Sunflower84

Morning 6:40am here...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOB!
Hoping you have a lovely day and glad to see you back in the group.


Darkling, so pleased your bloods are normal, great news! Let us know when your gastro appointment is and keep us posted. I have a real strong feeling all will be ok so I hope I am right With managing the anxiety, have you tried any herbal remedies? I'm about to get 2 tinctures and an amino acid capsule that work wonders for me, I've been run out of them a few weeks now and can definitely tell I'm not taking them. I use Avena Sativa and Skullcap tinctures and L Theanine capsules, take a look / read online and see what you think, each to their own but I personally much prefer the herbal / holistic route were possible.

David, great to have you back here and wishing you luck on the job-hunt. My BF is searching at the moment and its the same, the interruption of Xmas and the New Year definitely delays things. Hoping you find the right job soon

Zoeydog, good to hear the av's given you a break, lets hope it lasts like you say. Hope you have a lovely weekend.

Bonnie, yep things are evening out a bit. I'm still having the anxiety and mood swings but no angry outbursts for a while, no more breakages as yet! . I have to laugh... As I said to Darkling, I'm getting my herbal tinctures Monday and I swear by them so that should help. Enjoy your weekend Bonnie and Birthday Wishes for your Son.

Bekind, congrats on 5 months!

Good to hear from you this morning Ayers You sound a bit more upbeat. Any plans for the weekend? I need to take a leaf out of your book and get back on my smoothies / juices. Got the new blender, made 2 and left it at that lol. Enjoy your Saturday Ayers

Well later this morning I'm going round to my friends for coffee and a catch up, she's pregnant but in the very early stages and could be loosing it, they can't find a heart beat and the baby isn't the size it should be so it's another scan next week to see whats what, tough time for her so I'm going to see her.
Other than that it's finishing my book, walking and getting my invoices in order for my tax return.

Next week is quite a big week for me, well it feels that way. The deal I was after didn't come in Friday, can't speak with them until Monday so I'm hoping to get that in as I really need the money. Also I have a board meeting at the office to go over the plans for year ahead. Monday Morning I have my first CBT Therapy session (can't wait for this!), then Tuesday I start yoga, I hope I can definitely get my herbal tinctures Monday as I'm so nervous about the yoga. My anxiety over walking into a group class is very high! A one to one, fine. A group just sat talking, OK. But a group class doing yoga, I find very outfacing and awkward. I really must go!!!!! I know in my gut, in my soul, that starting yoga is going to be a real turning point for me, might sound extreme but I just know it, I must get to this class and over ride the anxiety!

I saw my Mum and Dad yesterday, they had an appointment here where I live so they called in and my Dad looked quite healthy and upbeat so that was good. He has a consultation at the hospital next Tuesday with the Doctor doing the surgery to hopefully remove the cancer with a laser op, I just want the op date asap! Want that evil disease out of him, fingers crossed it happens soon.

Well I'm going to make another drink and maybe read for a while... Wishing you all a lovely day and weekend


Check in again later

Katy xxx

matrac

Bekind....got a flu shot in November. It was administered too high on my arm and I have been having pain ever since. I had an MRI and it showed a full thickness tear in one of the tendons. The workman’s comp doctor said the tear is age related and not due to the injection. He said I don’t need surgery. I have no way to explain the pain and limited range of motion that I have since the injection however and so they ordered physical therapy. Perhaps it’s an inflammatory reaction to the vaccine being delivered into the shoulder joint and not into my deltoid muscle.

I haven’t heard from my employer yet about the physical therapy. I’m going to see my own doctor, a shoulder specialist, this week.

There are 2 issues...one, there was medical negligence.....two, they’re arguing that it’s not work related and yet the flu shot was mandatory and my employer administered it. If The second opinion says I need surgery and I go ahead with it, I will be home from work for 8 weeks or more. My compensation will be a small state disability (if it’s considered not work related), versus workman’s comp at my salary level. Also, there’s a federal compensation fund for vaccine injuries that I was directed to.....

All I really want is to know is whether or not I need surgery and how I will then be compensated and also what the future implications are for my shoulder. I would be happy if physical therapy will be enough.

Crazy, right?

matrac

Katy, I wish you luck with your work dealings! As for the yoga class..I’m not good either at being New to a group. I would sit in the back near the door...all eyes will be at the front.

Bekindalways

That is one weird wackadoodle tale. Kinda one in a zillion. I hope you don't need surgery as that just seems so radical.

Seems like everyone should be bending over backwards to do whatever it takes to make this right.

matrac

Bekind...I think they’re thinking this will get better on it’s own and they dont want to pay anything. The good news is, I am feeling better....at least 85% better.

Can you imagine if I were still drinking and dealing with this?

Ayers

Saturday evening

Hello Augustonians

I hope you all had a great Saturday? Doing stuff that gave you joy?

