Bonniefloyd

I understand you, mechanic; boredom is a big one for me. As drinkers, we suck at coping with anything: sadness, stress, anger, celebrations, any kind of change, boredom. It will take time to learn to cope with all of it. I hope you'll give yourself more time.

Is there anything else you can do to celebrate?

Bonniefloyd

Hey RAL, sorry to hear you're struggling. It's really hard this time of year, but you've made it this far. I know what you mean, one moment I'm thinking I'll never drink again and will never even miss it, then the next moment it's all I can think about.

How about we all just get through today? I know we can at least do that.

Kaily

Ral can you really stop at one two or three? Probably not else you wouldn't be here trying to quit.
I would love to have a few glasses of something then stop but I can't as I am addicted. For me it would quickly lead back to all day everyday drinking.

Themechanic Congrats on your 45 days. I am glad that SO FAR nothing bad has happened due to you drinking. I was like that until I wasn't anymore. Over time a few drinks after work to relax became so much more than I ever imagined it could. I lost control, I wouldn't wish it on anybody.

If everyone else drinks I might as well too.

Themechanic

Kaily, I know I risk being nominated for biggest hypocrite in the universe but I've been reading your posts and I really don't think you should drink

Themechanic

Yeah great, more sugarfree ice-tea but ok fine, I suppose it's only fair...

jimmyJlover

Mechanic - I guess I would just ask yourself;

1) what brought you here in November?
2) how were you feeling when you first started your 45 days?
3) do you want to go back there?

Personally, I try to remind myself those 3 things. Not sure there’s a perfect answer.

jimmyJlover

But yes, I often think of slamming 6 Miller Lites

Bonniefloyd

Bonniefloyd

Themechanic

I hear you JimmyJ I came here because I had a weird feeling near my ribs that I'm pretty sure was my liver. That feeling went away after quiting alcohol.

I opened a thread here on SR and I've re-read that a few times recently, I drank waaaay too much for way too long, I know I can never go back to doing that, at the risk for harming myself. But truth be told I just stopped drinking because I felt I needed to do that. I read a lot of posts on this site and so many folks here talk about all that was lost and their enormous problems that seem insurmountable all related to their drinking and then their inability to control that. It's horrible and humbling to read but to be very fair I don't feel like I'm in the same league. I read folks here quit for a while and after a week, cave in and drink so much they end up in the hospital, true those people really can't ever drink again. Me? I'm not so sure.

I fear by being this honest I'm undermining other people's resolve.

Themechanic

That stuff tastes and smells just like a dishwater liquid, you know the lemony kind

Rd2quit

Themechanic- I have no idea if you should every drink again. I can only answer for myself. Fortunately, I have not yet totally destroyed my life by drinking. I did not drink in the mornings, I drank most days but not everyday, I did not go through withdrawals.

what I was doing, was drinking until I blacked out a couple of times a month. I would be ashamed of my behavior the next day but I would always end up doing it again. This is 100% the reason I quit, however there are many other benifits. I save money, it's a good example for my kids, the depression I thought I had, mostly went away when I quit drinking.

I know 100% if I ever drink again I will get blackout drunk again. I know this because everytime I said I would not do it again, I did it again. Also, now when I want a drink I want to get drunk. Just having two beers does not sound all that appealing to me.

jimmyJlover

Mechanic -

First off, I think anyone would appreciate honesty. Secondly, I don’t think that you are undermining anyone’s resolve. I think people are here for different reasons, that’s the variety of alcohol struggles. It certainly affects different people in various ways. I am a firm believer that each person should evaluate themselves and ask what they want out of life? Not to be told by others what their problems are.

One particular example is quantity. I have read and heard many folks talk about the quantity they drank, liquor versus beer, etc. What affects one may not affect the other. Someone who drinks 6 beers every night, compared to the person who drinks a bottle of vodka every day. It’s not the quantity, it’s if this negatively affects your life or not?

My life isn’t/wasn’t in shambles either, quite the contrary. But it’s how alcohol affected me personally and the daily struggle within. I was tired of it. Maybe I just needed a break, but I can’t answer that now.

I guess it’s a struggle...

Themechanic

How far are you along Jimmy?

ReadyAtLast

I cant do this anymore. I feel so and and guilty. Maybe i'm just not committed enough.

Bonniefloyd

Bonniefloyd

ReadyAtLast

thanks bonnie. off to bed now . maybe ill feel better in the morning. I have had some wine, i'm ashamed and feel guilty.

Dee74

You've been talking yourself and your capacity to be sober down for a while now RAL.

I hope you'll decide to stop doing that tomorrow. To be here on SR, and to remain here when you falter shows a lot of strength and courage

I have no doubt you want to be sober

Do you think you might be depressed, or is it just the Xmas thing that's got you squirrelly?

D

Dee74

I was 100% committed when I came to SR either BreakFree - but I'm glad I stayed.

I saw my story over and over again in other peoples posts, but even more important than that I saw people who were sober and happy - and it convinced me finally that staying sober was the right way to go for me too.

D