Class of February 2016 Part 24
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Originally Posted by August252015 
Congrats Jeni!
And I have to share something BIG to me - I know I've told y'all about the industry group I am part of for sober help in food & bev. It was started in Nov 2016 in Charleston, then Raleigh, we estab Atlanta in Mar 2017, Richmond and Minneapolis in 2018 - and launch PORTLAND, OR this coming Tu. I am astounded and grateful and got chills just a bit ago when sharing this coast-to-coast growth on social media. Ben's Friends is such a huge part of my recovery and the fact is that help in the restaurant biz and big time folks getting sober is becoming a greater and greater reality. So humbling to be a part.
Will be checking this thread often as we celebrate 3 on diff days, one day at a time. Love to all.
A
And I have to share something BIG to me - I know I've told y'all about the industry group I am part of for sober help in food & bev. It was started in Nov 2016 in Charleston, then Raleigh, we estab Atlanta in Mar 2017, Richmond and Minneapolis in 2018 - and launch PORTLAND, OR this coming Tu. I am astounded and grateful and got chills just a bit ago when sharing this coast-to-coast growth on social media. Ben's Friends is such a huge part of my recovery and the fact is that help in the restaurant biz and big time folks getting sober is becoming a greater and greater reality. So humbling to be a part.
Will be checking this thread often as we celebrate 3 on diff days, one day at a time. Love to all.
A
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
OOTT - I can't wait to learn more - our two big "faces" on the Board do the first visits and the report is beyond awesome for the kick off. Long term, we want a group in all 50 states (and DC of course, which actually should be done now bc we have restaurants there and boy does it need it 
) then sober living houses. We are meeting with an industry biggie about underwriting us. Amazing.
I also wanted to share that it has been a tough few days! Like, breathe and play Dots on my phone and have ice cream for dinner couple days. Veggies too, but ice cream for reals. The good part is not that I haven't left the house but for BF mtg, it's that for this time in its particular form, I've been able to use the right tools to get thru. Self-reporting to cliff on my anxiety pill intake, asking for specific things I need (this helps him know what to do and pushes me not to tuck into my head like this alcoholic is still quite able to do), hour long video of my yoga instructor's class bc I just haven't wanted to go to the studio, getting cute and dressed fun even if my husband and I are the only ones who see it, and just...accepting this. My fave number is 3 - which in its own multiple is 9- so perhaps my pattern of joy and angst and achievement mixed w equal parts "Yep, k, lets move on" I remember at 9 mo and approaching this Feb 21 is just how I work. Then again, maybe I will be flipping out w joy and charm on the day itself bc...you know, I have ups and downs like any good high strung (ahem) alcoholic
Thanks to you all - we don't post as much as in years past (OMG I just wrote that! years!) but I know you all are here - and living your own best lives, even on the days that are sucky.
A
) then sober living houses. We are meeting with an industry biggie about underwriting us. Amazing.I also wanted to share that it has been a tough few days! Like, breathe and play Dots on my phone and have ice cream for dinner couple days. Veggies too, but ice cream for reals. The good part is not that I haven't left the house but for BF mtg, it's that for this time in its particular form, I've been able to use the right tools to get thru. Self-reporting to cliff on my anxiety pill intake, asking for specific things I need (this helps him know what to do and pushes me not to tuck into my head like this alcoholic is still quite able to do), hour long video of my yoga instructor's class bc I just haven't wanted to go to the studio, getting cute and dressed fun even if my husband and I are the only ones who see it, and just...accepting this. My fave number is 3 - which in its own multiple is 9- so perhaps my pattern of joy and angst and achievement mixed w equal parts "Yep, k, lets move on" I remember at 9 mo and approaching this Feb 21 is just how I work. Then again, maybe I will be flipping out w joy and charm on the day itself bc...you know, I have ups and downs like any good high strung (ahem) alcoholic
Thanks to you all - we don't post as much as in years past (OMG I just wrote that! years!) but I know you all are here - and living your own best lives, even on the days that are sucky.
A
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Hi Febbies!
Thought of you all this am for a possibly strange reason, tho really bc you are always a mental support system even if we don't all post as much.