I had lunch with my friend, sitting under huge old trees in a courtyard, sipping on lemon soda water. It was a lovely afternoon. We then went to look at the house they are moving to, which is being renovated – walls taken down, rubble everywhere, but – new beginnings , lovely view (is in a Green belt close to the river). So excited for her. We walked around (rather fell around the rubble) using our imagination to “place” all her furniture . Outside a massive flock of swallows were flying and dive-bombing , which sent the ducks quacking and waddling back to the safety of the river. Lovely and beautiful.

Read a post on Newcomers thread by Horatio. I love reading his threads , always quotes Shakespeare. And he is a very deep thinker with profound posts. Well worth the read.

Waiting for H to get back from golf, he’ll probably be late – was their first game with their whole group intact after the holidays – so they might stick around a bit.

Not much else to report here.

Bob, hope you had (or are having) a great birthday.
Barbs , I am getting worried about you. Please let us know what’s happening . We miss you and we are here for you.

Have a lovely evening all. Lots of love and hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

DarklingSong

That is such a crazy situation with work/injury benefit Matrac. It is awful the way employees are treated. I don't know if you are in a work union? They can be good at bringing pressure to bear on employers. I do hope the physio will help you recover fully.

Katy, I hate groups- particularly exercise type groups- great advice above- sit at the back! For the first one anyway.....

Thanks for all the kind words from you all about my seemingly relentless health issues/fears. I am reticent about SSRI's as they didn't help my anxiety in the past. I love xanax. I mean love it. No surprises there. So that is not an option. My doctor thinks I need to learn to manage this. As I can 'function' in my day to day life she doesn't want to prescribe anything. I can see her point on this. I will certainly look into herbal alternatives (thank you Katy). I have bought CBD oil (it isn't psychoactive-no THC) so I might try that if I can't get a hold of this fear. It is meant to be good for pain too. I am taking a probiotic specifically for stress and it has helped my energy levels quite a lot but hasn't reduced the anxiety.

Today the anxiety was lower for sure. Blood results helped me get some perspective on things.

Hope everyone is having a good weekend.

And a Very Happy Birthday Bob. Hope you enjoy your day.

Bekindalways

Any of the mental/emotional disorders so suck as there just aren't many treatments if any for them. I feel so lucky that SSRIs have helped me. Unfortunately SSRIs seem like such a crap shoot. Anxiety seems very similar.

I've understood that addiction is often self-medication for these conditions. Ugh. Might help short term but sure doesn't long term.

DS, does exercise or meditation help at all? These help me a lot but getting myself to do it is another thing altogether.

DarklingSong

Be Kind......I have tried pretty much everything for anxiety over the years, including obviously the wine 'cure'.
I have done years of therapy (all types), tried mindfulness, SSRI's and a short course of xanax (1 week long).

Therapy did help me in many ways.....I think the reason I can keep functioning (despite severe anxiety at times) is because of the therapy work, so I am grateful for that.

Exercise definitely helps....just half an hour of walking a day has a big impact. I struggle to do it though when my anxiety is high. Really that is what I need to do....just push through it and get out in nature.

I certainly long for something magical that would just take it away but I know I have to try and accept it. I used to have panic attacks and I managed to overcome them. I am finding the hypochondria much tougher though....I think since becoming a mother it has been steadily getting worse and I had been drinking more and more to relieve it this last decade.

How have you been with the anxiety since quitting. Do you feel it is getting better? (I hope I am not being intrusive).

Bekindalways

No anxiety here that I know of other than what (I think) is typical existential angst but I am a depressive. I have been doing okay of late . . . .which I haven't really figured was due to stopping drinking . . . . but . . . now that you mention it maybe it is. Thanks for asking.

I'm the mirror image of you in that therapy didn't help me much but SSRIs did . . . . for which I am eternally grateful. . . . . . and ugh. I am just like you with the exercise. Why is it so ding dang dad blasted hard to exercise when it is the right thing to do??!! Argh.

I had a bit of a dull day. Took down the Christmas tree, wrote one last Christmas card, filed some papers . . .that kind of thing. Got myself out of the house in the pm to run errands: bought new socks, stamps and such . . . sigh . . . .my life oozes glamour and adventure every moment

Peace and courage to you all as you head into Sunday.

JustTony

Augustonians,

Great posts in this group. I always said it was special.

Keep going through the anxiety and medical issues. I know that none of you will make them an excuse to drink.

Best Regards,

JT

bobdrop

Hi all. Thanks for all the birthday wishes! I had a perfectly lazy day and thought it was great. My children couldn't stop reminding me that I had hit the last year of my 50's. Looking back on my life, it is amazing that I made it to this point in pretty good health. Don't know how many of you watch Mom, but at the end of season 1, Christy talks about her journey through her 1st year of sobriety and its' struggles, but then finishes up by saying that she got sober just in time. Sometimes that's how I feel. I'm getting sober just in time. Just in time for a good retirement, just in time for upcoming grandchildren that will never see me drunk, and just in time before bad stuff really did happen to me healthwise from drinking. I'm hoping that we can all feel blessed as we get sober.

