Class of May 2018 Part 4
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Well the whole of the north of the state where I live has been very badly affected by monsoon rain and flooding, so I’ve been limited in my ability to post. I’m one of the lucky ones, but many people have lost everything 
Thanks Wolfie
yes it’s been a huge challenge losing Mum and Dad so closely and I have been tempted so many times to drink. But I know that would only make things worse. I’m one week off 9 months sober Well done for coming back here, we’re very happy you’re back with us
Guener I’m glad you’re feeling more settled with the low dose medication. I think meds can be useful and in some cases they’re really necessary. I’m on the supplement SAMe and I find it really helps me. I have tried to get off it, but each time I stop taking it, depression starts sneaking back up on me after a few days and I have apathy and no motivation for anything. So I figure I’m just better off staying on it. I don’t get any side effects and it helps keep my mood from plummeting into despair. I’ve had prescription antidepressants in the past but don’t like the side effects. So I’m sticking with my current plan. For now anyway
Free I hope the packing and moving is coming along ok. You’re being so brave, and it will pay off! A fresh start, on your own terms sounds like just what you need. Once you get settled in there, you have a whole new world to explore and enjoy
Great to hear from you Manta and Bumblebee
Hi Dee
Hi anyone else out there I might have missed, John, everyone
Thanks Wolfie
yes it’s been a huge challenge losing Mum and Dad so closely and I have been tempted so many times to drink. But I know that would only make things worse. I’m one week off 9 months sober Well done for coming back here, we’re very happy you’re back with us Guener I’m glad you’re feeling more settled with the low dose medication. I think meds can be useful and in some cases they’re really necessary. I’m on the supplement SAMe and I find it really helps me. I have tried to get off it, but each time I stop taking it, depression starts sneaking back up on me after a few days and I have apathy and no motivation for anything. So I figure I’m just better off staying on it. I don’t get any side effects and it helps keep my mood from plummeting into despair. I’ve had prescription antidepressants in the past but don’t like the side effects. So I’m sticking with my current plan. For now anyway
Free I hope the packing and moving is coming along ok. You’re being so brave, and it will pay off! A fresh start, on your own terms sounds like just what you need. Once you get settled in there, you have a whole new world to explore and enjoy
Great to hear from you Manta and Bumblebee
Hi Dee
Hi anyone else out there I might have missed, John, everyone
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,330
Originally Posted by MantaLady 
Hey there lovely Mayers!
Free, over summer last year I did a full house sort out. I went through every single nook and cranny, every drawer, notepad, paperwork, clothes cupboards. 30 years of things I had collected was tough to go through but I ended up getting rid of 60% of the things in my house and felt so much better for it. One of the hardest was the piles of paperwork and 60+ notepads. I found angry letters to ex's I never sent, diaries and notes to myself that I never acted on, reminders of my drink driving conviction, being ripped off by my ex for a lot of money and the list goes on. I methodically went through it all, piles all over the house and began shredding. It was a weird week as there were so many memories tied up in that paper, things I had forgot, things that should remain in the past and things I needed to remember. When you get through it you will feel so much better! x
Free, over summer last year I did a full house sort out. I went through every single nook and cranny, every drawer, notepad, paperwork, clothes cupboards. 30 years of things I had collected was tough to go through but I ended up getting rid of 60% of the things in my house and felt so much better for it. One of the hardest was the piles of paperwork and 60+ notepads. I found angry letters to ex's I never sent, diaries and notes to myself that I never acted on, reminders of my drink driving conviction, being ripped off by my ex for a lot of money and the list goes on. I methodically went through it all, piles all over the house and began shredding. It was a weird week as there were so many memories tied up in that paper, things I had forgot, things that should remain in the past and things I needed to remember. When you get through it you will feel so much better! x
I remember when you were posting about that Manta!!
Actually been thinking of you while I’ve been going through it. Getting real lot of stuff on Facebook marketplace. Better than I ever thought.
Thanks for the nice thoughts G!
I’ve been posting and bedtime gratitude, because I have a tendency to be negative and anxious and it really does help me to stay focused and verbalize the positives.
