Class of November 2018 Part 5
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 771
Kaily, well done! 100 days is a huge achievement. I’ve only managed to stay sober that long during pregnancies. (I guess it’s inaccurate to call it sober when you’re counting the days until your next drink though.) Anyway, you really inspire me because I know this hasn’t been easy for you. I want some of that determination. 
And Jimmy! Awesome job to you too. Keep going. You rock.
And Jimmy! Awesome job to you too. Keep going. You rock.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 7,059
Congats Jimmy, it's nice to share the same day with you. Extra accountability!
Thanks Bonnie. Yes this forever lark is a bit long. I think it is different but still not easy when you know you are going to drink sometime in the future.
Big well done on your 33 Days.
I worked out that I have saved at least £1200 not drinking, so I treated myself... wait for it .... to a new Dyson Hoover. Wow I know how to live it up.
Thanks Bonnie. Yes this forever lark is a bit long. I think it is different but still not easy when you know you are going to drink sometime in the future.
Big well done on your 33 Days.
I worked out that I have saved at least £1200 not drinking, so I treated myself... wait for it .... to a new Dyson Hoover. Wow I know how to live it up.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: Virginia
Posts: 59
Hello,
Congratulations on everyone's milestones. I'm still doing well. Work a lot since it's been crazy lately. I'm still working on the aquariums and walk my dog and I'm really enjoying myself. Watching fish is extremely relaxing and I put the shrimp tank near my desk at home so I can see them more.
I'm also playing computer games again. It's nice to play them sober and remembering what you did the next day. I noticed that my focus and overall memory is much better now and I heard it only gets better the longer you are sober. Keeping busy is my goal now. There are so many things I can do now without wasting each evening drinking and not getting anything done. You really don't realized how much better your life can be while you are drinking and I know it's very difficult to get through the first day or two but it's worth it.
Congratulations on everyone's milestones. I'm still doing well. Work a lot since it's been crazy lately. I'm still working on the aquariums and walk my dog and I'm really enjoying myself. Watching fish is extremely relaxing and I put the shrimp tank near my desk at home so I can see them more.
I'm also playing computer games again. It's nice to play them sober and remembering what you did the next day. I noticed that my focus and overall memory is much better now and I heard it only gets better the longer you are sober. Keeping busy is my goal now. There are so many things I can do now without wasting each evening drinking and not getting anything done. You really don't realized how much better your life can be while you are drinking and I know it's very difficult to get through the first day or two but it's worth it.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 771
A dyson is a great investment, Kaily. I don’t always think about the money I’m saving, but that is such a cool bonus.
Kay — what computer games are you into?
Anyone else around? How’s it going?
Im really looking forward to this evening. My husband and son are going to a basketball game, and my little one and I will have a movie night. Our movie nights are one of my favorite things. ❤️
Kay — what computer games are you into?
Anyone else around? How’s it going?
Im really looking forward to this evening. My husband and son are going to a basketball game, and my little one and I will have a movie night. Our movie nights are one of my favorite things. ❤️
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 388
Bonniefloyd - I am around. Movie night with the kids is always fun. Last weekend we watched the incredibles 2 on netflix. Awesome job at over 1 month!
Kay - I know what you mean that it is so nice to remember things. From movie plots, or where my keys or wallet are it, it is great to remember. Remembering Conversations I have with my wife is also very important.
I was watching John Mulaney on Netflix last night and one of the lines in his joke was, "and I had that thought only blackout drunks and Steve Urkel can have, did I do that." I could really relate to that joke.
JimmyJay and Kaily great job at over 100 days. Today is day 113 for me and by far the longest I have gone without drinking.
Happy Saturday to everyone else. I have said countless times before, Fridays are the hardest for me. Last night was not to bad though. My wife had to work late, which is very unusual on a Friday. I took the kids on a surprise trip to Chuck E Cheese. They had a great time and were very surprised. Usually we only do those types of things if it's a birthday.
the kids have swim lessons in an hour. My wife is going to take them. I'm going to work a few hours overtime today. I don't love working Saturdays but I need the extra time to catch up. They also pay me for it and the extra money is nice.
Kay - I know what you mean that it is so nice to remember things. From movie plots, or where my keys or wallet are it, it is great to remember. Remembering Conversations I have with my wife is also very important.
I was watching John Mulaney on Netflix last night and one of the lines in his joke was, "and I had that thought only blackout drunks and Steve Urkel can have, did I do that." I could really relate to that joke.
JimmyJay and Kaily great job at over 100 days. Today is day 113 for me and by far the longest I have gone without drinking.
