a little bit of a sad/lonely/stressful afternoon.
Anyway, I came home and ordered a pizza and a chocolate chip cookie, trying not to feel bad about that, I really needed the comfort food. I'm watching The Great British Baking Show on Netflix -- something about watching that show just makes me feel like nothing could be bad in the world, lol. It's still raining but I'm inside now so it feels cozy.
Sorry for the looong post, but that was my day. I'm feeling better now and am going to probably curl up in bed with a book soon.
Hope everyone has a nice night
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 310
SBTS - I can completely understand why you were searching for comfort in that situation. I kind of feel that a crisis can be coped with, but little every day stresses mount up and become overwhelming. You handled that feeling without alcohol - that is amazing!
Also, it should be illegal to watch The Great British Bake Off without delicious food! Give yourself a break - you are doing great.
Also, it should be illegal to watch The Great British Bake Off without delicious food! Give yourself a break - you are doing great.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 508
I am feeling 95% better today. Have a busy day ahead. Working from home. Need to do some clean up because of the new furniture and get the house ready for the boys. I generally get the apartment ready over the weekend but because I am traveling with the older one to a tournament, I may not have enough time when I return on Sunday, especially if he gets to later rounds.
Last week's mistake made me rethink and revaluate what went wrong and why. I think I now know the reasons. Will share when I have time to write it all down, over the weekend.
I need to have a good conversation with my older one. His teacher called that he is not behaving well. He is helping kids who don't know their math and is crossing the boundaries with who is the teacher in the class.
I am very excited about the trip. It is his first overnight tournament. I am packing for him. But it will be his first lesson to manage the trip from the moment we get in the car. This is also the toughest tournament he has played so far. I want him to learn to focus on just himself and the now. And I am hoping it will make him get better with his stuff at school.
Stay strong everyone. We are all having tough times and the evil AV is creeping in many ways. Let's fight it out.
Last week's mistake made me rethink and revaluate what went wrong and why. I think I now know the reasons. Will share when I have time to write it all down, over the weekend.
I need to have a good conversation with my older one. His teacher called that he is not behaving well. He is helping kids who don't know their math and is crossing the boundaries with who is the teacher in the class.
I am very excited about the trip. It is his first overnight tournament. I am packing for him. But it will be his first lesson to manage the trip from the moment we get in the car. This is also the toughest tournament he has played so far. I want him to learn to focus on just himself and the now. And I am hoping it will make him get better with his stuff at school.
Stay strong everyone. We are all having tough times and the evil AV is creeping in many ways. Let's fight it out.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 211
*groan*
Have had one of the most stressful 24-hour periods in a long time (financial stuff). I barely slept last night. Just did one of those weighing option marathons while staring at the ceiling in bed. Days and nights like these SUCK, but it could always be much worse I keep telling myself. And I'm sober. It's weird but I kept telling myself that too. Over and over. A drinking me would be a complete anxious mess right now. Sobriety has my back and is keeping me calm(er).
Just wanted to say hi to all of you! Hope you're doing ok
✌💚💪
-Z
Have had one of the most stressful 24-hour periods in a long time (financial stuff). I barely slept last night. Just did one of those weighing option marathons while staring at the ceiling in bed. Days and nights like these SUCK, but it could always be much worse I keep telling myself. And I'm sober. It's weird but I kept telling myself that too. Over and over. A drinking me would be a complete anxious mess right now. Sobriety has my back and is keeping me calm(er).
Just wanted to say hi to all of you! Hope you're doing ok
✌💚💪
-Z
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 508
Thanks Dee.
My son and I had a very nice trip here. And we really enjoyed our dinner, had Poke (Hawaiian food) basically deconstructed sushi.
We had a good talk, about him at school, his tennis and the situation with us being separated. I think he is too young to get it all.
He is a very good kid and I think it's just a phase. Will continue our conversation. I really enjoyed so far talking to him about things we never talked in the past. About food, philosophy, old houses, barns and there is lot more to talk.
Have a great weekend.
My son and I had a very nice trip here. And we really enjoyed our dinner, had Poke (Hawaiian food) basically deconstructed sushi.
We had a good talk, about him at school, his tennis and the situation with us being separated. I think he is too young to get it all.
He is a very good kid and I think it's just a phase. Will continue our conversation. I really enjoyed so far talking to him about things we never talked in the past. About food, philosophy, old houses, barns and there is lot more to talk.
Have a great weekend.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 310
Hi Zig! That anxious feeling keeping you up at night is awful - well done for coping without drinking. I hope you find a way through it x
The Brexit drama continues. I can do nothing to influence what happens and that makes me quite uncomfortable. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it disappear. The whole country seems to be holding its breath.
