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Class of November 2018 Part 5 |
1st... Only thing I've won in a while.... |
Day Lucky 13 over here. Feeling good and mostly positive. I’m so happy I was able to shift my mindset back to sobriety mode about 13 days ago. Nothing has changed for me really — same stressors , same back issues. It all starts to feel more manageable when I haven’t taken a drink in a while though. Not much planned today, just hanging out with the family. Of course, I’ll be taking my long walk across the arctic wasteland that Houston has become due to this cold front. It’s so cold out there and high temps today will only get to the 50s — or like 12 degrees for you Celsius people. I’ll try not to die of frostbite and hypothermia, but no promises. Dafunbra — glad you are feeling encouraged about your legal issues. It sounds like things will work out. Keeping my fingers crossed over here! Obosob — good to see you back here. Kaily — chocolate is fuel for all those long walks! I picked up a Cadbury’s Dairy Milk yesterday and plan to have that after lunch today. I haven’t decided whether or not I’m going to share with the Bonnie Juniors. Although Bonnie Junior #3 can smell chocolate from afar and tends to zero in quickly when I try to keep it to myself. :lmao Anyway, have a great day, everyone! |
I had a drinking dream night before last. One of those where you awake with a realism and relief it was just a dream. I was in Vegas, walking through someplace and approached a bar. Next thing I know I've had some white wine (I never even drank wine). Although it's just one drink and I don't really feel anything, I have that relapse feeling of "oh well, you did it might as well keep going". So the dream skips and I'm off to another bar, walking through a huge hotel, but you know it's a dream and all weird so there are traffic lights in the hotel as I'm walking. Approach an open air bar (middle of the "street", in a hotel) and ask for a beer, then proceed to have a wave of reality hit me as I raise the glass and start drinking, then wake in a mild panic until I am relieved it wasn't true. It was a strange feeling waking with relief knowing I hadn't blown my sobriety. Made me realize I actually value this. In 2013 I "relapsed" in Vegas the first go around trying to get sober. I was only about 2 weeks in and bounced back immediately, proceeding to achieve the longest sober stint since before I really started drinking. I'm approaching that milestone in my current sobriety. I think it's weighing on me a little. |
Bonniefloyd- good job on 13 days. Jimmyj - that's a crazy drinking dream. I always feel relieved after I wake up from a drinking dream |
Thanks for the welcome back..... |
Originally Posted by Bonniefloyd
(Post 7103805)
Not much planned today, just hanging out with the family. Of course, I’ll be taking my long walk across the arctic wasteland that Houston has become due to this cold front. It’s so cold out there and high temps today will only get to the 50s — or like 12 degrees for you Celsius people. I’ll try not to die of frostbite and hypothermia, but no promises. The weather has been great on my SoCal/Arizona vacay... low-70s and sunny during the day. So weird to think my shoes were walking through six inches of snow about 36 hours ago. (The remainder of the poor family back in the Midwest has to suffer through snow and below zero Fahrenheit wind chills... makes me feel a bit guilty... but it is the bed they want to sleep in.) |
Jimmy Las Vegas is a good a place as any for a drinking dream! It all sounds very busy, strange how our minds work. As you say you relapsed there before so I guess your subconscious took you back and reminded you. Good that you woke remorseful with added credibility of how much you value your sobriety. I have been having strange dreams, people from my past keep popping up from nowhere in strange situations. I even dreamt I was on a first date with my partner who sadly died 7 years ago. All very strange. TJV Sunshine at last. Sounds great! Did you see the Super Blood Wolf Moon? Too cloudy here. |
I'm not an AA man... But on the same hand I'm too scared to take an honest inventory of my actions over the last 25 years... I've been reminded by my dear mother once again many things I'd completely forgotten...... My lord, the shame!!!!! From both parents being lawyers, private school, university........ Too busted up drunk at 44. Too many issues to list....... All my nerves are shot, my mind is exhausted, I"m now a fat bastard...... Something about the ego, all being about me, wrong thinking, etc... Really struggling now.... Thought I'd post! |
44 is not too late to start chapter two Obo. As for ego - maybe it was always your destiny to beat this, stay sober , and be the man you really are? food for thought? D |
And be the man you really are...... There it is hey...! |
Is there a way to share photos here? I took a cool photo of the super blood wolf moon last night through my neighbor’s telescope and I’d love to share with you guys. Anyway, it’s day 14 for me. Seeing the neurosurgeon today, and I’m nervous. Other than that, all is well. |
Good luck today, Bonnie. I think to post a pic you have to have it hosted somewhere online and then you can hyperlink it. |
Hope all goes well Bonnie. Can't wait to see your piccy! |
Trying this out: https://https://www.instagram.com/p/...on_share_sheet Hmm. Didn't work. Well, imagine a very cool photo here. (Now I'm probably starting to oversell it. Really, it's just an iPhone photo, it just came out cooler than I thought it would.) Oh well, I'll mess around with it later, my Fitbit is telling me to go for my walk. https://https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.f...30&oe=5CC5FD77 |
So i just got back from the neurosurgeon. You know, my normal doctor had me so scared with her doom and gloom tone when she told me about my MRI results but I feel reassured after visiting with the specialist. It’s not ideal, of course. I’m scheduled for back surgery on February 6th. Obviously I’d rather my back just miraculously fix itself. But it’s not as big a deal as I had feared — it’s a routine outpatient procedure which will be performed by one of the best neurosurgeons in Houston. I’m not trivializing it, it is my spine we’re talking about. But it’s not going to be awful. During the recovery time, I will still be up and around, going for my walks, just no lifting anything over 5-10 pounds for like a month or something. I know I said I didn’t want surgery, but at this point, I’ll just be glad to get myself back to normal. I can handle this. I can handle all kinds of **** when I’m not drinking. |
All good wishes for that surgery, Bonniefloyd. Good health to you :) |
Outpatient is always better than impatient for me Bonnie :) D |
Nice Bonnie, glad you're in good care. |
Our little class has become very quiet. I hope everyone is OK. I have noticed that some days now I don't actually have many if any cravings. They are definitely subsiding although at times they do like to send out a reminder (like a final demand) and they hit me like a brick! We have snow here in London, not much but some, very cold. Don't think you would be impressed Bonnie! Be good to hear how everyone is. |
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