Class of August 2018 Part 9
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: England
Posts: 615
Thanks Darkling,
I really feel for you with the anxiety, I am just the same. This skullcap is absolutely saving me right now. I couldn't eat my meal then, my anxiety and panic came on so strong I couldn't even swallow my food, then that my pancreatitis is back then with all the pressure in my head I thought a brain hemorrhage. I almost laugh as I write it now afterwards but as you'll know at the time of thought it's everything but funny! Just taken more skullcap to keep the extreme anxiety at bay.
Will try to eat again shortly, I just never stop being so stunned at what alcohol withdrawal, addiction and anxiety are capable of.
I really feel for you with the anxiety, I am just the same. This skullcap is absolutely saving me right now. I couldn't eat my meal then, my anxiety and panic came on so strong I couldn't even swallow my food, then that my pancreatitis is back then with all the pressure in my head I thought a brain hemorrhage. I almost laugh as I write it now afterwards but as you'll know at the time of thought it's everything but funny! Just taken more skullcap to keep the extreme anxiety at bay.
Will try to eat again shortly, I just never stop being so stunned at what alcohol withdrawal, addiction and anxiety are capable of.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,246
Oh man, do I know.......all my health worries destroyed my appetite. I cannot eat the day or two before tests. In the last 3 months I have lost over 6 kgs. And of course that makes me even more anxious!!!
Just try and eat a little bit anyway. I know its so hard with the anxiety. Are you staying with your parents? I hope you have someone supporting you and making you some nice food to eat.
Even if sleep is rocky for now, make sure and get lots of rest. I am cheering you on and sending prayers your way.
Just try and eat a little bit anyway. I know its so hard with the anxiety. Are you staying with your parents? I hope you have someone supporting you and making you some nice food to eat.
Even if sleep is rocky for now, make sure and get lots of rest. I am cheering you on and sending prayers your way.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 9,003
Good evening all. Snow expected for the next few days here. It is cozy looking out at the storm.
I've been staying with my Dad at his apartment in independent living. I do enjoy meeting the other senior citizens. Many are very interesting.
One gentleman who I have enjoyed had a bad spell with his health a few months ago. A retired physician, he had been very active, volunteering at a school and as a blacksmith at a living history museum. For over a month he just looked grey and had to use a walker. Finally medical tests revealed he was not getting vitamin B1. Yesterday he told me the rest of the story. Like may of us, he loved his evening cocktail and wine with dinner. Because of the alcohol his body wasn't absorbing vitamin B1 so he has stopped drinking and joined AA. I bet he would not be here now without quitting.
Alcohol: just a dicey liquid to mess around with. Darkling, I'm so glad you are holding your own with all the Anxiety. Katy, so happy you made it back to us.
I'm headed for a sexy glamorous evening of crocheting an edging on a shawl while rewatching Jane the Virgin.
Keep the course all.
I've been staying with my Dad at his apartment in independent living. I do enjoy meeting the other senior citizens. Many are very interesting.
One gentleman who I have enjoyed had a bad spell with his health a few months ago. A retired physician, he had been very active, volunteering at a school and as a blacksmith at a living history museum. For over a month he just looked grey and had to use a walker. Finally medical tests revealed he was not getting vitamin B1. Yesterday he told me the rest of the story. Like may of us, he loved his evening cocktail and wine with dinner. Because of the alcohol his body wasn't absorbing vitamin B1 so he has stopped drinking and joined AA. I bet he would not be here now without quitting.
Alcohol: just a dicey liquid to mess around with. Darkling, I'm so glad you are holding your own with all the Anxiety. Katy, so happy you made it back to us.
I'm headed for a sexy glamorous evening of crocheting an edging on a shawl while rewatching Jane the Virgin.
Keep the course all.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 9,003
Congrats Matrac. 7 months is really racking it up.
Outside our window looks a bit like your avatar right now. It is coming down hard. It is supposed to be 2-3 inches but the way it is snowing, I think it will be more.
Outside our window looks a bit like your avatar right now. It is coming down hard. It is supposed to be 2-3 inches but the way it is snowing, I think it will be more.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 1,287
Saturday morning , 8:30
Morning all.
