Today is my 2nd day without booze, had no sleep last night due to my feet and hands and head itching, feeling all my regrets from the past weekend replaying in my head as all the disrespect I’ve shown my family..I just don’t like who I see in the mirror...idk why my wife didn’t leave me years ago but God’s made her love me regardless....I want to show her the same love she’s always given me, I used to be a regular at the gym and playing basketball...and lately I’ve just been on drunk binges for a weekend every month since August honestly...spent a lot of money over this time period and my kids are always asking for me...I really hate myself right now...I’m damaging my kids minds and the pain I’ve put on my wife is ridiculous...just over years and years...my plan from yesterday is to start loving myself because I think I’ve never deserved to be happy...I’m gonna search for my happiness that doesn’t result in whiskey or craft beers and other people I’ve met out at bars...god help me!

Thanks D122y...this process of striving to be sober will be a daily, hour and minute issue to stay sober...I haven’t even discussed the 2 dwi’s I got the past 3 years which also puts more stress on my mind...even makes me