Class of November 2018 Part 1
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 660
Good Morning Everyone (from a cold and snowy NH!) :)
Dee74… Me too. Sadly, me too. One day I am sure I will omit the “sadly” from that sentence. But for now, it’s… well, you know.
ClearPath74…That sounds like a great night!
Scott2295… Was your wife supportive?
dafunbra… I’m so glad for you too! It sounds like the rewards are pretty sweet. We gotta bottle THAT good stuff! :)
Bonniefloyd…((( Thank you ))) :)
ReadyAtLast… No! No! NOOO! Are you okay? How are you dealing with the frustration? That would be a very bad situation for me… I hope you are okay!
Ugh. I wonder if it’s the same snow storm we got last night. No school for the kids today. We are 5 hours from NYC.
Strawberry18… Oh, that sounds nice! What are you baking?
Kaily… Great job racking up those days! I’m right behind you! :)
obosob… Nice! Let’s keep racking up those days! :)
Big sigh… I’m tired. It’s a good –I’ve worked really hard this week tired – but it’s a tired feeling, nonetheless, and tired is a frustrating feeling for me. “Tired” was always a big factor that lead to alcohol consumption. I definitely don’t feel like drinking alcohol, but I’m feeling like I need to be “on guard” about this. I also have PMS. Hormones blow.
How did it get to be Friday already? Seriously. I’ll never balk at a weekend, but I’m nowhere near ready in terms of my plans to remain AF (alcohol-free, that is!). (I really wish the younger generation didn’t turn that into an “as f&*K” acronym!) I have a lot of shoveling to do today. I will need to be on the lookout for those, “I’ve worked so hard today. I deserve to go out to eat and have drinks!” thoughts. Yeah, more like “I’ve worked so hard today! I deserve to go out to eat and ensure that I won’t be able to function correctly for another week!” No, thank you. I have to constantly remind myself that no matter what my intentions or wishes, I will NOT become the “normal drinker” I want so badly to be. There will never be “a few drinks”. I will never be able to enjoy “a drink” and I mean that on two levels. Literally (if I choose to be successful on this path) and the fact that one drink has never been enjoyable. It’s not even about having to stop all of the time. Sometimes I have one drink and I’m so aware of how awful it makes me feel, it’s confusing. I hate that fuzzy, tired feeling I get from one drink. Yeah, let’s have another. What? So messed up.
I plan to be back around noon to check-in and share my plan for this weekend!
I hope you all have a WONDERFUL morning (or afternoon/evening, depending)!
Dee74… Me too. Sadly, me too. One day I am sure I will omit the “sadly” from that sentence. But for now, it’s… well, you know.
ClearPath74…That sounds like a great night!
Scott2295… Was your wife supportive?
dafunbra… I’m so glad for you too! It sounds like the rewards are pretty sweet. We gotta bottle THAT good stuff! :)
Bonniefloyd…((( Thank you ))) :)
ReadyAtLast… No! No! NOOO! Are you okay? How are you dealing with the frustration? That would be a very bad situation for me… I hope you are okay!
Ugh. I wonder if it’s the same snow storm we got last night. No school for the kids today. We are 5 hours from NYC.
Strawberry18… Oh, that sounds nice! What are you baking?
Kaily… Great job racking up those days! I’m right behind you! :)
obosob… Nice! Let’s keep racking up those days! :)
Big sigh… I’m tired. It’s a good –I’ve worked really hard this week tired – but it’s a tired feeling, nonetheless, and tired is a frustrating feeling for me. “Tired” was always a big factor that lead to alcohol consumption. I definitely don’t feel like drinking alcohol, but I’m feeling like I need to be “on guard” about this. I also have PMS. Hormones blow.
