Class of August 2018 Part 4
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: nj
Posts: 470
It helps me to count at this point because i draw from it when I am tempted. For me it’s like having to run home, getting tired on the way and turning around to see how far I’d gone realizing that it would be foolish to go back to the start. 57 days.
Bonnie
Bonnie
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 697
Hi everyone.
I had a great spin class this morning. Work was pretty slow. My boss was stuck at court all day so I left a little early. Played with the puppies and grilled some burgers and asparagus for dinner. Plan on doing some reading before bed.
I hope everyone is doing well. Has anyone heard from Karen?
I had a great spin class this morning. Work was pretty slow. My boss was stuck at court all day so I left a little early. Played with the puppies and grilled some burgers and asparagus for dinner. Plan on doing some reading before bed.
I hope everyone is doing well. Has anyone heard from Karen?
Sober Soldier
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 1,911
Finally sitting down after a 12-hour work day followed by 1 1/2 hours in the gym. Sitting on my couch covered in sweat and need to shower but don’t feel like moving!
But I’m also not experiencing any cravings so I really can’t complain.
Hope everyone is doing well
But I’m also not experiencing any cravings so I really can’t complain.
Hope everyone is doing well
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: WI
Posts: 117
Darkling and Ben...I appreciate your observations. I slipped this weekend on camping trip and won’t belabor how unsatisfactory, disappointing and draining it was. To the tenth power as it was all me.
I will learn from this and update my plan. One thing that I came to realize is that a big trigger for me is doing something that I love or something that I always dreamed to do. Something I’ve built up in my mind.
In hindsight, that notion or awareness did not come naturally to me as I related most of my drinking to social situations or stressful family situations or just a frequent habit that felt like the right thing to do unit I knew better. As I got a handle on those triggers, I’ve been forced to acknowledge that it’s me and my strange relationship to my happiness, fulfillment, enjoyment, presence of mind. I’m at a loss because the very thing I turned to (booze) completely foreclosures my ability to achieve what I wanted in these situations and certainly on this camping trip.
It strikes me that I may be scratching at the surface of common knowledge around here that we need to change more in our lives than just not drinking. I have to focus not only on managing my negative emotions, but also my excitement and enthusiasm.
As a side note, I wonder if I drink to mitigate fear that it won’t be all I’ve built it up to be or allow me to shut off work and switch in fun. I can’t overstate how asinine that logic is for me and I’d venture for nearly all of us.
I’m disappointed, but am committed to continued learning and growth with an updated plan. Would not be the first time I’ve failed forward.
I hope you’ll keep this day 2 guy around.
I will learn from this and update my plan. One thing that I came to realize is that a big trigger for me is doing something that I love or something that I always dreamed to do. Something I’ve built up in my mind.
In hindsight, that notion or awareness did not come naturally to me as I related most of my drinking to social situations or stressful family situations or just a frequent habit that felt like the right thing to do unit I knew better. As I got a handle on those triggers, I’ve been forced to acknowledge that it’s me and my strange relationship to my happiness, fulfillment, enjoyment, presence of mind. I’m at a loss because the very thing I turned to (booze) completely foreclosures my ability to achieve what I wanted in these situations and certainly on this camping trip.
It strikes me that I may be scratching at the surface of common knowledge around here that we need to change more in our lives than just not drinking. I have to focus not only on managing my negative emotions, but also my excitement and enthusiasm.
As a side note, I wonder if I drink to mitigate fear that it won’t be all I’ve built it up to be or allow me to shut off work and switch in fun. I can’t overstate how asinine that logic is for me and I’d venture for nearly all of us.
I’m disappointed, but am committed to continued learning and growth with an updated plan. Would not be the first time I’ve failed forward.
I hope you’ll keep this day 2 guy around.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 88
Thank you everyone for your kind words and encouragement. I’m still not feeling well, and waiting for the order for the MRI to be approved by my insurance company. I guess the waiting is the most difficult part. The appointment that was scheduled for today was cancelled and will be rescheduled following the next procedure. So, I’ll have to be patient and work with our medical red tape until I find out what is causing the swelling and pain.
Congratulations to everyone hitting personal milestones; you carry the torch, lighting the path for the rest of us, THANK YOU!
I’m going to try and turn in early tonight, my sleep has been dreadful and it’s caught up to me.
Good night all!
Congratulations to everyone hitting personal milestones; you carry the torch, lighting the path for the rest of us, THANK YOU!
