24 Hour Recovery Connections Part 426
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,478
Originally Posted by Sunflowerlife 
Thank you sweetie. I felt it last night when we were all gathered at my parent's house. I just felt like I am not doing enough- I haven't accomplished enough. I wish I was more established, with a career and making more money, you know? Being around my family makes me feel like I am not good enough. But it's not them, it's me. I don't feel good enough.
I wish I had not have wasted 25 years of my life drugging and drinking. I could have made so much more of my life.
I have been struggling with food a lot this week too. I am considering seeing a psychiatric nurse to see if I can try a medication. I just can't do this alone.
I wish I had not have wasted 25 years of my life drugging and drinking. I could have made so much more of my life.
I have been struggling with food a lot this week too. I am considering seeing a psychiatric nurse to see if I can try a medication. I just can't do this alone.
It can be intimidating....it is in mine, anyway. There is a lot of time to do it all....and you can, and you will.
With more maturity and peace than you would have if you were younger.
It will be different than you planned....it might even be better.
More love.
♥♥
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 508
Originally Posted by venuscat
YES....big time.
I was sober for about a year and a half and relapsed hard in 2014....that withdrawal and recovery was not at all easy. I was scared....after 14 days I was also fuzzy, still couldn't see that clearly and I was not well.
But wow.....by day 21, it was like a miracle.
I figured the damage I had done just took its toll on my body, and well, it did. This disease is progressive....it most definitely is for me....and I am just grateful I got all of my faculties back. Thank God.
Keep looking after yourself, babying yourself as much as possible right now....lots of sleep, rest, good food..... it will get better every single day. ♥
However.....if you have a nice doctor and you are comfortable, it might not hurt to plan a visit.
I was sober for about a year and a half and relapsed hard in 2014....that withdrawal and recovery was not at all easy. I was scared....after 14 days I was also fuzzy, still couldn't see that clearly and I was not well.
But wow.....by day 21, it was like a miracle.
I figured the damage I had done just took its toll on my body, and well, it did. This disease is progressive....it most definitely is for me....and I am just grateful I got all of my faculties back. Thank God.
Keep looking after yourself, babying yourself as much as possible right now....lots of sleep, rest, good food..... it will get better every single day.
♥However.....if you have a nice doctor and you are comfortable, it might not hurt to plan a visit.
Thanks again for all the support and you are an inspiration.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 508
Originally Posted by Sunflowerlife
Hi H379. I found early sobriety very challenging in terms of my emotions and my state of mind. I would say the first 8 months to a 1 year I had lots of ups and downs. I'm not sure about the confusion but I imagine that early sobriety is different for all of us.
Try to go with the feelings rather than fight them, and remember your purpose and that this suffering is temporary. You are doing a great job and one day this will all feel more balanced.
Try to go with the feelings rather than fight them, and remember your purpose and that this suffering is temporary. You are doing a great job and one day this will all feel more balanced.
I appreciate your support. Thanks!
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 2,256
Happy birthday Abcowboy and huge congratulations on 4 years. It's so good to hear from you.... I miss your daily quotes. .. I'm so happy you're doing well xx
So, a couple of days ago I posted about people not liking my posts and it got me thinking about why it bothers me. I started wondering what it means. What would it mean if no one thanked me for my posts? To me, it would mean that I don't fit in... that no one likes me. Taking it one step further, what would it mean if no one likes me? Again, to me this would mean that I'm unlikeable. ... worse that that, it means I'm not worthy of being liked. And there it is. The insecurity that underpins my messed up thinking.
