Class of January Support Thread 2018 Part 8
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Join Date: Jan 2018
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Palmer so glad you’re out of the isolation and shame. At least now if we hide in our hotel rooms and avoid people it’s because it’s a healthy darn choice!
Hope all are okay. I’m just saying hello before I go to bed while I take a quick break from work emails. Whenever I work through emails I set an arbitrary numerical goal and i haven’t met it yet.
Hope all are okay. I’m just saying hello before I go to bed while I take a quick break from work emails. Whenever I work through emails I set an arbitrary numerical goal and i haven’t met it yet.
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Hi all, another day of weather issues, although at least today the kids and I won't be completely stuck inside like yesterday. Because of the holiday, next week will only be a 2-day school week, and fall activities are over so there isn't a lot to occupy them right now. Speaking of the holiday, I'm not prepared at all but it will be SUCH a luxury to have someone else host for a change. I used to prefer to host, even insist on it, mostly so I could make sure I had enough alcohol available. I'm really looking forward to keeping the focus on family and food, where it belongs. Especially food. 
Numblady, you're so right...we isolate because we want to now, ha! I hope you were able to plow through your emails and if not, I hope it didn't stress you out too much. Do you guys need to travel for Thanksgiving, or are your in-laws local?
I hope everyone has a great day, I'll check in later!
Numblady, you're so right...we isolate because we want to now, ha! I hope you were able to plow through your emails and if not, I hope it didn't stress you out too much. Do you guys need to travel for Thanksgiving, or are your in-laws local?
I hope everyone has a great day, I'll check in later!
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Hi all! We were without power all day, and it just came back on. I'm actually a little bummed, because the kids and I were in bed with flashlights, reading books (OK fine, I was scrolling through Instagram on my phone, but they were reading books!) We were out all evening and had a good time, so I was ready to have an excuse for an early bedtime. Foiled! Sunflower, I hope you have a nice trip to Boston, it will be beautiful and festive even if it is way too cold!
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Aww Palmer love how you made such a fun evening out of the power loss. That just sounds so sweet and wholesome.
Yes, Sunflower, safe travels and have fun in Boston, MA!
Our evening here was not so sweet and wholesome. My husband and I got into a fight last night and it’s just really making me sad. Even after 13+ years of marriage and knowing what I know about his unhealthy role models, my mind still can’t handle how he talks to me sometimes. And as you all may appreciate it was especially galling because he was drunk. Or, at least, he drank way too much. He wasn’t like slurry drunk but surprise, surprise his favorite restaurant just so happens to have the strongest margaritas in town and he went there for lunch. And then I’m sure went to a brewery to “work” the rest of the afternoon. Anyhow, just really bummed. And I’m supposed to go out with him to an event tonight that is him and a bunch of his hard drinking buddies. Actually not all of them drink the way he does so I’m hoping I can just find a new person to talk to and learn more about them.
I am still not 100% physically. This is one of the most malingering dang viruses or whatever it is. But I’ve got to get back to working out so I guess that’s what I’m going to do right now. That generally helps the old attitude as well.
Be back later!
Yes, Sunflower, safe travels and have fun in Boston, MA!
Our evening here was not so sweet and wholesome. My husband and I got into a fight last night and it’s just really making me sad. Even after 13+ years of marriage and knowing what I know about his unhealthy role models, my mind still can’t handle how he talks to me sometimes. And as you all may appreciate it was especially galling because he was drunk. Or, at least, he drank way too much. He wasn’t like slurry drunk but surprise, surprise his favorite restaurant just so happens to have the strongest margaritas in town and he went there for lunch. And then I’m sure went to a brewery to “work” the rest of the afternoon. Anyhow, just really bummed. And I’m supposed to go out with him to an event tonight that is him and a bunch of his hard drinking buddies. Actually not all of them drink the way he does so I’m hoping I can just find a new person to talk to and learn more about them.
I am still not 100% physically. This is one of the most malingering dang viruses or whatever it is. But I’ve got to get back to working out so I guess that’s what I’m going to do right now. That generally helps the old attitude as well.
Be back later!
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Hi all! Cold here, but at least I started the day off right by walking the dogs. It's been so difficult to get out there and do it lately, although we have a few days off for the holiday so hopefully I can balance out some of my planned eating with more physical activity. I'm really looking forward to Thanksgiving, even though I know I will probably feel wistful about sipping wine out of crystal glasses (never mind that in order to maintain that facade, I had to secretly swig from my stash in between). I was always stressed, disorganized, and exhausted, but this year I get to be present, helpful, and hopefully not too tired.