Still very tired, after a very late night/morning, but missed you guys too much – so got up, made some tea and logged in to my favourite place.
Had to entertain my husband’s cousin yesterday , so had lunch with her and my SIL. We had a golfclub evening after that from 6 with prizegivings, live music etc. Was very enjoyable. Under a stretch tent outside , with a cloudburst halfway through. I was so, so stressed about my daughter and her bf driving in that weather in the dark – she phoned to say they made it home safely at about 10 – had to drive through terrible rain with poor visibility in the dark. We got home after midnight and then I sat with my daughter talking and catching up until 3 this morning!!! (And my grand dog was sooooo happy to see me – I just love that pup!!)
I once again am amazed at how I can still party and enjoy it without drinking. It was one of my fears when quitting – that parties would become boring, that I would come across as boring , that I would find the people drinking irritating – but none of that is true. And the nice thing is that people around me don’t really even notice I am not drinking. Glad I’m only tired this morning and not hungover to boot.
Katy, hope you are feeling better, it’s a day by day thing as you know – and here’s hoping today is a good day for you. I am so happy to hear that I managed to get a smile out of you, special girl.
Darkling, hugs again , thinking of you. I really hope you can get to the bottom of this soon ,but still think you should consider taking something for the anxiety to tide you over , until you have all the answers you are looking for. Have you tried the Scullcap that Katy mentioned?
Barbs, thanks, believe me I have smothered her in hugs and will do so the rest of weekend 😊
Bonnie, I also love any medical programs , especially animal ones. I love all the Vet programs, and My Cat from Hell and any human med stories too. Chicago Med, Gray’s, The Resident. There used to be one, forget the name, in India … The Good Karma hospital, I think – loved that … And also , always with wool and crochet hook in hand 😊 And whoo-hoo , on your 7 months. Isn’t it just absolutely awesome???? Once again, I am one month behind you at 6 mths tomorrow. Let’s go , girl, and kick ass in this sobriety thing.
Alice – haha – once again you made me laugh , “not until 60”. I actually don’t know enough about the menopause, (sorry for this discussion guys , Dee, Bob,David), but have also heard HRT actually protects against heartdisease. Luckily the flushes are over, been gone about a year now, and I went through that without any help, but this feeling of aches and pains – I don’t want to feel this way . So , going to do the tests. My good old friend, in his 70’s, who is a doctor, told me the codes for the specific estrogen tests I must ask for to be done, as well as Thyroid. Enough of this though.
Bee, enjoy the snow , sounds wonderfully romantic. I am looking forward to autumn and winter here – I have always loved living in an area with distinct changes in the seasons – each one with it’s own charm. Your chats with the oldies at your dad’s home sounds so interesting. They must have so many stories to tell. And I am sure they really appreciate you listening to them and showing an interest in them. So very sweet and kind of you.
Sending hugs and lots of love to all of you around the globe – you make me feel so rich, having you in my life.XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Morning all.
Still very tired, after a very late night/morning, but missed you guys too much – so got up, made some tea and logged in to my favourite place.
Had to entertain my husband’s cousin yesterday , so had lunch with her and my SIL. We had a golfclub evening after that from 6 with prizegivings, live music etc. Was very enjoyable. Under a stretch tent outside , with a cloudburst halfway through. I was so, so stressed about my daughter and her bf driving in that weather in the dark – she phoned to say they made it home safely at about 10 – had to drive through terrible rain with poor visibility in the dark. We got home after midnight and then I sat with my daughter talking and catching up until 3 this morning!!! (And my grand dog was sooooo happy to see me – I just love that pup!!)
I once again am amazed at how I can still party and enjoy it without drinking. It was one of my fears when quitting – that parties would become boring, that I would come across as boring , that I would find the people drinking irritating – but none of that is true. And the nice thing is that people around me don’t really even notice I am not drinking. Glad I’m only tired this morning and not hungover to boot.
Katy, hope you are feeling better, it’s a day by day thing as you know – and here’s hoping today is a good day for you. I am so happy to hear that I managed to get a smile out of you, special girl.
Darkling, hugs again , thinking of you. I really hope you can get to the bottom of this soon ,but still think you should consider taking something for the anxiety to tide you over , until you have all the answers you are looking for. Have you tried the Scullcap that Katy mentioned?