OK, for today, GO SAINTS!!

Ayers

Sunday 14:00

Great Bob, glad you had a good day. Pity about the reminder about your age

Hi JT, yes, we all seem to fighting different battles regarding medical and psychological stuff, but at thankfully we are hanging in there.
Glad to see you are going strong, still read your posts everyday - always great and thought provoking.

Hi Alice, Barbs, Bee,Bonnie, Dee, DD,Katy,and Zoey - hope you are all having a good Sunday. I can't wait to go and laze on the couch with a book.

Love and hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Barbs

A quick check in, sorry I haven't been posting. I seem to get interrupted so often. I'm doing well. Ayres, your chant made me laugh!

Sunflower84

Hey, late check in for me, 1:05pm now.

I have zero motivation today, no energy at all.

I've been up since around 6:30am and still in my pj's, bored but no energy to do anything. I'm dragging myself into the shower soon then I'll go for a brisk walk to try and pull myself round. I keep thinking about drink, I won't drink right now, I know I won't but I can't help these little flash images of me sat with a drink feeling so content and at ease, escaping the day to day routine for just a little while... but then I flick straight back to reality and see that I wouldn't be at ease, it would be false and temporary and lead me back to hell... I think I need more going on, to be a little busier but its that frustrating feeling of needing to be busy but with no motivation at all to do a single thing lol...

Bonnie, I'm definitely following your advice and sitting at the back of the yoga class, there's no way I could face anyone being behind. I'll get there a little early and be at the back.

Ayers, the courtyard lunch sounds lovely I too have read Horatio's post, definitely worth a read. Enjoy your book, think I might be doing the same after dragging myself out for a walk. I'm wondering if I need to be making sure I walk early morning, still sat here in pj's at this time probably isn't helping but I've just felt so tired..

I relate to you BeKind about the exercise, It's definitely what I need to be doing too but I feel like you, doing it is damn tough at times, most of the time!

Glad you had a good Birthday Bob

Not much else to say today, I'm out of motivation and words lol...

Finishing my coffee then I shall robotically get into the shower and out for a walk.

Thinking of you all.

Enjoy the rest of the weekend

Katy xxx

Sunflower84

Good to hear from you Barbs Glad you're doing well

Bekindalways

Good morning from the trailing edge of Sunday here in Western US.

If astrology is true my Dad's stars would show an bad alignment for the last 10 hours. A friend of his, in the dining room of his senior living facility, told him he was a bad person. Then last night he got sick. I'm advising him to not operate heavy equipment today. Some times are like that.

So I'm off to clean up carpet from last night. Not the best start to the day . . .ugh.

Katy, this is me many times too >>>>> "I think I need more going on, to be a little busier but its that frustrating feeling of needing to be busy but with no motivation at all to do a single thing lol..." I'm only semi employed between renting my parents' house and taking care of their needs. Sure I could be doing lots of useful stuff but hard to get motivated specially when the four o'clock pm fall-aparts hit.

So off to get going for another day of glamour etc.

DarklingSong

Thanks for sharing that Be Kind......

Barbs good to see you. Glad you are doing well.

Preparing for a busy week ahead here.

Hope everyone has a good Sunday.

Ayers

Sunday evening 21:30

Barbs !!! You gave me a scare. Thanks for letting us know you are okay.

Katy, that feeling .... boredom, wanting to do something but not having the energy or motivation ... I know it so well.

It has actually been one of the things/emotions/reactions/whatever since quitting that has gotten to me most. I have been steadily fighting it , but have come to the conclusion that it must have something to do with the healing of my body (and mind). I have times where I whizz about, doing everything I planned and more, and then the next thing I feel like a flag hanging on a flagpole without any wind -

I have made peace with it. Because it has happened a few times now, On those days ( and they come and go every few weeks) I have given up trying to fight it. I surrender. Because I know it is going to pass and I am going to be energized again . It remains a mystery to me why it is happening, but I have noticed it in many posters - complaining of the same thing.

Those are also the times I think about a drink. So there is a pattern here. I know exactly how you feel. Please don't give in or give up. You will most probably wake up tomorrow morning feeling on top of the world again. Or even if this lethargy lasts a couple of days - just work through it - be ready for it happening .

I now know , when I start feeling this lull/ low energy/ lack of motivation , I am on high, high alert.

Hope you all have a good evening and lovely week.
Love and hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

zoeydog

Another sober weekend! One day at a time … Several social events that went fine. A couple of my Dry January buddies went off the rails, but are back on today. I just plowed through. Love to wake up with no regrets!

Hope all of you are doing well, and the medical and anxiety issues quiet down for you! All that uncertainty surely isn't helpful in keeping the AV at bay.

Talk to you tomorrow!