Numblady, I'm so sorry about the fight with your husband. Was it about anything specific, or kind of just him being a d$%#? And my sympathies for having to go out with his drinking buddies, on top of it. At best, that sounds boring and at worst, super annoying. I feel like this is one of those times when the things you "should" do to remain strong in your sobriety clash with some of the realities of compromising in a relationship, especially when you kind of want to keep the peace...and thinking about how to cope with the situations which were acceptable when you were drinking too? Sorry I don't have any advice, but as usual I can commisserate and hope you get some good rest today.
Numblady, I'm so sorry about the fight with your husband. Was it about anything specific, or kind of just him being a d$%#? And my sympathies for having to go out with his drinking buddies, on top of it. At best, that sounds boring and at worst, super annoying. I feel like this is one of those times when the things you "should" do to remain strong in your sobriety clash with some of the realities of compromising in a relationship, especially when you kind of want to keep the peace...and thinking about how to cope with the situations which were acceptable when you were drinking too? Sorry I don't have any advice, but as usual I can commisserate and hope you get some good rest today.
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Thanks, Palmer. It wasn’t really anything specific. He just flew off the handle. He did give a very heartfelt apology today and admitted he was feeling stress about this event tonight. There’s a part of me that’s so bummed he would take his frustrations with this other aspect of his life out on us (hard to explain but he has this group and his ego is very invested in its success or failure). But then there’s another part of me that recognizes the sad truth of family living can sometimes be that our closest sphere gets the worst of us while we preserve a more pleasant facade for the rest of the world. I still think we owe our families basic decency and decorum so i’ll never agree with my husband’s behavior in that regard. But if I think about how many days I come home with the entire life sucked out of me just sleepwalking until I can do actual sleeping...well maybe I can’t get too high and mighty I suppose. And it ended up being a very nice evening. It was mostly just me and my husband...again kind of hard to explain but with the timing of things we got to the restaurant/first venue long before the rest of the group and also got to the second venue well in advance of most people. The food was A-mazing!! And I ordered dessert and cappuccino and they were both kind of the best ever. His friends (all couples at dinner anyway) were really fun to talk to, and I got to leave right around 9 p.m. In keeping with my preferences. I took a ride share home. I was so grateful to not have to worry if I was talking too much because of the booze. Or trying to seem like a non drunk person so I was not like all the other drinkers they have to haul around. Or just wondering if my breath smelled like booze in the car. Then paid the sitter with a tired but present mind.
Palmer, hope the exercise trend continues. Saw a fascinating speaker at my conference recently. He does capacity assessments on people. Anyhow on a kind of positive note he told us that memory is not really associated with capacity/functioning. I mean, you can be incapacitated and have lost a lot of memory but you can be incapacitated and score very well on the memory assessments. For whatever that may be worth with your mom.. He also said the number one thing you can do to prevent the onslaught of loss of functioning is to exercise. He said there is no substitute for blood flowing to the frontal lobe of the brain. Just thought it was interesting....and motivational!
Well thanks for listening and talk to y’all tomorrow. I signed up for another yoga class with other humans—how weird, right?! Trying out a different studio from the last time. We shall see.
Palmer, hope the exercise trend continues. Saw a fascinating speaker at my conference recently. He does capacity assessments on people. Anyhow on a kind of positive note he told us that memory is not really associated with capacity/functioning. I mean, you can be incapacitated and have lost a lot of memory but you can be incapacitated and score very well on the memory assessments. For whatever that may be worth with your mom.. He also said the number one thing you can do to prevent the onslaught of loss of functioning is to exercise. He said there is no substitute for blood flowing to the frontal lobe of the brain. Just thought it was interesting....and motivational!
Well thanks for listening and talk to y’all tomorrow. I signed up for another yoga class with other humans—how weird, right?! Trying out a different studio from the last time. We shall see.
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Celebrating 11 months sober today, woohoo!
I'm tired this morning after a much-too-short night's sleep (sorry Chase, not talking newborn-level tired here!) One of my kids was camping, so I had my 5 year old nephew for a sleepover (which we've done a hundred times, and he always has a blast). This time, something set him off and he decided he wanted to go home, crying, etc. He did settle down, but I was just kind of over the whole thing and wanted it to be over, even though I obviously don't fault the poor kid for making a fuss. Now I need to make a pilgrimage to a specific doughnut shop and hopefully get him home sooner rather than later. A nap, however brief, is definitely planned for today.
NL, I'm so glad that 1) the food was good!!! and 2) your husband's friends weren't too annoying. A yoga class sounds like the perfect thing to do today, is it a specific type of yoga? One thing that seems good about your husband is that he must be pretty supportive of you working out. Mine doesn't exercise at all, and without saying it, I can tell he kind of thinks that I'm being a little selfish and inconveniencing him when I try to go...hence dog walking, which is exercise but ALSO a job.
