Class of August 2018 Part 5
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 2,279
Originally Posted by Aliceiw 
Hey all!
I was going to post after deciding to move to the September group. Then I read a few of the posts on here and thought maybe I'd better not considering all of the feelings that seem to have gotten stirred up.
Unsupportive? A bad teammate? Flawed moral template? Gee wiz, guys. I just want to work on my sobriety in the way that I think is best for me. And when Dee mentioned reasons for moving, it seemed like a good idea. I did slip in early September, so I'm just keeping things honest.
I'm still around, still read in here and will continue to do so if I'm allowed. I want to keep up with all of your progress -- especially worried about ODAAT and hoping your frustrating, scary situation resolves in a positive way soon!
Be well all!
I was going to post after deciding to move to the September group. Then I read a few of the posts on here and thought maybe I'd better not considering all of the feelings that seem to have gotten stirred up.
Unsupportive? A bad teammate? Flawed moral template? Gee wiz, guys. I just want to work on my sobriety in the way that I think is best for me. And when Dee mentioned reasons for moving, it seemed like a good idea. I did slip in early September, so I'm just keeping things honest.
I'm still around, still read in here and will continue to do so if I'm allowed. I want to keep up with all of your progress -- especially worried about ODAAT and hoping your frustrating, scary situation resolves in a positive way soon!
Be well all!
I would love to see you pop in every now and again and let us know how you are doing, or we can likewise jump over and read September.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: London, UK
Posts: 165
Originally Posted by Barbs
Hey David and darkling, when my son was 15 he would only dress in black, was diagnosed with sever depression and was self-mutilating. Oh, and jumped off a moving train(35 mph). He managed to pull himself together and go to college. He's now 28, a software engineer, just got married to a wonderful girl and is about to buy his first house for $1 million. Hang in there, they do grow up eventually 
Karen, I'm so glad you're back. Please post away. Posting in September might be helpful for you too, but please post here too
I skipped spin class this morning but went to yoga tonight. My back has been bothering me since yesterday. I think I hurt it doing dead lifts
I'm putting ice on it and how it will be better in the morning.
Heading to bed. Good night all.
Karen, I'm so glad you're back. Please post away. Posting in September might be helpful for you too, but please post here too
I skipped spin class this morning but went to yoga tonight. My back has been bothering me since yesterday. I think I hurt it doing dead lifts
I'm putting ice on it and how it will be better in the morning.
Heading to bed. Good night all.
They just have to find their own way in life, with our support.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 1,287
Good morning all you sweethearts! Thursday morning here already.
Itsbeen: Thanks for your info about AA. I am so happy it is helping you.
Bob: 42 days, good for you , keep hanging in there. Hills 41 !!
Karen: May I say again how happy I am that you are back. While away, you were in my thoughts so very much. I am sorry that you have been going through a rough patch – I thought that was what was going on – but just glad you’re back online and able to connect. We are here for you. And it goes without saying that you stay here – you are part of our class !!
Quit: you are doing so well ! Look at you go ! Yes, the emotional rollercoaster … mmm … I can relate to that.
UncleM: I love to see you right on track . You are nailing it!!
Red; You were very much in my thoughts yesterday. I hope you are feeling better today and hope you were not subjected to any further upsetting arguments. Do you have someplace else to go if it happens again, or if you feel you need to get away ? Don’t sacrifice your sobriety for the sake of keeping the peace, please?
Darkling: 3 k is not pathetic at all !!! I would be proud if it were me. About motherhood : oh dear, I could start a whole separate thread on this topic. But …
Yes, you might be struggling, but no, don’t feel you keep getting it wrong. You are doing what you are doing, as best as you can, whenever you can. Not all of us are born as the maternal type – and there’s nothing wrong with that – but that doesn’t make you less of a mother, or a worse mother than someone who is the maternal type. I am one of those , and I had exactly the same struggles as you are experiencing.
And guess what : none of us ever gets it “right” . But we keep going. Good thing to remember is, “this too shall pass”. Their phases don’t stop – ever. Mine are 19 and 23 – and they still have their phase-moments. I laughed when you said you’re afraid she’ll end up on the streets. Oh Darkling, that won’t happen. Not with a mother like you.
School – another subject for a whole separate thread – I told my kids I know it sucks, but so does having to work and keeping a job. And that school is like a job. Their job, for now. Just get it done. I never expected A grades from them – and they often surprised me by doing very well (maybe because they felt I didn’t expect it, and wanted to prove me wrong?) It is a phase – and once she feels the freedom of studying something she is actually interested in – after school – you will be surprised at how her attitude changes. Hang in there . You are doing a great job!! And remember she is going through huge hormonal changes at he moment . To sum up : This too shall pass. Never act surprised when she tells you something. And lots of love and hugs – even if she shrugs you off – keep at it.
And as David said , making sure they become good humans rather than good students … I second that.