I don't need to go to a psychiatrist to work out where the insecurity comes from. My mum always told me how disappointed she was when I was born a girl. She already had a girl, she wanted a boy. She expected to have a boy and I was a bit of a disappointment, well... a lot of a disappointment. Growing up and feeling disliked for who I am and for something I can not change messed with my mind and this insecurity about being unlikeable/unworthy took root. And it's a deeply entrenched insecurity but it's not hidden anymore. Thanks to this thread, it's out in the open and now that I see it, I can hopefully start to deal with it. And I'm not looking back at the past in anger.... I don't do that anymore. My mum held her views because of her own deep rooted insecurities, I see that now. I got no business or interest in feeling sorry for myself or feeling angry about stuff that happened in the past. It's useful to revisit the past to try to understand why I feel the way I do today but other than that .... I just want to look forward. I owe it to myself and to my children to free myself from this insecurity because it's not serving me well.
Sunflowerlife ... when you feel like you haven't accomplished enough, maybe ask yourself 'what would it mean....' Imagine the worst case scenario.... for me it would go something like this ....
What would it mean if my family think I haven't accomplished enough? It means they think I'm a loser. What would it mean if they think I'm a loser? It means I'm a waste of space, don't fit it ... not worthy to be part of the family. Doesn't take long to uncover my core insecurity of not being worthy. For me, exposing the insecurity behind my self-critical thinking is the first step towards self-compassion.
Being human is so complicated sometimes. Thank goodness we're allowed to make mistakes ... so happy to be on this path with you all. 24 more please xxx
So, a couple of days ago I posted about people not liking my posts and it got me thinking about why it bothers me. I started wondering what it means. What would it mean if no one thanked me for my posts? To me, it would mean that I don't fit in... that no one likes me. Taking it one step further, what would it mean if no one likes me? Again, to me this would mean that I'm unlikeable. ... worse that that, it means I'm not worthy of being liked. And there it is. The insecurity that underpins my messed up thinking.
I don't need to go to a psychiatrist to work out where the insecurity comes from. My mum always told me how disappointed she was when I was born a girl. She already had a girl, she wanted a boy. She expected to have a boy and I was a bit of a disappointment, well... a lot of a disappointment. Growing up and feeling disliked for who I am and for something I can not change messed with my mind and this insecurity about being unlikeable/unworthy took root. And it's a deeply entrenched insecurity but it's not hidden anymore. Thanks to this thread, it's out in the open and now that I see it, I can hopefully start to deal with it. And I'm not looking back at the past in anger.... I don't do that anymore. My mum held her views because of her own deep rooted insecurities, I see that now. I got no business or interest in feeling sorry for myself or feeling angry about stuff that happened in the past. It's useful to revisit the past to try to understand why I feel the way I do today but other than that .... I just want to look forward. I owe it to myself and to my children to free myself from this insecurity because it's not serving me well.
Sunflowerlife ... when you feel like you haven't accomplished enough, maybe ask yourself 'what would it mean....' Imagine the worst case scenario.... for me it would go something like this ....
What would it mean if my family think I haven't accomplished enough? It means they think I'm a loser. What would it mean if they think I'm a loser? It means I'm a waste of space, don't fit it ... not worthy to be part of the family. Doesn't take long to uncover my core insecurity of not being worthy. For me, exposing the insecurity behind my self-critical thinking is the first step towards self-compassion.
Being human is so complicated sometimes. Thank goodness we're allowed to make mistakes ... so happy to be on this path with you all. 24 more please xxx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 4,553
Originally Posted by Sunflowerlife
Me too Jo. I hope we both feel better. I am going to take this energy and transmute it to productivity- going to go clean/purge the basement and put away Christmas stuff. Is there a way you can take the energy you are feeling and channel it for your greater good?
xoxo
I found this and thought I would share. We don't have to be victims of our emotions:
"When pain comes up, the most important rule is: Don’t fight it, don’t blame anyone or yourself but just accept this as a necessary part of your healing and be grateful for the release. This will transmute the low fear frequencies into high love frequencies quickly. Don’t identify with it. WE ARE NOT OUR EMOTIONS, these are just energies we are experiencing. They do not define who we are. So accept them, embrace them and then let them go. And that is done by acting out the emotion. If you feel sad, cry, if you feel angry scream and hit a pillow, go running etc. whatever helps you to get it out of your system. Follow what your body and system wants you to do and feels like doing in that moment. You are guided perfectly – also in dealing with the pain. In those challenging and painful situations, tell yourself, that this too shall pass."