Barbs, thanks, believe me I have smothered her in hugs and will do so the rest of weekend 😊
Bonnie, I also love any medical programs , especially animal ones. I love all the Vet programs, and My Cat from Hell and any human med stories too. Chicago Med, Gray’s, The Resident. There used to be one, forget the name, in India … The Good Karma hospital, I think – loved that … And also , always with wool and crochet hook in hand 😊 And whoo-hoo , on your 7 months. Isn’t it just absolutely awesome???? Once again, I am one month behind you at 6 mths tomorrow. Let’s go , girl, and kick ass in this sobriety thing.
Alice – haha – once again you made me laugh , “not until 60”. I actually don’t know enough about the menopause, (sorry for this discussion guys , Dee, Bob,David), but have also heard HRT actually protects against heartdisease. Luckily the flushes are over, been gone about a year now, and I went through that without any help, but this feeling of aches and pains – I don’t want to feel this way . So , going to do the tests. My good old friend, in his 70’s, who is a doctor, told me the codes for the specific estrogen tests I must ask for to be done, as well as Thyroid. Enough of this though.
Bee, enjoy the snow , sounds wonderfully romantic. I am looking forward to autumn and winter here – I have always loved living in an area with distinct changes in the seasons – each one with it’s own charm. Your chats with the oldies at your dad’s home sounds so interesting. They must have so many stories to tell. And I am sure they really appreciate you listening to them and showing an interest in them. So very sweet and kind of you.
Sending hugs and lots of love to all of you around the globe – you make me feel so rich, having you in my life.XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: England
Posts: 615
Waking up this morning feeling alot better and to be sat here with my 1st morning coffee in over 2 weeks and seeing all you guys here and all the posts is the best!!!
Darkling, I'm not with my parents, I'm home with my dog and bf so I'm not alone. Managing to eat now, I tend to eat more when I stop drinking but with my anxiety I now get this very strange thing happen where my throat wont actually swallow, sounds crazy but it just happens, sometimes when I try to take my vitamins too, if it happens I have to spit them out, I dread to think how many more weird anxiety symptoms would arise if we were to carry on drinking!!! Hope you're doing ok and I really do strongly recommend this skullcap, it's a nervine, a sedative, excellent for anxiety!!! Sending prayers back you way too.
Matrac, great to know you're still here
Congrats on 7 months!!! How do you guys all count your days? I'm never sure whether I'm counting 4 weeks as a month so 28 days or 30 days.... Is there a right way to work it out? My brains still mush right now so want to know and get counting them back up! Hope you have a lovely weekend.
Bekind, How are you? How is your Dad? Love the sound of being inside cosy watching the storm... I take a vit b1 daily now, it's thiamine which you maybe already know, the main one we loose when drinking, my bf got me vitb yesterday so I can build it back up. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.
Morning Ayers, really good to read about how you thought partying / socialising would be sober to how it actually is. I always have the same worries, my favorite thing is to go for nice food out along with nice drinks so its a big hurdle for me. I really need to fill the gaps this time, each time I stop drinking I do nothing else, just work alone at home and walks with my dog, hopefully some meetings will help!
Well I do feel alot better this morn, still not fully myself but so much better, over the worst, not pushing to do anything today other than a walk with my bf and dog. I had my 1st meeting but my friend has to go elsewhere for 3 hours before it and have to go with her as I cant get to it alone, too much too soon being all over the place with other people today, i'm still very fragile, there's a local meeting wed night so I can just walk there myself so I will definitely go to that.
I actually shouted outloud this morning a huge thank you for my pancreas not going again, I can't believe it hasn't, I have little twinges but I think that's just letting me know I pushed my luck and its feeling the strain. Craving broccoli, tomatoes and spinach all yest and today lol so that's a good thing, eating plenty of fresh veges this week and getting healthy again, I can feel my body begging for nourishment.
