Class of January 2019 part 3
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Good morning.thanks you for your kind thoughts overnight. I'm on my phone so can't thank .
>red I hope you have a great weekend at your yoga retreat. That sounds a good place to be
sober by the sea the sounds like a fabulous trip. Listae speaks wisely. My sister in law travelled there and was hospitalised with altitude sickness.
Tony it's great you're planning ahead. Sure you'll feel even stronger by may and be comfortable doing the trip sober. You did the cruise successfully in october .
.I love the concept of the EV -the exercise voice 😃slept on and off. Not helped by my not having my nightly Meds mild anti d and magnesium. I left so suddenly I have nothing with me not even a change of clothes.<br /><br />have a good day everyone and congrats to you all on your sober time.
>red I hope you have a great weekend at your yoga retreat. That sounds a good place to be
sober by the sea the sounds like a fabulous trip. Listae speaks wisely. My sister in law travelled there and was hospitalised with altitude sickness.
Tony it's great you're planning ahead. Sure you'll feel even stronger by may and be comfortable doing the trip sober. You did the cruise successfully in october .
.I love the concept of the EV -the exercise voice 😃slept on and off. Not helped by my not having my nightly Meds mild anti d and magnesium. I left so suddenly I have nothing with me not even a change of clothes.<br /><br />have a good day everyone and congrats to you all on your sober time.
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 1,543
Day 25
RAL - Still in my thoughts
Red - Enjoy your retreat. Pamper yourself.
SoberByTheSea - Good decision on the Inca Trail. Let’s be honest? Your BF wants a great trip doing the hike with his friends - he doesn’t want to have to remember the trip with you worried and not enjoying that part. I would also ‘sell’ it to him that you don’t want to spoil that bit of his trip of a lifetime as well as anything else? Enjoy the rest of Peru though.
Listae - yeah I’ve really not thought about my May trip much more again. If I get to it at over 125 days sober there is no way under ANY circumstances that I would give up that amount of sober time for a three night get away anyway. So ‘hey ho’ - that situation will solve itself one way or another.
As for me? Well I’m kind of nervous because I just feel so great at the moment. My weight has stabilised at a 11 pound loss. My mind is clear. My sleep is awesome. My desire to drink is zero. My focus at work is laser sharp. My wife is elated that her husband is ‘back’. My fitness work is solid. My finances are embarrassingly stable. All in 25 days...
I’m scared and nervous because I never want to go back to drinking again but I know how powerfully the urge or thought that wine would be a “good idea” can come surging out of nowhere. So I’m on my guard to protect this sober life with a viciousness at the moment like I have never felt before.
I would pray (if I was a religious man) that I was cured (if there was a cure) that I never, ever feel any different to the way I feel right now, ever again.
Love and Support,
JT
RAL - Still in my thoughts
Red - Enjoy your retreat. Pamper yourself.
SoberByTheSea - Good decision on the Inca Trail. Let’s be honest? Your BF wants a great trip doing the hike with his friends - he doesn’t want to have to remember the trip with you worried and not enjoying that part. I would also ‘sell’ it to him that you don’t want to spoil that bit of his trip of a lifetime as well as anything else? Enjoy the rest of Peru though.
Listae - yeah I’ve really not thought about my May trip much more again. If I get to it at over 125 days sober there is no way under ANY circumstances that I would give up that amount of sober time for a three night get away anyway. So ‘hey ho’ - that situation will solve itself one way or another.
As for me? Well I’m kind of nervous because I just feel so great at the moment. My weight has stabilised at a 11 pound loss. My mind is clear. My sleep is awesome. My desire to drink is zero. My focus at work is laser sharp. My wife is elated that her husband is ‘back’. My fitness work is solid. My finances are embarrassingly stable. All in 25 days...
I’m scared and nervous because I never want to go back to drinking again but I know how powerfully the urge or thought that wine would be a “good idea” can come surging out of nowhere. So I’m on my guard to protect this sober life with a viciousness at the moment like I have never felt before.
I would pray (if I was a religious man) that I was cured (if there was a cure) that I never, ever feel any different to the way I feel right now, ever again.
Love and Support,
JT
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
I can't sleep feel so guilty. Death realky is the end isn't it you can't say anything after that to the person who has passed on.
my sister had many mental health issues and also had cancer although was in remission. She didn't have a particular healthy lifestyle. She never drank but ate badly little exercise and developed type 2 diabetes some years back. Despite this she still ate really badly and we were always nagging her to improve her food choices but to no avail.
due to her mental health issues she often thought there was something wrong with her. We did not take her seriously. This time I did not take her seriously. I said some unkind things not to her but others. I did not speak to her on the phone as often h as I should have done as I did not want to listen to her taking about illness as thought she was just attention seeking. Obviously it's much more complex than this but that's an overview.