I lost a friend yesterday, who I met about a decade ago during what we call the Wild Wild West of OG Atlanta Yelp. The Yelp community is something a lot of people don't know about if they just look at it for reviews and restaurant info, etc - but on the ground floor of what has turned into a huge city wide group, we all became friends. B had epilepsy and didn't come out of a seizure - she was 33. My username is August in part bc of my bday - she and I were a day apart and always shared a joke about Leo Love, even as she moved to the other coast. We couldn't have been more different in most ways, with my private school, country club, debutante raised (and looking) self and her upper lip pierced, amazingly tatted, pot-smoking to help seizures (raised eyebrow from me, but whatever ) and wildly talented makeup & wildly "liberal" self somehow bonded.
She had a fierce loyalty and a huge heart and was loved by SO Many People. I got chills just writing that. And remembering how we must have been 32 and 23 when we met.
I'm grateful for her friendship and especially her cheerleading for me these past almost three years. She reminds me to love, and love harder.
Take care -
A
Thought of you all this am for a possibly strange reason, tho really bc you are always a mental support system even if we don't all post as much.
I lost a friend yesterday, who I met about a decade ago during what we call the Wild Wild West of OG Atlanta Yelp. The Yelp community is something a lot of people don't know about if they just look at it for reviews and restaurant info, etc - but on the ground floor of what has turned into a huge city wide group, we all became friends. B had epilepsy and didn't come out of a seizure - she was 33. My username is August in part bc of my bday - she and I were a day apart and always shared a joke about Leo Love, even as she moved to the other coast. We couldn't have been more different in most ways, with my private school, country club, debutante raised (and looking) self and her upper lip pierced, amazingly tatted, pot-smoking to help seizures (raised eyebrow from me, but whatever
) and wildly talented makeup & wildly "liberal" self somehow bonded.She had a fierce loyalty and a huge heart and was loved by SO Many People. I got chills just writing that. And remembering how we must have been 32 and 23 when we met.
I'm grateful for her friendship and especially her cheerleading for me these past almost three years. She reminds me to love, and love harder.
Take care -
A
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,428
Hellooooooo Febbies!
Congrats on #3 OOTT August, Jeni and Bonnie!!.!!!! It seems like just yesterday sometimes, and other times decades ago we started this journey. I'm a few months behind you all but you Febs are my original homies!
OOTT, can you give Badge and Lee a shout out from moi?
Happy to see some familiar faces here and on main boards.
((Dee)))
It's still a lot of work to keep my anxiety in check, but it's not a thought to use alcohol to control it. It's so freeing to be rid of an obsession, right? Always grateful to SR!
Congrats on #3 OOTT August, Jeni and Bonnie!!.!!!! It seems like just yesterday sometimes, and other times decades ago we started this journey. I'm a few months behind you all but you Febs are my original homies!
OOTT, can you give Badge and Lee a shout out from moi?
Happy to see some familiar faces here and on main boards.
((Dee)))
It's still a lot of work to keep my anxiety in check, but it's not a thought to use alcohol to control it. It's so freeing to be rid of an obsession, right? Always grateful to SR!
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
thought of you guys this AM - hope all are well.
Penny, you will always be one of us
Busy week here btw Cliff dealing with major water main burst in the South side of town and 24 schools whose kids couldn't come in....oh, and that ongoing issue of the pot laced Rice Krispie treats some kids brought to school on Valentine's Day...now I know what it's like being a kind of First Lady asked to give public commentary on her husband's decisions...
AND we just launched BF Charlotte, and I am in charge of our first NE group in Beaver, PA...I've had plenty of social media work etc to do this week so everyone is busy. A big thing in diff parts of the country is a wine & food festival of some kind and Charleston started yesterday- we are once again hosting "Zero Proof After Party" fun- it keeps getting bigger attendance each year!
Excited to see what everyone's 4th year of sobriety brings.
Take care of yourselves
A
Penny, you will always be one of us
Busy week here btw Cliff dealing with major water main burst in the South side of town and 24 schools whose kids couldn't come in....oh, and that ongoing issue of the pot laced Rice Krispie treats some kids brought to school on Valentine's Day...now I know what it's like being a kind of First Lady asked to give public commentary on her husband's decisions...
AND we just launched BF Charlotte, and I am in charge of our first NE group in Beaver, PA...I've had plenty of social media work etc to do this week so everyone is busy. A big thing in diff parts of the country is a wine & food festival of some kind and Charleston started yesterday- we are once again hosting "Zero Proof After Party" fun- it keeps getting bigger attendance each year!
Excited to see what everyone's 4th year of sobriety brings.
