Petecrab

Mags1

Know what you mean CW, we’ve go some funny idiosyncrasies

I love picking up all the different ways each of us say things. Thank goodness we speak the same language though, even if it is a bit different!

Mags1

Congratulations Pete and Mrs Pete.

And your continued sobriety

Gilmer

Big congratulations, Pete! I'm sure Alex will be thrilled!

Calmerwaters

Wow Pete, congrats on your little crablet. That's lovely news, and I hope your sweet wife is doing well.

I'm glad you are feeling so great, keep doing what you are doing. My second thought was Snooz is going to be so excited when she gets out and sees you've got another little Munchkin on the way!

Love to all, and p.s. glad we are on a new page...those choc coated orange peels in the first post on the last page were giving me cravings every time I had to catch up on posts. :P

PhoenixJ

congrats Pete

venuscat

Love.....you would not believe how much it costs to get good ones here. I used to get them from this little shop on GlenHuntly Rd in Caulfield for about $11 a bag.....that amount, or maybe double is costing $45 here at this point. And that's USD. Really. My mother would faint. But they are the best ever.....we eat like 2 at a time and put them away.

I only bought them now because Nick has put up with so much crazy from me this week that he deserved a treat. He also go two beautiful outdoor lanterns....

So much love honey. xx

Mags1

Hiya Julyers, have a good day

Calmerwaters

Feeling a bit meh. Relationships can be hard work sometimes, seriously.

Today I'm questioning if it's all worth the effort. :/

Just thinking out loud, but wondering how much of my irritation now comes from frustration.

Like, did I think my last relationship was amazing because I was drinking at night anyway??? Was there stuff, skills I just didn't learn because I was upstairs having wine and ciggys and my alcohol problem was what was flourishing?? And here all along, I was thinking I was pretty good at relationships? Maybe I suck at them?

I'm struggling between accepting that there are challenges I need to accept or work with, or just giving up because it's all too hard.

Mags1

CW, I had a similar problem. When I was drinking everything in the (drunken) world was rosy or so I thought!

Now, I face life without that prop, as we all do. It took me a long time to adjust. I found myself, for a while, doing the same things but without a drink in my hand! I didn’t realise either until I read Dee’s words to a fellow SR member.

My anxiety, I put down to my marriage, when all along it was my brain adjusting without alcohol.

I’ve not explained myself very well, but I understand what you mean, I hope you can see my comparison..

venuscat

I totally sucked at relationships, I have discovered.
But I am improving, and it is absolutely worth it. ♥♥

Gilmer

Sometimes it takes a whole lifetime!

Mags1

Yep, I’ll second that Kathy, it’s a work in progress!

Calmerwaters

Thanks Mags. I did completely get what you meant. And we can all tell ourselves the story we want to hear.

I'm just having one of those times where I'm just exhausted. I feel that some things that should be easy to plan and make decisions on are dragged out, and the more I push for an answer, my partner shuts down, which infuriates me. In my mind, my memory tells me that these should be easy conversations, and maybe they were with my ex when I was pepped up on alcohol.

I woke up this morning having serious doubts about continuing this relationship. We both mean well, but it's lost in translation.

Gilmer

Have you talked to him directly about these specific communication frustrations?

venuscat

CW....my love.....rest.....listen to your heart....trust your instincts and then WAIT.....and you will know honey.....you will know exactly what to do....how to move forward here in the way that is right for both of you.....sometimes, for me at least, I need to find my peace before I can find any of these big answers. ♥♥

Calmerwaters

Yes Kathy. Good suggestion but we've strived for that from the moment we got together, and particularly from when we moved in together. In fact, I'd even say we concsiously made it a cornerstone. Like no matter what, we need to communicate, and understand the other person means no harm.

Now it's reached the point of many times. No matter how many times we both try to communicate differently, we both manage to screw it up. I get that relationships take work at times and have their ebb and flow. I'm starting to think we just aren't compatible, or that I'm the one who has to back down from my stance, or actually just say nothing. All. The. Time.

Thank you Suze. I wholeheartedly agree. Normally, I would awake to an apologetic phone call, or a text to say sorry I love you etc. (he works away), but nothing. I feel like the whole thing is falling apart before my eyes.

I also think I chose to ignore some warning signs. Which, don't get me wrong, love conquers all, right? But there also comes a time when reality might be giving you a big old smack in the face.

My rule of never going to bed on an argument has been crushed so many times now, I think the damage is done.

venuscat

Oh love.....I am with you....all the way, whatever you need. ♥♥

resolute50

Relationship?well, I'm a guy so I have no idea.
But honestly, have you both talked about what you want from this?
Try not to over think us my dear lady.

Calmerwaters

Thanks Suze. Virtual hugs definitely count.xx

haha, Bob you made me burst out laughing on the guy/relationship comment. I think you summed it up though, and yes, we have talked. And talked. But I'm thinking on that statement a little harder. Thank you.

As in, it's one thing to say/agree what you want, but whether each party is willing to see logic in a heated moment, and follow through on the stated things.

He and I are both very similar. And that has it's joys, but also challenges.

I think today is going to be one of very deep reflection.

Thank you my sweet friends.