I hope some more folks check in soon, otherwise I am going to convince NL to just start an email chain! Seriously, I hope everyone is doing well and living your sober life wherever you are. Have a great day, guys.
I'm tired this morning after a much-too-short night's sleep (sorry Chase, not talking newborn-level tired here!) One of my kids was camping, so I had my 5 year old nephew for a sleepover (which we've done a hundred times, and he always has a blast). This time, something set him off and he decided he wanted to go home, crying, etc. He did settle down, but I was just kind of over the whole thing and wanted it to be over, even though I obviously don't fault the poor kid for making a fuss. Now I need to make a pilgrimage to a specific doughnut shop and hopefully get him home sooner rather than later.
A nap, however brief, is definitely planned for today.NL, I'm so glad that 1) the food was good!!! and 2) your husband's friends weren't too annoying. A yoga class sounds like the perfect thing to do today, is it a specific type of yoga? One thing that seems good about your husband is that he must be pretty supportive of you working out. Mine doesn't exercise at all, and without saying it, I can tell he kind of thinks that I'm being a little selfish and inconveniencing him when I try to go...hence dog walking, which is exercise but ALSO a job.
I hope some more folks check in soon, otherwise I am going to convince NL to just start an email chain! Seriously, I hope everyone is doing well and living your sober life wherever you are. Have a great day, guys.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
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Hi Guys!
Its been a crazy few days between long travel home, jet lag and some work issues and dramas thrown in for good measure. Back tomorrow to pick up the mantle again for more regular posting and reconnecting with you all.
Take care!
Its been a crazy few days between long travel home, jet lag and some work issues and dramas thrown in for good measure. Back tomorrow to pick up the mantle again for more regular posting and reconnecting with you all.
Take care!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
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Palmer CONGRATS on 11 months! It seems like a virtual certainty you’ll make it another month. How does it feel to be looking at a full year?!! I mean I know I’m jumping the gun a little but just wondering how you are feeling at 11 months. I went to a hipster yoga studio for a flow class. It was a fine class. Idk. I need to find a tribe. I know they are out there somewhere. I just don’t have time to find them. or see them once I find them! I fell over during Triangle pose. Which was kind of hilarious but for some reason I felt like the hipsters just were annoyed by it. That is probably me projecting. And yes, my husband definitely makes space for me to exercise. It’s mostly a good thing but then we end up doing everything in shifts. Every weekend he gets one weekend morning and I get the other. Then whoever has the kids in the morning has a “free” afternoon”. I just go work with mine. It’s nice to have the ability to focus on what I need to do. But like I said also kind of a bummer because the time we are a full family is more limited. Of course after the way the kids and my husband were this weekend I’m good with more space than less! Was thinking how funny it would be if the forum was just you and I. We could do one of those celebrity smash ups and call it Numbsage or Palmerlady or some such! Of course I know we are both glad to see NC and hopefully others.
NC glad you are home safely! Look forward to hear more about the adventure.
I guess that’s it for me. Time to pass out reading a recovery book
Was thinking how funny it would be if the forum was just you and I. We could do one of those celebrity smash ups and call it Numbsage or Palmerlady or some such! Of course I know we are both glad to see NC and hopefully others. NC glad you are home safely! Look forward to hear more about the adventure.
I guess that’s it for me. Time to pass out reading a recovery book
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Hi Class!!
I have missed talking with you all so much! I am so sorry for my silence over the past month, the trip turned out to be a little more hectic and go go go than expected. Ain't it always the way? It was a productive trip and we learned so much. We had a deal in the bag, confirmed on the very last day of our trip, just as we were about to fly out and it was set to be the perfect, triumphant end to all the hard work we'd put in and a cure for the negativity of the past few months. we had sent the contract and they were all set to sign and then; the client ghosted us for 2 days and came back looking to negotiate further and now we're back to contending. It's so frustrating. To add to the disappointment, one of our biggest clients, for whom we have been doing a stellar job of late, sent us an email completely out of the blue with a list of complaints and issues and summoning us to a meeting with their board to plead our case. The most frustrating part is that 90% of the complaints have nothing to do with us, it's down to user error on their employee's side, and what's worse, they either a) have never raised the 'issues', so we haven't been able to advise them on how to resolve them or b) in some cases we have called and emailed multiple times a day/week and they refuse to answer or return our communication efforts. It's incredibly unfair and just makes me feel as though sometimes, no matter what you do, it will never be good enough.