Take care of yourselves
A
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 3,597
Originally Posted by PennyLane76
Hellooooooo Febbies!
Congrats on #3 OOTT August, Jeni and Bonnie!!.!!!! It seems like just yesterday sometimes, and other times decades ago we started this journey. I'm a few months behind you all but you Febs are my original homies!
OOTT, can you give Badge and Lee a shout out from moi?
Happy to see some familiar faces here and on main boards.
((Dee)))
It's still a lot of work to keep my anxiety in check, but it's not a thought to use alcohol to control it. It's so freeing to be rid of an obsession, right? Always grateful to SR!
Congrats on #3 OOTT August, Jeni and Bonnie!!.!!!! It seems like just yesterday sometimes, and other times decades ago we started this journey. I'm a few months behind you all but you Febs are my original homies!
OOTT, can you give Badge and Lee a shout out from moi?
Happy to see some familiar faces here and on main boards.
((Dee)))
It's still a lot of work to keep my anxiety in check, but it's not a thought to use alcohol to control it. It's so freeing to be rid of an obsession, right? Always grateful to SR!
August, congrats on 3 years! You have done so well and you're helping so many people with Ben Friends!
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Hi friends - special reason to say hi and how grateful I am for y'all - I've shared on some other threads about my 25th reunion and going/not/going/all the dragons this alcoholic has created in her head....but I need to say thank you to everyone here in this group becaus I started this whole recovery life with you and it's one of the reasons I GET to go to a 25th reunion!! Thanks.
Been thinking about OOTT, OT, and Badger and Jeni and PL...some of y'all whom I don't see on threads as much....then again y'all might need to tell me where you are hanging out because I seem to live in the New Posts so that's a lot of newcomer stuff.
OH! And my latest news is a series of podcasts episodes that are coming out from different hosts! And participation in a new project called Restaurant Sobriety Project, and a podcast called Recovery Happy Hour that is testing a group panel version called "Happier Hour" where about 6 people with all diff kinds of sobriety/recovery talk together.
My next episode on a pretty major industry show is out on Tu - the host found me thru Ben's Friends then my "digital footprint" and wanted me on as a woman in recovery in the industry.
Cliff is totally supportive and also helpful in calming me down when my plans to take over the Digital Recovery Planet get sixteen kinds of supercharged!!
Whether I go to the reunion tonight or not, everything from lunch here shortyl w a high school classmate who reached out about his drinking several months ago and who's in town to all this social media stuff even to the stuff working thru with the kids....so much to be grateful for all around.
Take care of yourselves my friends.
A
Been thinking about OOTT, OT, and Badger and Jeni and PL...some of y'all whom I don't see on threads as much....then again y'all might need to tell me where you are hanging out because I seem to live in the New Posts so that's a lot of newcomer stuff.
OH! And my latest news is a series of podcasts episodes that are coming out from different hosts! And participation in a new project called Restaurant Sobriety Project, and a podcast called Recovery Happy Hour that is testing a group panel version called "Happier Hour" where about 6 people with all diff kinds of sobriety/recovery talk together.
My next episode on a pretty major industry show is out on Tu - the host found me thru Ben's Friends then my "digital footprint" and wanted me on as a woman in recovery in the industry.
Cliff is totally supportive and also helpful in calming me down when my plans to take over the Digital Recovery Planet get sixteen kinds of supercharged!!
Whether I go to the reunion tonight or not, everything from lunch here shortyl w a high school classmate who reached out about his drinking several months ago and who's in town to all this social media stuff even to the stuff working thru with the kids....so much to be grateful for all around.
Take care of yourselves my friends.
A
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Hey OOTT!! Was thinking of our group here this wk.
So hard lately reading the tragic situations of some of the new friends on the board.
I know not all of you are AAers but I had a striking experience of how some of us find the program works in its most basic form- helping other people get and stay sober. A friend decided AA wasn't for her and dipped out about 6 mo ago. she sporadically kept in touch but did let me know she was sober. Long story short, she started planning a relapse- on coke, other pills, and a cache of wine, on a weekend away at a casino (gambling was also a problem). She was just past 2 yrs sober. Essentially, she had been convinced she was an alcoholic (mostly) but not an addict so maybe drugs were OK. She didn't find friends that she was comfortable with who "got" her being sober. And so on.
