Snufkin's Thread Pt 3
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,373
Thank you All for being a huge help! 
I’m on a train now to Katowice to get another tattoo... I just had a really bad panic attack, I was nauseous, crying, with an upset stomach. I haven’t been that bad in a while. I’m so pointlessly worried about everything I can’t calm down my anxiety... God, it sucks. At least I have no desire to drink and I know I’m not going to - just thinking about feeling even worse makes me terrified... but I wish I could manage my stress level and just enjoy being here... What is wrong with me? It’s gonna be OK if I stay, it’s OK if I go to Glasgow... I feel like I’m unfit to live. It’s so stupid. I dream about hanging myself so I don’t have to struggle with every single little thing on this planet... ugh. I can’t eat anything. Getting this tattoo will be fun.
I’m on a train now to Katowice to get another tattoo... I just had a really bad panic attack, I was nauseous, crying, with an upset stomach. I haven’t been that bad in a while. I’m so pointlessly worried about everything I can’t calm down my anxiety... God, it sucks. At least I have no desire to drink and I know I’m not going to - just thinking about feeling even worse makes me terrified... but I wish I could manage my stress level and just enjoy being here... What is wrong with me? It’s gonna be OK if I stay, it’s OK if I go to Glasgow... I feel like I’m unfit to live. It’s so stupid. I dream about hanging myself so I don’t have to struggle with every single little thing on this planet... ugh. I can’t eat anything. Getting this tattoo will be fun.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,373
Thank you Dee. My antidepressants help a lot, or at least I thought they do, but today was a massive setback... I’m worried it means I’ll be back to feeling anxious in all social situations again and unable to leave my flat...
Ah well... We’ll see.
Ah well... We’ll see.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,373
What a weird tattoo artist, it’s cool the way he works but I don’t know... He’s drawing DURING the session, so I’m just sitting here for 3 hours waiting for him to finish sketching. 
It’s gonna be on my thigh... it was a bit embarrassing to show him my scars, but I’m happy to have something pretty on my leg.
It’s gonna be on my thigh... it was a bit embarrassing to show him my scars, but I’m happy to have something pretty on my leg.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,443
You know all of your options love, and they are all really good.
As I said to you yesterday ~ after weighing it all up, pick something and go for it.
If it doesn't work out....ie Poland for a couple of months, and Glasgow a bit later....it will be fine.
And you lost the option to leave the planet baby.....you have friends who care about you.
Mwaaaa ♥♥
As I said to you yesterday ~ after weighing it all up, pick something and go for it.
If it doesn't work out....ie Poland for a couple of months, and Glasgow a bit later....it will be fine.
And you lost the option to leave the planet baby.....you have friends who care about you.
Mwaaaa ♥♥
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,373
I’m at my dad’s now, so I finally have more time to post. I gotta say my dad isn’t overly enthusiastic about me moving to Warsaw... He says it’s expensive, I don’t have a plan and it’s been a while since I lived here and I have no issurance, no bank account, no address etc... I’m trying not to panic. Baby steps. I’m gonna find a flat first and then we will see.
My new tat
So happy with it. Nice to have something else other than ugly scars on my legs.
My new tat
So happy with it. Nice to have something else other than ugly scars on my legs.
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