Barbs – he jumped off a moving train?? – Oh my poor heart – he’s put you through your paces, hasn’t he – and look at him now !!! I’m with you on the painful back – horrible – hope the ice helps – I’ve been hobbling around like a 90yr old here.
Suze – hang in there, girl . You can do it. Can't wait to hear all about it. You always have such interesting musings when you get back and reflect on it.
Dear Tony
– thinking of you . Really hope to hear from you soon. I don’t need to say this, because you know, but I’ll say it anyway : No need to go through this alone – we are here for you !!
Itsbeen: Thanks for your info about AA. I am so happy it is helping you.
Bob: 42 days, good for you , keep hanging in there. Hills 41 !!
Karen: May I say again how happy I am that you are back. While away, you were in my thoughts so very much. I am sorry that you have been going through a rough patch – I thought that was what was going on – but just glad you’re back online and able to connect. We are here for you. And it goes without saying that you stay here – you are part of our class !!
Quit: you are doing so well ! Look at you go ! Yes, the emotional rollercoaster … mmm … I can relate to that.
UncleM: I love to see you right on track . You are nailing it!!
Red; You were very much in my thoughts yesterday. I hope you are feeling better today and hope you were not subjected to any further upsetting arguments. Do you have someplace else to go if it happens again, or if you feel you need to get away ? Don’t sacrifice your sobriety for the sake of keeping the peace, please?
Darkling: 3 k is not pathetic at all !!! I would be proud if it were me. About motherhood : oh dear, I could start a whole separate thread on this topic. But …
“I am struggling so much with being a mother, I just keep getting it wrong.”
And guess what : none of us ever gets it “right” . But we keep going. Good thing to remember is, “this too shall pass”. Their phases don’t stop – ever. Mine are 19 and 23 – and they still have their phase-moments. I laughed when you said you’re afraid she’ll end up on the streets. Oh Darkling, that won’t happen. Not with a mother like you.
School – another subject for a whole separate thread – I told my kids I know it sucks, but so does having to work and keeping a job. And that school is like a job. Their job, for now. Just get it done. I never expected A grades from them – and they often surprised me by doing very well (maybe because they felt I didn’t expect it, and wanted to prove me wrong?) It is a phase – and once she feels the freedom of studying something she is actually interested in – after school – you will be surprised at how her attitude changes. Hang in there . You are doing a great job!! And remember she is going through huge hormonal changes at he moment . To sum up : This too shall pass. Never act surprised when she tells you something. And lots of love and hugs – even if she shrugs you off – keep at it.
And as David said , making sure they become good humans rather than good students … I second that.
Barbs – he jumped off a moving train?? – Oh my poor heart – he’s put you through your paces, hasn’t he – and look at him now !!! I’m with you on the painful back – horrible – hope the ice helps – I’ve been hobbling around like a 90yr old here.
Suze – hang in there, girl . You can do it. Can't wait to hear all about it. You always have such interesting musings when you get back and reflect on it.
Dear Tony
– thinking of you . Really hope to hear from you soon. I don’t need to say this, because you know, but I’ll say it anyway : No need to go through this alone – we are here for you !!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 1,287
Sozzled shopping
Me again...
Yesterday evening I sat thinking of how my world has changed in just 34 days. Could be a book title …“How to change your world in just 34 days” by the Lemon Tree Lady 😊
There are many things that have changed, but I kept being drawn back to my shopping experiences. Comparing the then and now. I was actually so embarrassed with what came to mind.
Living in a smallish town, we all tend to shop for groceries at the same few stores. I used to do my shopping late in the day – because I didn’t have time earlier –Liar ! because it interfered with my drinking time. (Ashamed face). My friends and aquaintances who also shopped late, did so because that’s when they finished their full, productive working day ! Me , uhm… I also had a full working day, but working from home !! Enabling myself to have little sips throughout the day, topping up to be able to cope, highly functioning (haha-so I thought), not fall down drunk (uhm …not walking very straight either),piddly for sure.
I mostly had to go to the store to always get much needed onions for the gourmet meal I was planning. (Not !!) Sure you can read between the lines? (But sometimes I honestly did need onions.)
Arriving at the store, I had to do a quick recce – is there someone here I know? And more often than not, there was. I always felt I’d made it this far, might as well not turn around and go home. Thus my performance began. Digging in my bag for some mints. Running my fingers underneath my eyes to get rid of smudged mascara, a quick flip of the the hair, and then entering the lion’s den. Oh, and of course - lipstick - a girls best friend ... stuff the diamonds.
Now, if they were in the veggie section, I had to negotiate my way to the opposite part of the store, to the aisles where I didn’t need to be. And keep peeping around corners to see where they were. (I must have looked very suspicious to the security guards). Once they moved from the veggie section (remember, I really had to get onions!), I scuttled back there. And then I’d see someone else I know walk in – same procedure.