Sorry to download all the negative! There were definitely some positives to the trip as we did take a mini vacation in the middle and I did a lot of thinking about life, my business, my husband's business and just my goals in general I guess. Unfortunately there was no 'eureka' or epiphanous moment, though, and mostly I am just left with more questions - but at least I am asking the questions, I guess! Not like when I was drinking and just numbing out the discontent. I hit 10 months just as we got back, which I am super proud of - but I definitely fell off the wagon food and exercise wise whilst travelling. I've noticed my anxiety is back with a bang and i have no doubt there is a direct correlation there! Now that I've been home a few days and have re-adjusted, I'll be getting to the gym this evening for a workout. It's going to kill me but at least I'll be getting the ball rolling again!
@Chase: How is baby?! I can only imagine the levels of exhaustion right now, but I am so happy to hear that everyone is happy and healthy, if weary!
@Palmer: CONGRATULATIONS on 11 months!! I was just reading your post about the 'magic' of the holidays being gone and I totally relate! I have always adored the holidays, but I feel like the past few years have been more stressful than fun. I didn't drink over the festive period last year and thankfully no one bothered me about it, so I am happy that it won't be a problem this year either. I think it is so awesome how you are doing with your exercise routine - I will be taking motivation and inspiration from you!
@Numblady: I'm so glad you are feeling somewhat better but I really hope that you are back to yourself soon! Those types of illnesses that just hang around really take it out of you. I'm so happy to hear that your evening turned out well and that you got to enjoy stimulating conversation with nice people without the intrusion of alcohol and the inevitable post-mortem fear of having spoken too much/out of turn/inappropriately! How great is it that we are all learning to be social and enjoy such events in a wholesome way? I do agree with you in your observation about people sometimes saving the best front for the outside world and taking out their frustrations on those closest. I'm glad your husband was able to acknowledge his behaviour was unfair, however I agree that though being on edge provides a reason, it doesn't excuse it either and you shouldn't have to be the one to absorb the fallout. Maybe you could try suggest to him that you're happy to support him and listen to him talk it out when he feels frustrated in this way, but that you need him to be open and communicative rather than shutting down and acting out instead?
Hi Dee, Sunflower, BTLover and anyone else out there!
I have missed talking with you all so much! I am so sorry for my silence over the past month, the trip turned out to be a little more hectic and go go go than expected. Ain't it always the way? It was a productive trip and we learned so much. We had a deal in the bag, confirmed on the very last day of our trip, just as we were about to fly out and it was set to be the perfect, triumphant end to all the hard work we'd put in and a cure for the negativity of the past few months. we had sent the contract and they were all set to sign and then; the client ghosted us for 2 days and came back looking to negotiate further and now we're back to contending. It's so frustrating. To add to the disappointment, one of our biggest clients, for whom we have been doing a stellar job of late, sent us an email completely out of the blue with a list of complaints and issues and summoning us to a meeting with their board to plead our case. The most frustrating part is that 90% of the complaints have nothing to do with us, it's down to user error on their employee's side, and what's worse, they either a) have never raised the 'issues', so we haven't been able to advise them on how to resolve them or b) in some cases we have called and emailed multiple times a day/week and they refuse to answer or return our communication efforts. It's incredibly unfair and just makes me feel as though sometimes, no matter what you do, it will never be good enough.
Sorry to download all the negative! There were definitely some positives to the trip as we did take a mini vacation in the middle and I did a lot of thinking about life, my business, my husband's business and just my goals in general I guess. Unfortunately there was no 'eureka' or epiphanous moment, though, and mostly I am just left with more questions - but at least I am asking the questions, I guess! Not like when I was drinking and just numbing out the discontent. I hit 10 months just as we got back, which I am super proud of - but I definitely fell off the wagon food and exercise wise whilst travelling. I've noticed my anxiety is back with a bang and i have no doubt there is a direct correlation there! Now that I've been home a few days and have re-adjusted, I'll be getting to the gym this evening for a workout. It's going to kill me but at least I'll be getting the ball rolling again!
@Chase: How is baby?! I can only imagine the levels of exhaustion right now, but I am so happy to hear that everyone is happy and healthy, if weary!
@Palmer: CONGRATULATIONS on 11 months!! I was just reading your post about the 'magic' of the holidays being gone and I totally relate! I have always adored the holidays, but I feel like the past few years have been more stressful than fun. I didn't drink over the festive period last year and thankfully no one bothered me about it, so I am happy that it won't be a problem this year either. I think it is so awesome how you are doing with your exercise routine - I will be taking motivation and inspiration from you!
