Class of September 2018 Part One
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 20
Today felt really long, but it was productive. I second the ambivalence. Bit off all my nails. Anxious and thinking too much. I'm going from questioning my resolve to replaying in my head some of my poor drunken behavior, like its haunting me and won't leave me alone. Saying things I shouldn't have, etc... I will be thinking how much better life is going to be sober and present and within 5 minutes I'm completely overwhelmed with the idea. AV is strong today, but I made it.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: East Midlands UK
Posts: 502
Good morning September-ites
7.30 am here in the UK and feeling shattered. I ended up sitting up until 2 am as I attended an on-line meeting that started at 1 am. I'm up this early as son and we are getting a bus at 9 am to return my son to Uni.
I hope you all have a good day x
7.30 am here in the UK and feeling shattered. I ended up sitting up until 2 am as I attended an on-line meeting that started at 1 am. I'm up this early as son and we are getting a bus at 9 am to return my son to Uni.
I hope you all have a good day x
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: East Midlands UK
Posts: 502
Originally Posted by mkvan 
Been on here and online meetings the whole time.
Anyhow, feeling a little disconsolate. Son-and-heir is now safely ensconced in his new shared house for his next year at Uni. It is early for the UK but he is an exec on the Student Union so 2 weeks of training coming up. (He will be sharing with 5 girls. He doesn't refer to the situation as 'me and the girls' but as 'us girls'. It's all a bit 'tongue in cheek' as my son is gay but not in any 'narrow minded stereotypical' way. It is very amusing when we walk down the street and I see young females eyeing him up! BUT I do have to say, when I had my gastric bypass he was the oracle when it got to sorting through the case of skinny clothes I had stored under my bed! ).
I know I haven't given him the calm break he deserved and that he has gone back worrying about me. Thankfully he is aware I am more active on here and am returning to AA tomorrow. In fact he got up while I was in the middle of an online meeting this morning - I did leave the meeting straight away as didn't think it was fair on the other attendees to have an 'outsider in the room'.
But yes, feeling a little fragile right now - nearly cried on the bus on the way home (fortunately he is just 1.75 hours away on the bus - followed by a 40 minute walk, most up one of the steepest hills in the UK!) . My son really is the best thing since sliced bread (ignoring the fact that newly baked bread you slice yourself while it is still slightly warm is possibly nicer!). I have been a single parent to him (in essence) since 2000 so not having him around is an absolute killer.
Although he is there for a 2nd year, he has swapped course so is on year 1 of his new course. So definitely away 3 more years. By then he will be 22, going on 23 and, no thanks to me as I've been such a rubbish mum, very independent (last summer at the age of 18 he travelled from the UK to a remote part of Uganda via Kenya on his own to do voluntary work for a charity - can't get much more independent than that!) so I think the days of my address being his home address (bar for admin purposes) is done with.
Please excuse my vague ramblings - just a little fragile and typing out what is in my (sober!) head.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 40
hi StartAnew68. Congrats on making it your son's uni and back, in one piece Sober. Probably quite tough emotionally, but you did it!!
i go to 12step-online.com and there is a chat room there. same username as here...
i go to 12step-online.com and there is a chat room there. same username as here...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: East Midlands UK
Posts: 502
Originally Posted by mkvan
i go to 12step-online.com and there is a chat room there. same username as here...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 40
Originally Posted by StartAnew68
Again, thank you. Have literally just subscribed. I have not had a chance to look around the site yet but thank you for the referral
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 20
Woke up today with no hangover, which feels nice. Still not too eager to leave my bed, but thankfully its Sunday and nothing urgent is pressing me to move too quickly. Made a plan for myself last night. Made a (long, but likely non-exhaustive) list of my 1. Reasons to choose sobriety and quit alcohol 2. My triggers 3. My plan to combat my triggers/AV and stay sober.
Glad to see everyone checking in.
Glad to see everyone checking in.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: South Africa
Posts: 1,536
I am keen to follow this thread and wish all of you the best.
Please remember that it doesn’t matter whether it’s a first attempt to get sober or a relapse that brings us here. Being here is what matters.
Wildflower, having said that, you had 6 months sober and came back after you slipped sometime at around end July. When I got sober again on 3 June this year, I had been in relapse for 5 months, so don’t be too hard on yourself. Some folks never make it back, so I think each and every day 1 is something to be grateful for.
The 1st week is the hardest for many of us. Get through that and with a good plan and some support (SR in my case) the days will quickly turn into weeks and then months.