xoxo
I found this and thought I would share. We don't have to be victims of our emotions:
"When pain comes up, the most important rule is: Don’t fight it, don’t blame anyone or yourself but just accept this as a necessary part of your healing and be grateful for the release. This will transmute the low fear frequencies into high love frequencies quickly. Don’t identify with it. WE ARE NOT OUR EMOTIONS, these are just energies we are experiencing. They do not define who we are. So accept them, embrace them and then let them go. And that is done by acting out the emotion. If you feel sad, cry, if you feel angry scream and hit a pillow, go running etc. whatever helps you to get it out of your system. Follow what your body and system wants you to do and feels like doing in that moment. You are guided perfectly – also in dealing with the pain. In those challenging and painful situations, tell yourself, that this too shall pass."
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Missouri, USA
Posts: 890
Haven’t been popping in here much lately but am alive and well and doing great.
Working without pay until this government shutdown is over. That is a bit unsettling if this continues for much longer.
And KENTON.... if you see this, we LOVE your posts! I think you are a great storyteller and Funny too.
24 More is the Plan of the Day!
Working without pay until this government shutdown is over. That is a bit unsettling if this continues for much longer.
And KENTON.... if you see this, we LOVE your posts! I think you are a great storyteller and Funny too.
24 More is the Plan of the Day!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
9:58 am in California end checking in for another 24. Getting ready to watch the Chargers game with the whole family. I'm a Redskins fan, but they didn't even make it to post season. My kids and husband are Chargers fans, and I am also not a fan of New England, so I will be rooting for them to pull out a win today.
Hope everyone is having a great day.
❤️Delilah
Hope everyone is having a great day.
❤️Delilah
No quitting on yer quit eh!
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 3,874
I haven’t been an avid poster here on SR since I came back mainly because of time issues, but that being said, I remember what my Uncle told me; you have to spend as much time on your recovery as you did drinking if you want to be successful. So I guess I just need to make the time to contribute more here…
I’ll have to get y'all to fill me in on the guidelines for posting on this thread, I do know we don’t “shotgun” here lol. But what is and isn’t acceptable to post? So not knowing that for now, I’ll just post away.
That hit very close to home for me kenton, as I’m sure it does for many of us here. I tend to be a “shoot from the hip” kind of guy, taking a tough love approach to helping others find lasting sobriety. Because of this, a lot of people won’t like what I post, but my posts are meant to help and support, not demean in any way. And like you, I wanted and needed people to “like” me. But “Thanks” and “Likes” are only buttons, it would take me all day just to go through the threads and “Thank” every one of them. I definitely don’t have time for that lol.
Many of us suffer/suffered from self-esteem issues, things that can be traced back to our childhoods, some that might have just occurred in the past week or so. I know when I went to see my counsellor at the beginning of my final quit, I confessed to her that self-esteem was one of my issues. She told me that she couldn’t do anything for me in that regard, self-esteem comes from within, and no amount of praise from ordinary people or professional people alike wouldn’t be able to change how I thought of myself, it had to come from within. The first thing she told me was the old saying, “what other people think of me is none of my business” and how true that is! We can kill ourselves just trying to please others. The second thing she told me, do a pro and con list on myself, how I felt about myself. Don’t put down things that I think how other people view me, but how I view myself as a person. Then she said to focus on my pro’s through daily life and try to improve my cons whenever I had the chance. It was an amazing exercise and one that helped me accept myself for who I am. And it also gave me the chance to work on the areas I know I need improvement on. I still do this even 4 years later!
Give it a try, I’m sure you’ll find that you’re a much better person than you give yourself credit for!
I’ll have to get y'all to fill me in on the guidelines for posting on this thread, I do know we don’t “shotgun” here lol. But what is and isn’t acceptable to post? So not knowing that for now, I’ll just post away.
