Class of May 2018 Part 4
Member
Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: Michigan
Posts: 171
Just wanted to stop in an say congratulations on another sober month. Not sure you guys want a "newbie" around much. I feel I might be a bit out of place.
I fell on my face right out of the gate at day 11 early in January. So much for a triumphant return. I am plugging away though and finished the final 10 days of the month successfully.
I still feel that last May was something of a turning point for me as I wrapped my head around where I was and where I needed to go. So, here I am.
Keep up the amazing work. Only 7 months, 3 weeks to my 8 month mark
I fell on my face right out of the gate at day 11 early in January. So much for a triumphant return. I am plugging away though and finished the final 10 days of the month successfully.
I still feel that last May was something of a turning point for me as I wrapped my head around where I was and where I needed to go. So, here I am.
Keep up the amazing work. Only 7 months, 3 weeks to my 8 month mark
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Hi Wolfie! 
Welcome back! You’re always welcome here
Good on you for getting right back on and keeping trying, that’s what matters. You can do this, and we’re here with support to help you
((((Free)))) same as Guener said, big hugs coming your way. That sounds really daunting! But you will get there somehow. Can you enlist some help? Sending you heaps of support ❤️
Welcome back! You’re always welcome here
Good on you for getting right back on and keeping trying, that’s what matters. You can do this, and we’re here with support to help you
((((Free)))) same as Guener said, big hugs coming your way. That sounds really daunting! But you will get there somehow. Can you enlist some help? Sending you heaps of support ❤️
Member
Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: Michigan
Posts: 171
Thank you Willow.
I hope 2019 is a much better year for you. I am sorry to see all the difficulties you had as your parents passed last year. You did a wonderful job staying the course given your circumstances. You must be zeroing in on 9 months now.
I think I have this figured out this time. Just need to stay the course. My emotional state is much better than it was last spring when I began this process. I was a bit surprised I cracked so easily early in Jan. I just hadn't prepared myself for the withdrawal that comes with the first few weeks.
Have a great day.
I hope 2019 is a much better year for you. I am sorry to see all the difficulties you had as your parents passed last year. You did a wonderful job staying the course given your circumstances. You must be zeroing in on 9 months now.
I think I have this figured out this time. Just need to stay the course. My emotional state is much better than it was last spring when I began this process. I was a bit surprised I cracked so easily early in Jan. I just hadn't prepared myself for the withdrawal that comes with the first few weeks.
Have a great day.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
Hey, Wolfie, as a late-comer to SR I have found so much inspiration from the people here in the May class, I can understand why you've come back to say how it has gone with you. I am glad that you are right back with your sobriety work, and I add my support to you wholeheartedly.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,327
Hi Wolfie!
Glad you’re back and posting!
We all want the same thing? And aren’t we all doing it a moment at a time?
A woman at the check out today was buying a bottle of wine and some guacamole. My AV told me that sounds like a really good evening.
But playing it forward, after the first bottle is gone, I’d be driving drunk to go get another bottle in a town that was still selling it in the late hours. And the next day I would feel like ****, not really so much physically but mentally beat myself up.
And I would wash, rinse, and repeat for goodness knows how long. Days? Weeks? Months? Years?
No thanks! I’m ready to live…free of the chains of addiction.
Free, to be me. The real me.
Blessings everyone and thanks for all the hugs. 😍
Glad you’re back and posting!
We all want the same thing? And aren’t we all doing it a moment at a time?
A woman at the check out today was buying a bottle of wine and some guacamole. My AV told me that sounds like a really good evening.
But playing it forward, after the first bottle is gone, I’d be driving drunk to go get another bottle in a town that was still selling it in the late hours. And the next day I would feel like ****, not really so much physically but mentally beat myself up.
And I would wash, rinse, and repeat for goodness knows how long. Days? Weeks? Months? Years?
No thanks! I’m ready to live…free of the chains of addiction.
Free, to be me. The real me.
Blessings everyone and thanks for all the hugs. 😍
Member
Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: Michigan
Posts: 171
Thanks for the welcome back Guener and Free.