I’m going to try and turn in early tonight, my sleep has been dreadful and it’s caught up to me.
Good night all!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 9,002
Originally Posted by Itsbeentoolong 
Darkling and Ben...I appreciate your observations. I slipped this weekend on camping trip and won’t belabor how unsatisfactory, disappointing and draining it was. To the tenth power as it was all me.
I will learn from this and update my plan. One thing that I came to realize is that a big trigger for me is doing something that I love or something that I always dreamed to do. Something I’ve built up in my mind.
In hindsight, that notion or awareness did not come naturally to me as I related most of my drinking to social situations or stressful family situations or just a frequent habit that felt like the right thing to do unit I knew better. As I got a handle on those triggers, I’ve been forced to acknowledge that it’s me and my strange relationship to my happiness, fulfillment, enjoyment, presence of mind. I’m at a loss because the very thing I turned to (booze) completely foreclosures my ability to achieve what I wanted in these situations and certainly on this camping trip.
It strikes me that I may be scratching at the surface of common knowledge around here that we need to change more in our lives than just not drinking. I have to focus not only on managing my negative emotions, but also my excitement and enthusiasm.
As a side note, I wonder if I drink to mitigate fear that it won’t be all I’ve built it up to be or allow me to shut off work and switch in fun. I can’t overstate how asinine that logic is for me and I’d venture for nearly all of us.
I’m disappointed, but am committed to continued learning and growth with an updated plan. Would not be the first time I’ve failed forward.
I hope you’ll keep this day 2 guy around.
I will learn from this and update my plan. One thing that I came to realize is that a big trigger for me is doing something that I love or something that I always dreamed to do. Something I’ve built up in my mind.
In hindsight, that notion or awareness did not come naturally to me as I related most of my drinking to social situations or stressful family situations or just a frequent habit that felt like the right thing to do unit I knew better. As I got a handle on those triggers, I’ve been forced to acknowledge that it’s me and my strange relationship to my happiness, fulfillment, enjoyment, presence of mind. I’m at a loss because the very thing I turned to (booze) completely foreclosures my ability to achieve what I wanted in these situations and certainly on this camping trip.
It strikes me that I may be scratching at the surface of common knowledge around here that we need to change more in our lives than just not drinking. I have to focus not only on managing my negative emotions, but also my excitement and enthusiasm.
As a side note, I wonder if I drink to mitigate fear that it won’t be all I’ve built it up to be or allow me to shut off work and switch in fun. I can’t overstate how asinine that logic is for me and I’d venture for nearly all of us.
I’m disappointed, but am committed to continued learning and growth with an updated plan. Would not be the first time I’ve failed forward.
I hope you’ll keep this day 2 guy around.
ODAAT, I'm so so sorry that you have to wait still. I'm hoping you sleep like a brick and wake up with a renewed courage. We are all here waiting with you!
I'm headed to bed.
Wishing all of you fresh courage as you slide into Tuesday morning.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 1,287
Good morning
Day 26 , Tuesday morning 05:00
Itsbeen - also sorry about your slip , just glad you are back at once , Your post got me thinking as well. Funny thing is , I journalled this morning about very much the same thoughts. I will include it in my post .
Cat: I feel so frustrated for you. This blasted waiting-game is mind numbing ! All hanging in here with you . Hope you rest well.
Mike , well done . Amazing how exercise can be such a tonic - and it's free - there for the taking. Keep going , you are doing well.
Suze, thinking of you on your trip. Can't wait to hear how it's going ..
Thanks for sharing your number of days . I know it is a over-discussed topic and so relieved that you didn't say:
As Ben said, it helps to be able to compare stages of recovery , to know that what you are feeling on day X/Y/Z is normal , after reading that someone else also had the same experience at those stages. I find it helpful .
Matrac; I liked your image of looking back while on a run to see how far you've ran.
Good vibes to all of you today. Below is my thoughts from this morning. Maybe someone finds it helpful ?
In This Naked Mind , the author examines the phenomenon of INSTINCT. How animals are very much dependant on their instincts to survive as a species. They will steer clear of a poisonous plant or a lurking predator.
We humans are the most advanced spesies on earth and yet we choose to ignore our instincts . We do everything in our power to numb our instincts and pursue life-threatening activities instead – we dabble in substance abuse, high speed racing, bungy jumping , anything and everything to supply us with a “high” , even though we know it could end our lives. The question is why we do it?