How did it get to be Friday already? Seriously. I’ll never balk at a weekend, but I’m nowhere near ready in terms of my plans to remain AF (alcohol-free, that is!). (I really wish the younger generation didn’t turn that into an “as f&*K” acronym!) I have a lot of shoveling to do today. I will need to be on the lookout for those, “I’ve worked so hard today. I deserve to go out to eat and have drinks!” thoughts. Yeah, more like “I’ve worked so hard today! I deserve to go out to eat and ensure that I won’t be able to function correctly for another week!” No, thank you. I have to constantly remind myself that no matter what my intentions or wishes, I will NOT become the “normal drinker” I want so badly to be. There will never be “a few drinks”. I will never be able to enjoy “a drink” and I mean that on two levels. Literally (if I choose to be successful on this path) and the fact that one drink has never been enjoyable. It’s not even about having to stop all of the time. Sometimes I have one drink and I’m so aware of how awful it makes me feel, it’s confusing. I hate that fuzzy, tired feeling I get from one drink. Yeah, let’s have another. What? So messed up.
I plan to be back around noon to check-in and share my plan for this weekend!
I hope you all have a WONDERFUL morning (or afternoon/evening, depending)!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 660
ReadyAtLast... Something I have been trying to do lately, when things don't turn out the way I want or expect is to REALLY believe that the Universe has my back and that it's going to work out for the best even if it doesn't feel that way. You know, that old annoying saying, "Everything happens for a reason." I'm trying so hard to just let things be and fall into place as they may. Go with the flow, so to speak. So not my thing! I struggle with controlling my environment, fighting for structure and order... it's not easy. I hope you are able to find moments to relax and not worry too much about the flight. I know you were already having anxiety and I'm sure this didn't help one bit! Sending lots of love and strength your your! ((( RAL )))
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Quick check in no pun intended.
still at airport. Yes delays due to snowstorms in ny. On the bright side I'm so excited to see snow 😀 leaving in 4 hours 7 hours late . I am calm and accepting that it is what it is. No desire to drink
still at airport. Yes delays due to snowstorms in ny. On the bright side I'm so excited to see snow 😀 leaving in 4 hours 7 hours late . I am calm and accepting that it is what it is. No desire to drink
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 1,121
Originally Posted by BreakFree 
Big sigh… I’m tired. It’s a good –I’ve worked really hard this week tired – but it’s a tired feeling, nonetheless, and tired is a frustrating feeling for me. “Tired” was always a big factor that lead to alcohol consumption. I definitely don’t feel like drinking alcohol, but I’m feeling like I need to be “on guard” about this. I also have PMS. Hormones blow.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 1,121
RAL, I hope you can find a few good movies or TV shows to binge watch on the flight. Maybe something relaxing or inspiring to help center you after this mess. I like the way you are looking at the bright side and yes, the snow should be beautiful. Safe travels and thanks for checking in.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 1,121
Day 12 - Pretty much a blank slate today, though I just checked the calendar and remembered that I'm babysitting this weekend. A dachshund and a puggle (pug/beagle mix) are the babies. My daughter travels quite a bit and Dad is the reliable dog-sitter. They can be a bit of a pain, but it is nice to have the company from time to time, even if the company barks and sheds on the furniture.
Will put a plan together this morning, to get some things accomplished today. Among my triggers are laziness, lack of accomplishment, and disorganization. Getting overwhelmed with what needs to be done, but having no plan for actually getting things done. It's 'all or nothing' thinking. So I'm going to work on breaking things down into manageable pieces and making a real effort to accomplish those tasks. Another piece of this recovery plan.
Kaily, don't fear your AV. It has no control over you. Recognize it for what it is. The voice that is afraid to change, that wants to keep things as they are. You are so much stronger than your AV. Believe it. Congrats on Day 16!!!
Strawberry, watcha baking? You know you have to share with your classmates, right?
Good morning to everyone on my side of the pond this morning. Good afternoon to our UK'ers. And I have no clue what time of day it is where Dee resides.
Will put a plan together this morning, to get some things accomplished today. Among my triggers are laziness, lack of accomplishment, and disorganization. Getting overwhelmed with what needs to be done, but having no plan for actually getting things done. It's 'all or nothing' thinking. So I'm going to work on breaking things down into manageable pieces and making a real effort to accomplish those tasks. Another piece of this recovery plan.
Kaily, don't fear your AV. It has no control over you. Recognize it for what it is. The voice that is afraid to change, that wants to keep things as they are. You are so much stronger than your AV. Believe it. Congrats on Day 16!!!
Strawberry, watcha baking? You know you have to share with your classmates, right?