I figure I will post here (where it all began) and in a current group where I am going through many of the same things as others as I exit the early acute withdrawal stage and start settling into the next stage(s).
I found SR the during the last 3-4 days of May last year. I was at my wits' end after trying...relapsing a number of times from mid April-late May. I waited and posted in the June group after I had settled into a determination I felt would take me further than a mere week.
Anyway, thank you again for your support.
I figure I will post here (where it all began) and in a current group where I am going through many of the same things as others as I exit the early acute withdrawal stage and start settling into the next stage(s).
I found SR the during the last 3-4 days of May last year. I was at my wits' end after trying...relapsing a number of times from mid April-late May. I waited and posted in the June group after I had settled into a determination I felt would take me further than a mere week.
Anyway, thank you again for your support.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,327
Keep posting wolfie. It really helps to spend AT LEAST as much time here posting and reading as I did driving to, buying, driving home, and drinking booze every day.
I’ve tapered off a little bit because I am so busy trying to move. But pretty soon I will be in a town ready don’t know anyone and I’m sure I will get hit hard and I’ll be back on here with a vengeance too
😍
I’ve tapered off a little bit because I am so busy trying to move. But pretty soon I will be in a town ready don’t know anyone and I’m sure I will get hit hard and I’ll be back on here with a vengeance too
😍
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
I spent about half an hour thinking about what my life used to be like, when I was very successful and was able to do pretty much everything that I cared to do. All that is now lost, reminiscing. It's not healthy, and it was leading me into some self-pity about my circumstances today.
This is when the idea of acceptance is supposed to fill the space, and it does, to a large degree. I am an alcoholic and I am getting better I think. What I am able to do now is different, and I am presently free of the terrible anguish that I was living in the past. Why this nostalgia crept into my mind, I'm not sure, but I am building myself from the ground up. It just seems hard to simply think that I couldn't have pulled myself out sooner and be done with the thoughts.
So, I'm feeling slightly melancholy this evening. I just have to accept that, too. And sharing it may make it easier to pass.
This is when the idea of acceptance is supposed to fill the space, and it does, to a large degree. I am an alcoholic and I am getting better I think. What I am able to do now is different, and I am presently free of the terrible anguish that I was living in the past. Why this nostalgia crept into my mind, I'm not sure, but I am building myself from the ground up. It just seems hard to simply think that I couldn't have pulled myself out sooner and be done with the thoughts.
So, I'm feeling slightly melancholy this evening. I just have to accept that, too. And sharing it may make it easier to pass.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,327
I think so G
I read a post today from someone that said they are glad that they are an alcoholic, because without that knowledge and experience, they wouldn’t know the sober life that they have today which they really enjoy.
I’m trying to accept the blues and the downers as part of life because I can’t be up all the time. it’s just not the way life goes. We cannot wish we had a better past. We can only make our future brighter by the choices we make today. Choices not only in the direction that we are going to, but in our attitudes and our thought processes.
I was going through lots of paperwork today, in fact it is spread all over my living room and kitchen floor as I lay here getting ready for bed. I emptied a giant box and a three drawer lateral file cabinet.
Lots and lots of memories in that paperwork. My divorce paperwork from five years ago. All the taxes from when I was married. A card that my mom wrote to me over 25 years ago. Pics of my dad. Old jokes on paper. Some cards that my kids made me when they were little. A couple of hand drawn love cards from my husband. Pictures of me and my children from years ago.
In a way, I wish I had made some different choices. And in other ways, I’m glad I am where I am. I’m freaked out about moving and I’m wondering if I am making the right choice.
I burst into tears a lot today. I’m trying to accept that this is normal— A normal part of the grieving process of the end of the chapter.
It is the first time I am making a move to a destination without a man bringing me there.
I have a lot of great things to be thankful for. And I’m going to go post and the bedtime gratitude list right now.
For this thread though I want to let everyone know that I am thankful for you, what you contribute/ share here, and for all of your support.
Blessings.
To brighter thoughts and acceptance of some down times. 🥤
I read a post today from someone that said they are glad that they are an alcoholic, because without that knowledge and experience, they wouldn’t know the sober life that they have today which they really enjoy.