Originally Posted by kenton
So, a couple of days ago I posted about people not liking my posts and it got me thinking about why it bothers me. I started wondering what it means. What would it mean if no one thanked me for my posts? To me, it would mean that I don't fit in... that no one likes me. Taking it one step further, what would it mean if no one likes me? Again, to me this would mean that I'm unlikeable. ... worse that that, it means I'm not worthy of being liked. And there it is. The insecurity that underpins my messed up thinking.
Many of us suffer/suffered from self-esteem issues, things that can be traced back to our childhoods, some that might have just occurred in the past week or so. I know when I went to see my counsellor at the beginning of my final quit, I confessed to her that self-esteem was one of my issues. She told me that she couldn’t do anything for me in that regard, self-esteem comes from within, and no amount of praise from ordinary people or professional people alike wouldn’t be able to change how I thought of myself, it had to come from within. The first thing she told me was the old saying, “what other people think of me is none of my business” and how true that is! We can kill ourselves just trying to please others. The second thing she told me, do a pro and con list on myself, how I felt about myself. Don’t put down things that I think how other people view me, but how I view myself as a person. Then she said to focus on my pro’s through daily life and try to improve my cons whenever I had the chance. It was an amazing exercise and one that helped me accept myself for who I am. And it also gave me the chance to work on the areas I know I need improvement on. I still do this even 4 years later!
Give it a try, I’m sure you’ll find that you’re a much better person than you give yourself credit for!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
Originally Posted by venuscat
I wasted more years love....and I have been through these same feelings over and over....we both come from very strong and capable families... It can be intimidating....it is in mine, anyway.
There is a lot of time to do it all....and you can, and you will.
With more maturity and peace than you would have if you were younger.
It will be different than you planned....it might even be better.
More love. ♥♥
It can be intimidating....it is in mine, anyway. There is a lot of time to do it all....and you can, and you will.
With more maturity and peace than you would have if you were younger.
It will be different than you planned....it might even be better.
More love.
♥♥
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
Originally Posted by H379
I am trying to acknowledge these feelings and that is reason I shared. Especially to convince myself that this is normal on the path of recovery. With all other stuff going on with my separation, I am proud of my achievements so far in these 14 days of being sober. I don't think anything has felt so good except for my boys.
I appreciate your support. Thanks!
I appreciate your support. Thanks!
I do believe it's normal and I would frequently remind myself in the beginning that the body is going through a LOT of changes once we get sober. Think of all the things it has to adapt to. All your cells are changing over, new neural pathways being formed. Plus other stuff with the liver and other organs I am sure.
Keep doing what you are doing- You are really doing great! And I'm sorry to hear about your separation. That is a lot to be dealing with on top of getting sober. Lean on us as much as you need to and again congrats on 2 weeks!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 28,801
Originally Posted by venuscat
♥ this is a list of everyone who posted their commitment to stay sober in the last
24 hours: 6 pm est ~ 5.59 pm est.
It is awesome to have every single one of you here with us! ♥
1newcreation
anewdaynyc
ardy
atlast9999
aussieblue
awake61
babs1234
badgerden
bandicoot2
barbieken
bluewaters
canadian koala
chaisson
chloerose63
citrus
coldfusion
coco6054
crossyourheart
daisybelle
dee74
delilah1
endoftheday
erfra7
eternalnow
formerbeerlover
gatorman
gilmer ♥♥
goat
goodbyeevan
goose333
guener
h379
hats
hevyn
jack16
joandmelandhan
john65
jsm273
julietuk
kaneda8888
kenton
kevlarsjal2
kris47
least
lilliangish
lilymaz
listae
lostmyoffswitch
lyddie
mags1
minion09
mystified
neoo
nic233
nmd
olivedog
paperbag
phoenixj
purplrks3647
quincy
quitter62
rainman1
rar
red78
redberryjuniper
saskia
soberista
soberleigh
soberwolf
stargazer016
startanew68
stubbs16
sunflower79
sunflowerlife
sweetpeacan
tgirl
thetoddman
thevman31
time2lll60
tomls
travelbug
tynesider22
vanaprastha
venuscat
vinificent
waterox
whopper
wiscsober
willow68
yukonm
zanna
zeppodog
zoeydog
onward together! ♥
♥ rest in peace dearest kathy: We will love you forever. ♥
24 hours: 6 pm est ~ 5.59 pm est.