The only “high” any animal gets is when they get a surge of adrenaline while in fight or flight mode – in order to save their lives. Elephants are seen rescuing their young from dangerous pools to stop them from drowning.
You don’t see the whole herd of matriarchs also jumping in and saying – “wow, this looks like fun, let’s all see how it feels to drown”.
Yet we see our friends and peers getting blotto from alcohol or drugs and we DO think – “wow, this looks like fun, I think I’ll join in”. And we ignore our instincts.
When my children were still small I always used to say “If you doubt something – it’s your instinct talking. If it feels wrong it most probably is wrong” and “When in doubt, stay out , steer clear and walk away” Yet, here I am – fighting alcoholism – because I ignored my instincts, and I didn’t follow my own advice that I gave to them.
I am now at day 26 and my instincts are telling me , that in order to keep staying sober for the long haul , I am going to have to start changing what I’ve been doing up till now, for 26 days, to get where I am heading
. I need to change gears. I KNOW that I WILL fail if I just keep doing what I’m doing now – it won’t be enough to keep me going.
And I am honest when I say = the not drinking part was not the most difficult up to now – the boredom , inertia and procrastination was/is.
I am a Taurus , and one of my characteristics that describes me best , is my dislike of any change.
So this is my dilemma. I now have to fight with myself , with who I have become in my 56 yrs on this beautiful earth – and go against my very grain , and force myself to change my way of doing things , my way of seeing things.
It is a whole new life I have to create – and I am finding it immensely difficult .
It almost feels like I am going to have to act against my instincts in order to listen to my instincts.
And all of this would be unnecessary if only I had listened to my instincts right from the start and steered clear of poisoning myself with ethanol dressed up as wine.
In the book the author draws this allegory :
A pilot , flying a large plane with 500+ passengers on board , sees a red light flashing, warning him of engine trouble. Instead of reaching out to Air traffic control for a plan to do an emergency landing, he switches off the light .
Hah ! Crazy ! But is that not exactly what we all do ? Our instincts give us warning signals , and we switch them off.
So, let's all listen to our instincts and not allow our AV's to silence it.
Or as in my case , also my FOH (Force of Habit). My habitual way of doing thing, living my life is just as dangerous as my AV.
ONWARDS TEAM AUGUST !!!!
Day 26 , Tuesday morning 05:00
Itsbeen - also sorry about your slip , just glad you are back at once , Your post got me thinking as well. Funny thing is , I journalled this morning about very much the same thoughts. I will include it in my post .
Cat: I feel so frustrated for you. This blasted waiting-game is mind numbing ! All hanging in here with you . Hope you rest well.
Mike , well done . Amazing how exercise can be such a tonic - and it's free - there for the taking. Keep going , you are doing well.
Suze, thinking of you on your trip. Can't wait to hear how it's going ..
Thanks for sharing your number of days . I know it is a over-discussed topic and so relieved that you didn't say:
As Ben said, it helps to be able to compare stages of recovery , to know that what you are feeling on day X/Y/Z is normal , after reading that someone else also had the same experience at those stages. I find it helpful .
Matrac; I liked your image of looking back while on a run to see how far you've ran.
Good vibes to all of you today. Below is my thoughts from this morning. Maybe someone finds it helpful ?
In This Naked Mind , the author examines the phenomenon of INSTINCT. How animals are very much dependant on their instincts to survive as a species. They will steer clear of a poisonous plant or a lurking predator.
We humans are the most advanced spesies on earth and yet we choose to ignore our instincts . We do everything in our power to numb our instincts and pursue life-threatening activities instead – we dabble in substance abuse, high speed racing, bungy jumping , anything and everything to supply us with a “high” , even though we know it could end our lives. The question is why we do it?
The only “high” any animal gets is when they get a surge of adrenaline while in fight or flight mode – in order to save their lives. Elephants are seen rescuing their young from dangerous pools to stop them from drowning.
You don’t see the whole herd of matriarchs also jumping in and saying – “wow, this looks like fun, let’s all see how it feels to drown”.
Yet we see our friends and peers getting blotto from alcohol or drugs and we DO think – “wow, this looks like fun, I think I’ll join in”. And we ignore our instincts.
When my children were still small I always used to say “If you doubt something – it’s your instinct talking. If it feels wrong it most probably is wrong” and “When in doubt, stay out , steer clear and walk away” Yet, here I am – fighting alcoholism – because I ignored my instincts, and I didn’t follow my own advice that I gave to them.