Giving up on the onions, and with them being in other aisles, it was safe to go to the wine section. If no-one was around, it was easy, (I’d grab my usual in one quick motion), if someone was, I would do the Atlas Shrugged pose – the fingers on the chin – pondering, pretending to look for a specific bottle for a special occasion.
Then, being trapped in an aisle with someone I knew, approaching, I would try and use the onions (which I didn’t have) to hide the 3 bottles of vino, and my face into a shelf, bent forwards, and start reading the ingredients on a pickle jar. Anything, to not have to greet them and exchange pleasantries.
It was mind numbingly difficult. It took SO much mental and physical energy. If I did get cornered, and had to talk to them … the dance began... I had to keep stepping back from them as they stepped closer (the mints can only do so much, you know), and I had to mention some or other allergy (out of the blue, without them asking, to explain my red, rheumy eyes and smudged make-up). And I was always in SUCH a hurry – “Sorry, but I’m late, you know, lots to do … have to rush, cheerio” …
Then getting to the check out – phew – made it !!! She approaches – going to stand behind me in the queue – spin around – off I go – “sorry, I forgot to get onions”... Oh man ! No, No, No, what utter madness? Totally exhausted I finally paid and tottered off with sweat on my brow and upper lip.
Out at last, made it to the car, big sigh, drive home – oh noooohhhh – I forgot to get MILK !!!
Happy days, those were.
So, as far as gratitude lists go, sober shopping is very high up on mine.
Now, walking into the store with unsmudged mascara and a fresh breath – I search for someone I know.Now I’m the trolley-pushing lady racing down aisles to catch up to them, with only fresh and healthy produce proudly exposed – waving and yoo-hoo’ing to catch their attention and willing them to stand close to me. Only to be greeted with : “Sorry, but I’m late, you know, lots to do … have to rush, cheerio” …
Bummer !!!
Yesterday evening I sat thinking of how my world has changed in just 34 days. Could be a book title …“How to change your world in just 34 days” by the Lemon Tree Lady 😊
There are many things that have changed, but I kept being drawn back to my shopping experiences. Comparing the then and now. I was actually so embarrassed with what came to mind.
Living in a smallish town, we all tend to shop for groceries at the same few stores. I used to do my shopping late in the day – because I didn’t have time earlier –Liar ! because it interfered with my drinking time. (Ashamed face). My friends and aquaintances who also shopped late, did so because that’s when they finished their full, productive working day ! Me , uhm… I also had a full working day, but working from home !! Enabling myself to have little sips throughout the day, topping up to be able to cope, highly functioning (haha-so I thought), not fall down drunk (uhm …not walking very straight either),piddly for sure.
I mostly had to go to the store to always get much needed onions for the gourmet meal I was planning. (Not !!) Sure you can read between the lines? (But sometimes I honestly did need onions.)
Arriving at the store, I had to do a quick recce – is there someone here I know? And more often than not, there was. I always felt I’d made it this far, might as well not turn around and go home. Thus my performance began. Digging in my bag for some mints. Running my fingers underneath my eyes to get rid of smudged mascara, a quick flip of the the hair, and then entering the lion’s den. Oh, and of course - lipstick - a girls best friend ... stuff the diamonds.
Now, if they were in the veggie section, I had to negotiate my way to the opposite part of the store, to the aisles where I didn’t need to be. And keep peeping around corners to see where they were. (I must have looked very suspicious to the security guards). Once they moved from the veggie section (remember, I really had to get onions!), I scuttled back there. And then I’d see someone else I know walk in – same procedure.
Giving up on the onions, and with them being in other aisles, it was safe to go to the wine section. If no-one was around, it was easy, (I’d grab my usual in one quick motion), if someone was, I would do the Atlas Shrugged pose – the fingers on the chin – pondering, pretending to look for a specific bottle for a special occasion.
Then, being trapped in an aisle with someone I knew, approaching, I would try and use the onions (which I didn’t have) to hide the 3 bottles of vino, and my face into a shelf, bent forwards, and start reading the ingredients on a pickle jar. Anything, to not have to greet them and exchange pleasantries.
It was mind numbingly difficult. It took SO much mental and physical energy. If I did get cornered, and had to talk to them … the dance began... I had to keep stepping back from them as they stepped closer (the mints can only do so much, you know), and I had to mention some or other allergy (out of the blue, without them asking, to explain my red, rheumy eyes and smudged make-up). And I was always in SUCH a hurry – “Sorry, but I’m late, you know, lots to do … have to rush, cheerio” …
Then getting to the check out – phew – made it !!! She approaches – going to stand behind me in the queue – spin around – off I go – “sorry, I forgot to get onions”... Oh man ! No, No, No, what utter madness? Totally exhausted I finally paid and tottered off with sweat on my brow and upper lip.
Out at last, made it to the car, big sigh, drive home – oh noooohhhh – I forgot to get MILK !!!
Happy days, those were.
So, as far as gratitude lists go, sober shopping is very high up on mine.
