Class of May 2018 Part 4
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Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
Whether or not to move your things is a tough question, Free. I've helped move some things across the mountains for somebody else using a Uhaul, but that's not fun nor recommended for the wintertime yourself. And it's not inexpensive, either, with insurance, etc. That being said, there are also probably some things that you want to keep that may be favorites of yours or very expensive to replace.
You could consider having the essential things that you need or want to keep moved and sell the rest. If you can identify what you would be asking the moving company to move for you, can you get an estimate of the partial move to CO and then slowly build up the remaining things when you have your new place and finances in place? Getting some things from local shops would be a nice new beginning. Would your new employer be willing to put in a moving allowance as a one-time compensation option for the new position to give you some assistance?
Moving is stressful, so I would simplify what you intend to bring with you, regardless. I've moved quite a few times in my life, and I am a minimalist, but it's really up to you to determine what of the old you must have and what not. For some things it may be time to consider replacement, such as a sofa, your bed, a TV, a microwave; while others may be things that are too dear to consider not having with you (e.g. artwork, books, memorabilia). Some things are relatively easy to replace, others not. It is tough.
Finally, there is the option of renting a furnished place and storing items for a while, giving some time to think about these questions for a time, but that can end of being pricey overall, too.
You could consider having the essential things that you need or want to keep moved and sell the rest. If you can identify what you would be asking the moving company to move for you, can you get an estimate of the partial move to CO and then slowly build up the remaining things when you have your new place and finances in place? Getting some things from local shops would be a nice new beginning. Would your new employer be willing to put in a moving allowance as a one-time compensation option for the new position to give you some assistance?
Moving is stressful, so I would simplify what you intend to bring with you, regardless. I've moved quite a few times in my life, and I am a minimalist, but it's really up to you to determine what of the old you must have and what not. For some things it may be time to consider replacement, such as a sofa, your bed, a TV, a microwave; while others may be things that are too dear to consider not having with you (e.g. artwork, books, memorabilia). Some things are relatively easy to replace, others not. It is tough.
Finally, there is the option of renting a furnished place and storing items for a while, giving some time to think about these questions for a time, but that can end of being pricey overall, too.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
I do a bit of both Free. I’ve moved heaps of times and I take the precious things like memories and bits that Mum and my sister have given me, family heirloom type stuff and a few favourite pieces of furniture. I sell or give away what I don’t need and buy new ones in my new place . How exciting for you! Scary but let the excitement outweigh the scary 
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 454
Hi guys!!
Great to see ya Mr Wolfie and welcome back!
Free- so many updates. Glad to hear your daughter is getting help that she needs.
Regarding furniture- you can always buy somethings second hand after you move. There are a lot of local buy and sell groups on Facebook where I live. Craigslist. Goodwill. If you have the time and patience you can get some good things for cheap. I recently got two nice barstools for free!!
Hope all is doing well. Jan is treating me good. December was a lot of stress, anxiety, plans and busy busy.
Trying to still deal with overeating. I am now 132 pounds... officially 20 pound weight gain since quitting alcohol. Day 3 of intermittent fasting.
Have a great day guys!
Great to see ya Mr Wolfie and welcome back!
Free- so many updates. Glad to hear your daughter is getting help that she needs.
Regarding furniture- you can always buy somethings second hand after you move. There are a lot of local buy and sell groups on Facebook where I live. Craigslist. Goodwill. If you have the time and patience you can get some good things for cheap. I recently got two nice barstools for free!!
Hope all is doing well. Jan is treating me good. December was a lot of stress, anxiety, plans and busy busy.
Trying to still deal with overeating. I am now 132 pounds... officially 20 pound weight gain since quitting alcohol. Day 3 of intermittent fasting.
Have a great day guys!
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Hi Bumblebee
I think it’s pretty common to overeat after stopping drinking. I decided if I’m still struggling with eating a healthy diet once I hit one year of sobriety, I’ll join some kind of exercise and eating program. At the moment I have ups and downs and good and bad days diet wise. I lost quite a few kilos in the early days but I think grief compounded that as I felt too sick to want to eat. But lately I have had a free for all food wise and have put some weight on (not sure how much....) so I’m trying to get back on track now that I’m home, but there is a LOT of chocolate in the fridge... So I think I will just start afresh next week by not buying any unhealthy foods when I go shopping.....