On Tu - she called her former sponsor - then me. I keep my phone on silent 99% of the time but just happened to see the missed call (no msg) as I happily left the hairdresser high on blonde. I called her back and she told me all - she ended up deciding to get rid of all the wine, and not pick up the drugs she had paid for, and go to a meeting with me yesterday. Her level of honesty was what kept her sober and got her to go far enough to ask me to pick her up so she wouldn't bail on the meeting. Last night she told me she canceled the casino plans and is instead doing a staycation with her husband at a great hotel. She decided she needs to be back in AA and find a sponsor again - and get her 2 yr chip at a mtg soon where her old sponsor can be there. I agreed (happily) to go to mtgs when I can that she can be at too, and ask her what's up if she doesn't show.
This gladdens my heart so much. Especially because another sober friend (and incredibly talented chef who is part of Ben's Friends) mourned the anniv of his oldest brother yesterday, who lost this battle. He's 11 yrs sober now.
A few other things have happened- we are launching an Austin TX group in August! That makes 7.
And, meaning this humbly but to share the stunning opportunities and gifts of sobriety...I have 1193 days sober and in the past two months have been invited on three podcasts to either/both tell my story and about /BF....joined an online industry project that is amazing (if interested, see Restaurant Recovery Project . com - all together), launched by a chef and health coach in recovery....
and 2 days ago was interviewed by the LA Times about being one of the only women in our industry talking about recovery. Seriously?! How did I get here? Y'all know the answer
I've had a couple of detailed relapse dreams lately and I need glasses, so everything's not roses...and my step daughter is also going thru An Obscene Outfit Phase...Jesus H On a Piece of Toast my Southern debutante side does backflips in my head...I also got a gut punch, in a good way, about WHAT I am going to do with my life purpose besides the basic 99% life working in recovery. Y'all might guess I like background noise and am IRL chatty- the conversation was with one of the BF founders and about 14 min long, but his questions left me silent without TV or electronic stimuli for about 4 hrs and took me thru the holiday wkd to share with Cliff in bites.
I also had one of my best friends flip the **** out on me yesterday- I woke up to 14 texts- about a harmless comment on FB that apparently ruined her life, career, and emotional well being. Long story short, my gut feeling is fine about how I handled the situation, knowing that her sensitivity level has flipped to extreme overkill on me before, and indeed using my AA inventory to assess my role. I may well have lost this friend- we will see. That's emotionally challenging for sure but I have to let it be.
4th yr is quite different than prior yrs....I have created such a safe and special world, and am likely now called to expand it.
Thanks for listening to all this - and I hope others pipe in soon with what's going on with you!!
Take care-
A
So hard lately reading the tragic situations of some of the new friends on the board.
I know not all of you are AAers but I had a striking experience of how some of us find the program works in its most basic form- helping other people get and stay sober. A friend decided AA wasn't for her and dipped out about 6 mo ago. she sporadically kept in touch but did let me know she was sober. Long story short, she started planning a relapse- on coke, other pills, and a cache of wine, on a weekend away at a casino (gambling was also a problem). She was just past 2 yrs sober. Essentially, she had been convinced she was an alcoholic (mostly) but not an addict so maybe drugs were OK. She didn't find friends that she was comfortable with who "got" her being sober. And so on.
On Tu - she called her former sponsor - then me. I keep my phone on silent 99% of the time but just happened to see the missed call (no msg) as I happily left the hairdresser high on blonde. I called her back and she told me all - she ended up deciding to get rid of all the wine, and not pick up the drugs she had paid for, and go to a meeting with me yesterday. Her level of honesty was what kept her sober and got her to go far enough to ask me to pick her up so she wouldn't bail on the meeting. Last night she told me she canceled the casino plans and is instead doing a staycation with her husband at a great hotel. She decided she needs to be back in AA and find a sponsor again - and get her 2 yr chip at a mtg soon where her old sponsor can be there. I agreed (happily) to go to mtgs when I can that she can be at too, and ask her what's up if she doesn't show.
This gladdens my heart so much. Especially because another sober friend (and incredibly talented chef who is part of Ben's Friends) mourned the anniv of his oldest brother yesterday, who lost this battle. He's 11 yrs sober now.
A few other things have happened- we are launching an Austin TX group in August! That makes 7.
