Class of May 2018 Part 4 - Page 22 - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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Old 03-23-2019, 02:26 PM   #421 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Willow68 View Post
Have a lovely weekend everyone
Thanks Willow, you too!
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Old 03-24-2019, 02:08 PM   #422 (permalink)
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Another sober weekend done and dusted. I ate too much sugar this weekend (seems to be a bit of a pattern emerging...) but despite a few AV moments I didnít drink. Iím not sure exactly why but the AV has definitely been a bit stronger recently, and changing itís tactics slightly. Itís been trying to convince me that drinking isnít as bad as Iíve made it out to be. I think I really need to do some more work on this, because I know how bad it was. I think that with time, the awfulness has faded a bit in my memory, so Iím going to do some reading and remind myself of those dark days. I really am enjoying being sober and donít want to go back to that awful cycle of drinking and hangovers
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Old 03-24-2019, 02:54 PM   #423 (permalink)
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I hear you, Willow, and my AV may be talking to yours, because I have had some moments that have been cluttered by thinking that drinking wouldn't be all that awful if I didn't do it like I used to. Remembering how ill it made me along with all the other stuff helps, but it's disconcerting to have to go back to having that kind of feeling. I'm so not going to pick up today, and I'll just keep that going as long as I'm hearing those whispers.
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Old 03-24-2019, 07:00 PM   #424 (permalink)
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Oh my goodness! My AV has been talking to me too! What the heck is the deal? Is this the one year stretch where we start romanticizing and forgetting? So today I had a great day I drove to a town 100 miles away where my landlady is moving to and I also met a man that I met online who lives in a ski resort town and he does not drink at all. He seemed very nice and we talked for about four hours. Tonight when I got home I looked at a video or two that I made an early sobriety re-counting some of the horrors.

On May 5, 2018, I made a video because I was four days sober at that time and I recounted it the night before I put tiny little bottles of booze in my purse and I told the kids I was going to the store. But I was really intending was to drink them in the parking lot and then come home so they wouldnít know what I was doing. And only by the grace of God I put them back and I gave them away the next day and I did not drink. Unfortunately I did drink about 18 May because my boyfriend came over and offered me wine and I partook of it . Before I knew it and we could go and buy where i drink almost a bottle of wine every day.

And then I actually did it. I went three days sober and then another four days drinking and then I stopped on May 28.

And one of my early videos on May 5 I said my goals are ďto love myself, to respect my body and to be free of the chains of addiction and I will get there I know itď

😍

Good review
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Old 03-25-2019, 11:39 AM   #425 (permalink)
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I'm running like a hamster on a wheel today. Home for lunch, I have resolved to wait out my email chiming at me until I go back to the office. It's probably going to be like this for a few weeks. I will try to keep my stress in check and to watch out for the AV saying it would be relaxing or whatever to do something stupid.

It's gorgeous outside, so my spirits are pretty good with it being warmer and bright and sunny.
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Old 03-25-2019, 05:00 PM   #426 (permalink)
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The AV has nothing useful to contribute guys - ignore it, shut it down

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Old 03-27-2019, 01:17 PM   #427 (permalink)
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Thanks Dee. I keep trying to shut the AV down. Some days itís louder and more persistent. We just have to keep on ignoring it. One day at a time. I have a really busy day today. Actually this week has been really busy .... Itís 6.15am and I need to get cracking. See you all later. Hang in there everyone, we can do this.
Together weíre stronger
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Old 03-27-2019, 02:53 PM   #428 (permalink)
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Ugh. Feeling ugh.

For almost two full weeks now, I have been taking care of sick kids, dog and husband.

my oldest daughter got the flu first. And as soon as she felt better, my younger daughter got it. The flu lasts a good week. I almost wish they were sick at the same time... so the girls would both be healthy.

then my dog got sick, puked in the carpet. He is better now. But that was the last thing I wanted to wake up and clean.

then my husband has been also sick, on and off the entire time. But when he doesnít feel well, he still works. Twice in the past week he came home from work shaking and puking.

and I am sorry for any men out there... but I feel like guys are so helpless when he is sick. Yeh, he will go to work. But when he is home, he will just text me his needs while laying in bed.

i secretly want to get sick so someone will take care of me.