I think it’s pretty common to overeat after stopping drinking. I decided if I’m still struggling with eating a healthy diet once I hit one year of sobriety, I’ll join some kind of exercise and eating program. At the moment I have ups and downs and good and bad days diet wise. I lost quite a few kilos in the early days but I think grief compounded that as I felt too sick to want to eat. But lately I have had a free for all food wise and have put some weight on (not sure how much....) so I’m trying to get back on track now that I’m home, but there is a LOT of chocolate in the fridge... So I think I will just start afresh next week by not buying any unhealthy foods when I go shopping.....
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
Following a few hours of sleep I am feeling some relief from worry and sadness that was gripping me somewhat. Just some misplaced thinking on my part, I believe, when I have so much going right. Part of it is the financial things I've mentioned, the rest I don't really understand, since I cannot pinpoint what exactly was getting to me. I just have to go with the flow right now, I guess, while doing my part on what I can do to improve things.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Guener do you do any daily exercise or meditation or focused breathing? I find that half an hour in the morning really sets me up to feel more calm. Even a half hour walk, or yoga, or anything physical that requires regulating my breathing to slow deep breaths. So meditation or just simply focussing on breathing works wonders
Having said that, I’m completely out of my own routine after travelling, and I really need to get myself back on track .....
From past experience, anxiety and depression take their roots in my psyche when I don’t pay attention to my breath on a regular basis...
Having said that, I’m completely out of my own routine after travelling, and I really need to get myself back on track .....
From past experience, anxiety and depression take their roots in my psyche when I don’t pay attention to my breath on a regular basis...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
I do try to get outside each day to do some walking, and that helps me feel relaxed. When it's cold and dreary it has less effect on me, though, I'm one of those persons that thrives on sunshine. You remind me, Willow, that breathing is an important part of regular calming time, and it's not just for times of distress, so I'll try to incorporate that into my routine. Afternoons are a little harder for me, when I leave work and my mind is switching gears, so that would be a good time to practice some exercise and breathing, both. Good stuff.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
I received some hopeful news today regarding my finances. Two faculty members that I work with are applying for a grant and have included 10 hrs/week of my time in their budget for a year. It would take some of the stress off of me if it comes through. I am not going to read the idea forward to failure nor to depend upon it alone as a solution, I will continue to look at options. Still, it made me feel good that I was chosen as a potential resource in administering the grant, should it come through.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Struggling with grief today 
I can’t seem to stop crying this morning and I’m getting a headache. I need to get up and make a coffee but I can’t seem to get out of bed .... I know grief comes in waves. I think I’ve been suppressing it because I’ve been constantly in company the last 3 weeks with hardly any time to myself, so now I’m alone it’s just pouring out of me. I’m going to get dehydrated from the tears if I don’t replace them with some fluids soon....
I can’t seem to stop crying this morning and I’m getting a headache. I need to get up and make a coffee but I can’t seem to get out of bed .... I know grief comes in waves. I think I’ve been suppressing it because I’ve been constantly in company the last 3 weeks with hardly any time to myself, so now I’m alone it’s just pouring out of me. I’m going to get dehydrated from the tears if I don’t replace them with some fluids soon....
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Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,339
((((Willow))))))
I’m so sorry that you’re having a rough time. But you are right, getting it out and letting your feelings feel will help you get through it. I really don’t know how you did it nonstop for three weeks with people all around you.
I’m so sorry that you’re having a rough time. But you are right, getting it out and letting your feelings feel will help you get through it. I really don’t know how you did it nonstop for three weeks with people all around you.
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Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
Willow, everybody experiences grief in their own way, and when it comes it takes control over emotions as a primary expression. I'm feeling for you and know it is hard to bear and cannot imagine precisely how the burden is weighing upon you. All I can say is that I hope that it will lessen soon.
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Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Thanks guys 
I have been seeing a local psychologist Dee, I’ve had about 7 sessions I think, but I don’t think it’s really helping. She apparently mostly does relationship and couples counselling and I have felt quite frustrated after the sessions. I have been thinking about transferring to another lady who specialises in grief counselling, but I don’t want to offend the one I’m seeing by moving to another one. I know I shouldn’t worry about that, but I can’t seem to shake the guilt. I know that’s really silly and I should just transfer... I went to a public talk on grief and resilience by the grief counsellor and I thought it would probably be very worthwhile seeing her on a one-on-one basis.