Now, walking into the store with unsmudged mascara and a fresh breath – I search for someone I know.Now I’m the trolley-pushing lady racing down aisles to catch up to them, with only fresh and healthy produce proudly exposed – waving and yoo-hoo’ing to catch their attention and willing them to stand close to me. Only to be greeted with : “Sorry, but I’m late, you know, lots to do … have to rush, cheerio” …
Bummer !!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: London, UK
Posts: 165
Originally Posted by Ayers
Me again...
Yesterday evening I sat thinking of how my world has changed in just 34 days. Could be a book title …“How to change your world in just 34 days” by the Lemon Tree Lady 😊
There are many things that have changed, but I kept being drawn back to my shopping experiences. Comparing the then and now. I was actually so embarrassed with what came to mind.
Living in a smallish town, we all tend to shop for groceries at the same few stores. I used to do my shopping late in the day – because I didn’t have time earlier –Liar ! because it interfered with my drinking time. (Ashamed face). My friends and aquaintances who also shopped late, did so because that’s when they finished their full, productive working day ! Me , uhm… I also had a full working day, but working from home !! Enabling myself to have little sips throughout the day, topping up to be able to cope, highly functioning (haha-so I thought), not fall down drunk (uhm …not walking very straight either),piddly for sure.
I mostly had to go to the store to always get much needed onions for the gourmet meal I was planning. (Not !!) Sure you can read between the lines? (But sometimes I honestly did need onions.)
Arriving at the store, I had to do a quick recce – is there someone here I know? And more often than not, there was. I always felt I’d made it this far, might as well not turn around and go home. Thus my performance began. Digging in my bag for some mints. Running my fingers underneath my eyes to get rid of smudged mascara, a quick flip of the the hair, and then entering the lion’s den. Oh, and of course - lipstick - a girls best friend ... stuff the diamonds.
Now, if they were in the veggie section, I had to negotiate my way to the opposite part of the store, to the aisles where I didn’t need to be. And keep peeping around corners to see where they were. (I must have looked very suspicious to the security guards). Once they moved from the veggie section (remember, I really had to get onions!), I scuttled back there. And then I’d see someone else I know walk in – same procedure.
Giving up on the onions, and with them being in other aisles, it was safe to go to the wine section. If no-one was around, it was easy, (I’d grab my usual in one quick motion), if someone was, I would do the Atlas Shrugged pose – the fingers on the chin – pondering, pretending to look for a specific bottle for a special occasion.
Then, being trapped in an aisle with someone I knew, approaching, I would try and use the onions (which I didn’t have) to hide the 3 bottles of vino, and my face into a shelf, bent forwards, and start reading the ingredients on a pickle jar. Anything, to not have to greet them and exchange pleasantries.
It was mind numbingly difficult. It took SO much mental and physical energy. If I did get cornered, and had to talk to them … the dance began... I had to keep stepping back from them as they stepped closer (the mints can only do so much, you know), and I had to mention some or other allergy (out of the blue, without them asking, to explain my red, rheumy eyes and smudged make-up). And I was always in SUCH a hurry – “Sorry, but I’m late, you know, lots to do … have to rush, cheerio” …
Then getting to the check out – phew – made it !!! She approaches – going to stand behind me in the queue – spin around – off I go – “sorry, I forgot to get onions”... Oh man ! No, No, No, what utter madness? Totally exhausted I finally paid and tottered off with sweat on my brow and upper lip.
Out at last, made it to the car, big sigh, drive home – oh noooohhhh – I forgot to get MILK !!!
Happy days, those were.
So, as far as gratitude lists go, sober shopping is very high up on mine.
Now, walking into the store with unsmudged mascara and a fresh breath – I search for someone I know.Now I’m the trolley-pushing lady racing down aisles to catch up to them, with only fresh and healthy produce proudly exposed – waving and yoo-hoo’ing to catch their attention and willing them to stand close to me. Only to be greeted with : “Sorry, but I’m late, you know, lots to do … have to rush, cheerio” …
Bummer !!!
Yesterday evening I sat thinking of how my world has changed in just 34 days. Could be a book title …“How to change your world in just 34 days” by the Lemon Tree Lady 😊
There are many things that have changed, but I kept being drawn back to my shopping experiences. Comparing the then and now. I was actually so embarrassed with what came to mind.
Living in a smallish town, we all tend to shop for groceries at the same few stores. I used to do my shopping late in the day – because I didn’t have time earlier –Liar ! because it interfered with my drinking time. (Ashamed face). My friends and aquaintances who also shopped late, did so because that’s when they finished their full, productive working day ! Me , uhm… I also had a full working day, but working from home !! Enabling myself to have little sips throughout the day, topping up to be able to cope, highly functioning (haha-so I thought), not fall down drunk (uhm …not walking very straight either),piddly for sure.
