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Class of September 2018 Part 4 |
Woah, thanks final and bumboid (and Dee) for sharing. And hopeful and wildflower for being their considerate, supportive selves. Bringing up kids is such a blessing, it’s my reason for living if I’m honest and certainly a large part in my decision to quit the booze. But all the other stuff with it, it’s so hard. And when stuff like what happens with your daughter, bumboid, or your ongoing challenges posed by cerebral palsy, final, it’s made so much harder. You have my respect for approaching those challenges so well...not perfectly, I don’t imagine that for one minute. But lovingly and supportively which is all any parent can do. And soberly. God I’m starting to cry with the guilt of missed years of my drunkenness. I just don’t know what to say about that. I know I can’t ‘go there’ at the moment. Sober today, that’s all I can do for the time being Plan is in place and I think it’ll be a good day, I’m looking forward to it. And yes, golf would normally be triggering but I told my dad before Xmas I was giving up and so today the option is off the table - which is a lovely feeling. One day every day will be an ‘off the table’ day |
Oh yeah, and at long fecking last: SHOTGUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
When I said everyday will be an ‘off the table’ day I meant in my the way I feel. Of course it already everyday...but at the moment that involves a lot of work 👍 |
Good morning. Ahhhh, a great deep full sleep. It really does help to start a day off right. I feel pretty good today. Going to get my work done, have a meeting at the school with my sons transition team in the afternoon. Have fun golfing. My favorite thing to do in my free time. Can't play this time of year here. What's the temp for you Ben today? Golfing used to be a big time drinking event with my buddies. It went hand in hand. But, I enjoy getting better at golf so played a couple rounds sober and played much better. Even during my drinking days I would abstain during golf. Able to keep my focus and mechanics together for the hole round. I'm looking forward to the weekend. I can relax on the weekends because most of my customers are closed and I won't be needed. Going to start some clutter purging in my house. If you're in the area WF, your welcome to give me a hand. You seem to enjoy it. Lol Let's have a happy day. Take one happy thought this morning and let that be our guide today. Just for today. |
Haha....yes the de-cluttering becomes sort-of addictive. Now, every time I open a cupboard or closet I think, that would be so much better organized! And, purging out the old stuff has a ripple effect on me: Getting rid of the old stuff clears the space, less stuff in the space clears the mind, a quiet mind is a restful mind, a restful mind can relax. Relaxing promotes health and well-being. And, I feel better! Long day today, I hope you all find the strength you need to accomplish your goals. We are becoming the best versions of ourselves, and together we can move mountains! Sending hugs to all... :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: :grouphug: |
Yay Bumboid Congratulations on 3 weeks :lmao:nanarock:nanarock That is awesome, good for you. |
Hey, good for you Bumboid. 3weeks already. When I got started, it was hard to imagine getting that much time accumulated. Think that's why they talk about doing 1day at a time. In bed early. Hoping to get another good night sleep. Big finish to the week tomorrow and on to the weekend. Sober of course. |
I went swimming and in the sauna tonight. Feel really relaxed after being pissed off again earlier. Good job Final squashing through the work week # I make goals and I squash them # We are a bunch of goal squashers |
Morning all - quick check in and I’ll post fully in a bit. On bus on way to work 👍 |
Have a great day Bumboid, and a great rest later! |
Thats good about This Naked Mind. more good stuff to listen to |
Have a great day Ben |
Good morning and TGIF! My roommate leaves in the morning for 3 weeks...looking forward to having the place to myself. She's kind-of messy, so I'm going to organize her room this weekend...haha, shocking! Then she will be back for 3 more weeks and that will be it. Because of her age (25) it's been like having my kid live with me again. I'm going to miss her, but am ready to move on. I'm considering having a foreign exchange student the next time....anyone ever done that before? Host an exchange student? Have an awesome day!! |
Never had an exchange student or anyone else live with me for that matter. Not much on the schedule today so I rolled over for an extra hours sleep. Kind of glad the week is slow. Giving me a chance to get my mind back together without added stress. My son is home sick today too. So I won't leave him for too long. It's a cold (not -32'F cold, sorry Hopeful) sunny day. Looks very pleasant. I'll probably go for a hike when I'm done today. Still seems odd that I'm a completely different person now that I'm home. Like I haven't missed a beat. No urges or chance of relapse. Something I'm going to have to better prepare myself for in the future if I hope to vacation ever again. |
Pretty quiet day today. Dark and chilly. Watching movies and reading sobriety materials tonight. |
That's good Final. I remember you saying on the last trip, how triggering it was arriving at a hotel. And the drive there / travel. I'm 100 percent sure, in time you will find a solution so you enjoy them fully. |
I keep track of all my major triggers, and some of them, unfortunately, that's how I learned them. Its nice how much we learn about ourselves getting sober. |
I had a lot of triggers too - and some of them I couldn't do anything about - everyone has stressful or uncomfortable things - but I could change the way I reacted to them and dealt with them. I think that's the key? D |
Made it through a Friday night no problem. Made dinner, worked out and watched a movie by the fire. Feeling a bit edgy though. Not sure why. My wife is drinking a bottle + a night again. Not sure if she thinks that because I drank on vacation that I'm going back to that life and now she can too. Think that's why she never tried to stop me. Maybe she wants me to pick it up again so we can get back to being the fun couple. No way for me. I am not amused by the behavior of the drinkers around me. Nor do I want to see myself fall back into that hole. That miserable, dark, desperate self destructive chasm of misery! Think I know where I stand on this. I'm going to look into starting a new project or hobby tomorrow. I've got plenty of things on my bucket list and I could use something to get me thru the rest of winter. I'll let you all know. Hope everyone has had a safe and sober Friday. |
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