Happy Saturday to everyone else. I have said countless times before, Fridays are the hardest for me. Last night was not to bad though. My wife had to work late, which is very unusual on a Friday. I took the kids on a surprise trip to Chuck E Cheese. They had a great time and were very surprised. Usually we only do those types of things if it's a birthday.
the kids have swim lessons in an hour. My wife is going to take them. I'm going to work a few hours overtime today. I don't love working Saturdays but I need the extra time to catch up. They also pay me for it and the extra money is nice.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: Virginia
Posts: 59
Bonnie - I like role playing games the best. Currently replaying Dragon Age inquisition. It's a great game, great characters and story. There is nothing like immersing yourself in another world, playing a hero, saving the world.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 771
Rd — I loved the Incredibles 2. I thought it was better than the first. Tbh, I think I like kid movies better than I like grownup movies. My favorite recent movie was Into the Spiderverse, or whatever it was called. My little one didn’t seem that interested in seeing it, but I persuaded her because I wanted to see it so badly. 
Your Chuck E Cheese visit sounds wonderful. A prime example of why we are doing this — we get to be spontaneous and present. Things like this matter.
Kay — that game sounds fun! Maybe I should try a new computer game. The only one I’ve ever played is The Sims 3 because I like to build the houses and community lots. Anyway, do you have any suggestions for someone who is typically a non-gamer?
Anyway, I’m on day 35 over here. Thinking less and less about drinking. Last night the 20-year-old joined the little one and I on our movie night and we had loads of fun. We watched Flushed Away, which I thought was just so-so, but the little one liked it.
Out walking now — have a great day! ❤️
Your Chuck E Cheese visit sounds wonderful. A prime example of why we are doing this — we get to be spontaneous and present. Things like this matter.
Kay — that game sounds fun! Maybe I should try a new computer game. The only one I’ve ever played is The Sims 3 because I like to build the houses and community lots. Anyway, do you have any suggestions for someone who is typically a non-gamer?
Anyway, I’m on day 35 over here. Thinking less and less about drinking. Last night the 20-year-old joined the little one and I on our movie night and we had loads of fun. We watched Flushed Away, which I thought was just so-so, but the little one liked it.
Out walking now — have a great day! ❤️
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 363
Just like that...the tides turn. I feel like a mental disaster. Fairly certain having the worst day at work today is what did it. It started with the notion of not wanting to go home after work, rather the thought of wanting to go somewhere and drink, to both "reward myself" from work and also drown myself from work. Now I'm letting stuff pile up and the self hatred is right around the corner. We all have our issues and right now I'm letting mine get the best of me.
Sorry to rant, this is why we're here right? Crazy the last time I felt this way was NY eve.
Sorry to rant, this is why we're here right? Crazy the last time I felt this way was NY eve.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 363
Thanks Bonnie I appreciate your response. Home on couch browsing here with college basketball on TV in the background is helping. Just having a lot of stuff going on lately and didn't think it would affect me as much as it is. Not trying to be vague but also I guess not wanting to air out my laundry either lol. I know we all have stuff and don't want to burden others with my stories.
I listened to a podcast the other day about accountability and such. I wonder if not being forthcoming with some of those close around me is affecting me too? I haven't really told anyone how much of a struggle this is. It's not everyday, but days like today are tough. You know...the whole is this worth it, why am I like this, etc etc.
I listened to a podcast the other day about accountability and such. I wonder if not being forthcoming with some of those close around me is affecting me too? I haven't really told anyone how much of a struggle this is. It's not everyday, but days like today are tough. You know...the whole is this worth it, why am I like this, etc etc.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,433
JimmyJlover
Darn that AV when it acts all noble - it'll do anything to keep us from getting the help and support we need
you're not burdening anyone with your stories- this is a support thread after all. If anyone really doesn't want to hear whats bothering you they can skip your posts - I doubt anyone will tho
Say as much as you like - we're here for you
I had a thing against bad days for while - they kinda made me feel my recovery wasn't good enough, or not working...
then I realised everyone has bad days, alcoholic or not. Thats Life.
The important thing is to try not to let it get you down and to stay sober. I hope tomorrow will be better JJL
D
Darn that AV when it acts all noble - it'll do anything to keep us from getting the help and support we need
you're not burdening anyone with your stories- this is a support thread after all. If anyone really doesn't want to hear whats bothering you they can skip your posts - I doubt anyone will tho
Say as much as you like - we're here for you
I had a thing against bad days for while - they kinda made me feel my recovery wasn't good enough, or not working...
then I realised everyone has bad days, alcoholic or not. Thats Life.
The important thing is to try not to let it get you down and to stay sober. I hope tomorrow will be better JJL
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 7,059
Sorry things are difficult Jimmy. I know exactly how you feel, that compulsion to numb everything, that temporary relief and escapism is just so hard to resist.
I have been like this all weekend, I didn't post cause I feel like I am always moaning. I felt like I was going mad!!
I ended up binge eating - this is new but becoming a problem. It is sorta replacing drinking which is scary. I feel absolutely desperate, alone and beyond help.