I mostly had to go to the store to always get much needed onions for the gourmet meal I was planning. (Not !!) Sure you can read between the lines? (But sometimes I honestly did need onions.)
Arriving at the store, I had to do a quick recce – is there someone here I know? And more often than not, there was. I always felt I’d made it this far, might as well not turn around and go home. Thus my performance began. Digging in my bag for some mints. Running my fingers underneath my eyes to get rid of smudged mascara, a quick flip of the the hair, and then entering the lion’s den. Oh, and of course - lipstick - a girls best friend ... stuff the diamonds.
Now, if they were in the veggie section, I had to negotiate my way to the opposite part of the store, to the aisles where I didn’t need to be. And keep peeping around corners to see where they were. (I must have looked very suspicious to the security guards). Once they moved from the veggie section (remember, I really had to get onions!), I scuttled back there. And then I’d see someone else I know walk in – same procedure.
Giving up on the onions, and with them being in other aisles, it was safe to go to the wine section. If no-one was around, it was easy, (I’d grab my usual in one quick motion), if someone was, I would do the Atlas Shrugged pose – the fingers on the chin – pondering, pretending to look for a specific bottle for a special occasion.
Then, being trapped in an aisle with someone I knew, approaching, I would try and use the onions (which I didn’t have) to hide the 3 bottles of vino, and my face into a shelf, bent forwards, and start reading the ingredients on a pickle jar. Anything, to not have to greet them and exchange pleasantries.
It was mind numbingly difficult. It took SO much mental and physical energy. If I did get cornered, and had to talk to them … the dance began... I had to keep stepping back from them as they stepped closer (the mints can only do so much, you know), and I had to mention some or other allergy (out of the blue, without them asking, to explain my red, rheumy eyes and smudged make-up). And I was always in SUCH a hurry – “Sorry, but I’m late, you know, lots to do … have to rush, cheerio” …
Then getting to the check out – phew – made it !!! She approaches – going to stand behind me in the queue – spin around – off I go – “sorry, I forgot to get onions”... Oh man ! No, No, No, what utter madness? Totally exhausted I finally paid and tottered off with sweat on my brow and upper lip.
Out at last, made it to the car, big sigh, drive home – oh noooohhhh – I forgot to get MILK !!!
Happy days, those were.
So, as far as gratitude lists go, sober shopping is very high up on mine.
Now, walking into the store with unsmudged mascara and a fresh breath – I search for someone I know.Now I’m the trolley-pushing lady racing down aisles to catch up to them, with only fresh and healthy produce proudly exposed – waving and yoo-hoo’ing to catch their attention and willing them to stand close to me. Only to be greeted with : “Sorry, but I’m late, you know, lots to do … have to rush, cheerio” …
Bummer !!!
This really made me laugh. I know in a way it’s not funny but it is so good that we can see the humour in our past deeds. I don’t live in a small town but used 4 different stores nearest to my house. I would get my Friday and saturday “evening drinks” from the one just across the road. And use the others to top up when I needed to. On top of that the multitude of pubs on my travels. I though I was being some kind of James Bond type spy and no one would notice. What a fool!
Whether they did or not doesn’t matter. I don’t need to keep a mental inventory any more to make sure they “dont find out”. It is a freedom that I enjoy so much. Even when I went across the road I did the same kind of posturing that you describe if people were in their. The shop is tiny. I would make clever distracting conversation with the guy who runs the shop, even when I went in there for a couple more because I had run out or was too drunk to be bothered to go further for it. I think I may have been less of a James Bond the later in the day it was.
Thanks so much for your story. Perhaps this can be a day of us sharing our crazy moves with each other and having a bit of fun with it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: In the Country
Posts: 530
Hello Augustonians,Sorry not to have been posting much over the last few days. Post holiday blues have struck and also the heavy cold from hell......what can I expect after leaving a very hot country to return to our rather much colder abode. Anyway,enough of the moaning, I am sober and that's all that matters today.
Ayres, thank you for that stonking post...I was sat here nodding in agreement and laughing so hard, I'm sure I startled the postman. I am also sure I shall scare a few people in the village today and other days by chuckling about it at random moments when going about my daily doings.
Honestly first big belly laugh for me in a long time. 
Quite a bit of change here, but I suppose that's a constant, things change and we all adapt with it.
I am grateful to be here with you all, sharing the smiles,tears,fears, hopes and dreams and not feeling alone in my nutty head.
Have as good a day as is possible Augustonians, Love to you all, SP
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 451
Good morning!
Happy 31 Days, QuitNow … me too! I'll watch for those emotional feelings you describe. And for those of you like Hills and StartingOver who are a little bit ahead of me, you are my inspiration. I always think, "If they can do it, I can do it."