Right now I am thankful to be horizontal in my bed before 9 PM
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,330
[[/size] 😂
Originally Posted by guener
hey there, manta. I'm physically down to the minimal stuff right now, but in my head i'm going through the sorting of stuff -- what needs to be kept and what can go. It's quite an exercise. I'm sure that free is happy to receive the encouragement of getting through that process of what follows her to co. Maybe your're done with that already, free?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
I'm having a "battle" at work over an issue that has me concerned that one or two of our VP's are going to be annoyed with me, but I am convinced that I am correct and am standing up for what I think is true. It causes some anxiety for me tonight, but I have to remember that I have done my due diligence on the matter and accept it as such. When all is said and done I could come out looking good for the concerns that I have raised about what has come up, and I just have to accept, too, that it could go the other way. I know what I'm doing.
My Dad goes to have an EEG (brain scan) tomorrow, so I am interested to hear how those results turn out. He had a mild seizure yesterday, so I hope that shows up or at least that there can be some form of treatment for it that will not have too many side-effects. I'll be doing an overnight stay this weekend with my parents to spend some time with them after it pans out.
Keep up the hard work, Free, on getting all that work moving along.
Willow, I'm glad to see you back online a little more recently and hope that your connectivity issues following the floods are resolving.
Thank you to all for being a part of my continuing recovery and for all the insights, support, and the smiles that you bring to my face from each post.
My Dad goes to have an EEG (brain scan) tomorrow, so I am interested to hear how those results turn out. He had a mild seizure yesterday, so I hope that shows up or at least that there can be some form of treatment for it that will not have too many side-effects. I'll be doing an overnight stay this weekend with my parents to spend some time with them after it pans out.
Keep up the hard work, Free, on getting all that work moving along.
Willow, I'm glad to see you back online a little more recently and hope that your connectivity issues following the floods are resolving.
Thank you to all for being a part of my continuing recovery and for all the insights, support, and the smiles that you bring to my face from each post.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Thanks everyone ❤️ It’s good to be back, I’ve missed you guys!
After all of this, I’m grateful for my home, for amazing community spirit and above all I’m grateful for my sobriety. Material things are just possessions. I’m going to have a big clean out and donate it to charity. I’m feeling really unsettled. I waded down the road and took some of my food supplies to an older neighbour previously unknown to me who I heard via the grapevine was isolated and in need. She was quite anxious, shaky and very grateful, and I offered to ring my partner and ask him to pick up some extra groceries for her when the shops reopened as he was able to get to the supermarket in his work vehicle,, but her needs turned out to be only a little food and more cigarettes and alcohol. My partner got them for her (although in rather less quantity than requested as there were shortages in shops due to limited supplies getting through recently, but also because the quantity requested was quite a lot). I don’t know how I feel about it, but it’s not sitting well with me. I wanted to help her, and she was obviously distressed and isolated, but I’m not sure if I did the right thing or not. I have to let it go, but I am not sure if or how I should help her any more...
After all of this, I’m grateful for my home, for amazing community spirit and above all I’m grateful for my sobriety. Material things are just possessions. I’m going to have a big clean out and donate it to charity. I’m feeling really unsettled. I waded down the road and took some of my food supplies to an older neighbour previously unknown to me who I heard via the grapevine was isolated and in need. She was quite anxious, shaky and very grateful, and I offered to ring my partner and ask him to pick up some extra groceries for her when the shops reopened as he was able to get to the supermarket in his work vehicle,, but her needs turned out to be only a little food and more cigarettes and alcohol. My partner got them for her (although in rather less quantity than requested as there were shortages in shops due to limited supplies getting through recently, but also because the quantity requested was quite a lot). I don’t know how I feel about it, but it’s not sitting well with me. I wanted to help her, and she was obviously distressed and isolated, but I’m not sure if I did the right thing or not. I have to let it go, but I am not sure if or how I should help her any more...
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
That is a tough one Willow and I can totally get why you feel conflicted. You did what you thought was best at the time and it came from a place of kindness so don't be hard on yourself. You can't save everyone, and a saying I heard that really resonated with me was "don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm". If engaging with her affects you negatively, even if that is by something as simple as causing you emotional stress or leading you to doubt yourself then put yourself first. We all know ourselves that when it comes to alcohol we all only stopped when we made that decision ourselves, no amount of commentry from anyone else made a jot of difference to us until we were ready.
The serenity prayer is useful in this situation, and one thing I have confidence that you have in bounds right now Willow is the wisdom to know the difference
xx
The serenity prayer is useful in this situation, and one thing I have confidence that you have in bounds right now Willow is the wisdom to know the difference
xx
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Thanks Manta and Free ❤️ She sent me a message yesterday and asked me to get more cigarettes and more alcohol and I said sorry I’m not able to... If it was food or necessary household items like toilet paper etc that would be different, but you guys are right. I need to strengthen my boundaries...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
Willow, I think you have received very good feedback here on what happened, and I agree with it and how you are handling things now.