I am now at day 26 and my instincts are telling me , that in order to keep staying sober for the long haul , I am going to have to start changing what I’ve been doing up till now, for 26 days, to get where I am heading
. I need to change gears. I KNOW that I WILL fail if I just keep doing what I’m doing now – it won’t be enough to keep me going.
And I am honest when I say = the not drinking part was not the most difficult up to now – the boredom , inertia and procrastination was/is.
I am a Taurus , and one of my characteristics that describes me best , is my dislike of any change.
So this is my dilemma. I now have to fight with myself , with who I have become in my 56 yrs on this beautiful earth – and go against my very grain , and force myself to change my way of doing things , my way of seeing things.
It is a whole new life I have to create – and I am finding it immensely difficult .
It almost feels like I am going to have to act against my instincts in order to listen to my instincts.
And all of this would be unnecessary if only I had listened to my instincts right from the start and steered clear of poisoning myself with ethanol dressed up as wine.
In the book the author draws this allegory :
A pilot , flying a large plane with 500+ passengers on board , sees a red light flashing, warning him of engine trouble. Instead of reaching out to Air traffic control for a plan to do an emergency landing, he switches off the light .
Hah ! Crazy ! But is that not exactly what we all do ? Our instincts give us warning signals , and we switch them off.
So, let's all listen to our instincts and not allow our AV's to silence it.
Or as in my case , also my FOH (Force of Habit). My habitual way of doing thing, living my life is just as dangerous as my AV.
ONWARDS TEAM AUGUST !!!!
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,436
glad to see you ODAATCAT and still hoping the news eventually will be good 
welcome back itsbeentoolong
when I started to take note of what I drank for it ended up being easier to list what I didn't drink for.
so I focused then on reinforcing the idea that, whatever I was looking for in that given moment a drink was either not likely to fulfill that need, or bring with it a mountains worth of problems and bad stuff.
D
welcome back itsbeentoolong
when I started to take note of what I drank for it ended up being easier to list what I didn't drink for.
so I focused then on reinforcing the idea that, whatever I was looking for in that given moment a drink was either not likely to fulfill that need, or bring with it a mountains worth of problems and bad stuff.
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 1,543
Good Morning,
ODAATCAAT - how frustrating, worrying and exhausting to be subject to further delays in prognosis. Thank you for updating. Please allow the group to support you on this difficult part of your journey.
ItsBeenTooLong - extreme emotions - fear, excitement, depression, grief, joy - both ends of the spectrum and in between - can lead to drinking in my experience. They’re all just part of the same ‘go to’ trigger. I agree that working on wider changes in ones behaviour, habits, hobbies and way of life (and looking at the last one) is a wider and more important part of staying sober. I’m absolutely nowhere near the point that I need to be and worry about a slip/relapse or full blown collapse again if I don’t nail this part of my recovery.
Good to see that exercise is playing a big part of some of your continued sobreity attempts. I know 100% that this is a big part of my recovery plan, without which I would have already failed.
I second the call out for Karen to say “hello”. We’re worried about you - please update?
I’m also worried about Suze. I know the first night of away trips (with usual triggers like work functions) are such a tricky time to overcome. I’m hoping beyond hope that she is in a poor reception area or just too busy to say ‘hi’?
It would be good to hear from Kit too. I don’t think I’ve seen her for a day or two on here?
A lot of you were super kind about my personal little landmark yesterday and paid me some enormous compliments. Such is the bewildering fashion of this addiction that some of the kind words nearly triggered me! For example I think Mike said I was a “role model” to Augustonians? I was thinking “No, no, no - PLEASE! I can’t even look after myself properly let alone be something that anyone else should think is inspiring!” Seriously I’m not being self effacing here. Please don’t look at me as an example of anything other than a guy that drank 1,000 plus bottles a wine - per year - for well over a decade. I’m so scared of relapse that I wouldn’t want to let anyone else down except me should it happen.
This leads me to my recent thoughts which I would like to share? My industry (at work) is exceptionally challenging and has been made harder by BREXIT for a whole raft of factors (that’s neither to say I am for or against the UK leaving - it’s just a dynamic of my job and economic sector). My customers are tough and demanding (like most huge corporate, quoted businesses) and whilst they accept the wider ramifications of BREXIT on the overall economy and the uncertainty that it brings, it doesn’t stop them pushing for better results “or else”....