Karen, I'm sorry you're struggling, but so so happy you're here! Just focus on getting through each day, and while you're hanging in there for your son, don't forget to be kind and caring to yourself. The best thing you can do for him is be your own best person! (sorry, kind of preachy …)
Darkling, the fact that you worry about being a good mom makes me think you're a very good mom. I laugh thinking about my own 'mom' years. I did everything wrong! I had no idea what I was doing. But I loved my kids madly, and that's the one thing they could always count on. They're grown and wonderful, and we were recently talking about their childhood. They described me as 'enthusiastic,' and 'fun,' and 'always there for everything.' I don't think they even noticed that I was making it all up as we went along! So just keep loving, and caring, and standing there when she needs you. You're doing great.
Barbs, you are an inspiration. Your story of your son is so moving. Hope your back is better! I've been so busy that working out is on the back-burner; that's gotta change!
Hello Sober, Dee, DavidBrown, TooLong, Dear Suze, Mike (or if I mean business, Michael), Bob (hope you feel less overwhelmed), Ayres, Tony, Red, and everyone I'm missing!
Happy 31 Days, QuitNow … me too! I'll watch for those emotional feelings you describe. And for those of you like Hills and StartingOver who are a little bit ahead of me, you are my inspiration. I always think, "If they can do it, I can do it."
Karen, I'm sorry you're struggling, but so so happy you're here! Just focus on getting through each day, and while you're hanging in there for your son, don't forget to be kind and caring to yourself. The best thing you can do for him is be your own best person! (sorry, kind of preachy …)
Darkling, the fact that you worry about being a good mom makes me think you're a very good mom. I laugh thinking about my own 'mom' years. I did everything wrong! I had no idea what I was doing. But I loved my kids madly, and that's the one thing they could always count on. They're grown and wonderful, and we were recently talking about their childhood. They described me as 'enthusiastic,' and 'fun,' and 'always there for everything.' I don't think they even noticed that I was making it all up as we went along! So just keep loving, and caring, and standing there when she needs you. You're doing great.
Barbs, you are an inspiration. Your story of your son is so moving. Hope your back is better! I've been so busy that working out is on the back-burner; that's gotta change!
Hello Sober, Dee, DavidBrown, TooLong, Dear Suze, Mike (or if I mean business, Michael), Bob (hope you feel less overwhelmed), Ayres, Tony, Red, and everyone I'm missing!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Georgia, USA
Posts: 2,229
I feel terrible. Just need to make it through today. Thanks for your support for me coming back, and for my son.
Starting over is hell. I'll be surfing that wave tonight. Thinking about it ahead of time and trying to be prepared makes a big difference.
I'm going to hunt up an AA meeting to go to, that will help, too.
Ayers, I so identify with your story. I live in a very populated area, so rarely run into anyone I know at the store, but still I never wanted to appear the drunk. When I am sober, I look different from when I'm drinking, even though I try so hard when I'm drinking not to look like a drunk. But it shows. Puffy and bloated and tired looking. I am so ready to get past this and on to better things. But, it's hard to try again when I keep failing! I have to do the whole beginning over again. Write down all the reasons I want to be sober, make a plan and stick to it, etc. etc. Ugh.
I have a trip to California coming up. It's to the International Council on Active Aging. Kind of ironic now, but hopefully, by the end of October when I'm going, it won't feel ironic, it will seem just right.
Thanks again all for welcoming me back. I hope not to disappoint you or myself again.
Starting over is hell. I'll be surfing that wave tonight. Thinking about it ahead of time and trying to be prepared makes a big difference.
I'm going to hunt up an AA meeting to go to, that will help, too.
Ayers, I so identify with your story. I live in a very populated area, so rarely run into anyone I know at the store, but still I never wanted to appear the drunk. When I am sober, I look different from when I'm drinking, even though I try so hard when I'm drinking not to look like a drunk. But it shows. Puffy and bloated and tired looking. I am so ready to get past this and on to better things. But, it's hard to try again when I keep failing! I have to do the whole beginning over again. Write down all the reasons I want to be sober, make a plan and stick to it, etc. etc. Ugh.
I have a trip to California coming up. It's to the International Council on Active Aging. Kind of ironic now, but hopefully, by the end of October when I'm going, it won't feel ironic, it will seem just right.
Thanks again all for welcoming me back. I hope not to disappoint you or myself again.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,320
Good morning all. Day 43 here.
Ayers-I really had a big laugh reading your post. A while back, we lived in a small town and my wife and I were both teachers. One grocery store and one liquor store. When we would put beer in our shopping cart, we would quickly grab a bunch of other stuff to cover it up in the cart. Of course, never visited the local liquor store. Drove an hour to get to a liquor store. So, where we live now,(not a small town) we always went to the same liquor store. They all knew me by name. When I decided to stop drinking in December, I went in the liquor store to get some vodka for my wife and told them I was quitting. You could have heard a pin drop and the look on their face made me wonder if they were worried someone may lose their job due to the drop in sales Made me laugh.
Karen-Will be thinking of you today. You can do it.
Congrats on 31 days Zoey and Quit!