My Dad's EEG brain scan today came back normal except that things are slower than what typical brain activity would be. That's good news. He needs to become more active, according to the doctor, so we will work on that. My Mom is relieved as well that nothing big came up.
We begin yet another weekend. Let there be no rain for some of us and sunshine in our outlook in any case.
My Dad's EEG brain scan today came back normal except that things are slower than what typical brain activity would be. That's good news. He needs to become more active, according to the doctor, so we will work on that. My Mom is relieved as well that nothing big came up.
We begin yet another weekend. Let there be no rain for some of us and sunshine in our outlook in any case.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 454
Hi guys!
hope you are all doing well.
Willow- you have such a sweet heart, willing to help others in need.
mantra- you provide great words for willow regarding the situation
g- glad to hear the update about your dad. How old is he?
hi free!
just woke up on Saturday morning here. Laying with my 4 year old daughter watching t.v. 😊
dreams still amaze me... especially since I didn’t dream at all while drinking. I’ve had countless dreams where I was drinking, and I wake up wondering if it was real. Those are truly nightmares!
last night I had a new type of dream for me. There was another guy in my dream with an alcohol problem. And I was the sober person, talking to him about my story. It was pretty cool switch in my unconscious brain.
Have a a great weekend my friends. Stay safe, sober and enjoy 😊
hope you are all doing well.
Willow- you have such a sweet heart, willing to help others in need.
mantra- you provide great words for willow regarding the situation
g- glad to hear the update about your dad. How old is he?
hi free!
just woke up on Saturday morning here. Laying with my 4 year old daughter watching t.v. 😊
dreams still amaze me... especially since I didn’t dream at all while drinking. I’ve had countless dreams where I was drinking, and I wake up wondering if it was real. Those are truly nightmares!
last night I had a new type of dream for me. There was another guy in my dream with an alcohol problem. And I was the sober person, talking to him about my story. It was pretty cool switch in my unconscious brain.
Have a a great weekend my friends. Stay safe, sober and enjoy 😊
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Hi Bumblebee
I have crazy dreams too. All sorts of crazy
I think the drinking dreams are a gift. The relief when you realise it’s only a dream is a good lesson as to why we don’t want to drink. That your dreams have shifted to you being a non-drinker and advising the drinker is perhaps because your own mindset is shifting more permanently into a non-drinker I think that’s really awesome
I have crazy dreams too. All sorts of crazy
I think the drinking dreams are a gift. The relief when you realise it’s only a dream is a good lesson as to why we don’t want to drink. That your dreams have shifted to you being a non-drinker and advising the drinker is perhaps because your own mindset is shifting more permanently into a non-drinker
I think that’s really awesome
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
I used to love flying. I loved it because I could drink heaps and I didn’t have to drive. It was perfect drinking time. Now I don’t like it so much. It’s a challenge staying away from the bar and then refusing alcohol on the plane. I was just on a flight with free wine. The AV was excited! Telling me it would be fine to have one lovely wine. I was nearly convinced how lovely it would be as I sat watching the lady next to me having her wine poured into a little plastic cup. The AV was positively drooling. I reminded myself of the consequences of “just one lovely wine “. The consequences would be very unlovely. A second and a third. Then more at the airport. And more on the next plane. And then madly looking for ways to acquire more for the rest of the night, and trying to hide how much I drank from my companions. Waking up with a hangover, despair and guilt. And the cycle would begin all over again 
Nope, nothing lovely about that. So I’m at the airport between flights, drinking coffee. The AV is a liar. I just have to keep reminding myself of the prolonged and unlovely consequences of just one lovely wine.
Nope, nothing lovely about that. So I’m at the airport between flights, drinking coffee. The AV is a liar. I just have to keep reminding myself of the prolonged and unlovely consequences of just one lovely wine.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Originally Posted by Dee74
I knew you'd be ok willow
D
D
Thanks Dee. As a reward to myself, I bought a packet of dark chocolate coated licorice bullets
and I ate the whole packet My next plane is boarding soon and I’m not feeling like I’ll be tempted anymore. I think I’ve managed to beat the AV back into submission for the time being
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
Good thinking and actions against your AV, Willow, you knew what to do to manage the situation. I could write volumes on what flying and alcohol were like for me, but it would be too close to reminiscing to be a good share. I'm sure you will be happy to be away from those circumstances and have some of your time to just be free.
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