During this time I do my best to explain to my colleagues that the ONLY thing that we can affect is our own behaviours and efforts. I ask them to make them, and (by proxy) their teams, to be the very best version of themselves in these choppy waters. I explain that as long as we give 100% of ourselves to the cause, and do all that we can, then I will never ask for more no matter how dire the ramifications. No matter how angry the customer. Regardless of how many clients that we might lose.
And it is to this end that I counsel myself every day about my struggle with living a better and cleaner life that is less dependent on the (seemingly) emotional crutch of alcohol. “Just be the best version of yourself that you can be today Tony” is what I think to myself. Over and over I say it in my head when I feel tired, tempted, lonely, stressed, sad, hungry, bored etc. That’s all I’m trying to be - the best version of me:
Read more.
Exercise.
Be kind.
Experience new things.
Keep matters in perspective.
Live in the now.
Don’t think too far ahead.
Develop acceptance.
Be grateful.
The list goes on.
Stay strong people. Just try to be the best version of you that you can be today.
All the Best,
Tony
ODAATCAAT - how frustrating, worrying and exhausting to be subject to further delays in prognosis. Thank you for updating. Please allow the group to support you on this difficult part of your journey.
ItsBeenTooLong - extreme emotions - fear, excitement, depression, grief, joy - both ends of the spectrum and in between - can lead to drinking in my experience. They’re all just part of the same ‘go to’ trigger. I agree that working on wider changes in ones behaviour, habits, hobbies and way of life (and looking at the last one) is a wider and more important part of staying sober. I’m absolutely nowhere near the point that I need to be and worry about a slip/relapse or full blown collapse again if I don’t nail this part of my recovery.
Good to see that exercise is playing a big part of some of your continued sobreity attempts. I know 100% that this is a big part of my recovery plan, without which I would have already failed.
I second the call out for Karen to say “hello”. We’re worried about you - please update?
I’m also worried about Suze. I know the first night of away trips (with usual triggers like work functions) are such a tricky time to overcome. I’m hoping beyond hope that she is in a poor reception area or just too busy to say ‘hi’?
It would be good to hear from Kit too. I don’t think I’ve seen her for a day or two on here?
A lot of you were super kind about my personal little landmark yesterday and paid me some enormous compliments. Such is the bewildering fashion of this addiction that some of the kind words nearly triggered me! For example I think Mike said I was a “role model” to Augustonians? I was thinking “No, no, no - PLEASE! I can’t even look after myself properly let alone be something that anyone else should think is inspiring!” Seriously I’m not being self effacing here. Please don’t look at me as an example of anything other than a guy that drank 1,000 plus bottles a wine - per year - for well over a decade. I’m so scared of relapse that I wouldn’t want to let anyone else down except me should it happen.
This leads me to my recent thoughts which I would like to share? My industry (at work) is exceptionally challenging and has been made harder by BREXIT for a whole raft of factors (that’s neither to say I am for or against the UK leaving - it’s just a dynamic of my job and economic sector). My customers are tough and demanding (like most huge corporate, quoted businesses) and whilst they accept the wider ramifications of BREXIT on the overall economy and the uncertainty that it brings, it doesn’t stop them pushing for better results “or else”....
During this time I do my best to explain to my colleagues that the ONLY thing that we can affect is our own behaviours and efforts. I ask them to make them, and (by proxy) their teams, to be the very best version of themselves in these choppy waters. I explain that as long as we give 100% of ourselves to the cause, and do all that we can, then I will never ask for more no matter how dire the ramifications. No matter how angry the customer. Regardless of how many clients that we might lose.
And it is to this end that I counsel myself every day about my struggle with living a better and cleaner life that is less dependent on the (seemingly) emotional crutch of alcohol. “Just be the best version of yourself that you can be today Tony” is what I think to myself. Over and over I say it in my head when I feel tired, tempted, lonely, stressed, sad, hungry, bored etc. That’s all I’m trying to be - the best version of me:
Read more.
Exercise.
Be kind.
Experience new things.
Keep matters in perspective.
Live in the now.
Don’t think too far ahead.
Develop acceptance.
Be grateful.
The list goes on.
Stay strong people. Just try to be the best version of you that you can be today.
All the Best,
Tony
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 1,543
Ayres,
We cross posted again as is our normal morning routine it seems!