@Numblady: I'm so glad you are feeling somewhat better but I really hope that you are back to yourself soon! Those types of illnesses that just hang around really take it out of you. I'm so happy to hear that your evening turned out well and that you got to enjoy stimulating conversation with nice people without the intrusion of alcohol and the inevitable post-mortem fear of having spoken too much/out of turn/inappropriately! How great is it that we are all learning to be social and enjoy such events in a wholesome way? I do agree with you in your observation about people sometimes saving the best front for the outside world and taking out their frustrations on those closest. I'm glad your husband was able to acknowledge his behaviour was unfair, however I agree that though being on edge provides a reason, it doesn't excuse it either and you shouldn't have to be the one to absorb the fallout. Maybe you could try suggest to him that you're happy to support him and listen to him talk it out when he feels frustrated in this way, but that you need him to be open and communicative rather than shutting down and acting out instead?
Hi Dee, Sunflower, BTLover and anyone else out there!
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Hi all! I started to type something this morning, but got sidetracked and then had to attend an event which was an hour away. It was the type of function I would normally avoid (a ribbon-cutting so politicians and funders can basically pat themselves on the back and then never be heard from again), but I figured...I need to network. And from that standpoint, it was a good use of my time, and I'm glad that I went.
NewChapter, so glad to hear from you! And even though it sounds like the trip was a mixed bag, at least you got some rest. It is incredibly annoying that you are the fall guy for your clients, that would be a hard pill to swallow because on one hand, you don't want to contradict them, and on the other hand, if they are saying you're incompetent, you can't really let that stand either. Congrats on 10 months, that is so great, and I hear you on the binge eating. I was doing really well, but then yesterday I ate 3 doughnuts without even thinking twice! Of course, there's nothing to do but pick up and move on, it's just tough when we feel like something is under control and then it pops back up again. Hopefully that won't be the case with alcohol, of course!
NL, thanks for the congrats and I do think I will make it to a year. but then what? A part of me is afraid that the novelty will wear off and I will be somewhat lost without a real milestone...but there is always 2 years, then 3, then...forever?
NewChapter, so glad to hear from you! And even though it sounds like the trip was a mixed bag, at least you got some rest. It is incredibly annoying that you are the fall guy for your clients, that would be a hard pill to swallow because on one hand, you don't want to contradict them, and on the other hand, if they are saying you're incompetent, you can't really let that stand either. Congrats on 10 months, that is so great, and I hear you on the binge eating. I was doing really well, but then yesterday I ate 3 doughnuts without even thinking twice! Of course, there's nothing to do but pick up and move on, it's just tough when we feel like something is under control and then it pops back up again. Hopefully that won't be the case with alcohol, of course!
NL, thanks for the congrats and I do think I will make it to a year. but then what? A part of me is afraid that the novelty will wear off and I will be somewhat lost without a real milestone...but there is always 2 years, then 3, then...forever?
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congrats from me too PS - If it helps after one year I didn't need the milestones to look forward to - I wasn't 'doing recovery' i was just 'living life'
hope everyone else is doing well too
D
hope everyone else is doing well too
D
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NC great to see you sailing through and catching up, albeit that I too am sorry about the ghosting and hypernegotiating of your potential clients.
Palmer glad you got out and mingled!
Dee, good to know. I have a feeling I’ll still be looking for milestones but we’ll see.
Today was brutally busy as ever and tomorrow i am “off” but have to get ready and get the house ready and hopefully confirm that our pet setter isn’t ghosting us and all that. I had one of the team come to say that they have to admit her spouse into rehab over Thanksgiving. She was crying and I told her about myself considering myself to be a person in recovery. Gosh I’m grateful to be able to say something heartfelt and authentic at times like these. Poor thing. Apparently her spouse had 27 years sober (I think on and off). What a pernicious illness.
Be back tomorrow i hope. But we’re traveling to in-laws’ tomorrow. We will see!
Thinking of you all!
Palmer glad you got out and mingled!
Dee, good to know. I have a feeling I’ll still be looking for milestones but we’ll see.
Today was brutally busy as ever and tomorrow i am “off” but have to get ready and get the house ready and hopefully confirm that our pet setter isn’t ghosting us and all that. I had one of the team come to say that they have to admit her spouse into rehab over Thanksgiving. She was crying and I told her about myself considering myself to be a person in recovery. Gosh I’m grateful to be able to say something heartfelt and authentic at times like these. Poor thing. Apparently her spouse had 27 years sober (I think on and off). What a pernicious illness.
Be back tomorrow i hope. But we’re traveling to in-laws’ tomorrow. We will see!