I’m trying to accept the blues and the downers as part of life because I can’t be up all the time. it’s just not the way life goes. We cannot wish we had a better past. We can only make our future brighter by the choices we make today. Choices not only in the direction that we are going to, but in our attitudes and our thought processes.
I was going through lots of paperwork today, in fact it is spread all over my living room and kitchen floor as I lay here getting ready for bed. I emptied a giant box and a three drawer lateral file cabinet.
Lots and lots of memories in that paperwork. My divorce paperwork from five years ago. All the taxes from when I was married. A card that my mom wrote to me over 25 years ago. Pics of my dad. Old jokes on paper. Some cards that my kids made me when they were little. A couple of hand drawn love cards from my husband. Pictures of me and my children from years ago.
In a way, I wish I had made some different choices. And in other ways, I’m glad I am where I am. I’m freaked out about moving and I’m wondering if I am making the right choice.
I burst into tears a lot today. I’m trying to accept that this is normal— A normal part of the grieving process of the end of the chapter.
It is the first time I am making a move to a destination without a man bringing me there.
I have a lot of great things to be thankful for. And I’m going to go post and the bedtime gratitude list right now.
For this thread though I want to let everyone know that I am thankful for you, what you contribute/ share here, and for all of your support.
Blessings.
To brighter thoughts and acceptance of some down times. 🥤
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
Thank you, Free, for a very thoughtful answer back to what I have been feeling tonight. I cannot change the past but have plenty to be thankful for now. No matter how disrupted my life may have been by my choices, I am making new and better ones now. What matters is how I deal with my thoughts, and I am decidedly not going back to the old ways. I think perhaps that I was worried about what the future brings for myself and for my family and that I am not fully prepared for it. I will just keep on doing the best that I can.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
The feelings of anxiety and sadness I have been experiencing lately prompted me to take the last lowest dosage of the medication that I took for General Anxiety Disorder. Within an hour I was starting to feel much more normal again. It is non-habit forming (not a benzo), and with the lower dosage I wasn't having the side-effects of brain fog that I was on a higher level of the medication. This tells me that like the anti-depressant I take, the other works with it for keeping my brain chemistry where I need it to be. I did some more research on it with the confirmation that low dosage treatment of this type works for a good number of people, for others not so much, but I have the experience to take back to my psychiatrist.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,327
Excellent news G!
I agree in medication whole heartedly—When it’s used with discretion but where it’s needed —it is needed no doubt about it. No shame in that. Our society makes us shameful of anxiety depression and other mental personality issues. So wrong.
Good morning everyone
Gotta go
Sleep too short
I agree in medication whole heartedly—When it’s used with discretion but where it’s needed —it is needed no doubt about it. No shame in that. Our society makes us shameful of anxiety depression and other mental personality issues. So wrong.
Good morning everyone
Gotta go
Sleep too short
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
I can squeeze in my thoughts for the end of today before the midnight hour, I see.
Today was much more relaxed and satisfying while being very busy also. Back on the medication I had more interest in what I was doing and how I was attending to things. I might have left feeling overwhelmed but instead arrived home to make a nice dinner for myself and fell asleep for a while because I was tired from all the activities.
Willow, we know that you have limited ability to connect right now, but just know that we are thinking about you.
Free, I hope that you are making progress on the plethora of things that you have to get done with your move.
Everyone, I hope that your days this week will be fruitful and bring the benefits of continued sobriety.
Today was much more relaxed and satisfying while being very busy also. Back on the medication I had more interest in what I was doing and how I was attending to things. I might have left feeling overwhelmed but instead arrived home to make a nice dinner for myself and fell asleep for a while because I was tired from all the activities.
Willow, we know that you have limited ability to connect right now, but just know that we are thinking about you.
Free, I hope that you are making progress on the plethora of things that you have to get done with your move.
Everyone, I hope that your days this week will be fruitful and bring the benefits of continued sobriety.
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
Hey there lovely Mayers!