Anyway I can't stress enough how much it means to be back on here with all you familiar friends and your stories
Have a lovely weekend all.
xxxxxx
Darkling, I'm not with my parents, I'm home with my dog and bf so I'm not alone. Managing to eat now, I tend to eat more when I stop drinking but with my anxiety I now get this very strange thing happen where my throat wont actually swallow, sounds crazy but it just happens, sometimes when I try to take my vitamins too, if it happens I have to spit them out, I dread to think how many more weird anxiety symptoms would arise if we were to carry on drinking!!! Hope you're doing ok and I really do strongly recommend this skullcap, it's a nervine, a sedative, excellent for anxiety!!! Sending prayers back you way too.
Matrac, great to know you're still here
Congrats on 7 months!!! How do you guys all count your days? I'm never sure whether I'm counting 4 weeks as a month so 28 days or 30 days.... Is there a right way to work it out? My brains still mush right now so want to know and get counting them back up! Hope you have a lovely weekend.Bekind, How are you? How is your Dad? Love the sound of being inside cosy watching the storm... I take a vit b1 daily now, it's thiamine which you maybe already know, the main one we loose when drinking, my bf got me vitb yesterday so I can build it back up. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.
Morning Ayers, really good to read about how you thought partying / socialising would be sober to how it actually is. I always have the same worries, my favorite thing is to go for nice food out along with nice drinks so its a big hurdle for me. I really need to fill the gaps this time, each time I stop drinking I do nothing else, just work alone at home and walks with my dog, hopefully some meetings will help!
Well I do feel alot better this morn, still not fully myself but so much better, over the worst, not pushing to do anything today other than a walk with my bf and dog. I had my 1st meeting but my friend has to go elsewhere for 3 hours before it and have to go with her as I cant get to it alone, too much too soon being all over the place with other people today, i'm still very fragile, there's a local meeting wed night so I can just walk there myself so I will definitely go to that.
I actually shouted outloud this morning a huge thank you for my pancreas not going again, I can't believe it hasn't, I have little twinges but I think that's just letting me know I pushed my luck and its feeling the strain. Craving broccoli, tomatoes and spinach all yest and today lol so that's a good thing, eating plenty of fresh veges this week and getting healthy again, I can feel my body begging for nourishment.
Anyway I can't stress enough how much it means to be back on here with all you familiar friends and your stories
Have a lovely weekend all.
xxxxxx
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 149
Hey everyone. Hope y’all are doing good.
Katy... I’m sorry you relapsed but I’m glad you’re back here. You can absolutely do it this time. Just learn from this relapse.
I’m 7 days from 7 months alcohol free so I can’t wait to next weekend and I’ll celebrate with the cinema and food.
I started a job in a call center. It’s really awful and not connected to my degree in anyway but I need the money so it will have to do for now.
Also, one of my friends is talking about a stag party soon. I really don’t want to go and I’m thinking of just saying this to them. There would be too much booze and I might find it diifficult.
I hope everybody has a great weekend.
Katy... I’m sorry you relapsed but I’m glad you’re back here. You can absolutely do it this time. Just learn from this relapse.
I’m 7 days from 7 months alcohol free so I can’t wait to next weekend and I’ll celebrate with the cinema and food.
I started a job in a call center. It’s really awful and not connected to my degree in anyway but I need the money so it will have to do for now.
Also, one of my friends is talking about a stag party soon. I really don’t want to go and I’m thinking of just saying this to them. There would be too much booze and I might find it diifficult.
I hope everybody has a great weekend.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: nj
Posts: 470
Ayers, I hope your tests and care point you in the direction of feeling better...you too DS. As for the partying without drinking....I find it easier ina crowd than 1 on 1...just goes to show you that some of the things we tend to be self conscious about are not valid.
Katy, you sound even better today. When I first quit, I indulged in my food cravings....I think your senses are heightened and so things may taste better? Anyway, it’s one of those good things about sobriety. Thiamine is good for you now...are you under a doctor’s care? I hope you find what helps you best. I can tell you really want sobriety and I know it’s there for your taking. PS, I sometimes count days if I want to celebrate a milestone number, but if I am countiing months I go by the calendar numbr...My last drink was on July22
Barbs....We did the genetic testing in our house. So funny that my husband and I are so different from each other....not a single place do our ancestors have in common and yet we met in part because we lived in the same town! I am English, Irish, French, and German. He is 100% Eastern European. I am fair haired and blue eyed, he has dark brown hair and eyes. I’m tall, he’s not....ect.... It’s also interesting to learn where those who share your ancestry currently live.