And, meaning this humbly but to share the stunning opportunities and gifts of sobriety...I have 1193 days sober and in the past two months have been invited on three podcasts to either/both tell my story and about /BF....joined an online industry project that is amazing (if interested, see Restaurant Recovery Project . com - all together), launched by a chef and health coach in recovery....
and 2 days ago was interviewed by the LA Times about being one of the only women in our industry talking about recovery. Seriously?! How did I get here? Y'all know the answer
I've had a couple of detailed relapse dreams lately and I need glasses, so everything's not roses...and my step daughter is also going thru An Obscene Outfit Phase...Jesus H On a Piece of Toast my Southern debutante side does backflips in my head...I also got a gut punch, in a good way, about WHAT I am going to do with my life purpose besides the basic 99% life working in recovery. Y'all might guess I like background noise and am IRL chatty- the conversation was with one of the BF founders and about 14 min long, but his questions left me silent without TV or electronic stimuli for about 4 hrs and took me thru the holiday wkd to share with Cliff in bites.
I also had one of my best friends flip the **** out on me yesterday- I woke up to 14 texts- about a harmless comment on FB that apparently ruined her life, career, and emotional well being. Long story short, my gut feeling is fine about how I handled the situation, knowing that her sensitivity level has flipped to extreme overkill on me before, and indeed using my AA inventory to assess my role. I may well have lost this friend- we will see. That's emotionally challenging for sure but I have to let it be.
4th yr is quite different than prior yrs....I have created such a safe and special world, and am likely now called to expand it.
Thanks for listening to all this - and I hope others pipe in soon with what's going on with you!!
Take care-
A
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Hi guys, I forget to check this thread!
All good here, and I’m too very grateful for my sobriety. I’m tackling some deep rooted issues with a counsellor at the moment, which would never have been possible if I was still drinking. Some long lasting effects from an abusive childhood need unpicking. Painful but necessary.
Sometimes I can hardly believe I’m in my 4th year of sobriety. After relapsing over and over for a few years I almost gave up hope.
Life is amazing, even the difficult bits, and when I think of how much I’ve got in my life to be thankful for I can still shed a tear.
Glad you’re both ok and doing well ❤️
All good here, and I’m too very grateful for my sobriety. I’m tackling some deep rooted issues with a counsellor at the moment, which would never have been possible if I was still drinking. Some long lasting effects from an abusive childhood need unpicking. Painful but necessary.
Sometimes I can hardly believe I’m in my 4th year of sobriety. After relapsing over and over for a few years I almost gave up hope.
Life is amazing, even the difficult bits, and when I think of how much I’ve got in my life to be thankful for I can still shed a tear.
Glad you’re both ok and doing well ❤️
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 3,597
Hey Febs, just checking in. I feel very secure in my sobriety, but I remain vigilant. I really don't see any circumstance that I would ever take a drink again, but I am not complacent either.
I hope everything is going well for all of you. I can't say this enough, but this class saved my life. Thanks guys.
I hope everything is going well for all of you. I can't say this enough, but this class saved my life. Thanks guys.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Hey OOTT - wise words, my friend.
Will spare you all long paragraphs and just sum things up to say I am grateful to have first world, sober alcoholic problems and health insurance
I pitched a raise from the small amount I get paid for BF - I've never done that before! Successfully laid out how the work has more than doubled in the past 15 mo and got just over twice my current amount, a flat figure v hourly - that had become super hard to put into 1/4 hr increments as I kept adding social media and coordination for new cities !!
Back surgery looms- pretty accepting and in enough pain that I am eager for the surgeon consult on 11th. Oh and I'm seeing the eye dr on the 3rd because among my first world sober person probs, I can't read the descriptions of TV shows or see what time it is on the microwave clock from more than 6 ft away. Middle age....
Take care of yourselves -
A
Will spare you all long paragraphs and just sum things up to say I am grateful to have first world, sober alcoholic problems and health insurance
I pitched a raise from the small amount I get paid for BF - I've never done that before! Successfully laid out how the work has more than doubled in the past 15 mo and got just over twice my current amount, a flat figure v hourly - that had become super hard to put into 1/4 hr increments as I kept adding social media and coordination for new cities !!
Back surgery looms- pretty accepting and in enough pain that I am eager for the surgeon consult on 11th. Oh and I'm seeing the eye dr on the 3rd because among my first world sober person probs, I can't read the descriptions of TV shows or see what time it is on the microwave clock from more than 6 ft away. Middle age....
Take care of yourselves -
A
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