Thinking of you all!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
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Hi Class,
It is absolutely freezing here today, and I am currently typing this from under two sweaters a giant coat, boots, scarf, and hat - beside a heater! This is a stark contrast to the humidity and sunshine of the past few weeks away. We were also having quite a mild Fall before we left on our trip, so this is definitely Winter landing with a bang!
I didn't make it to the gym yesterday, but my eating was OK and I did get to the doctor after work for a routine check up, so I feel at least somewhat accomplished. Hubby had a tennis match late last night, so I got to curl up on the couch with my book, which was heaven. Have any of you read anything by Michael Connelly? He's written the Bosch series (which is also a TV series now, I think). I have never gotten round to reading any of his stuff before, but I picked up this book while away and I really like it so far. It's his new book and he's introduced a new character, a female detective. It's called 'The Late Show' - pretty good so far!
@Palmer: congratulations on the networking event. I never really enjoy those kinds of things myself, but I'm always glad afterwards as it is a great way to make connections and mix in the good old fashioned way, offline! I hear you about the doughnuts - you're absolutely right though - you just have to put it behind you and move on. Dwelling and beating ourselves up doesn't do us any good. It is both exciting and nerve wracking to approach the 1 year mark on the horizon. I too have wondered what will happen after year one passes over, as I've never gotten this far. I take solace in the fact that I have never felt such seismic improvement in my life, as now that I have quit drinking. Even though this year has been rough at times, I feel that being sober has allowed me to weather the conditions so much better, and i really don't ever want to give that up.
@Numblady: Wow, 27 years and to still be battling as in the beginning. Stories like that really emphasise just how pervasive the claws of this thing are, and how we can never afford to be anything less than vigilant, no matter how far down the road we go. It's always just waiting in the shadows to pounce. what a sad thought. I hope your colleague's spouse can find strength again. Enjoy safe travels to your in-laws'!
Hi Dee - thanks for your encouragement re: milestones!
It is absolutely freezing here today, and I am currently typing this from under two sweaters a giant coat, boots, scarf, and hat - beside a heater! This is a stark contrast to the humidity and sunshine of the past few weeks away. We were also having quite a mild Fall before we left on our trip, so this is definitely Winter landing with a bang!
I didn't make it to the gym yesterday, but my eating was OK and I did get to the doctor after work for a routine check up, so I feel at least somewhat accomplished. Hubby had a tennis match late last night, so I got to curl up on the couch with my book, which was heaven. Have any of you read anything by Michael Connelly? He's written the Bosch series (which is also a TV series now, I think). I have never gotten round to reading any of his stuff before, but I picked up this book while away and I really like it so far. It's his new book and he's introduced a new character, a female detective. It's called 'The Late Show' - pretty good so far!
@Palmer: congratulations on the networking event. I never really enjoy those kinds of things myself, but I'm always glad afterwards as it is a great way to make connections and mix in the good old fashioned way, offline! I hear you about the doughnuts - you're absolutely right though - you just have to put it behind you and move on. Dwelling and beating ourselves up doesn't do us any good. It is both exciting and nerve wracking to approach the 1 year mark on the horizon. I too have wondered what will happen after year one passes over, as I've never gotten this far. I take solace in the fact that I have never felt such seismic improvement in my life, as now that I have quit drinking. Even though this year has been rough at times, I feel that being sober has allowed me to weather the conditions so much better, and i really don't ever want to give that up.
@Numblady: Wow, 27 years and to still be battling as in the beginning. Stories like that really emphasise just how pervasive the claws of this thing are, and how we can never afford to be anything less than vigilant, no matter how far down the road we go. It's always just waiting in the shadows to pounce. what a sad thought. I hope your colleague's spouse can find strength again. Enjoy safe travels to your in-laws'!
Hi Dee - thanks for your encouragement re: milestones!
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Hi all! I have another busy day at work planned, so I need to get that started asap. I know Thanksgiving prep is going to sneak up on me like it always does, so I plan to at least buy some ingredients and start thinking about the dishes I've been assigned, which are numerous because my poor MIL is having some health issues and can't really cook (she is normally a complete badass when it comes to planning and executing large family meals, so I'm sure it's killing her to allow my SIL and I to do everything, but I don't think she has much of a choice). It's funny, when planning the menu the only drinks that were listed were wine and beer, and my husband was like "we should get some N/A drinks for the kids, right?" Ha! And me...
NL, I'm really glad that you were able to emphathize with the woman who needs to admit her husband to rehab, and after 27 years of sobriety, no less. That is crazy, and as NC said, a really good reminder that we need to be vigilant. Every time I see someone post that they relapsed after a year, I rush in to find out WTH happened? And it always seems like it's the moderation trap.