It is awesome to have every single one of you here with us!
♥1newcreation
anewdaynyc
ardy
atlast9999
aussieblue
awake61
babs1234
badgerden
bandicoot2
barbieken
bluewaters
canadian koala
chaisson
chloerose63
citrus
coldfusion
coco6054
crossyourheart
daisybelle
dee74
delilah1
endoftheday
erfra7
eternalnow
formerbeerlover
gatorman
gilmer ♥♥
goat
goodbyeevan
goose333
guener
h379
hats
hevyn
jack16
joandmelandhan
john65
jsm273
julietuk
kaneda8888
kenton
kevlarsjal2
kris47
least
lilliangish
lilymaz
listae
lostmyoffswitch
lyddie
mags1
minion09
mystified
neoo
nic233
nmd
olivedog
paperbag
phoenixj
purplrks3647
quincy
quitter62
rainman1
rar
red78
redberryjuniper
saskia
soberista
soberleigh
soberwolf
stargazer016
startanew68
stubbs16
sunflower79
sunflowerlife
sweetpeacan
tgirl
thetoddman
thevman31
time2lll60
tomls
travelbug
tynesider22
vanaprastha
venuscat
vinificent
waterox
whopper
wiscsober
willow68
yukonm
zanna
zeppodog
zoeydog
onward together! ♥
♥ rest in peace dearest kathy: We will love you forever. ♥
january 13, 2019
h379 ~ 2 weeks! ♥
h379 ~ 2 weeks! ♥
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
Originally Posted by kenton
Happy birthday Abcowboy and huge congratulations on 4 years. It's so good to hear from you.... I miss your daily quotes. .. I'm so happy you're doing well xx
So, a couple of days ago I posted about people not liking my posts and it got me thinking about why it bothers me. I started wondering what it means. What would it mean if no one thanked me for my posts? To me, it would mean that I don't fit in... that no one likes me. Taking it one step further, what would it mean if no one likes me? Again, to me this would mean that I'm unlikeable. ... worse that that, it means I'm not worthy of being liked. And there it is. The insecurity that underpins my messed up thinking.
I don't need to go to a psychiatrist to work out where the insecurity comes from. My mum always told me how disappointed she was when I was born a girl. She already had a girl, she wanted a boy. She expected to have a boy and I was a bit of a disappointment, well... a lot of a disappointment. Growing up and feeling disliked for who I am and for something I can not change messed with my mind and this insecurity about being unlikeable/unworthy took root. And it's a deeply entrenched insecurity but it's not hidden anymore. Thanks to this thread, it's out in the open and now that I see it, I can hopefully start to deal with it. And I'm not looking back at the past in anger.... I don't do that anymore. My mum held her views because of her own deep rooted insecurities, I see that now. I got no business or interest in feeling sorry for myself or feeling angry about stuff that happened in the past. It's useful to revisit the past to try to understand why I feel the way I do today but other than that .... I just want to look forward. I owe it to myself and to my children to free myself from this insecurity because it's not serving me well.
Sunflowerlife ... when you feel like you haven't accomplished enough, maybe ask yourself 'what would it mean....' Imagine the worst case scenario.... for me it would go something like this ....
What would it mean if my family think I haven't accomplished enough? It means they think I'm a loser. What would it mean if they think I'm a loser? It means I'm a waste of space, don't fit it ... not worthy to be part of the family. Doesn't take long to uncover my core insecurity of not being worthy. For me, exposing the insecurity behind my self-critical thinking is the first step towards self-compassion.