I think that we we’re saying very, very similar things in our response to ItsBeenTooLong - and in the difference between not drinking and staying sober?
Your post has helped me today in reinforcing the belief that I am trying to head and think in the right direction.
Thanks.
We cross posted again as is our normal morning routine it seems!
I think that we we’re saying very, very similar things in our response to ItsBeenTooLong - and in the difference between not drinking and staying sober?
Your post has helped me today in reinforcing the belief that I am trying to head and think in the right direction.
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 1,287
Hi Tony , yes, funny how we always seem to post at the same time .
But I must say it gives me much comfort to know that at least you and Dee are up and awake when I am .
And thank you , your post also "spoke" to me. I think the fact that many of us seem to be questioning the " okay , so now what .... where do I go from here?" is a sure sign of progress.
We have moved from concentrating on just keeping the wolf at bay , to wanting more meaningful changes . (Keeping in mind that that first part is of the utmost importance in order to move along further)
I am so grateful to be part of such an amazing class where we CAN discuss these more profound issues with like-minded people. We are really blessed to have this outlet.
Have a wonderful day
But I must say it gives me much comfort to know that at least you and Dee are up and awake when I am .
And thank you , your post also "spoke" to me. I think the fact that many of us seem to be questioning the " okay , so now what .... where do I go from here?" is a sure sign of progress.
We have moved from concentrating on just keeping the wolf at bay , to wanting more meaningful changes . (Keeping in mind that that first part is of the utmost importance in order to move along further)
I am so grateful to be part of such an amazing class where we CAN discuss these more profound issues with like-minded people. We are really blessed to have this outlet.
Have a wonderful day
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 2,279
Ayers I completely agree about changing gears. I also had this feeling before my slip and didn’t act on it. I knew I had to make one specific change about something I was holding on to, and also adding exercise more fully.
JT I’m so glad that you didn’t give in to trigger. I did at exactly the same point, to the day. 50 days, I’ve done so well!!! I’m just a fool I knew it was a risk but didn’t quite catch it
Today I am keeping it simple. I will eat good food and I will not drink. Even if today is a white knuckler it’s only 14 hours before bed
Please out peoole
JT I’m so glad that you didn’t give in to trigger. I did at exactly the same point, to the day. 50 days, I’ve done so well!!! I’m just a fool I knew it was a risk but didn’t quite catch it
Today I am keeping it simple. I will eat good food and I will not drink. Even if today is a white knuckler it’s only 14 hours before bed
Please out peoole
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 102
Hello Augustonians! Day 31 sober for me. I've managed to break my record by 3 days so far although I'm hoping for much more to come.
I'm sorry you drank Itsbeen but you are always welcome back here!!!!
Congratulations of 50 days Tony! I want to get there so badly too.
Hi Ayers! I love your post today it had so many amazing thoughts and ideas.
Lately I've been quite worried about my sobriety. I had 28 days back in July/Aug 2017 then I went on a ski trip and drank. Fast forward to Dec 2017/Jan 2018 and I went to a party thrown in my honour and of course I drank. For so long my fun, happiness and enjoyment have been intertwined with alcohol. I'm still trying to figure out how to separate them. Yet when I think back to those events by drinking I missed out on a morning of skiing thanks to my hangover and I barely remember my party. I always idolised strong, career women who worked hard and played even harder. There endless examples in the media and they all play hard by drinking hard. It's hard to change a belief that has been engrained in you since adolescence and I know I need to really figure out how to change what I aspire to.
Will check in later on!
I'm sorry you drank Itsbeen but you are always welcome back here!!!!
Congratulations of 50 days Tony! I want to get there so badly too.
Hi Ayers! I love your post today it had so many amazing thoughts and ideas.
Lately I've been quite worried about my sobriety. I had 28 days back in July/Aug 2017 then I went on a ski trip and drank. Fast forward to Dec 2017/Jan 2018 and I went to a party thrown in my honour and of course I drank. For so long my fun, happiness and enjoyment have been intertwined with alcohol. I'm still trying to figure out how to separate them. Yet when I think back to those events by drinking I missed out on a morning of skiing thanks to my hangover and I barely remember my party. I always idolised strong, career women who worked hard and played even harder. There endless examples in the media and they all play hard by drinking hard. It's hard to change a belief that has been engrained in you since adolescence and I know I need to really figure out how to change what I aspire to.
Will check in later on!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 1,287
Hi Hills . Congrats on 31 days !!