NC, that book sounds great, and reading on the sofa alone is such an relaxing way to spend your evening. I'm totally with you on a) worrying about the one year mark and b) recognizing that my life has improved so dramatically and never wanting to return to my alcohol prison.
Dee, that's a good point about just living our lives as sober people. I guess it's a little similar to weight loss in that sense, is sobriety a deprivation diet for a special occasion (so when the occasion passes, we go right back to our old patterns) or is it a lifestyle change that will simply become our new normal?
NL, I'm really glad that you were able to emphathize with the woman who needs to admit her husband to rehab, and after 27 years of sobriety, no less. That is crazy, and as NC said, a really good reminder that we need to be vigilant. Every time I see someone post that they relapsed after a year, I rush in to find out WTH happened? And it always seems like it's the moderation trap.
NC, that book sounds great, and reading on the sofa alone is such an relaxing way to spend your evening. I'm totally with you on a) worrying about the one year mark and b) recognizing that my life has improved so dramatically and never wanting to return to my alcohol prison.
Dee, that's a good point about just living our lives as sober people. I guess it's a little similar to weight loss in that sense, is sobriety a deprivation diet for a special occasion (so when the occasion passes, we go right back to our old patterns) or is it a lifestyle change that will simply become our new normal?
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 2,547
Hi me! Well, I did some cooking prep yesterday and I need to go to work this morning before I continue to prepare my assigned Thanksgiving dishes. Lots to do, but I'm excited to spend time with everyone even though it might be a bit stressful after all. Or maybe just annoying? I started and sent a list weeks ago of things we could do/make, and my SIL responded just last week to say that my BIL wants to also do some of the things I said I would do (he's into cooking and wants to try stuff) so I'm doing the things they don't like to make. Plus, we're all going to a sporting event the next day which is in the environment where drinking was my main event (it's a suite which is stocked with lots of alcohol). I know, it's all small and petty so I'm doing my best to focus on the important stuff instead. #serenitynow
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 984
Hi Class!
@Palmer: I'm sorry for your MIL, that's got to be tough for her to not only have to deal with her illness, but having that compounded by the fact she is being precluded from doing something that usually brings her joy. I think she will be so grateful though to have you, your SIL and BIL take the mantle and create a lovely meal for everyone on her behalf. And who knows, maybe she'll enjoy the process of having a meal handed up to her for a change! :-) It sucks about the sporting event - I know that I still have some environments which i just prefer to avoid altogether, and when forced into them, I still get anxious. At least you can plan for it though, and try have some strategies in place to make it more manageable and safeguard yourself and your sobriety (do you think they might have the ingredients to make some killer mocktails?).
I am totally with the theme emerging here of getting our heads around sobriety as a lifestyle after the one year mark, as opposed to a challenge or run against the clock. It's going to take time, but i'm slowly starting to view 'forever' as a positive, rather than a negative, as I continue to see positive changes.
Work is going relatively smoothly with the exception of some contentious issues, and the infamous pending deal that still hasn't come through. They have said that they would make their decision by Thanksgiving, however they seem to have gone AWOL once again. Sigh. still haven't made it to the gym yet - hoping to drag my ass there later, even for a slow session to ease back into things. We'll see.
I hope everyone is looking forward to enjoying time with family, despite the inevitable stress that comes with the territory!
@Palmer: I'm sorry for your MIL, that's got to be tough for her to not only have to deal with her illness, but having that compounded by the fact she is being precluded from doing something that usually brings her joy. I think she will be so grateful though to have you, your SIL and BIL take the mantle and create a lovely meal for everyone on her behalf. And who knows, maybe she'll enjoy the process of having a meal handed up to her for a change! :-) It sucks about the sporting event - I know that I still have some environments which i just prefer to avoid altogether, and when forced into them, I still get anxious. At least you can plan for it though, and try have some strategies in place to make it more manageable and safeguard yourself and your sobriety (do you think they might have the ingredients to make some killer mocktails?).
I am totally with the theme emerging here of getting our heads around sobriety as a lifestyle after the one year mark, as opposed to a challenge or run against the clock. It's going to take time, but i'm slowly starting to view 'forever' as a positive, rather than a negative, as I continue to see positive changes.
Work is going relatively smoothly with the exception of some contentious issues, and the infamous pending deal that still hasn't come through. They have said that they would make their decision by Thanksgiving, however they seem to have gone AWOL once again. Sigh. still haven't made it to the gym yet - hoping to drag my ass there later, even for a slow session to ease back into things. We'll see.