Being human is so complicated sometimes. Thank goodness we're allowed to make mistakes ... so happy to be on this path with you all. 24 more please xxx
So, a couple of days ago I posted about people not liking my posts and it got me thinking about why it bothers me. I started wondering what it means. What would it mean if no one thanked me for my posts? To me, it would mean that I don't fit in... that no one likes me. Taking it one step further, what would it mean if no one likes me? Again, to me this would mean that I'm unlikeable. ... worse that that, it means I'm not worthy of being liked. And there it is. The insecurity that underpins my messed up thinking.
I don't need to go to a psychiatrist to work out where the insecurity comes from. My mum always told me how disappointed she was when I was born a girl. She already had a girl, she wanted a boy. She expected to have a boy and I was a bit of a disappointment, well... a lot of a disappointment. Growing up and feeling disliked for who I am and for something I can not change messed with my mind and this insecurity about being unlikeable/unworthy took root. And it's a deeply entrenched insecurity but it's not hidden anymore. Thanks to this thread, it's out in the open and now that I see it, I can hopefully start to deal with it. And I'm not looking back at the past in anger.... I don't do that anymore. My mum held her views because of her own deep rooted insecurities, I see that now. I got no business or interest in feeling sorry for myself or feeling angry about stuff that happened in the past. It's useful to revisit the past to try to understand why I feel the way I do today but other than that .... I just want to look forward. I owe it to myself and to my children to free myself from this insecurity because it's not serving me well.
Sunflowerlife ... when you feel like you haven't accomplished enough, maybe ask yourself 'what would it mean....' Imagine the worst case scenario.... for me it would go something like this ....
What would it mean if my family think I haven't accomplished enough? It means they think I'm a loser. What would it mean if they think I'm a loser? It means I'm a waste of space, don't fit it ... not worthy to be part of the family. Doesn't take long to uncover my core insecurity of not being worthy. For me, exposing the insecurity behind my self-critical thinking is the first step towards self-compassion.
Being human is so complicated sometimes. Thank goodness we're allowed to make mistakes ... so happy to be on this path with you all. 24 more please xxx
You mentioned not needing to go to a psychiatrist- I don't want to see a doctor over my core issues- I work on that through yoga and meditation, therapy, breathwork, and Reiki. I am going to try medicine so that I can get through more than 7 days without binge eating, something I have been struggling with for 15 years now. If I can just help my brain out while the rest of my work helps my soul, I might be able to do this. I'm really happy that you don't feel the need for outside help or medication. I'm not a fan of meds myself but I don't want to do this anymore and I obviously can't do it alone. It's an avenue I haven't explored in many years and I really need to kick this addiction to sugar. It's destroying me in so many ways and does not allow for the healing to take place. My connection to God cannot exist when I am not taking care of my body (just like we cannot be connected when we are drinking and drugging.)
Anyway, thank you for the suggestion. I will continue to dig deeper and deeper. Awakening is an journey that I am on every single day- I know for a fact that the dark side and depression is a big part of the journey.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 28,801
Lots of good thought provoking emotions being posted today. And some blues and problems dealing with our sobriety. This is to be expected. The most important thing is to know we are all where we are supposed to be for now as long as we put our sobriety first. We never have to do this alone and for that I am forever thankful. Praise be to God and to all my friends here. Hold yourself up to the Light.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,478
Originally Posted by Sunflowerlife
Thank you. I agree and I know it to be true. I just need to get past what I believe is judgement from others. Plus I want to be something great before my parents pass away. I feel like I never made them proud. They don’t even know about my sobriety. I mean they know I don’t drink but I’ve never talked to them about it. Maybe that’s the first step.
I missed what you said before about possibly seeing a psychiatric nurse for medication. I didn't know that was possible. If it is, gosh, why not go and see her/him and try this. At least get another opinion.
What an enlightened idea.
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