24 Hour Recovery Connections Part 426
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,433
Originally Posted by Willow68 
I think I’m not used to feeling anything much. I drank for 35 years, since I was 15. I guess I numbed out all the hard things with alcohol. Now I’m experiencing the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with, and the intense raw emotion is sometimes so overwhelming. I think after having to suppress my grief the last few weeks of being in ongoing social situations, now means that as I’m alone now, all the pent up grief is pouring out. And I’m getting a headache. I really need to make myself get up out of bed and make myself a coffee.
Thank you Calmerwaters
❤️But yes, that was a lot....and I would be exhausted if I was you.
I know you know it's only a few years for me since I lost dad and Auntie Dorothy (his sister and my best friend) and my mum 3 years before that. That took a LOT of healing...and yours happened all at once. That is HARD.
So nurture you....and let us keep loving you through this. It will be a while before it gets easier....but it will: I promise.
❤️
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Originally Posted by venuscat
Yes love....to be honest....I was pretty worried about you doing all of that over the holidays....but also really proud of you for having the courage to be a partner to your partner....it is hard for us in early recovery to be around alcohol....and I understand that your Christmas plans were important to your guy....and you came through so well. You were so strong.
But yes, that was a lot....and I would be exhausted if I was you.
I know you know it's only a few years for me since I lost dad and Auntie Dorothy (his sister and my best friend) and my mum 3 years before that. That took a LOT of healing...and yours happened all at once. That is HARD.
So nurture you....and let us keep loving you through this. It will be a while before it gets easier....but it will: I promise. ❤️
But yes, that was a lot....and I would be exhausted if I was you.
I know you know it's only a few years for me since I lost dad and Auntie Dorothy (his sister and my best friend) and my mum 3 years before that. That took a LOT of healing...and yours happened all at once. That is HARD.
So nurture you....and let us keep loving you through this. It will be a while before it gets easier....but it will: I promise.
❤️ ❤️ I just can’t seem to stop crying today. The tears are just pouring out, I can barely see as I type this. You’re right, I did the Christmas trip for my partner. To be honest I didn’t want to go. At all. But it was important to him. Now I am just overwhelmed and I can’t seem to get out of bed today. I’ve been awake for hours and I think I’m having caffeine withdrawal as my head is pounding. So I’m going to kick myself out of the bed and make a coffee. Maybe the act of doing that will dry the tears and the coffee will help the head.... So much love to you ❤️❤️❤️
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
Willow and Ardy and Delilah and anyone else who is struggling today- my heart goes out to you.
I woke up feeling very ungrounded and irritable. I flew off the handle about packing tape this morning and ended up crying in a miserable puddle of my own tears in the dining room (the kids were in the basement.) Well they both heard me and came up and hugged me. As much as it warmed my heart, the last thing I want is them to have memories of how emotionally unstable their mother was. I sometimes think they will grow up and tell their friends that their mom had "mental health issues" the way some of my friends refer to their parents.
It's true though- Depression, addiction, mood swings- I mean I am working on feeling and being better but some days I am still a roller coaster of emotions. I just want it to end. I want to be healed.
Going to my monthly Reiki share in an hour. I can't wait to give and receive the healing I so desperately need. I actually had a chance to offer Reiki to someone today (at my son's preschool) and I didn't even think about it until after I left. Then I was beating myself up about it for hours. One day it will come naturally...
I woke up feeling very ungrounded and irritable. I flew off the handle about packing tape this morning and ended up crying in a miserable puddle of my own tears in the dining room (the kids were in the basement.) Well they both heard me and came up and hugged me. As much as it warmed my heart, the last thing I want is them to have memories of how emotionally unstable their mother was. I sometimes think they will grow up and tell their friends that their mom had "mental health issues" the way some of my friends refer to their parents.
It's true though- Depression, addiction, mood swings- I mean I am working on feeling and being better but some days I am still a roller coaster of emotions. I just want it to end. I want to be healed.
