Class of November 2018 Part 5
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 771
I think I’ve figured it out, thanks Kaily! (Btw, you have a real knack for photography.) Here’s a pic I took while walking near the bayou with the pupster. Some of my walks are more naturey, I like to hit a variety of settings.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 388
Well it is Friday my usual big drinking night. I don't have any big plans, just going to hang out at home. I dont have any huge cravings which is good.
An old friend contacted me wanting to meet up for drinks next Friday. I said I would meet up but I won't be drinking. My AV always perks up when someone wants me to drink. However, it's not that bad anymore, plus fewer and fewer people bring up drinking the more time passes.
An old friend contacted me wanting to meet up for drinks next Friday. I said I would meet up but I won't be drinking. My AV always perks up when someone wants me to drink. However, it's not that bad anymore, plus fewer and fewer people bring up drinking the more time passes.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 252
Quiet night at home for me with a movie or two. My ex's new flame is visiting her for the weekend. I'm struggling a bit with how quickly and completely I have apparently been replaced. But I'm happy for her if she's happy.
On a more positive note my weight is down to 224 pounds. Lightest I've been since I was playing soccer and rugby in college. To put that in perspective I'm 6'2" and pretty solid. Arms are up to 18 inches. So at least the fitness regimen is doing what I want. Day 53 today, and I feel pretty good. Everyone have a good night!
On a more positive note my weight is down to 224 pounds. Lightest I've been since I was playing soccer and rugby in college. To put that in perspective I'm 6'2" and pretty solid. Arms are up to 18 inches. So at least the fitness regimen is doing what I want. Day 53 today, and I feel pretty good. Everyone have a good night!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 7,055
Nice to hear your AV is behaving reasonably well RD2.
Dafunbra Sorry you are still struggling with feelings for your ex, always a difficult & painful situation. Maybe it would less so if you distance yourself from her and what she is doing a little, at least for now. Give yourself a chance to heal.
Great job on 53 Days plus the weight loss!
Day 87
I have been awake since 3 am, waiting for it to get light. Wish I could sleep better.
I have also lost some weight and a lot of the bloating that comes from heavy drinking.
Bit down in the dumps
Dafunbra Sorry you are still struggling with feelings for your ex, always a difficult & painful situation. Maybe it would less so if you distance yourself from her and what she is doing a little, at least for now. Give yourself a chance to heal.
Great job on 53 Days plus the weight loss!
Day 87
I have been awake since 3 am, waiting for it to get light. Wish I could sleep better.
I have also lost some weight and a lot of the bloating that comes from heavy drinking.
Bit down in the dumps
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 7,055
Thanks RD2, I guess I am very lonely but that is nothing new. I do what I can to keep busy but it's tough at times.
Caramel, thanks you hit the nail on the head, I don't really have fun anymore. I go walking and that's it. I need to concentrate all my efforts on staying sober, not ready for anything else just yet.
Caramel, thanks you hit the nail on the head, I don't really have fun anymore. I go walking and that's it. I need to concentrate all my efforts on staying sober, not ready for anything else just yet.
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 32,369
I think we all deserve to make things as pleasant as possible for ourselves.
I like to cook simple food and present it nicely; to have the pleasure of using my "best" things; to splash out on a little annual holiday after decades of going without.
My walks take me past homes and gardens where I admire the flowers; public parks where I've learned the history of some of the trees planted as memorials to famous people and events.
I like to learn about and observe birds and weather and just about anything really!
I choose to watch movies and tv that are generally light-hearted and well-acted - for me this means re-watching a lot of things I enjoyed years ago.
I keep aware of seasonal changes and traditions.
I've learned it's important to have things to look forward to.
I like to cook simple food and present it nicely; to have the pleasure of using my "best" things; to splash out on a little annual holiday after decades of going without.
My walks take me past homes and gardens where I admire the flowers; public parks where I've learned the history of some of the trees planted as memorials to famous people and events.
I like to learn about and observe birds and weather and just about anything really!
I choose to watch movies and tv that are generally light-hearted and well-acted - for me this means re-watching a lot of things I enjoyed years ago.
I keep aware of seasonal changes and traditions.
I've learned it's important to have things to look forward to.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 252
I think it's important to find enjoyment. Sometimes that's a struggle for me but we only get this journey once and I came to the conclusion if we can't enjoy it then what's the point? So I work at it. I enjoy exercise. I enjoy reading, movies and some TV. I enjoy my work. I enjoy my IOP meetings and AA meetings, like today. I enjoy going to church and worshipping there. I pray a lot for guidance and for others. Again, sometimes it's a struggle given my legal situation, relationship status, and driving restrictions, but I really want that enjoyment. Part of my morning routine is meditation and part of that is making a concerted effort to find gratitude and making the decision that today WILL be a good day, no matter what. It's slightly easier today than it was 3 weeks ago, and I have faith that it will continue to get easier. I'm enjoying working on me, and I also have faith that the path I am on will finally let me become the man I should have been a long time ago.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 388
Kaily - I remember from previous posts you talked about being lonely. I can understand how triggering that could be.