I ended up taking sleeping tablets yesterday at 4.30 in the afternoon so I could just sleep as I couldn't stand being with myself anymore.
I am really struggling with everything. I was not happy drinking now I'm not happy being sober, so what now?
Jimmy I am hoping this week is better for you. Don't give up!
Bonnie and Dee thanks for saying its ok to rant, I really needed to hear that. I have been posting less and less as I never have anything positive to say.
Not even been walking much as the weather has been too wet and now my dog has hurt his paw, I don't want to go on my own and the other dog is just too old for long walks.
I have been like this all weekend, I didn't post cause I feel like I am always moaning. I felt like I was going mad!!
I ended up binge eating - this is new but becoming a problem. It is sorta replacing drinking which is scary. I feel absolutely desperate, alone and beyond help.
I ended up taking sleeping tablets yesterday at 4.30 in the afternoon so I could just sleep as I couldn't stand being with myself anymore.
I am really struggling with everything. I was not happy drinking now I'm not happy being sober, so what now?
Jimmy I am hoping this week is better for you. Don't give up!
Bonnie and Dee thanks for saying its ok to rant, I really needed to hear that. I have been posting less and less as I never have anything positive to say.
Not even been walking much as the weather has been too wet and now my dog has hurt his paw, I don't want to go on my own and the other dog is just too old for long walks.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 771
Yes, Kaily, what Dee said. Rant away! I will not always have anything smart or helpful to say, but I will always, always want to listen and offer support.
As for the walking, can you break things up and do several shorter walks? Like today, the weather is crappy over here, so I’ll probably just get out there for a few minutes here and there. I think walking is so good for mental health.
Speakimg of mental health, have you tried anything like yoga or meditation? Not everyone’s cup of tea, but some find it useful.
Sorry the pupster hurt his cute little paw!
. I hope he’s all better soon.
Take care of yourself! ❤️❤️❤️
As for the walking, can you break things up and do several shorter walks? Like today, the weather is crappy over here, so I’ll probably just get out there for a few minutes here and there. I think walking is so good for mental health.
Speakimg of mental health, have you tried anything like yoga or meditation? Not everyone’s cup of tea, but some find it useful.
Sorry the pupster hurt his cute little paw!
. I hope he’s all better soon.Take care of yourself! ❤️❤️❤️
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 363
Bonnie, you are very kind. Thanks for being there.
Dee - you are absolutely right. The AV. I've never really called it that, but that is correct.
I ended up going to bed early and having some work dreams, LOL, you know the ones where you can't seem to move fast enough to get everything done...but at least I had my pants on!
Kaily I understand everything you wrote. Maybe this is the 100 day curse? After all, we are sober related with the same sobriety date. I'd like to do my best to keep that date, you too. But I get it, there are times when it sucks and last night was one for sure. I feel much better this morning but reading your post I can relate so much. Right now I don't think I am substituting anything in place of drinking. But I have in the past. I used to trail run and complete endurance races, often training for long hours and beating myself up. Honestly, at the time putting down training miles was often the same self hatred beating I would put upon myself, similar to when slamming a beer down by myself. That feeling of beating yourself up felt good. As much as people say exercise is healthy, this wasn't healthy behavior. I didn't listen to my body, just like when drinking.
I know I always harp on the podcast stuff, but I listened to another recently discussing being a "dry drunk". I believe that is an AA term, but the way it was described seemed to make a lot of sense. Basically, you can just "not drink", but if you're not doing something proactive each day to build an offense and defense against your drinking "problem" (habit, addiction, disease, etc) then you will fail and be miserable. Kaily I have felt that way lately. Almost like the newness of being sober is wearing off. As if I'm just going through the motion of not drinking, but in turn isolating myself to do so. That's not what I want in life. So I am thinking it may be time to reach out and discover what else is out there to stay sober and develop a sober living lifestyle. Maybe that means establishing myself in AA or something else similar where I can socialize with others who don't drink...yet also understand.
As of now, my anonymity is rock solid and no one knows what I am going through. I am not sure that is the best way either. I'm not talking about acquaintances or social friends, I'm talking about those close around me like family. Its like I don't want anyone close to know this is such a struggle just in case I decide to drink again down the road, I won't be looked upon as a failed alcoholic or something. Because no one would have ever known the struggle.
Whoa....that is a rant, LOL. Thanks all.
Dee - you are absolutely right. The AV. I've never really called it that, but that is correct.
I ended up going to bed early and having some work dreams, LOL, you know the ones where you can't seem to move fast enough to get everything done...but at least I had my pants on!
