24 Hour Recovery Connections Part 412
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 2,256
Yay! It's Friday..... such a wonderful day. No offence Monday, Tuesday and all you others but Friday will always be my favourite.
I know that ever since I made the smartest decision ever and stopped drinking, I have been on an exciting journey of healing. But sometimes it feels as though the healing stalls for a while and at other times, I seem to go through a healing boot camp with healing coming at me from all directions. A lot of healing is going on right now.
My childhood home got knocked down last week … most the houses on the street are being demolished. I drove past there the other day and it was really odd seeing a pile of rubble where my home used to be. But I realise it's just bricks and mortar.... a useful reminder in a way that we're all just passing through... nothing lasts forever. Still, I took a photo on my phone to show my husband.
Yesterday I went round to my mum's like I do every week to pick up her post and check everything is ok with her. My mum is only in her 60s but myself and my siblings have always done everything for her.... ever since we were kids. Since dad died, I file all her post, make sure her bills are paid etc. There is and has never been any emotional connection between us... it's just the way it is. Anyway, yesterday I went round there to get her post and I showed her the photo of our old home. I figured she might be interested to see what's happened to the house she lived in for 30 years. She looked at the photo and then said, 'I really want a rocking chair. Can you get me a white rocking chair?'. What?? Where did that come from? And then it struck me. All my life I've blamed myself for the fact I have no emotional connection with my mother but it's got nothing to do with me. She has no emotional connection to anything. And suddenly it all makes sense. This explains why she's never remembered my birthday or asked me anything about my life. From her point of view, she is as emotionally attached to me, her daughter, as she is to the person who comes in and reads the electricity meter, for example. And it's probably not her fault. She's the product of her experiences and unlike me, she doesn't seem willing or able to heal. And that makes me feel sad. For her. Not me. I'm going to be ok.
So, now I'm going to spend 10 minutes of my lunch hour googling 'white rocking chairs' and not a minute more. Because if I spend 10 minutes or 10 hours, I know I will never receive a word of thanks. And that's ok. Because finally I see that it's not about me.
Congrats to everyone celebrating a milestone today and love to everyone. 24 more for me please xxxx
I know that ever since I made the smartest decision ever and stopped drinking, I have been on an exciting journey of healing. But sometimes it feels as though the healing stalls for a while and at other times, I seem to go through a healing boot camp with healing coming at me from all directions. A lot of healing is going on right now.
My childhood home got knocked down last week … most the houses on the street are being demolished. I drove past there the other day and it was really odd seeing a pile of rubble where my home used to be. But I realise it's just bricks and mortar.... a useful reminder in a way that we're all just passing through... nothing lasts forever. Still, I took a photo on my phone to show my husband.
Yesterday I went round to my mum's like I do every week to pick up her post and check everything is ok with her. My mum is only in her 60s but myself and my siblings have always done everything for her.... ever since we were kids. Since dad died, I file all her post, make sure her bills are paid etc. There is and has never been any emotional connection between us... it's just the way it is. Anyway, yesterday I went round there to get her post and I showed her the photo of our old home. I figured she might be interested to see what's happened to the house she lived in for 30 years. She looked at the photo and then said, 'I really want a rocking chair. Can you get me a white rocking chair?'. What?? Where did that come from? And then it struck me. All my life I've blamed myself for the fact I have no emotional connection with my mother but it's got nothing to do with me. She has no emotional connection to anything. And suddenly it all makes sense. This explains why she's never remembered my birthday or asked me anything about my life. From her point of view, she is as emotionally attached to me, her daughter, as she is to the person who comes in and reads the electricity meter, for example. And it's probably not her fault. She's the product of her experiences and unlike me, she doesn't seem willing or able to heal. And that makes me feel sad. For her. Not me. I'm going to be ok.
So, now I'm going to spend 10 minutes of my lunch hour googling 'white rocking chairs' and not a minute more. Because if I spend 10 minutes or 10 hours, I know I will never receive a word of thanks. And that's ok. Because finally I see that it's not about me.
Congrats to everyone celebrating a milestone today and love to everyone. 24 more for me please xxxx
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 1,137
Checking in for today!
Congrats Minion and the others!
And welcome GreenSweater, I do own 2 olive coloured jumpers that I am quite fond of!
Kenton, I always love reading your posts! <3
I've slept for an unreasonable amount of hours but I think I needed it. It's great to feel not completely drained of energy for a moment.
The temperatures are above 20C again and it's sunny outside, so after another cup of tea I'll head out for a walk and see if I can find my cat friend.
I feel weirdly excited and emotional during the last couple of days, I wonder if that's because I'm approaching a big milestone or if there's another reason to it...
Congrats Minion and the others!
And welcome GreenSweater, I do own 2 olive coloured jumpers that I am quite fond of!
Kenton, I always love reading your posts! <3
I've slept for an unreasonable amount of hours but I think I needed it. It's great to feel not completely drained of energy for a moment.
The temperatures are above 20C again and it's sunny outside, so after another cup of tea I'll head out for a walk and see if I can find my cat friend.
I feel weirdly excited and emotional during the last couple of days, I wonder if that's because I'm approaching a big milestone or if there's another reason to it...
EnjoyingTheJourney
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 3,847
24 more for me please!
Congratulations to everyone celebrating a Milestone!!
As our dear Leigh would say - This is No Small Thing We Do!! Hope you and Mr. Leigh are feeling a bit better......
Kenton - You have a true gift and I love reading your posts.
"Because finally I see that it's not about me."
^^^^This is a cornerstone of my sobriety.
Wishing everyone a peaceful and sober day or night with love.....xxxx
Congratulations to everyone celebrating a Milestone!!
As our dear Leigh would say - This is No Small Thing We Do!! Hope you and Mr. Leigh are feeling a bit better......
Kenton - You have a true gift and I love reading your posts.
"Because finally I see that it's not about me."
^^^^This is a cornerstone of my sobriety.
Wishing everyone a peaceful and sober day or night with love.....xxxx
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 1,137
Originally Posted by julietUK 
Afternoon all. Its 2.30pm here in the UK. Am very late signing in today. Am in the middle of a house move but still not losing my priority! Please count me in for another 24 hours sober and clean.
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