Good morning to everyone on my side of the pond this morning. Good afternoon to our UK'ers. And I have no clue what time of day it is where Dee resides.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 771
RAL, nice job dealing with a super frustrating situation.
breakfree, I have a real tendency to want to “reward” myself for hard work too. It’s always “I deserve ...” But it sounds like you’re keeping it perspective and know what you have to do to keep Mr. AV in line.
Clearpath — aw, have fun with the puppies! Happy day 12.
strawberry — I love baking. So did you bring enough for the whole class?
So, I’m on day 4, which is where i was when I had my last screw up. I really want to make it further this time.
I’m going to the renaissance festival tomorrow. I think I’m ready for it; I can have fun sober. I am kind of worried, actually. I hope I can do this. I always feel overconfident in the mornings, but past experience tells me that I can’t trust myself.
Anyway, must get through today first. I’m going to a thing at my kid’s school, running some errands, out to dinner tonight. I should be okay today.
breakfree, I have a real tendency to want to “reward” myself for hard work too. It’s always “I deserve ...” But it sounds like you’re keeping it perspective and know what you have to do to keep Mr. AV in line.
Clearpath — aw, have fun with the puppies! Happy day 12.
strawberry — I love baking. So did you bring enough for the whole class?
So, I’m on day 4, which is where i was when I had my last screw up. I really want to make it further this time.
I’m going to the renaissance festival tomorrow. I think I’m ready for it; I can have fun sober. I am kind of worried, actually. I hope I can do this. I always feel overconfident in the mornings, but past experience tells me that I can’t trust myself.
Anyway, must get through today first. I’m going to a thing at my kid’s school, running some errands, out to dinner tonight. I should be okay today.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 1,704
Break free and Bonniefloyd - she knows that I have struggled with alcohol in the past but I hide it really well. I don’t think she wants to admit that I have a problem but she understands I am going to abstain from alcohol. We have had a really rough patch in the last two months with her mother passing and having to clear out her mother’s estate. I have to be careful how much I put on her. The last two months provided the stress that prompted my bottoming out and deciding to make a change for good. I usually waited until afternoon for that first drink and when I started at 9am and stretched it all day I knew I had to be done. As time goes on and she heals I will share more with her.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: DC
Posts: 383
Morning all.
Breakfree - I was on MWO, not SMART. It's dwindled down to maybe 25 or so members with very little activity or postings. I don't understand how some forums thrive and others fade out, but I think it has to do with where it pops up in the search engines to attract new members. No problems with that here.
Scott - it's great you told your wife, and I'm guessing she's supportive and behind you. I envy anyone here with a spouse or partner that they can talk to about this. My marriage has disintegrated and likely won't recover from the history of lying, sneaking, hiding, etc. We know that this unfortunately goes with the territory of having an addiction and trying to hide our intake and appear normal to others. My wife has focused more on this behavior as being choices and serious character flaws vs a by-product of having a problem with or addiction to alcohol, and we never discuss the elephant in the room.
Clearpath - yardwork was always a trigger for me, especially when the weather warmed and you can get outside. I had as many stashes in my garage as tools in the past. I don't mow anymore so that was one way to resolve that.
RAL - sorry about your flight. Enjoy your trip, AF or course.
Back to the grind.
Breakfree - I was on MWO, not SMART. It's dwindled down to maybe 25 or so members with very little activity or postings. I don't understand how some forums thrive and others fade out, but I think it has to do with where it pops up in the search engines to attract new members. No problems with that here.
Scott - it's great you told your wife, and I'm guessing she's supportive and behind you. I envy anyone here with a spouse or partner that they can talk to about this. My marriage has disintegrated and likely won't recover from the history of lying, sneaking, hiding, etc. We know that this unfortunately goes with the territory of having an addiction and trying to hide our intake and appear normal to others. My wife has focused more on this behavior as being choices and serious character flaws vs a by-product of having a problem with or addiction to alcohol, and we never discuss the elephant in the room.
Clearpath - yardwork was always a trigger for me, especially when the weather warmed and you can get outside. I had as many stashes in my garage as tools in the past. I don't mow anymore so that was one way to resolve that.
RAL - sorry about your flight. Enjoy your trip, AF or course.