Kaily I understand everything you wrote. Maybe this is the 100 day curse? After all, we are sober related with the same sobriety date. I'd like to do my best to keep that date, you too. But I get it, there are times when it sucks and last night was one for sure. I feel much better this morning but reading your post I can relate so much. Right now I don't think I am substituting anything in place of drinking. But I have in the past. I used to trail run and complete endurance races, often training for long hours and beating myself up. Honestly, at the time putting down training miles was often the same self hatred beating I would put upon myself, similar to when slamming a beer down by myself. That feeling of beating yourself up felt good. As much as people say exercise is healthy, this wasn't healthy behavior. I didn't listen to my body, just like when drinking.
I know I always harp on the podcast stuff, but I listened to another recently discussing being a "dry drunk". I believe that is an AA term, but the way it was described seemed to make a lot of sense. Basically, you can just "not drink", but if you're not doing something proactive each day to build an offense and defense against your drinking "problem" (habit, addiction, disease, etc) then you will fail and be miserable. Kaily I have felt that way lately. Almost like the newness of being sober is wearing off. As if I'm just going through the motion of not drinking, but in turn isolating myself to do so. That's not what I want in life. So I am thinking it may be time to reach out and discover what else is out there to stay sober and develop a sober living lifestyle. Maybe that means establishing myself in AA or something else similar where I can socialize with others who don't drink...yet also understand.
As of now, my anonymity is rock solid and no one knows what I am going through. I am not sure that is the best way either. I'm not talking about acquaintances or social friends, I'm talking about those close around me like family. Its like I don't want anyone close to know this is such a struggle just in case I decide to drink again down the road, I won't be looked upon as a failed alcoholic or something. Because no one would have ever known the struggle.
Whoa....that is a rant, LOL. Thanks all.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,433
Its like I don't want anyone close to know this is such a struggle just in case I decide to drink again down the road, I won't be looked upon as a failed alcoholic or something. Because no one would have ever known the struggle.
I don't think not telling them in case you drink again is the best reason tho.
I think you have to try an maintain a position where drinking again is not a possiblility.
In a sense the point may become moot anyway. I believe alcoholism is progressive. I think if you were to return to regular drinking again it's likely it will become more and more obvious that you have a problem JJK.,
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 125
I’m a few days behind but congrats to Kaily and JJL on 100 days! It’s a huge accomplishment. Do not let the AV or work or anything take away all of that hard work. Someone on this site told me that even when we have our worst days sober, it pales in comparison to how awful we feel physically and especially mentally after a binge. Nothing is worse than the emotional hangover for me except facing those that are living in all of the other wreckage that I leave behind when I’m drinking...not every time, but it always comes back to that... always.
Friday will be 100 days for me. I haven’t been on SR for a few days and was catching up tonight when I saw your original 100 day posts... so full of pride and satisfaction. Don’t let that go. We all stumble. Get back up! You will certainly stumble again. And I know that I will need to be reminded too and I hope I’m smart enough to post here before posting my a$$ in a barstool.
reading your posts reminded me how quickly the tables can turn on us and that we have to be vigilant and have a game plan when we feel like we might give in. I’ve been counting the hours left in a night before I should be in bed and telling myself how ridiculous I am if I can’t handle three hours for example without drinking... and that three hours isn’t worth giving up all of this that I’ve worked to achieve. Another trick has been to have something worth getting up for in the morning. Luckily work is going really well... probably bc I’m not hungover which just kills my performance... and I don’t want to fall back into that. I also can’t workout if I’m hungover so I’ve been scheduling tough workouts for saturday or Sunday mornings. It a good excuse to use with friends too on why I’m not drinking on the weekends.
but just as I feel strong and like I have the dragon slayed, I know oh so well how I have slipped back into drinking again. It happens in an instant. I really don’t want to go back to that hell and risk losing everything.
Friday will be 100 days for me. I haven’t been on SR for a few days and was catching up tonight when I saw your original 100 day posts... so full of pride and satisfaction. Don’t let that go. We all stumble. Get back up! You will certainly stumble again. And I know that I will need to be reminded too and I hope I’m smart enough to post here before posting my a$$ in a barstool.
reading your posts reminded me how quickly the tables can turn on us and that we have to be vigilant and have a game plan when we feel like we might give in. I’ve been counting the hours left in a night before I should be in bed and telling myself how ridiculous I am if I can’t handle three hours for example without drinking... and that three hours isn’t worth giving up all of this that I’ve worked to achieve. Another trick has been to have something worth getting up for in the morning. Luckily work is going really well... probably bc I’m not hungover which just kills my performance... and I don’t want to fall back into that. I also can’t workout if I’m hungover so I’ve been scheduling tough workouts for saturday or Sunday mornings. It a good excuse to use with friends too on why I’m not drinking on the weekends.
but just as I feel strong and like I have the dragon slayed, I know oh so well how I have slipped back into drinking again. It happens in an instant. I really don’t want to go back to that hell and risk losing everything.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