I have been seeing a local psychologist Dee, I’ve had about 7 sessions I think, but I don’t think it’s really helping. She apparently mostly does relationship and couples counselling and I have felt quite frustrated after the sessions. I have been thinking about transferring to another lady who specialises in grief counselling, but I don’t want to offend the one I’m seeing by moving to another one. I know I shouldn’t worry about that, but I can’t seem to shake the guilt. I know that’s really silly and I should just transfer... I went to a public talk on grief and resilience by the grief counsellor and I thought it would probably be very worthwhile seeing her on a one-on-one basis.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,339
Willow. That’s great
Sometimes grief can morph into depression, and there’s no guilt or shame taking care of ourselves.
We are taking care of ourselves by being sober, right? We know what we need to be happy and to survive. So too bad for that psychologist to doesn’t get it for you .
Guener, is that set in stone for you then? You work is all set and your worries about finances are a little bit less?
I’m totally freaking out… I have to get up out of bed and I’m just grateful I have nine days left to work on my house. I’m really donating a lot to the nearby thrift store which supports homeless women and children. So I didn’t think I’d have to get a storage unit but I think I’m going to I can’t get rid of everything and start my life all over from scratch.
I’m totally freaking out… I have to get up out of bed and I’m just grateful I have nine days left to work on my house. I’m really donating a lot to the nearby thrift store which supports homeless women and children. So I didn’t think I’d have to get a storage unit but I think I’m going to I can’t get rid of everything and start my life all over from scratch.
Then I’m thinking I should probably get professional movers to move my stuff across the country the stuff that I do want to take.
My ex ABF wanted all /and I gave/ most all of my free time so I never really got to go through my stuff. The house that he talked me into selling sold in three days and I had to be out in three weeks. So I never got to sort out what I no longer wanted/needed.
GotcMy bathroom done yesterday and half of my closet.
Under the sinks, which included going through all the drawers, my medicines, my vitamins, and all of those little samples that you get from hotels. Then I wield the wood cabinets and doors, scrubbed the toilet.
I gave away about 40% of my clothing and trashed about 5%. I’ve lost so much weight from difficulty eating that not much fits anymore.
Today my goal is the rest of my closet and my bedroom. And the guest bedroom.
That means in my room going through an antique armoire and through the linens and I will dust off the draperies and vacuum very well and oil the antique armoire, miniature dresser, and my mission style oak bed frame ,
Sometimes grief can morph into depression, and there’s no guilt or shame taking care of ourselves.
We are taking care of ourselves by being sober, right? We know what we need to be happy and to survive. So too bad for that psychologist to doesn’t get it for you .
Guener, is that set in stone for you then? You work is all set and your worries about finances are a little bit less?
I’m totally freaking out… I have to get up out of bed and I’m just grateful I have nine days left to work on my house. I’m really donating a lot to the nearby thrift store which supports homeless women and children. So I didn’t think I’d have to get a storage unit but I think I’m going to I can’t get rid of everything and start my life all over from scratch.
I’m totally freaking out… I have to get up out of bed and I’m just grateful I have nine days left to work on my house. I’m really donating a lot to the nearby thrift store which supports homeless women and children. So I didn’t think I’d have to get a storage unit but I think I’m going to I can’t get rid of everything and start my life all over from scratch.
Then I’m thinking I should probably get professional movers to move my stuff across the country the stuff that I do want to take.
My ex ABF wanted all /and I gave/ most all of my free time so I never really got to go through my stuff. The house that he talked me into selling sold in three days and I had to be out in three weeks. So I never got to sort out what I no longer wanted/needed.
GotcMy bathroom done yesterday and half of my closet.
Under the sinks, which included going through all the drawers, my medicines, my vitamins, and all of those little samples that you get from hotels. Then I wield the wood cabinets and doors, scrubbed the toilet.
I gave away about 40% of my clothing and trashed about 5%. I’ve lost so much weight from difficulty eating that not much fits anymore.
Today my goal is the rest of my closet and my bedroom. And the guest bedroom.
That means in my room going through an antique armoire and through the linens and I will dust off the draperies and vacuum very well and oil the antique armoire, miniature dresser, and my mission style oak bed frame ,
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