Suze-Waiting for you to come back so we can hear all about it.
Hi SweetP, David, Uncle Mike, Barbs, Red, Itsbeen, Darkling, Alice, and Dee.
Have a great day!
Ayers-I really had a big laugh reading your post. A while back, we lived in a small town and my wife and I were both teachers. One grocery store and one liquor store. When we would put beer in our shopping cart, we would quickly grab a bunch of other stuff to cover it up in the cart. Of course, never visited the local liquor store. Drove an hour to get to a liquor store. So, where we live now,(not a small town) we always went to the same liquor store. They all knew me by name. When I decided to stop drinking in December, I went in the liquor store to get some vodka for my wife and told them I was quitting. You could have heard a pin drop and the look on their face made me wonder if they were worried someone may lose their job due to the drop in sales
Made me laugh.Karen-Will be thinking of you today. You can do it.
Congrats on 31 days Zoey and Quit!
Suze-Waiting for you to come back so we can hear all about it.
Hi SweetP, David, Uncle Mike, Barbs, Red, Itsbeen, Darkling, Alice, and Dee.
Have a great day!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: nj
Posts: 470
Hi all.
Been lurking for a few days. Didn’t feel I like posting for some reason, but I still read the posts as my day doesnt seem finished without doing so. I can’t quite keep up with everyone to respond , but I see threads of familiarity in many of your experiences.
Ive been working 9-10 hrs/day and along with my family duties, I find myself exhausted Mon-Fri. I caught a cold and am fuzzy headed with decongestants. Well, this will pass and I will put in for a couple of vacation days to rest up.
I had my share of troubles when my son was 15-16 as well ( that is a particularly challenging time). My son is away at college and doing so much better than I imagined. My younger child is a bit abrasive this past month (never was before). She’ll be off to college next year and I’m trying to get a few more “lessons” in before then! I really think they’re going to be fine though and outside my son’s special needs situation, they have not been too hard to raise. It’s about boundaries, natural consequences, and support/love, and sometimes a little professional help LOL.
Ayers, I loved reading your story. You are good at writing! I once posted on a forum and asked, “how secretive were you?” And it was amazing how many of us relate and tell stories about where they hid their alcohol and how they rotated liquor store visits so the store clerk wouldn’t catch on. Secrecy and shame is very prevalent in alcoholism.
I am 67 days sober. Down 30 lbs . Thinking back on my eating habits and drinking, I would attribute about 20lbs to sobriety. The other to limiting carbs and being more active (I have time now!).
I had a dream one night last week about having a drink. I woke up upset until I realized it was a dream...I’m not one who believe in the significance of dreams, but this one dream is the exception.
Wishing you all strength and peace in your journey wherever you are. You have my unyielding support however quiet that may be.
Bonnie
Been lurking for a few days. Didn’t feel I like posting for some reason, but I still read the posts as my day doesnt seem finished without doing so. I can’t quite keep up with everyone to respond , but I see threads of familiarity in many of your experiences.
Ive been working 9-10 hrs/day and along with my family duties, I find myself exhausted Mon-Fri. I caught a cold and am fuzzy headed with decongestants. Well, this will pass and I will put in for a couple of vacation days to rest up.
I had my share of troubles when my son was 15-16 as well ( that is a particularly challenging time). My son is away at college and doing so much better than I imagined. My younger child is a bit abrasive this past month (never was before). She’ll be off to college next year and I’m trying to get a few more “lessons” in before then! I really think they’re going to be fine though and outside my son’s special needs situation, they have not been too hard to raise. It’s about boundaries, natural consequences, and support/love, and sometimes a little professional help LOL.
Ayers, I loved reading your story. You are good at writing! I once posted on a forum and asked, “how secretive were you?” And it was amazing how many of us relate and tell stories about where they hid their alcohol and how they rotated liquor store visits so the store clerk wouldn’t catch on. Secrecy and shame is very prevalent in alcoholism.
I am 67 days sober. Down 30 lbs . Thinking back on my eating habits and drinking, I would attribute about 20lbs to sobriety. The other to limiting carbs and being more active (I have time now!).
I had a dream one night last week about having a drink. I woke up upset until I realized it was a dream...I’m not one who believe in the significance of dreams, but this one dream is the exception.
Wishing you all strength and peace in your journey wherever you are. You have my unyielding support however quiet that may be.
Bonnie
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 697
Good morning everyone.
Ayers, you tell a great story. So funny/sad and very similar to my own. I live in a small town with only a few stores and often run into people I know. It was awful when it happened to be friends of my kids...so embarrassing.
Good to see you Sweetpeacan
Thank you Zoey. The ice helped. It's not 100% but it's a bit better
Hi Red, I hope you're doing well.
Karen, I know it can be discouraging starting over. But you're here and that's a start. Take is slow and be good to yourself. Maybe try reading some of your earlier posts. That helps me remember that I can do this and so can you Wishing you strength to continue moving forward.