Doubledee....you have a great outlook and when combined with your sobriety, I’m sure that you’ll find work you like better. The script you have written for yourself sounds perfect. Not many know that I had drinking trouble and so I sometimes avoid events altogether or I hang onto a glass of soda, or I just say that I’m not drinking today. Doesn’t really matter what you say as long as it works for you.
Good Saturday everyone! Would still love to hear from Bob
Katy, you sound even better today. When I first quit, I indulged in my food cravings....I think your senses are heightened and so things may taste better? Anyway, it’s one of those good things about sobriety. Thiamine is good for you now...are you under a doctor’s care? I hope you find what helps you best. I can tell you really want sobriety and I know it’s there for your taking. PS, I sometimes count days if I want to celebrate a milestone number, but if I am countiing months I go by the calendar numbr...My last drink was on July22
Barbs....We did the genetic testing in our house. So funny that my husband and I are so different from each other....not a single place do our ancestors have in common and yet we met in part because we lived in the same town! I am English, Irish, French, and German. He is 100% Eastern European. I am fair haired and blue eyed, he has dark brown hair and eyes. I’m tall, he’s not....ect.... It’s also interesting to learn where those who share your ancestry currently live.
Doubledee....you have a great outlook and when combined with your sobriety, I’m sure that you’ll find work you like better. The script you have written for yourself sounds perfect. Not many know that I had drinking trouble and so I sometimes avoid events altogether or I hang onto a glass of soda, or I just say that I’m not drinking today. Doesn’t really matter what you say as long as it works for you.
Good Saturday everyone! Would still love to hear from Bob
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 9,003
Hi all, probably about 6 inches last night. It is melting fast.
I haven't done much except get groceries, pick up a prescription, and go to a place that does taxes for free. It looks like I am missing a few documents to I didn't even talk to a volunteer.
Katy I absolutely did not know anything about B1 until my friend had that problem:
"I take a vit b1 daily now, it's thiamine which you maybe already know, the main one we loose when drinking, my bf got me vitb yesterday so I can build it back up. Enjoy the rest of your weekend." >>>> Have you always known this and did anyone else know this?
Well it is the armpit of the day for me 3:00. I'm recruiting my sister to get me up and productive for the next few hours.
I haven't done much except get groceries, pick up a prescription, and go to a place that does taxes for free. It looks like I am missing a few documents to I didn't even talk to a volunteer.
Katy I absolutely did not know anything about B1 until my friend had that problem:
"I take a vit b1 daily now, it's thiamine which you maybe already know, the main one we loose when drinking, my bf got me vitb yesterday so I can build it back up. Enjoy the rest of your weekend." >>>> Have you always known this and did anyone else know this?
Well it is the armpit of the day for me 3:00. I'm recruiting my sister to get me up and productive for the next few hours.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 2,279
Katy I'm glad your back, I kept coming in here to check if you had posted and am happy to see you have come back to try again..
I myself have been on and off, I have spent half this year drinking and half sober, I feel no real connection to the threads I was in and I think this didn't help with staying sober, plus I was put off by something someone said to me and ended up feeling a bit ****.
I need to be active on this site daily, not just reading but actually posting..
I like it here so I'm hoping I'm welcome back..
I myself have been on and off, I have spent half this year drinking and half sober, I feel no real connection to the threads I was in and I think this didn't help with staying sober, plus I was put off by something someone said to me and ended up feeling a bit ****.
I need to be active on this site daily, not just reading but actually posting..
I like it here so I'm hoping I'm welcome back..
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 9,003
Originally Posted by Red78 
Katy I'm glad your back, I kept coming in here to check if you had posted and am happy to see you have come back to try again..
I myself have been on and off, I have spent half this year drinking and half sober, I feel no real connection to the threads I was in and I think this didn't help with staying sober, plus I was put off by something someone said to me and ended up feeling a bit ****.
I need to be active on this site daily, not just reading but actually posting..
I like it here so I'm hoping I'm welcome back..
I myself have been on and off, I have spent half this year drinking and half sober, I feel no real connection to the threads I was in and I think this didn't help with staying sober, plus I was put off by something someone said to me and ended up feeling a bit ****.