Actaully I donít feel great at all. But I canít just lay in bed all day in my day off. Cause I donít have a day off. I am responsible for my girls 24 hours a day. even if I am sleeing in the middle of the night.

Sorry for my negative rant. Just feeling unappreciated and exhausted lately so
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Old 03-27-2019, 05:10 PM   #429 (permalink)
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My wife has the opposite problem Bumblkebee - she can't get me to rest and stay in bed

I hope everyone gets well soon
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Old 03-28-2019, 04:15 AM   #430 (permalink)
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I hope that your family smothers you in great hugs and kisses, once they are all well, to thank you for taking care of them through the flu season, Bumblebee. Mothers do get taken for granted for just making things right again, so I hope that you are recognized as being the superhero through all of this. You deserve that recognition.
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Old 03-28-2019, 05:21 PM   #431 (permalink)
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Hi everyone! I hope things are better from when I read them here . Bumble, Guener and willow for sure. Iím like you Dee I canít be stopped usually.

Last two days of work were a little bit brutal, I knew that was coming I had someone precepting me that was a little bit nasty, but you know itís what you get out of it that counts. I had other people that were teaching me that were just fine. So the one lady thinks they should already know it by now and other people tell me it takes a year. Itís very very different and difficult Nursing.

Last two days of work were a little bit brutal, I knew that was coming I had someone precepting me that was a little bit nasty, but you know itís what you get out of it that counts. I had other people that were teaching me that were just fine. So the one lady thinks they should already know it by now and other people tell me it takes a year. Itís very very different and difficult Nursing.

Regarding my living situation I think I let everyone know that Iím just renting a room. The Land lady here wants me to rent her whole house starting June 1, and I donít need a whole house but I just saw another rental place and everything here is so expensive for just really terrible living quarters. I think when she comes back in town tonight I will pay her for April in cash and then go ahead and sign some type of an agreement with her until next year March 1 .

I met someone online who does not drink and we met for lunch last Sunday, and he seems very nice. He is quite spiritual and loves the outdoors like I do. He also has a love of different rocks like I doÖÖ I know, that is really weird but itís nice to have someone else related to that same thing.

Regarding the alcohol addictionÖ Today is my 10 month anniversary and I can hardly believe it! I just called my sister and her speech was slurred. This is the sister that was going through sobriety with me. She confessed that she is drinking again and she said itís just when everyoneís states, that you just canít control it ó-and you canít just have one ó-and she is sad.

So now the obsession with having a drink not having a dream thinking about drinking is all back in her head every minute of the day. I do not envy her.

Such a nice clear warning to squash that AV right away.

I am so tickled pink to potentially have a friend who does not drink. 😍. A male friend at that.

More later, my aMAYzing class❤️❤️❤️
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Old 03-28-2019, 05:57 PM   #432 (permalink)
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Congratulations on your 10 months Free

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Old 03-28-2019, 06:55 PM   #433 (permalink)
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So, Free, you are making your way in your new setting with determination and skillful adjustment to things. We have a lot of rocks here that maybe I should appreciate more, as they can be quite beautiful, you're right. I probably would do the same thing you are considering about your housing situation as a means to get me some time to be housed with confidence that doesn't lock one in for a very long time. All told, and including your setting in a new job, I would have to say that things are going excellent for you. It doesn't hurt to have a new friend, either. And, TEN months!!!

Things are pretty high pressure on some days, with lulls that leave me worrying if I'm checking all the boxes on what needs to be done at work. In a couple of weeks it all comes to a head with our conference. I am hoping that I will be ready and all will go smoothly.

