Daisybelle

Hi all, just taking my little cat to the vets for a check over. Back soon.xxx

snitch

Daisy I hope Lulu is ok x

Viperidae

Viperidae

Dee74

I hope you get it fixed soon Viper - they used to screw me up pretty regularly too and I just had to be grateful I wasn't one of those who were homeless or hungry because of a mistake.

hope all is well with lulu DB

Hi Erratic

D

Daisybelle

Good evening Aprils, I made it back here at last, I just don't know where the day went. I hope you're all okay and working hard at staying sober. It's been a wild and windy, dark, cold winter's day, I think you'll all have guessed that I don't do winter very well, lol.
I took my little cat to the vets for a post op check and she's fine. She's supposed to wear a cone like plastic collar but she's found out how to wriggle out of it, the vet said she's fine though and she hasn't been pulling at her stitches.

Suze, 7 months is amazing, well done you, I'm so proud of you. I knew you could do it. Well done also on doing your first alcohol free passenger flight.
Oooh you've got two more trips to Washington, I may give you a shopping list, lol.

Kelly, thank you for sharing this.....

"Shyness and inhibitions are not negative, yet we've been conditioned to think they are. These emotions protect us, helping us to navigate life with grace. It's not a lot of fun to be shy, but it's normal. Everyone feels it. ..When our talkative nature stems from drinking, it's neither thoughtful nor eloquent. Our brains function at a slower pace and we have fewer filters between our thoughts and our mouths. What we talk about is less filtered and less interesting - not a great combination. "

I spent years thinking I needed alcohol to be fun and loosen up. All it did was cause me to act dumb and have feelings of embarrassment the following day. I loved reading this today because it reminds me that it's ok to be shy or not super outgoing. That I am actually more enjoyable and more lovable sober. I gained great insight this morning and I am so happy to be back to taking care of me and my well being.

That could be me, I am very shy and introvert, part of the reason I drank was to give me confidence to talk to others, when in fact drinking just made a fool out of me.

Hi again Bluesey and thank you for your comments re my son. Sorry to say though and I'm speaking from experience here that my son will not take on board anything that I said to him, it will all go straight over his head unfortunately. He's a narcissist and he is never wrong, he's forever the victim, I should have done what Suze does and remembered the Serenity prayer, I can't change him, but I can change the way I react to him. xx

Hope you're okay Erratic and I hope you have a restful night, you need it to face all those hours tomorrow. Make sure you look after yourself. x

Wow, Kelley, I resonate so much with all you say in your last post about being a people pleaser and your struggle with internalizing how people treat you. That describes me to a T. Thank you for sharing that exercise, I am going to work on that. xx

Great to see you back posting Viper, I was beginning to get worried about you. Duuuuudettes, ha ha ha, love it. The benefit system in this country is abysmal, so you have my full sympathy.
Wow, 137 days is a great achievement, proud of you, you've cracked it.

Lulu is absolutely fine thank you Dee, she's making a rapid recovery, she's back to ambushing me from under the table every time I walk past. x

Well I best get myself off to bed now, it's very late and I'm very tired.

See you all tomorrow, sleep well and loads of love to you all. xx

Viperidae

kgirl41

Sorry you're having a tough time with it Vipe. I hope the lawyer calls tomorrow and has an answer. In the meantime try to let go how that guy treated you. Remember it is HIS problem and we don't want his inability to be a decent human being be the reason you tail spin into stress and depression. You are better than that and stronger than this situation. Hold on to that. Fabulous job on 137 days!!

Daisy - glad Lulu is ok I really loved that from the book and knew so many of us could relate to it. I think many alcoholics start drinking because they feel shy and wanted to feel more outgoing. For me I really let drinking define me and for a really long time I literally thought no one would like me if I didn't drink. Crazy. Now when I think back to so many dumb drunken moments it's like a palm to my face, shake my head moment. Silly me.

Hi Erratic, hope your long days go well. Take care of yourself this weekend.

Hi Suze, enjoy your shopping days here in the states. I have started a bit of xmas shopping but still have a lot left. I just have no idea what to get my kids this year. I love giving presents when I've found the perfect thing but when it's buying crap just to buy crap...not so enjoyable

Remember back in the early days of our sobriety how a Friday was such a scary day?? Friday's after work were forever a trigger for me. I'm so grateful to be in a place now where Friday's don't do that to me anymore and the best part of a Friday is sitting in my rocking chair and catching up on my recorded shows from the week

Have a wonderful weekend everyone. Take care

snitch

Morning everyone,

Just having a cup of tea in bed and quick catch up here before I get ready for work. Ahhhhh how fantastic it is to be hangover free this morning. I can't tell you how many times I dragged myself from my pit, feeling like death, the taste of stale wine on my breath. SHUDDER! I am so, so grateful it is not like that this morning. I don't think I will ever not be grateful for waking up after a proper nights sleep, with no hangover, and free of guilt and shame. Amazing.