I need to be active on this site daily, not just reading but actually posting..
I like it here so I'm hoping I'm welcome back..
"Safety in numbers " might not apply completely accurately to these monthly classes but perhaps a bit.
How long have you been sober this time? . . . . Someone asked how each of us is counting months. I count months as I am not good at numbers and after about 50 days I start loosing track. I know some months are 30 days others 31 days and Feb will be 28 but I don't worry about it; I will still count February as month albeit a short month. I suppose after I hit a year I will count years and months.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 2,279
Originally Posted by Bekindalways
Oh Red, please post with us. Our group is getting a little thin . . .ugh. I wish Bob would come back and love when Justtony and Doubledee check in. I still want a reunion in St. Augustine Florida in 10 years.
"Safety in numbers " might not apply completely accurately to these monthly classes but perhaps a bit.
How long have you been sober this time? . . . . Someone asked how each of us is counting months. I count months as I am not good at numbers and after about 50 days I start loosing track. I know some months are 30 days others 31 days and Feb will be 28 but I don't worry about it; I will still count February as month albeit a short month. I suppose after I hit a year I will count years and months.
"Safety in numbers " might not apply completely accurately to these monthly classes but perhaps a bit.
How long have you been sober this time? . . . . Someone asked how each of us is counting months. I count months as I am not good at numbers and after about 50 days I start loosing track. I know some months are 30 days others 31 days and Feb will be 28 but I don't worry about it; I will still count February as month albeit a short month. I suppose after I hit a year I will count years and months.
Drinking takes me away from being my authentic self and I need to keep this in mind..
I am sad as JT has disappeared again and I hope one day he comes back..
Has anyone heard from suzesobriety?
I'm glad so many of you are still here..
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 2,279
Originally Posted by matrac
Red, you are more than welcome. We all missed you. Hope you are doing well
I am OK. Not great but this isn't to do with my drinking though..
I'm trying to work through some massive life decesions and issues at the moment and things are a little tough emotionally.. I will be alright though..
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 9,003
Originally Posted by Red78
I was sober for a week then drank for a week then sober for 3 then drank on valentines then sober for a week then drank for 2 days and here I am in day 2.. I haven't given up yet lol
Drinking takes me away from being my authentic self and I need to keep this in mind..
I am sad as JT has disappeared again and I hope one day he comes back..
Has anyone heard from suzesobriety?
I'm glad so many of you are still here..
Drinking takes me away from being my authentic self and I need to keep this in mind..
I am sad as JT has disappeared again and I hope one day he comes back..
Has anyone heard from suzesobriety?
I'm glad so many of you are still here..
Have you figured out any more tools or found any more support for when things are rough? Alice (I think it was you Alice) said she started drinking again because of boredom; this could so be me . . . .although I don't have a plan beyond knitting, crocheting and netflix so not exactly a brilliant plan.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 2,279
Originally Posted by Bekindalways
You really have been fighting the good fight Red. Kudos to you for climbing back on and back on and back on . . . . .not easy and not what any of us would want for you but please, please please, keep getting up and at it.
Have you figured out any more tools or found any more support for when things are rough? Alice (I think it was you Alice) said she started drinking again because of boredom; this could so be me . . . .although I don't have a plan beyond knitting, crocheting and netflix so not exactly a brilliant plan.
Have you figured out any more tools or found any more support for when things are rough? Alice (I think it was you Alice) said she started drinking again because of boredom; this could so be me . . . .although I don't have a plan beyond knitting, crocheting and netflix so not exactly a brilliant plan.
I have this weird thing connected with drinking as my partner and I always hung out and drank together, now it doesn't work so well as he doesn't have the same problem as I do and doesn't always want to drink which is fine but I don't know how to hang out with him without drinking. I've realised we have intimacy issues(and I don't mean just sex) so I find it easier to drink and avoid it. These intimacy issues aren't related to drinking but drinking helps me to not look at it.
I am seeing a counsellor to try and wade through some of the ****.
I just need to make sure I don't go to any events as I am triggered to drink. I need to throw myself into my spiritual side and focus on that, maybe get myself back into studies..
posting here everyday will help me too..
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