I spoke with her last week and had a good long chat which was nice but nothing since. I did not even go and visit her in hospital as thought she would be released the next day. And now she is dead. It is too late. I feel weighed down with guilt for being such an unkind person. A Nasty person .
my sister had many mental health issues and also had cancer although was in remission. She didn't have a particular healthy lifestyle. She never drank but ate badly little exercise and developed type 2 diabetes some years back. Despite this she still ate really badly and we were always nagging her to improve her food choices but to no avail.
due to her mental health issues she often thought there was something wrong with her. We did not take her seriously. This time I did not take her seriously. I said some unkind things not to her but others. I did not speak to her on the phone as often h as I should have done as I did not want to listen to her taking about illness as thought she was just attention seeking. Obviously it's much more complex than this but that's an overview.
I spoke with her last week and had a good long chat which was nice but nothing since. I did not even go and visit her in hospital as thought she would be released the next day. And now she is dead. It is too late. I feel weighed down with guilt for being such an unkind person. A Nasty person .
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 1,543
Originally Posted by ReadyAtLast 
I can't sleep feel so guilty. Death realky is the end isn't it you can't say anything after that to the person who has passed on.
my sister had many mental health issues and also had cancer although was in remission. She didn't have a particular healthy lifestyle. She never drank but ate badly little exercise and developed type 2 diabetes some years back. Despite this she still ate really badly and we were always nagging her to improve her food choices but to no avail.
due to her mental health issues she often thought there was something wrong with her. We did not take her seriously. This time I did not take her seriously. I said some unkind things not to her but others. I did not speak to her on the phone as often h as I should have done as I did not want to listen to her taking about illness as thought she was just attention seeking. Obviously it's much more complex than this but that's an overview.
I spoke with her last week and had a good long chat which was nice but nothing since. I did not even go and visit her in hospital as thought she would be released the next day. And now she is dead. It is too late. I feel weighed down with guilt for being such an unkind person. A Nasty person .
my sister had many mental health issues and also had cancer although was in remission. She didn't have a particular healthy lifestyle. She never drank but ate badly little exercise and developed type 2 diabetes some years back. Despite this she still ate really badly and we were always nagging her to improve her food choices but to no avail.
due to her mental health issues she often thought there was something wrong with her. We did not take her seriously. This time I did not take her seriously. I said some unkind things not to her but others. I did not speak to her on the phone as often h as I should have done as I did not want to listen to her taking about illness as thought she was just attention seeking. Obviously it's much more complex than this but that's an overview.
I spoke with her last week and had a good long chat which was nice but nothing since. I did not even go and visit her in hospital as thought she would be released the next day. And now she is dead. It is too late. I feel weighed down with guilt for being such an unkind person. A Nasty person .
It’s hard RAL. I’ve had more than my fair share of this as you know. The regrets can be overwhelming if you let them in.
It’s called grief.
You’re not a bad person. You’re not a nasty person. And don’t even dare to drink in order to block those kind of self damaging thoughts in either.
Love and Support to YOU.
Tony
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Originally Posted by JustTony
Nothing I can say will convince you that your feelings about yourself are not true. When people pass away it is exceptionally rare that we ALL do not have some form of regrets for things not done nor said. None of us are perfect nor possess a crystal ball to see what will happen and when in the future. No doubt if it had been you that passed away your sister might have thought “why didn’t I ask her more about herself sometimes as opposed to always wanting to discuss my problems?” or some such misgivings of opportunities lost?
It’s hard RAL. I’ve had more than my fair share of this as you know. The regrets can be overwhelming if you let them in.
It’s called grief.
You’re not a bad person. You’re not a nasty person. And don’t even dare to drink in order to block those kind of self damaging thoughts in either.
Love and Support to YOU.
Tony
It’s hard RAL. I’ve had more than my fair share of this as you know. The regrets can be overwhelming if you let them in.
It’s called grief.
You’re not a bad person. You’re not a nasty person. And don’t even dare to drink in order to block those kind of self damaging thoughts in either.
Love and Support to YOU.
Tony
this is different so maybe you're right thst it's grief and these feelings are normal. It's always worse in the middle of the night too. Thank you for your support.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,431
As for me? Well I’m kind of nervous because I just feel so great at the moment. My weight has stabilised at a 11 pound loss. My mind is clear. My sleep is awesome. My desire to drink is zero. My focus at work is laser sharp. My wife is elated that her husband is ‘back’. My fitness work is solid. My finances are embarrassingly stable. All in 25 days...
I’m scared and nervous because I never want to go back to drinking again but I know how powerfully the urge or thought that wine would be a “good idea” can come surging out of nowhere. So I’m on my guard to protect this sober life with a viciousness at the moment like I have never felt before.
I’m scared and nervous because I never want to go back to drinking again but I know how powerfully the urge or thought that wine would be a “good idea” can come surging out of nowhere. So I’m on my guard to protect this sober life with a viciousness at the moment like I have never felt before.
I think it's another AV trick - maybe a little more sophisticated but a trick none the less.
If I can go from drinking all day every day to nothing for the last 12 years , anyone can do this sober thing.
Don't talk yourself out of it
D
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: SE USA
Posts: 46
Morning all. Start of day 6 here. I have been absolutely wiped out. The last two days, I have come home from work and ended up falling asleep on the couch for a couple of hours. I know exhaustion is common in early sobriety, but reallly? Just have to roll with it. Going to start back to gym today. Exercise always has helped me.