RAL - Haven't heard from you for a few days so hope you are well.
Love to everyone. Have a great weekend x
The Brexit drama continues. I can do nothing to influence what happens and that makes me quite uncomfortable. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it disappear. The whole country seems to be holding its breath.
RAL - Haven't heard from you for a few days so hope you are well.
Love to everyone. Have a great weekend x
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Hi everyone, thanks for asking sophie.
I drank the other night so not checked in as didn't want to de-rail anyone. I can explain and go into detail but wont. No excuses. I wanted to drink so I did.
I love politics but Brexit has got to be just so frustrating. Regardless of the way I voted the will of the people was to leave and I think it's shocking that democracy is not being done . Procrastination and trying to reverse the vote and even hold another vote is just awful imo. Anyway don't get me started
Hope everyone else is doing ok.
I drank the other night so not checked in as didn't want to de-rail anyone. I can explain and go into detail but wont. No excuses. I wanted to drink so I did.
I love politics but Brexit has got to be just so frustrating. Regardless of the way I voted the will of the people was to leave and I think it's shocking that democracy is not being done . Procrastination and trying to reverse the vote and even hold another vote is just awful imo. Anyway don't get me started
Hope everyone else is doing ok.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,525
Oh no RAL 
I was afraid something like that might've happened when I noticed you weren't posting. Please don't be afraid of derailing anyone by checking in or talking about what happened if you want to.
Sophie thanks for your support Brexit sounds super stressful for all concerned.
H379 I'm glad you had a nice time with your son.
Zig it will all be ok! And definitely easier to deal with stress when sober.
Hey Bonnie where are you? Hope all is well.
I'm doing well, after my stressful Thursday I had a nice Friday. I left work early to go see Us with my friend, then I went into Manhattan to eat some delicious paella with another friend. Brunch with another friend this morning and I'm having Thai for dinner with a fourth friend tonight! I knew my boyfriend was going to be gone all weekend so I made loads of plans to occupy myself. Right now I'm journaling, trying to catch up on the week. I've really been neglecting my journal. I might head to a coffee shop in a bit to do that but for the moment I'm working on it from home.
Hope everyone has a nice weekend.
I was afraid something like that might've happened when I noticed you weren't posting. Please don't be afraid of derailing anyone by checking in or talking about what happened if you want to. Sophie thanks for your support
Brexit sounds super stressful for all concerned.H379 I'm glad you had a nice time with your son.
Zig it will all be ok! And definitely easier to deal with stress when sober.
Hey Bonnie where are you? Hope all is well.
I'm doing well, after my stressful Thursday I had a nice Friday. I left work early to go see Us with my friend, then I went into Manhattan to eat some delicious paella with another friend. Brunch with another friend this morning and I'm having Thai for dinner with a fourth friend tonight! I knew my boyfriend was going to be gone all weekend so I made loads of plans to occupy myself. Right now I'm journaling, trying to catch up on the week. I've really been neglecting my journal. I might head to a coffee shop in a bit to do that but for the moment I'm working on it from home.
Hope everyone has a nice weekend.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 211
Good to hear from you Ral Your posts have helped me a lot these last couple months. Wishing you well! And thanks to you sobers (Sea & Sophie) for the uplift I'll figure something out eventually.
I just got off work and was told to hit the showers by my wife. Last week our St. Patrick's Day get-together with my family was canceled due to flooding. Now it's been rescheduled to early evening. I'm gonna be packing my silver Yeti mug, filled with water AND I'm bringing my own lemon. Gonna be a wild night
Also plan on *coming out* as a sober person to my sisters. I'm actually really excited!
Peace, love, strength to all of you
-Z
Your posts have helped me a lot these last couple months. Wishing you well! And thanks to you sobers (Sea & Sophie) for the uplift I'll figure something out eventually.I just got off work and was told to hit the showers by my wife. Last week our St. Patrick's Day get-together with my family was canceled due to flooding. Now it's been rescheduled to early evening. I'm gonna be packing my silver Yeti mug, filled with water AND I'm bringing my own lemon. Gonna be a wild night
Also plan on *coming out* as a sober person to my sisters. I'm actually really excited!
Peace, love, strength to all of you
-Z
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 310
Sorry to hear, RAL. I'm glad you're here.
Please don't ever feel that you can't post about a struggle or a slip. This group sticks together and supports each other. We deserve to recover and we can do it.
Goodnight all, sleep well x
Please don't ever feel that you can't post about a struggle or a slip. This group sticks together and supports each other. We deserve to recover and we can do it.
Goodnight all, sleep well x
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