wildflower70

Final, I'm not going to say anything except that I've read your post and I'm here for you.

wildflower70

I got the feeling you weren't really looking for comments, advice, or imput. Maybe I am wrong?

wildflower70

Hopeful, Bumboid...it's been a few days since you've posted. All OK with you guys?

I'm starting to feel like the last man (woman) standing

Dee74

FR that post was not worth not posting here and not worth drinking over

The default for most of us when we feel flat and rudderless is drinking...but all that does is make the aimlessness worse, in my opinion.

There must be better ways for you to deal with plateaus, lacunas, dog day afternoons and just plain old tough periods?

Hi WF

D

Hopeful528

Sorry Final, all I can say is I understand. Its never what I needed when I go back to it though. Did you find that? That you instantly saw it wasn't what you really needed.

Hopeful528

I think we keep getting out before the magic happens.
Early sobriety has its challenges.
But we can make it through that.
Its from the middle outward, after its been a while, we jump off course. We have to find a way to endure it to the other side of this.

Hopeful528

and sorry WF! I have been reading but not posting much this weekend.
I've been working on some steps in AA again and cleaning out my closet.

Finalround

Definitely.

The pros and cons list of drinking still hasn't changed. It sucks.

I need to get back here and get through a couple days. I really need my wife's and family's support. I need them to really understand how bad alcohol is to me. Maybe I haven't been completely clear about it. And maybe that was on purpose.

Dee74

Familial support is great...but some of us made it without that.
Support is why places like SR exist

I hope you do get the support you want and deserve, but it's not a dealbreaker if you don't FR.

No drinking, no matter what.

D

Finalround

Yeah I get it, Dee. But I think I still them to understand how bad alcohol is for me. In that moment of weakness, it would be nice to have someone stop me.

But, terrible night sleep. But I will not drink today.

wildflower70

Final, I think your family might not be the support system you are looking for, maybe because they all still drink? The only one who can "stop" you from drinking is you....You have the be willing to step away from people, places, and situations that trigger you to drink. At the end of the day, it is only you who looks back at the reflection in the mirror, make sure you like what you see.

Hopeful528

It would be a lot easier to have support that is in line with sobriety. I completely get this. We have to accept that we don't have it right now. I understand what you are saying in that, its good to really tell them how it is effecting you. But because they drink, they will most likely not be what we need. The further we get away from it the more we can see how sick they are themselves and how we aren't going to get what we need from them, at least not completely for a while. I hope that maybe they are supportive after you telling them.
How do you feel about AA? For now just one day at a time, get through today. But what about trying a speaker meeting. Go right when it starts, and leave right after. Don't have to talk to anyone really just listen.

Hopeful528

Do tell them.
But also go to AA.
Keep looking into all the other supports to help support you. Do they have addiction counselors that you can sign up for? I had to wait so long, and the only reason I got in was because I was going to school. The waiting list is really long here. But the groups they have, now that I have one, like the meditations, CBT, etc. and unlike regular counselors they specialize in addictions and underlying reasons why we drink. I found it so helpful.
Get your lemon water out and get ready to do this. You deserve it. Everything is going to work out.

Hopeful528

The February group has a lot of people in it we identify with,
People who have gotten through the early stages but have relapsed after long periods and are trying to finally find the solution.
Hang out in here. Go introduce yourself. And read the Alcoholism forums for now for posts more applicable to what we are experiencing. I like reading the daily reflections on the 12 step forum. There is a new one everyday.

Hopeful528

Think of how great you have done on your own, now think of with support how much you are going to fly and take off.

Hopeful528

You are going to find that feeling of euphoria, and relief and freedom, only its going to be not fake like drinking, its going to be real and great and its going to only get better and better

Finalround

Mid day check in. Having a productive day but certainly feeling tired. A good meal tonight and early to bed. I had been sleeping soooo good. Don't know why I would ruin even that? But, that is alcoholism for you.

Thanks for everyone's responses. I appreciate them greatly. I am looking into AA meetings in my area. Certainly need some f2f support.

Got a littLe more work to get done then home. Painting my younger sons room with him. He grew about a foot the past year so we are getting rid of his bunk beds and into an adult bedroom set.

Hopeful528

Thats great Final, redecorating his room how exciting and new.
Yes keep it up and keep posting.

Hopeful528

It makes me so excited to hear about decorating
You are such a great father.
Its so exciting to have a brand new room

Finalround

Day 1 In the books. Safely in bed. Feel pretty good. Tired for sure.

Been thinking about how to handle the staleness I get into. I have many goals right now but I think they too broad or just big goals. Too hard to see the needle moving. So I'm going to create some short term achievable goals so I can always feel like I'm making progress. Then take my larger goals and break them down into smaller parts. Give myself a sense of gratification along the way.

Even my not drinking goal. I started looking big picture of how I wanted my sobriety to be. I've got to remember that the most important goal is to just not drink today. All the rest will fall into place if I just achieve that each and every day.

I did that today. hooray me!