Daisy, I am glad Lulu is ok. I am not really a cat person but she is just adorable!!. Yes, the Serenity Prayer is great but sometimes you just need to let someone have it lol.

Viper, uuuhhh how annoying for you. I hope it all gets sorted quickly but you are right, imagine a drink on top of all of that. You are doing so well buddy. Proud of you!

Kgirl, I haven't read Naked Mind but Jason Vale's book is similar. I will re read it soon as these books do tear apart the myths that we need alcohol to enjoy life. In my experience, the longer I am going without alcohol and the clearer my thinking is, I can see just how conditioned I was to think I needed alcohol to enjoy myself, to give me confidence, to allow me to be intimate with men(!), just to live basically! It is quite sad really and I just want to hug the scared, shy little girl I was and tell her it is going to be ok. We are lucky that we are finding this out now. Many never do.

Erratic, I hope you are ok sweets?

Right am gonna get up. I am not going to do much shopping in Washington to be honest. Seren has loads of presents now, she doesn't really need anything else. And I certainly do not need anything. This is a first for me!!! I want to buy her a new dress for Christmas day as we are going out for Christmas lunch but that's all. Wow! Another miracle is occurring lol! I will definitely check to see if there are any AA meetings going on and get there instead. Plus Netflix. I am watching Making a Murderer part 2. It's good.

Have a good day everyone. Stay safe and stay sober

x x

Daisybelle

Good morning April, I hope everyone is well. Please excuse any typos as I haven't brought my reading glasses with me. I'm just sat in the hospital as my husband is having a procedure, we've been here an hour already and were still sat in the waiting room. Once he's been summoned I'll go and get myself a Costa coffee then go and do some food shopping. This afternoon it's the Christmas Fayre at school and all the children have gone in wearing Christmas jumpers in exchange for a cake for the cake stall.
Speak more later. Much love to you all and have the best Friday you can. Xx

kgirl41

Hi Suze, I do love sober mornings, they are the best time to reflect on how GOOD it feels to be sober. Hangover ridden mornings are THE WORST. I never want to go through it again and the best news is that we don't have to!! I'm also watching Making a Murderer 2! That lawyer is amazing....Vipe you need to hire her for your problem

Ok, time to quote Naked Mind again. Came across another part that really resonated. This chapter is about how we used to drink to [supposedly] relieve stress but all it really did was compound our stress and anxiety.

There are really 3 things that cause stress outside of work. The first is something you forgot to do. In this instance write it down and resolve it first opportunity you have. The second is something you realized you messed up. In this case, decide if it's fixable. If yes, write it down, making a note to fix it as soon as possible. If not, make amends with it and let it go. The third is a new idea, if a new idea pops in your head, write it down and act on it the next opportunity you have in the office

For me this is great advice. A lot of my stress does come from work and simply not having what I feel are enough hours in the day to get my work done. Today is a great example. The last two days I have been literally in back to back meetings all day. And again today. My "to do" list is mounting and it's in multiple spots...my email, my notebook, sticky notes on my desk. So I'm stressed because it is swirling around in my mind all of these things I still have to do. So with this advice, today, I am going to take an hour before the meetings start and get it all organized in one place and work on it on Sunday. Then I son't have to worry about it until Sunday AND I'll be caught up by Monday. I already feel better

Have a wonderful day friends.

Viperidae

Viperidae

I talked to the lawyer and it looks like we can solve this. I won’t get into it. It’s totally legitimate. It’s the technicalities that make the difference.

Im still totally beat. Thank god I have family and some help with this, and that sweet lawyer lady.

Talk later,

V

Daisybelle

Just checking in to say goodnight, I apologise for not writing much tonight but I am ridiculously tired. I will catch up with you all tomorrow.

Night night xxxxx

Daisybelle

14.00

Good afternoon my dear Aprils and I hope you're all as good as can be. All okay here, nothing exciting going on but that's fine. Oh I forgot to tell you, I went to the Christmas Fayre at school yesterday and won a bottle of white wine on the Tombola. Only me! Anyway I re-gifted it straight away to my daughter, I didn't want the temptation of that in my cupboard, not sure I could trust myself.

I think we could count on you Viper to find yourself a sweet lady lawyer, lol.I hope she sorts you out ( erm should I rephrase that?).