I can't remember who asked how old my puppies are, but Lucy (my avatar) just turned 1 in August and Harley (the little terror, lol) is 8 months. We are taking them with us on our camping trip next week. Lucy will be great. Harley, hmmm, she's still hasn't out grown the chewing phase yet, soooo we'll see how it goes, lol.
Ayers, you tell a great story. So funny/sad and very similar to my own. I live in a small town with only a few stores and often run into people I know. It was awful when it happened to be friends of my kids...so embarrassing.
Good to see you Sweetpeacan
Thank you Zoey. The ice helped. It's not 100% but it's a bit better
Hi Red, I hope you're doing well.
Karen, I know it can be discouraging starting over. But you're here and that's a start. Take is slow and be good to yourself. Maybe try reading some of your earlier posts. That helps me remember that I can do this and so can you
Wishing you strength to continue moving forward.I can't remember who asked how old my puppies are, but Lucy (my avatar) just turned 1 in August and Harley (the little terror, lol) is 8 months. We are taking them with us on our camping trip next week. Lucy will be great. Harley, hmmm, she's still hasn't out grown the chewing phase yet, soooo we'll see how it goes, lol.
Sober Soldier
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 1,911
Morning everyone.
Karen, wishing you strength and resolve today. You can get through it.
Ayers, thanks for sharing that entertaining yet nonetheless powerful and relatable story!
Good to see you Sweetpecan and matrac.
I went straight home and straight to bed after work last night, despite my AV being rather active. I thought of the HALT acronym, and TIRED definitely applied to me.
I’ve been feeling tried all the time lately, taking naps throughout the day every chance I get. Yesterday was the worst, I was just dead tired all day, yawning constantly while working with clients, missed my workout, felt like crap. My therapist thinks it’s my SAD acting up, because it has been dreary and rainy where I live for a week straight. I agree, but I did get a little more sleep than usual last night and the sun is out today. And honestly, I feel better! It’s supposed to stay this way going into the weekend which is a relief, because these long stretches of cloudy days really hit me hard, and it will start to catch up with me and I’ll crash.
Hope everyone else is having a great day!
Karen, wishing you strength and resolve today. You can get through it.
Ayers, thanks for sharing that entertaining yet nonetheless powerful and relatable story!
Good to see you Sweetpecan and matrac.
I went straight home and straight to bed after work last night, despite my AV being rather active. I thought of the HALT acronym, and TIRED definitely applied to me.
I’ve been feeling tried all the time lately, taking naps throughout the day every chance I get. Yesterday was the worst, I was just dead tired all day, yawning constantly while working with clients, missed my workout, felt like crap. My therapist thinks it’s my SAD acting up, because it has been dreary and rainy where I live for a week straight. I agree, but I did get a little more sleep than usual last night and the sun is out today. And honestly, I feel better! It’s supposed to stay this way going into the weekend which is a relief, because these long stretches of cloudy days really hit me hard, and it will start to catch up with me and I’ll crash.
Hope everyone else is having a great day!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: nj
Posts: 470
Barbs, Camping sounds fun. Beagles are wonderful dogs, But some can take a little longer to learn. My dog became wonderful at 1 1/2. She’s not a beagle, but very food driven like a beagle. We all lost 1 pair of shoes when she was a pup
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 1,543
I’m sorry I haven’t been around. Work and things in my personal arena have taken up my time.
In addition I was frustrated and disappointed with myself and a few other things as well.
I just didn’t feel like talking/writing much.
I hope you’re all still sober? I’ll try and catch up with everyone’s story as soon as I can.
Tony
In addition I was frustrated and disappointed with myself and a few other things as well.
I just didn’t feel like talking/writing much.
I hope you’re all still sober? I’ll try and catch up with everyone’s story as soon as I can.
Tony
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: London, UK
Posts: 165
Originally Posted by JustTony
I’m sorry I haven’t been around. Work and things in my personal arena have taken up my time.
In addition I was frustrated and disappointed with myself and a few other things as well.
I just didn’t feel like talking/writing much.
I hope you’re all still sober? I’ll try and catch up with everyone’s story as soon as I can.
Tony
In addition I was frustrated and disappointed with myself and a few other things as well.
I just didn’t feel like talking/writing much.
I hope you’re all still sober? I’ll try and catch up with everyone’s story as soon as I can.
Tony
Good to hear from you. Keep keeping in touch.
Dave
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: London, UK
Posts: 165
Hi All,
I didn’t get the job, unfortunately. The interviews went very well but they feel that I am more suited to a higher level job than the one they had on offer. I take that as a positive and can understand where they are coming from. The feedback I got was great.
So, onwards and upwards!
I didn’t get the job, unfortunately. The interviews went very well but they feel that I am more suited to a higher level job than the one they had on offer. I take that as a positive and can understand where they are coming from. The feedback I got was great.
So, onwards and upwards!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