My AV isn't bothering me like it was some days ago, but with the stress I am trying to be watchful for it and to put it down promptly. With all the events of the past month I'm not surprised it has come up, and I am also working on being as calm and composed as possible. No stinking thinking!
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Old 03-28-2019, 08:47 PM   #434 (permalink)
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Guener, you should really be proud of yourself for handling all the HUGE life stressors as you have , with mindful sobriety. You are mindful to take care of yourself and be self-aware, at the same time getting 100% of yourself to your work and your household and taking care of yourself with your medications and counseling .

I remember when I heard about my dad dying in 1991, I went out and bought a bottle of whatever you make with some 7-Up, and drank half the bottle. It didnít bring my dad back, and only delayed my grieving process.

Thanks for the kudos, itís been so tough this week with my preceptor gone. 😬😳

Told my landlady tonight Iíll be renting from her. We are both happy.

Sweet dreams,

Hereís from my walks the past week:






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Old 03-29-2019, 02:49 AM   #435 (permalink)
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Awesome photos Free! Thanks for sharing, it looks amazing there. I’m glad you’re getting your living place sorted out. You’re doing amazingly well, starting your life over in a new place, and a new sober friend too! How exciting ❤️and congratulations on 10 months!

Bumblebee I really hope you’re getting thoroughly spoiled by now, because you really deserve to be! I hope everyone is looking after you ❤️

Guener you’re doing so well. I’m sure the conference will go off really well, you sound so dedicated and organised to me. I hope you’re taking time for yourself, time to breathe, relax, and play with the kitties ❤️

Dee I reckon your wife is probably right, trying to get you to take it easier. We all need a break sometimes, especially when we’re not well

I’ve been super busy with work and life in general. It’s been absolutely nuts! Thank goodness it’s the weekend! Have a great weekend everyone
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Old 03-29-2019, 03:23 AM   #436 (permalink)
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Congratulations on your 10 months Free, fantastic! Lovely photos too.

What with Willow's beach photos and your landscapes I'm quite jealous!

Hi Willow, Guener, Bumble, Dee and everyone else here in this group.
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Old 03-29-2019, 05:00 AM   #437 (permalink)
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Such lovely vistas and colors are in those pictures, Free. No wonder you were attracted to the place, a wonderful setting to take residence. It must be great to take hikes through such scenery.

Yes, the weekend is nigh upon us, and it will be a wonderful time to rest up. I already have plans to visit my Mom and cook a meal with her, some time to comfort one another. Whatever you all have on your dockets for the time, I hope it will bring you happiness.

My kittens are now young adults and cause me to go "Ooomph" when they jump on me, LOL.
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Old 03-31-2019, 12:15 PM   #438 (permalink)
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Sitting at home watching college basketball, I'm having a pretty nice Sunday afternoon. No AV to bother me, my cats to play with, it's a nice repast. I will be looking forward to a good night of sleep tonight and a productive day tomorrow with plenty of interesting things to do.
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Old 03-31-2019, 05:40 PM   #439 (permalink)
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Good Guener!

I had a great time meeting with the fellow in steamboat.

Nervous about tomorrow. Just a lot to learn😳
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Old 04-01-2019, 01:45 AM   #440 (permalink)
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It's April Fools Day, and it's a day of remembrance for me, as it was on that day that I had a DUI that really put my world into a tailspin four years ago. It is hard to believe that it has been that long since that day and that it takes such a long time to get set into a place of recovery instead of where I was at the time. I am grateful for where I am now vs. then.

I'm a little anxious about Monday, too, Free. There's so much to be done in the next couple of weeks ahead. On Friday evening I received an email calling me to serve on a jury tomorrow (Tuesday). You never know how long those are going to be. Since it may interfere with my conference executing responsibilities I am going to see if work can give me a letter to get me out of it, to get my service deferred until later, since I'm the point person for making sure everything happens from now and through the conference. Otherwise, we'll have to work out another solution for things getting done.

That possibility of a grant coming in to some faculty members I work with has moved to the interview stage for them, so that iron is still in the fire for additional future income/work for me. I am not counting flowers yet, but I'm hopeful on this front that things are moving along.

Onward ...
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