Good idea to give yourself an hour before your meetings Kelley, it will give you chance to get yourself together, it's hard running a home, looking after a family and working too, cut yourself some slack and look after yourself.

I hope you're having a good weekend Suze, Have you found a Christmas dress for Seren or are you waiting until you go to Washington?

I hope all is good with you too Erratic, don't work too hard and don't be self medicating when you get home. Take care and post soon. xxx

Okay that's it for now, back later hopefully. Much love to you all and have an amazing sober Saturday.

Thought for the day.....

"You are strong for getting out of bed in the morning when it feels like hell. You are brave for doing things even though they scare you or make you anxious. And you are amazing for trying and holding on no matter how hard life gets."

Daisybelle

Hi again, just checking in to say goodnight, I hope you're all enjoying the weekend.

Back tomorrow. Much love to you all. xxx

Viperidae

Erratic

Afternoon all xx

Wow that was an experience and half doing 2 full days lol both evenings the balance wouldn't add up but we are thinking its due to something with the gas card or something, but boss is looking into it and he has said not to worry about it again. So my day off yesterday was needed and i slept alot of it and just tried to relax. I am working this afo but starting late and finish on a sunday hr earlier as i am helping boss out so he can go to a pray meeting. Then i am on again tomo for someones elses afternoon shift and evening. Then i have 2 days off!!!! yay and again back to thurs and fri which i have asked if he can get someone to do friday morn so i dont have to do the morn and also said if he did that i will do the sunday afo for him if he wanted to go to pray meeting again. So anyway enough about work.

Hope u all are having a good weekend and again thinking of you all x

snitch

Hi all. Back from the first part of my Washington trip and in London now for the night. Ok, so I take back what I said about not really wanting to buy much 🤣🤣🤣 got to hotel quite early so went for another target visit and ended up spending $200 whoops. The following day, bath and body works were selling their candles for $8.95!!!! Usually $24.95 and they are the best candles ever, how could I refuse??!!! So off to the mall I go. We used to stay near this mall and I would go a lot years ago, but we had to get a bus and train from the hotel we are in now which was ok. I had forgotten what an amazing mall it was and as soon as I walked in the door something happened to me. I had a rush of dopamine to my brain! I actually felt the change go through me..addict alert!!!!!!!!.I was on a shopping high, I wanted to spend spend spend. It was weird. Anyway, I only had an hour so couldn't do much damage thank goodness.. Got my candles.(Ooh scents like Gingerbread spice, Gooey marshmallow, crushed peppermint candy, mint chocolate. Soooo xmassy and they come in the most beautiful decorated glass.) I also got some of their hand soaps as they are lush too. Then bought a few more bits for my daughter.and a faux fur coat for me!. I defiinitely displayed some addict behaviour though and it is something that will need addressing. After xmas?? Lol.

I also got to an AA.meeting. I went on the Saturday morning at 8am. It was great and well needed. The night before, after shopping, the girl I was shopping with wanted to pop into the hotel bar to see if she could see another crew member. As I walked in I felt the familiar pull/craving/urge and I thought how nice it would be to have a glass of wine and then I went into self pity mode. Oh poor me I can't do this like normal people. Anyway we were literally in there not even a minute and that thought did pass. I have to replace it with extreme gratitude that I am not in the madness anymore. There is no "one" glass of wine for me. Not even a couple. If I had gone in that bar for a drink the best case scenario I could hope for is is that the alcohol would make me feel sleepy and I would just want to pass out. The other possible scenarios could potentially include , continuing to drink with whomever is up for it, going out to a late night bar once the hotel one closes, partying with strangers, possibly waking up next to someone, possibly not even in my own room. Blackout, so I would need to rely on someone else to fill in my nights antics. Waking up with the 4 horsemen on me. Frustration, despair, terror, bewilderment. Sick all day in bed before facing the flight home. Ugh the list goes on. Instead I got into my room, had a shower and a great night sleep, got up and worked out and had a crisp morning walk to my meeting. The meeting was a step one meeting and I needed to hear other alcoholics sharing. It was packed. I am going back there on tues morning when I am on my 2nd part.

I have to have a solid step one. I am completely powerless over alcohol. I cannot and will not ever be able to drink sensibly, moderately or safely. And that is my truth and it is ok. I get so much more in return.

I am going to chill out today. Watch some netflix and have a duvet day. Have a lovely Sunday everyone. X x

Viper, back to back forensics on the HLN channel.in Washington. I got a few in but on my next part am not going out so will have a good binge lol. Love it!!

Viperidae