This is exactly what I have been reading about. We have been bamboozled and lied to by the marketers of alcohol since forever. They need to market strongly – because they are trying to get us to buy into their poison. Why on earth would anyone willingly drink ethanol laced with flavourants if you didn’t firmly believe that by drinking it you are getting: a personality, happiness, relaxation, escape from stress – all lies. It has been romantised and glamourised to be able to sell it -because it is a poison, it is addictive and it is a killer substance. In 2008 it was put right up there on the list of carcinogens – but is still being sold, is still freely available, and is killing more people than any other drug , including heroin and crack !!!
If anyone reading this, hasn’t already, do yourself a huge favour and read This Naked Mind .
I have been gobsmacked while reading it. Does get a bit repetitive here and there, but I like it because of the facts and figures given in the book . Truly opened up my eyes !!!
Enough from me ... well, at least, for now ...
“There endless examples in the media and they all play hard by drinking hard. It's hard to change a belief that has been engrained in you since adolescence and I know I need to really figure out how to change what I aspire to. “
If anyone reading this, hasn’t already, do yourself a huge favour and read This Naked Mind .
I have been gobsmacked while reading it. Does get a bit repetitive here and there, but I like it because of the facts and figures given in the book . Truly opened up my eyes !!!
Enough from me ... well, at least, for now ...
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 1,543
Hi Hills,
Yes I vaguely remember your slip in the December 2017 group and that you posted similar views around enjoyment, drink related times and work/life/alcohol balance.
Perhaps you are missing two important things?
a) I’m sure that a lot of hard working, hard drinking women that seem happy and successful are not all that they portray?
b) I’m equally positive that there are huge numbers of female role models that are high flying, teetotal and exceptionally happy?
I find that I discover my truths wherever I choose to forage. I think this can be all about validating ones belief structures - and in the case of the AV listening to his/her seductive voice?
Trust me when I say that there is nothing that you wrote in your latest contribution that I haven’t discussed with myself, others and the AV. Only the gender was different.
JT
Yes I vaguely remember your slip in the December 2017 group and that you posted similar views around enjoyment, drink related times and work/life/alcohol balance.
Perhaps you are missing two important things?
a) I’m sure that a lot of hard working, hard drinking women that seem happy and successful are not all that they portray?
b) I’m equally positive that there are huge numbers of female role models that are high flying, teetotal and exceptionally happy?
I find that I discover my truths wherever I choose to forage. I think this can be all about validating ones belief structures - and in the case of the AV listening to his/her seductive voice?
Trust me when I say that there is nothing that you wrote in your latest contribution that I haven’t discussed with myself, others and the AV. Only the gender was different.
JT
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 102
Thanks for the replies Tony and Ayers!
It’s strange Ayers I actually do feel lied to and betrayed by what the world promised me alcohol would be! But I also know that I’m in charge of my thoughts and ideas now and my perspective is my own choice. I’ll definitely check out A Naked Mind sounds like a great read!
You are correct Tony! My concerns may be largely the same but this time I am willing to forage as you said. You are right on both points I’m sure that what you describe exists but until now I haven’t really been looking. My own ideas were clouding my version of reality.
I’m determined not to drink again...I want that 50 days and beyond!
It’s strange Ayers I actually do feel lied to and betrayed by what the world promised me alcohol would be! But I also know that I’m in charge of my thoughts and ideas now and my perspective is my own choice. I’ll definitely check out A Naked Mind sounds like a great read!
You are correct Tony! My concerns may be largely the same but this time I am willing to forage as you said. You are right on both points I’m sure that what you describe exists but until now I haven’t really been looking. My own ideas were clouding my version of reality.
I’m determined not to drink again...I want that 50 days and beyond!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 451
Matrac, congrats on 57 days! Wow. Great job! (I also count days because it's motivating. I anticipate a day when I won't need that extra motivation -- I'm only on Day 22, so a ways to go!)
Barbs, your day reflects my ideal day: leave work early, dogs, good food, a book.
It'sBeenTooLong, glad you're back. Stay here. We've got your back!
Welcome back, ODAATCAT! Please keep us posted on your health news. I'm wishing you the very best outcome, no matter what the diagnosis.
BeKind, Mike, Dee, JT, Ben, Hills, DavidBrown, Red, TimetoTry, and everyone else, good morning (or in some cases, good night) and wishing you a sober Tuesday!