I have two small children so I cant exactly say I am lonely. However, for the last 20 years it was impossible for me to enjoy myself without alcohol. Every single thing I did for fun had to have alcohol or it was not fun. Vacactions, amusement parks, kids birthdays, sporting events, BBQ, family get togethers, you name it, alcohol was a must.
if alcohol was not there I would not have fun. A few sad examples include; a dry wedding one of my best friends had, I bolted as soon as dinner was over to hit the bar. Many years after I graduated, my high schools football team went to the state championship. I was upset when I found out they would not be serving beer at the game. I spent most of the time trying to see if anyone snuck any booze in. I could not find any and left in a hurry to go drink. Also, every one of my children's events that did not have alcohol was a chore. I am slowly learning that people do actually have fun without alcohol and so can I. It is a process but it is getting easier. I am very curious to see how I feel when I get to the one year mark.
I know I can't be much help regarding your loneliness, I really wish I could. The one thing I do know is alcohol will only make it worse, not better. Take care and keep posting.
I have two small children so I cant exactly say I am lonely. However, for the last 20 years it was impossible for me to enjoy myself without alcohol. Every single thing I did for fun had to have alcohol or it was not fun. Vacactions, amusement parks, kids birthdays, sporting events, BBQ, family get togethers, you name it, alcohol was a must.
if alcohol was not there I would not have fun. A few sad examples include; a dry wedding one of my best friends had, I bolted as soon as dinner was over to hit the bar. Many years after I graduated, my high schools football team went to the state championship. I was upset when I found out they would not be serving beer at the game. I spent most of the time trying to see if anyone snuck any booze in. I could not find any and left in a hurry to go drink. Also, every one of my children's events that did not have alcohol was a chore. I am slowly learning that people do actually have fun without alcohol and so can I. It is a process but it is getting easier. I am very curious to see how I feel when I get to the one year mark.
I know I can't be much help regarding your loneliness, I really wish I could. The one thing I do know is alcohol will only make it worse, not better. Take care and keep posting.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 771
Hope everyone is doing well. Sorry you池e feeling down Kaily. I believe as you continue in your sobriety your comfort zone will greatly expand, making it possible for you to improve all areas of your life. You seem to have a lot of patience and self awareness, which I find really motivating when I知 having my own struggles. Keep hanging in there!
Anyway, I知 on Day 21, feeling good mentally. My longest streak was 27 days, so I知 going to beat that for sure.
Anyway, I知 on Day 21, feeling good mentally. My longest streak was 27 days, so I知 going to beat that for sure.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 771
Thanks Rd! I feel like I知 in a better place today than I was last time I hit 21 days. It痴 weird because I was on the verge of giving up 22 days ago, but something flipped a switch. I sure wish I knew what that something was, in case I need to flip that switch again. Oh well, right now I feel like I want to keep going, I知 liking this.
Big congratulations on your 100 days!!! That is really something to be proud of. Today I will have ice cream in your honor. (Okay, I was going to have the ice cream anyway.)
Big congratulations on your 100 days!!! That is really something to be proud of. Today I will have ice cream in your honor. (Okay, I was going to have the ice cream anyway.)
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 252
Congrats on day 21, Bonnie. And congrats on 100 R2d. Way to go, both of you!
Today is day 55 for me. That part of my life feels good. Church service this morning was good. Going to church was hard, because I knew my ex was going to be there with her new beau. Turned out she was there by herself. I ran into her as I was leaving, but she just walked by. Trying very hard to turn that page. Cooked a great lunch, and am now relaxing. Everyone have a great day!
Today is day 55 for me. That part of my life feels good. Church service this morning was good. Going to church was hard, because I knew my ex was going to be there with her new beau. Turned out she was there by herself. I ran into her as I was leaving, but she just walked by. Trying very hard to turn that page. Cooked a great lunch, and am now relaxing. Everyone have a great day!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 7,055
Still not great Dee, thanks for asking. Pulled the scab off many wounds getting sober and I feel very raw and exposed. Been waiting for therapy over two years - NHS waiting lists!
Just feel tired of having to fight for everything. Fed up with my lonely isolated life that I created during my drinking. Don't really like people anymore either. I don't trust them. No one can hurt me if I keep them away.
Sorry for the miserable post but that is how I feel.
Just feel tired of having to fight for everything. Fed up with my lonely isolated life that I created during my drinking. Don't really like people anymore either. I don't trust them. No one can hurt me if I keep them away.
Sorry for the miserable post but that is how I feel.
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