Going to my monthly Reiki share in an hour. I can't wait to give and receive the healing I so desperately need. I actually had a chance to offer Reiki to someone today (at my son's preschool) and I didn't even think about it until after I left. Then I was beating myself up about it for hours. One day it will come naturally...
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: GA
Posts: 700
Originally Posted by Willow68
Thanks Dee 
Thanks Suze and Badger ❤️ It’s been a crazy roller coaster journey since I stopped drinking in May. I honestly didn’t think I’d make it through the silly season without drinking, but having lost Mum and Dad I couldn’t bear the thought of letting them down. I feel I owed it to them, to stay sober and present, for this first Christmas without them, (especially to Mum who waited till my monumental day 100 before heading off on her journey to Heaven). I’m not usually a church goer, but I took great comfort in going to church on Christmas morning and lighting candles for them both. I felt closer to them being sober than I could have if I’d been drinking. And I’m so glad to start the New Year sober. Now that I’m home I can fully see how challenging these last weeks, actually months have been. But I feel I’ve turned a corner. I still miss them like crazy and my life will never be the same, but I’m so grateful that I’m doing it sober. It doesn’t seem like sobriety is s burden, and I don’t feel like I’m missing out. I have more clarity, even though it is swathed in moments of stark sadness. I have occasional moments of lightness, especially when surrounded by nature. They are fleeting, but by seeking out nature, I intend to bring those moments into my life more often. I will get there. One day at a time.
Thank you all here on SR for being here ❤️❤️❤️
Thanks Suze and Badger ❤️ It’s been a crazy roller coaster journey since I stopped drinking in May. I honestly didn’t think I’d make it through the silly season without drinking, but having lost Mum and Dad I couldn’t bear the thought of letting them down. I feel I owed it to them, to stay sober and present, for this first Christmas without them, (especially to Mum who waited till my monumental day 100 before heading off on her journey to Heaven). I’m not usually a church goer, but I took great comfort in going to church on Christmas morning and lighting candles for them both. I felt closer to them being sober than I could have if I’d been drinking. And I’m so glad to start the New Year sober. Now that I’m home I can fully see how challenging these last weeks, actually months have been. But I feel I’ve turned a corner. I still miss them like crazy and my life will never be the same, but I’m so grateful that I’m doing it sober. It doesn’t seem like sobriety is s burden, and I don’t feel like I’m missing out. I have more clarity, even though it is swathed in moments of stark sadness. I have occasional moments of lightness, especially when surrounded by nature. They are fleeting, but by seeking out nature, I intend to bring those moments into my life more often. I will get there. One day at a time.
Thank you all here on SR for being here ❤️❤️❤️
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: AZ
Posts: 1,344
Originally Posted by Chaisson
Checking in for another 24 please. Today is one of those winter days to appreciate in terms of DC weather - blue sunny clear sky yet cold and windy, quite a break from the often gray gloom this time of year.
Well, wifey and daughters have flown off for a long weekend out of town. In the past the the alarms & flashing lights would have sounded as yippie ki yay em effer time would have commenced with heavy unabashed drinking. Not interested in even the thought of it this weekend, and it's nice to get back into this kind of headspace.
Wishing all a great productive day.
Well, wifey and daughters have flown off for a long weekend out of town. In the past the the alarms & flashing lights would have sounded as yippie ki yay em effer time would have commenced with heavy unabashed drinking. Not interested in even the thought of it this weekend, and it's nice to get back into this kind of headspace.
Wishing all a great productive day.
That has been the hardest situation in which to stay sober. It probably took several months to go through an alone evening and not think about drinking. I’m glad you’re not tempted. It’s so not worth it. Stay strong!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 28,801
Originally Posted by Willow68
Struggling with sadness/depression/grief or something like that yesterday and today, just feeling very flat and down, and missing my Mum 
but I’m in for 24 please. I know it comes in waves, and I just have to ride it out.
Thanks everyone for being here ❤️
but I’m in for 24 please. I know it comes in waves, and I just have to ride it out.Thanks everyone for being here ❤️
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 28,801
Originally Posted by ardy
hi all I am here. Please God Hear my Prayer...