RAL, sorry to hear about your loss. Good you are here. In my case, drinking never made grieving better. Take care of yourself.
Good to see everyone’s progress and struggles. Knowing that having struggles in early sobriety is normal reminds me that I don’t have to be perfect....feeling like I always have to please others is one thing that always leads me back to the bottle. Focusing on being gentle and kind to myself now. If others in my life see that as selfish, so be it.
Good day to all. :-)
RAL, sorry to hear about your loss. Good you are here. In my case, drinking never made grieving better. Take care of yourself.
Good to see everyone’s progress and struggles. Knowing that having struggles in early sobriety is normal reminds me that I don’t have to be perfect....feeling like I always have to please others is one thing that always leads me back to the bottle. Focusing on being gentle and kind to myself now. If others in my life see that as selfish, so be it.
Good day to all. :-)
Last edited by Boracraze; 01-25-2019 at 03:39 AM. Reason: Typos
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 108
Sorry about your sister RAL. I feel for you so much and please try not to rack yourself with guilt-it wont produce anything good. I haven't posted due to being busy and running around. Staying sober, finally back to normal physical functioning levels (sleeping eating activity ect). The relapse caught me last week, after 2 years 11 months folks! Can you believe that?Worse I felt it coming, coming coming a couple months in advance and fought it off. It can happen and will happen that the AV tries to convince you-even after years. It fought and I lost that day. But im determined not to let it get the upper hand. I am scared for it to happen again and don't know how to be vigilant and squash it when it happens. Logically, I have asked myself what I didn't do last time and that was AA. I just did not want to do that kind of work and go to meetings ect thought I could just do it on my own. This time as Dee says "make a plan" and I guess AA is my plan right now.Found a super secret meeting in another town which I will just keep going to although I feel like a rock sitting there stoned face and acting like "ive got this under control" while inside Im like "please someone pick me, reach out to me, nominate yourself as my sponsor so I don't have to reach out" ugh I think only the lucky ones or the major criers get that type of attention. Its the silent ones that sometimes just get passed over. Im going to keep going, keep pursuing this group, build some trust and really be consistent. I don't know what my plan is from there-get a sponsor, work the steps I don't know. Ive got to get behind what leads me to drink and deeper issues I guess the things we all have buried inside. Will check in later. Rose
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 1,543
Completed my 175 mile round trip to hold a meeting with staff in the north of England and then straight to the gym for 30 sets on legs, adductors and abductors. I hate that bloody workout but it has to be done every 72 hours.
Roll on the weekend.
Roll on the weekend.
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 771
Oh RAL, I just saw this. I’m so, so sorry. Please be kind to yourself. You and your sister loved each other, that’s what matters. It’s normal for people to wish we had done this or that, but I believe that’s just our way of wishing for more time with our loved ones.
Take care of yourself, my friend. ❤️
Take care of yourself, my friend. ❤️
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 771
Day 19 for me. Some positive health-related things, keeping in mind that I’ve had mostly sober days since November:
— I’m down 7 pounds without really even trying to lose weight
— my blood pressure is normal. Only 6 months ago my doctor was threatening me with blood pressure medication
— my resting heart rate is down to 56 (idk if that’s from not drinking or all the walking I’ve been doing)
So my back pain is murder today, but im not tempted to drink. I actually thought about smoking some weed to see if it helps with pain relief, but it was a fleeting, silly thought. I hate weed, and sober people don’t self medicate. So I’m focusing on the positive things I’ve listed above, and I’m out walking very, very slowly in hopes that I’ll loosen things up and get some relief.
Im still having a hard time keeping up with everyone here, but I’ll get the hang of it. Congrats on everyone’s sober days. Tony, your posts about working out really motivate me! I can’t do weights right now, but I am very inspired to get into tip top shape.
Have a wonderful day, people!
— I’m down 7 pounds without really even trying to lose weight
— my blood pressure is normal. Only 6 months ago my doctor was threatening me with blood pressure medication
— my resting heart rate is down to 56 (idk if that’s from not drinking or all the walking I’ve been doing)
So my back pain is murder today, but im not tempted to drink. I actually thought about smoking some weed to see if it helps with pain relief, but it was a fleeting, silly thought. I hate weed, and sober people don’t self medicate. So I’m focusing on the positive things I’ve listed above, and I’m out walking very, very slowly in hopes that I’ll loosen things up and get some relief.
Im still having a hard time keeping up with everyone here, but I’ll get the hang of it. Congrats on everyone’s sober days. Tony, your posts about working out really motivate me! I can’t do weights right now, but I am very inspired to get into tip top shape.
Have a wonderful day, people!
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Greece
Posts: 943
I'm about to take my son to football practice . I'm going to spend the hour running power walking round the pitch in the rain ! Hate these 7pm practices . It's a half hour drive away and it dark and raining 
fire and pj weather !
fire and pj weather !
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Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: Surrey, UK
Posts: 222
I’m down 7 pounds without really even trying to lose weight
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