Ayers, This Naked Mind has a podcast you can listen to. She talks about her struggle, interviews others who are in recovery, etc. I listen to it on walks or on the elliptical. I haven't read the book, but I'll order it.
As for me, I'm on day 22 and feeling good. Cravings have definitely backed off, my mood is brighter, and I'm sharper at work. I'm still focusing on the day to day, but at some point I need to take another step, possibly AA or therapy, to move into longer-term recovery.
At what point did others reach out for more help? Or did you just keep working on this on your own? Appreciate any advice.
Have a great sober Tuesday, everyone. See you tonight!
Barbs, your day reflects my ideal day: leave work early, dogs, good food, a book.
It'sBeenTooLong, glad you're back. Stay here. We've got your back!
Welcome back, ODAATCAT! Please keep us posted on your health news. I'm wishing you the very best outcome, no matter what the diagnosis.
BeKind, Mike, Dee, JT, Ben, Hills, DavidBrown, Red, TimetoTry, and everyone else, good morning (or in some cases, good night) and wishing you a sober Tuesday!
Ayers, This Naked Mind has a podcast you can listen to. She talks about her struggle, interviews others who are in recovery, etc. I listen to it on walks or on the elliptical. I haven't read the book, but I'll order it.
As for me, I'm on day 22 and feeling good. Cravings have definitely backed off, my mood is brighter, and I'm sharper at work. I'm still focusing on the day to day, but at some point I need to take another step, possibly AA or therapy, to move into longer-term recovery.
At what point did others reach out for more help? Or did you just keep working on this on your own? Appreciate any advice.
Have a great sober Tuesday, everyone. See you tonight!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 88
Some very intense reflections on why we would chose to repeatedly ingest a substance that provides only a temporary “high,” yet the aftermath always served as the “red light” that it was harmful to our bodies, minds, and spirituality. This is probably the most profound question all alcoholics struggle with. The “why do I do this to myself,” is common, but breaking the cycle is so difficult. On this note, anyone who is MIA, please come forward, this is the most understanding and accepting class I’ve ever seen. You are not alone, and never will be if you defy your AV and jump back on board.
I think we can all agree that drinking leads to isolation, I don’t know if it’s shame-based, or the primitive brain in overdrive, keeping its host from reaching out for help so that it can continue to indulge in its drug of choice, as both actions/reactions are deeply entwined.
Imagine a lion hunting its prey, it separates one from the herd, and focuses on its victim until it is too weak to run or is too overwhelmed with fear to escape. Alcoholism is similar, only in a weakened mental and physical state, our instincts to run are numbed and we separate from the herd. I’ve done it myself, so many times in fact that I have lost count. I will not be that victim any longer!
Strength in numbers, so stay strong Augustonians!
I think we can all agree that drinking leads to isolation, I don’t know if it’s shame-based, or the primitive brain in overdrive, keeping its host from reaching out for help so that it can continue to indulge in its drug of choice, as both actions/reactions are deeply entwined.
Imagine a lion hunting its prey, it separates one from the herd, and focuses on its victim until it is too weak to run or is too overwhelmed with fear to escape. Alcoholism is similar, only in a weakened mental and physical state, our instincts to run are numbed and we separate from the herd. I’ve done it myself, so many times in fact that I have lost count. I will not be that victim any longer!
Strength in numbers, so stay strong Augustonians!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Washington State
Posts: 591
Good morning folks. Day 25 for me. I had a really rough day at work yesterday but didn't drink or smoke pot over it, and am ready to deal with more stress there today. Something which I've been trying to fix for the last couple of months and thought for sure was finally fixed last week still isn't fixed - very frustrating. That and I spent the first half of the day first 'upgrading' a tool I use, then having the new version hang and crash, then having to re-install the old version, but all of my settings were wiped out so I had to spend a couple of hours re configuring things and still didn't get it completely back to where it was before the 'upgrade'. I really hate technology sometimes, and I'm a software developer so you can imagine how much I love my job *sarcasm*
I guess its an opportunity to try to look at the big picture and be grateful for what I have today. I'm trying to do that. Anyway, sorry to vent a little. I'm still feeling bent out of shape about it.
I hope you all are doing as well as you can today. Take care
I guess its an opportunity to try to look at the big picture and be grateful for what I have today. I'm trying to do that. Anyway, sorry to vent a little. I'm still feeling bent out of shape about it.
I hope you all are doing as well as you can today. Take care
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