Free, over summer last year I did a full house sort out. I went through every single nook and cranny, every drawer, notepad, paperwork, clothes cupboards. 30 years of things I had collected was tough to go through but I ended up getting rid of 60% of the things in my house and felt so much better for it. One of the hardest was the piles of paperwork and 60+ notepads. I found angry letters to ex's I never sent, diaries and notes to myself that I never acted on, reminders of my drink driving conviction, being ripped off by my ex for a lot of money and the list goes on. I methodically went through it all, piles all over the house and began shredding. It was a weird week as there were so many memories tied up in that paper, things I had forgot, things that should remain in the past and things I needed to remember. When you get through it you will feel so much better! x
Free, over summer last year I did a full house sort out. I went through every single nook and cranny, every drawer, notepad, paperwork, clothes cupboards. 30 years of things I had collected was tough to go through but I ended up getting rid of 60% of the things in my house and felt so much better for it. One of the hardest was the piles of paperwork and 60+ notepads. I found angry letters to ex's I never sent, diaries and notes to myself that I never acted on, reminders of my drink driving conviction, being ripped off by my ex for a lot of money and the list goes on. I methodically went through it all, piles all over the house and began shredding. It was a weird week as there were so many memories tied up in that paper, things I had forgot, things that should remain in the past and things I needed to remember. When you get through it you will feel so much better! x
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
Hey there, Manta. I'm physically down to the minimal stuff right now, but in my head I'm going through the sorting of stuff -- what needs to be kept and what can go. It's quite an exercise. I'm sure that Free is happy to receive the encouragement of getting through that process of what follows her to CO. Maybe your're done with that already, Free?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 454
Hi everyone!
i hope you are all having a fantastic week. My daughters have had some nasty colds and been up a lot at night. It’s nice to know I am sober, and coherent to deal with their nightly calls of ‘mom!!!!’ But I’m am def feeling tired.
Went out last night with three neighbor mommy friends. It was enjoyable... only one not drinking, of course. It is getting slowly easier and easier. But I still always feel like the weird one. Like I am expected to drink. So it is easier but still annoying.
free and mantra- I so need to go through my house and de clutter. I would love to go through every single drawer, notepad, toys, clothes... and organize and purge. The truth is I love doing that. I really like watching people doing the kon Marie method (not sure if I spelled that right.) it is fasanating to me.
my house is way overdue for a good purge session. But I feel like it is so time consuming. And I just do t have the time. Which sounds ridiculous, since I don’t work. I’m just home with my two daughters... but busy.
I feel like I should have so much more time now that I am sober. I am sitting at my youngest daughters dance class right now (that we were late going to.) Wearing the T-shirt I slept in last night wth leggings. Hair not brushed pulled up on top of my head. No makeup. I did brush my teeth this morning. But hey, I am sober 😊
well im done rambling on. Hope you guys all have a fantastic day, because you truly deserve it.
i hope you are all having a fantastic week. My daughters have had some nasty colds and been up a lot at night. It’s nice to know I am sober, and coherent to deal with their nightly calls of ‘mom!!!!’ But I’m am def feeling tired.
Went out last night with three neighbor mommy friends. It was enjoyable... only one not drinking, of course. It is getting slowly easier and easier. But I still always feel like the weird one. Like I am expected to drink. So it is easier but still annoying.
free and mantra- I so need to go through my house and de clutter. I would love to go through every single drawer, notepad, toys, clothes... and organize and purge. The truth is I love doing that. I really like watching people doing the kon Marie method (not sure if I spelled that right.) it is fasanating to me.
my house is way overdue for a good purge session. But I feel like it is so time consuming. And I just do t have the time. Which sounds ridiculous, since I don’t work. I’m just home with my two daughters... but busy.
I feel like I should have so much more time now that I am sober. I am sitting at my youngest daughters dance class right now (that we were late going to.) Wearing the T-shirt I slept in last night wth leggings. Hair not brushed pulled up on top of my head. No makeup. I did brush my teeth this morning. But hey, I am sober 😊
well im done rambling on. Hope you guys all have a fantastic day, because you truly deserve it.
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