I hope everyone is looking forward to enjoying time with family, despite the inevitable stress that comes with the territory!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 2,908
HI gang. Just trying to sneak in a few minutes here from in-laws’ place before I have to get on a series of work calls 
. It’s totally bumming me out. It’s one thing to come down and focus on sobriety and enjoying the beautiful views and walks but quite another to not actually get the relaxation part. I was up before 5 and working as soon as I was conscious. Hopefully I can get through some things and then have a bit of a break, though who knows at this point.
NC, I was hoping the deal would be done by now! As I’m sure were you. I sure hope it comes through soon.
PS, I would so be with you on irritation over coordination on cooking and on the sporting event with the suite. It reminds me of the hospitality suite at my conference. Always a place to drink with abandon. But now just a place to realize it’s crowded and hard to talk.
Let’s see. So far it does seem FIL is not drinking. I feel bad not being able to unplug more to talk to him/them but hopefully later today and tomorrow as I said. I had another confrontation with the “friend” and it has really been weighing on me. I let her down and I can see her point but in all her focus on having me walk in her shoes, she doesn’t seem to interested in walking in mine. So I”m trying to figure out how to move on. While dealing with a bunch of crises at work, travel with the fam, irritated husband, in-laws, etc.
Why, I’m just a barrel of thanks and happiness aren’t I?! I guess I need an attitude adjustment. More later!
. It’s totally bumming me out. It’s one thing to come down and focus on sobriety and enjoying the beautiful views and walks but quite another to not actually get the relaxation part. I was up before 5 and working as soon as I was conscious. Hopefully I can get through some things and then have a bit of a break, though who knows at this point. NC, I was hoping the deal would be done by now! As I’m sure were you. I sure hope it comes through soon.
PS, I would so be with you on irritation over coordination on cooking and on the sporting event with the suite. It reminds me of the hospitality suite at my conference. Always a place to drink with abandon. But now just a place to realize it’s crowded and hard to talk.
Let’s see. So far it does seem FIL is not drinking. I feel bad not being able to unplug more to talk to him/them but hopefully later today and tomorrow as I said. I had another confrontation with the “friend” and it has really been weighing on me. I let her down and I can see her point but in all her focus on having me walk in her shoes, she doesn’t seem to interested in walking in mine. So I”m trying to figure out how to move on. While dealing with a bunch of crises at work, travel with the fam, irritated husband, in-laws, etc.
Why, I’m just a barrel of thanks and happiness aren’t I?! I guess I need an attitude adjustment. More later!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 296
Hi friends.
Sorry for the absence. I have missed you all. Despite having the best two reasons in the world to stay sober, my two amazing daughters, I have been feeling weak lately. I suspect this is largely related to my absence and lack of posting. The exhaustion has truly set in, but I know I must make a concerted effort to get here and work on my recovery. This is too important to approach with a lax attitude.
Palmer, congrats on 11 months. I can't believe in such a short time it will be a year. You are living proof that it can be done. How do you feel about your sobriety overall?
Dee, I loved what you said about life in recovery after a year. How it stops being about milestones and just becomes life. I hope to get to that point sooner than later. It helps to think about sobriety as justa normal part of everyday. Thinking about it like that makes it seem less daunting.
Numblady, your comment a while back about searching for reasons to hold babies cracked me up. Definitely a laugh when I needed it.
Newchapter, happy you made it home safely. I hope you have some time to decompress.
Sunflower, I hope you enjoyed or are enjoying Boston. That is one of my all time favorite cities.
I will still attempt to post some pictures of the new baby. She is pretty amazing.
Sorry for the absence. I have missed you all. Despite having the best two reasons in the world to stay sober, my two amazing daughters, I have been feeling weak lately. I suspect this is largely related to my absence and lack of posting. The exhaustion has truly set in, but I know I must make a concerted effort to get here and work on my recovery. This is too important to approach with a lax attitude.
Palmer, congrats on 11 months. I can't believe in such a short time it will be a year. You are living proof that it can be done. How do you feel about your sobriety overall?
Dee, I loved what you said about life in recovery after a year. How it stops being about milestones and just becomes life. I hope to get to that point sooner than later. It helps to think about sobriety as justa normal part of everyday. Thinking about it like that makes it seem less daunting.
Numblady, your comment a while back about searching for reasons to hold babies cracked me up. Definitely a laugh when I needed it.
Newchapter, happy you made it home safely. I hope you have some time to decompress.
Sunflower, I hope you enjoyed or are enjoying Boston. That is one of my all time favorite cities.
I will still attempt to post some pictures of the new baby. She is pretty amazing.
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