Back to the grind.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 636
Hello guys, I’m on board for this class. I have 5 days under my belt and I’m feeling great to have an sober and productive weekend. I slipped up many times and made matters worst after my mother death that happpened 5 months ago. I just want to be the best version of myself and alcohol is hindering my progress. I’m thankful for this site and I’m looking forward to sobriety
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 771
I’m off the hook for the renaissance festival! Yay! Since our dog can’t come with us, we had to make arrangements for him, and those fell through! Obviously no puppy sitter = no go. My boy saves the day again.
We might still go next weekend, but that gives me a week to get myself more mentally prepared.
Now I just have to get through this weekend. I almost made it last weekend but failed. Must do better.
We might still go next weekend, but that gives me a week to get myself more mentally prepared.
Now I just have to get through this weekend. I almost made it last weekend but failed. Must do better.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 83
Hello Everyone,
l just wanted to check in. I’m on day 17 today. I haven’t been on here much but I am doing good. I have been listening to Annie Grace videos (this naked mind) and I really connect with what she says.
Went out yesterday with my sister and we went to the indoor botanical gardens. It was really nice to be surrounded by beautiful plants and flowers. I got a pass so I can go back any time. Should help my mental health this winter.
We just got a huge dump of snow last night and it’s cold today -12 c
anyway off to get some things done around the house.
Take care everyone
Hope
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 543
Hello all - I'm still lurking. I am really enjoying reading your posts... very active thread!!
I had a meeting last night with a counselor and I expressed a lot of optimism that permanent sobriety is right around the corner... if it hasn't happened already.
I am doing so much reading, journaling, planning, etc., not drinking except for the occasional "slips" now and then (followed by morning anxiety and guilt at an "11"), and I am seeing my future so much more clearly... including my goals of a career change and moving to a Southern Climate.
Without getting into too many specifics (because I did and it made for a super long post), I am totally optimistic and excited for pursuing the above goals but there is a genuine fear about how my spouse would handle it even though it is something we have had planned for a long time.
The counselor said that we (my wife and I) need to start talking more specifics about timeline, plans, etc. as I develop them. Up until now, we've talked only in general terms.
Then, my dreams last night were very vivid and scary... with many recollections of things falling apart. The most vivid one is not being able to go outside to a pool area where it was warm and sunny.
I wonder what this means: Self doubt? Fear of fallout with my spouse? Doesn't matter?
Thanks for reading! Hope you all have a great weekend.
I had a meeting last night with a counselor and I expressed a lot of optimism that permanent sobriety is right around the corner... if it hasn't happened already.
I am doing so much reading, journaling, planning, etc., not drinking except for the occasional "slips" now and then (followed by morning anxiety and guilt at an "11"), and I am seeing my future so much more clearly... including my goals of a career change and moving to a Southern Climate.
Without getting into too many specifics (because I did and it made for a super long post), I am totally optimistic and excited for pursuing the above goals but there is a genuine fear about how my spouse would handle it even though it is something we have had planned for a long time.
The counselor said that we (my wife and I) need to start talking more specifics about timeline, plans, etc. as I develop them. Up until now, we've talked only in general terms.
Then, my dreams last night were very vivid and scary... with many recollections of things falling apart. The most vivid one is not being able to go outside to a pool area where it was warm and sunny.
I wonder what this means: Self doubt? Fear of fallout with my spouse? Doesn't matter?
Thanks for reading! Hope you all have a great weekend.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 543
Originally Posted by Hopeforme2014
I have been listening to Annie Grace videos (this naked mind) and I really connect with what she says.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,315
Thanks for the support breakfree…!!!
Good to see you Ghostface…..
1 week today...…
You little beauty, that's a big thing in the Obosob household....
I have a poster I made on the wall where I tick off another sober day. Last time I got sober for real I ticked off over 15 months.....
An old friend from an old group used to write:
"I never regret not drinking"
Aint that the truth....
I'll be around all weekend.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,429
Hi guys
For anyone new to monthly threads...
just to explain - we close threads at about 500 posts...then immediately open a part 2
Part two for this thread is here:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-2-a.html
D
For anyone new to monthly threads...
just to explain - we close threads at about 500 posts...then immediately open a part 2
Part two for this thread is here:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-2-a.html
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