I am ok.. take care of my Mom in NC please she is sick so bad.
at 89 years of age the damp and cold of NC in that house is just not a good thing.. Please God....
I am in for another 24 hours just ardy
I am ok.. take care of my Mom in NC please she is sick so bad.
at 89 years of age the damp and cold of NC in that house is just not a good thing.. Please God....
I am in for another 24 hours just ardy
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 28,801
Originally Posted by Willow68
I think I’m not used to feeling anything much. I drank for 35 years, since I was 15. I guess I numbed out all the hard things with alcohol. Now I’m experiencing the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with, and the intense raw emotion is sometimes so overwhelming. I think after having to suppress my grief the last few weeks of being in ongoing social situations, now means that as I’m alone now, all the pent up grief is pouring out. And I’m getting a headache. I really need to make myself get up out of bed and make myself a coffee.
Thank you Calmerwaters
❤️
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 28,801
Originally Posted by Willow68
Thank you beautiful ❤️ I just can’t seem to stop crying today. The tears are just pouring out, I can barely see as I type this. You’re right, I did the Christmas trip for my partner. To be honest I didn’t want to go. At all. But it was important to him. Now I am just overwhelmed and I can’t seem to get out of bed today. I’ve been awake for hours and I think I’m having caffeine withdrawal as my head is pounding. So I’m going to kick myself out of the bed and make a coffee. Maybe the act of doing that will dry the tears and the coffee will help the head.... So much love to you ❤️❤️❤️
❤️ I just can’t seem to stop crying today. The tears are just pouring out, I can barely see as I type this. You’re right, I did the Christmas trip for my partner. To be honest I didn’t want to go. At all. But it was important to him. Now I am just overwhelmed and I can’t seem to get out of bed today. I’ve been awake for hours and I think I’m having caffeine withdrawal as my head is pounding. So I’m going to kick myself out of the bed and make a coffee. Maybe the act of doing that will dry the tears and the coffee will help the head.... So much love to you ❤️❤️❤️
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 28,801
Originally Posted by Sunflowerlife
Willow and Ardy and Delilah and anyone else who is struggling today- my heart goes out to you.
I woke up feeling very ungrounded and irritable. I flew off the handle about packing tape this morning and ended up crying in a miserable puddle of my own tears in the dining room (the kids were in the basement.) Well they both heard me and came up and hugged me. As much as it warmed my heart, the last thing I want is them to have memories of how emotionally unstable their mother was. I sometimes think they will grow up and tell their friends that their mom had "mental health issues" the way some of my friends refer to their parents.
It's true though- Depression, addiction, mood swings- I mean I am working on feeling and being better but some days I am still a roller coaster of emotions. I just want it to end. I want to be healed.
Going to my monthly Reiki share in an hour. I can't wait to give and receive the healing I so desperately need. I actually had a chance to offer Reiki to someone today (at my son's preschool) and I didn't even think about it until after I left. Then I was beating myself up about it for hours. One day it will come naturally...
I woke up feeling very ungrounded and irritable. I flew off the handle about packing tape this morning and ended up crying in a miserable puddle of my own tears in the dining room (the kids were in the basement.) Well they both heard me and came up and hugged me. As much as it warmed my heart, the last thing I want is them to have memories of how emotionally unstable their mother was. I sometimes think they will grow up and tell their friends that their mom had "mental health issues" the way some of my friends refer to their parents.
It's true though- Depression, addiction, mood swings- I mean I am working on feeling and being better but some days I am still a roller coaster of emotions. I just want it to end. I want to be healed.
Going to my monthly Reiki share in an hour. I can't wait to give and receive the healing I so desperately need. I actually had a chance to offer Reiki to someone today (at my son's preschool) and I didn't even think about it until after I left. Then I was beating myself up about it for hours. One day it will come naturally...
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: GA
Posts: 700
Originally Posted by venuscat
Alex honey what's happening????
Sending so much love. ❤️❤️
Sending so much love.
❤️❤️
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