Please remember that it doesn’t matter whether it’s a first attempt to get sober or a relapse that brings us here. Being here is what matters.
Wildflower, having said that, you had 6 months sober and came back after you slipped sometime at around end July. When I got sober again on 3 June this year, I had been in relapse for 5 months, so don’t be too hard on yourself. Some folks never make it back, so I think each and every day 1 is something to be grateful for.
The 1st week is the hardest for many of us. Get through that and with a good plan and some support (SR in my case) the days will quickly turn into weeks and then months.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 40
Originally Posted by TheLight17
Woke up today with no hangover, which feels nice. Still not too eager to leave my bed, but thankfully its Sunday and nothing urgent is pressing me to move too quickly. Made a plan for myself last night. Made a (long, but likely non-exhaustive) list of my 1. Reasons to choose sobriety and quit alcohol 2. My triggers 3. My plan to combat my triggers/AV and stay sober.
Glad to see everyone checking in.
Glad to see everyone checking in.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 20
Originally Posted by mkvan
Thanks for sharing this TheLight17. It's impressive that you could make a plan last night. I was barely able to get out of bed... Just curious, have you or anyone else, found the above process useful in staying sober? I don't think I've tried it before. Thanks.
This is my first time making a solid plan, but I was prompted to do so by something Dee said. I think it will help because I somehow forget and erase things from my mind so easily when it comes to drinking and then Im left defenseless in an emergency and AV wins. When that happens, there's no telling when or if I will be back.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 20
Here are the things I have included in my plan so far:
share instead of drink
stay busy (don't overload yourself)
visit SR often
make healthier choices
keep healthy snacks around
get into counseling
maintain gratitude list/journal
play the scenario out
recite mantra to keep perspective
self care/love/kindness
go for walks
live in the moment (don't think too far ahead/dwell on the past)
keep only sober, supportive company
focus on the positive
be creative
have a cup of tea
plan sober activities on holidays
prioritize recovery
progress, not perfection
focus on things within your control and let go of things that aren't
remember that drinking will take you back to where you started (re-read reasons for quitting)
share instead of drink
stay busy (don't overload yourself)
visit SR often
make healthier choices
keep healthy snacks around
get into counseling
maintain gratitude list/journal
play the scenario out
recite mantra to keep perspective
self care/love/kindness
go for walks
live in the moment (don't think too far ahead/dwell on the past)
keep only sober, supportive company
focus on the positive
be creative
have a cup of tea
plan sober activities on holidays
prioritize recovery
progress, not perfection
focus on things within your control and let go of things that aren't
remember that drinking will take you back to where you started (re-read reasons for quitting)
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 3,597
That looks great, TheLight. Don't feel as though you have to do everything at once and become the Perfect Human overnight. Break it down into manageable chunks and the pieces will fall into place, as long as YOU DO THE WORK. Not drinking isn't enough, you have to have a plan to replace drinking with positive choices. The nice thing is that once the ball gets rolling, it gets easier with time.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: East Coast US
Posts: 1,824
Happy Sunday everyone! All good stuff here. Thanks to everyone for sharing!!
I am sticking to my new plan of no alcohol, no sugar, reduced coffee consumption, exercise and meditation every day, and these are just a few. I know it sounds like a lot, but I am very goal oriented (wonder why that hasn't worked in the past with just alcohol?). I may have mentioned I am working with a therapist and this is how I decided to best attack all this. All at once, a complete lifestyle change.
The thing I like most about her is that she does not tell you what to do. She listens and helps guide you into making all the decisions and action plans yourself. Of course if she thinks you are headed in the wrong direction, she steers you back on course with questions, comments to get you thinking, etc.
So Day 2 of my lifestyle change (as far as alcohol, diet, exercise are concerned) is halfway through. Now, the other stuff, like relationships, interpersonal dealings and all that takes time, and can't be measured in "days".
All in all, I feel pretty good about everything.
Have a great rest of your Sunday!
I am sticking to my new plan of no alcohol, no sugar, reduced coffee consumption, exercise and meditation every day, and these are just a few. I know it sounds like a lot, but I am very goal oriented (wonder why that hasn't worked in the past with just alcohol?). I may have mentioned I am working with a therapist and this is how I decided to best attack all this. All at once, a complete lifestyle change.
The thing I like most about her is that she does not tell you what to do. She listens and helps guide you into making all the decisions and action plans yourself. Of course if she thinks you are headed in the wrong direction, she steers you back on course with questions, comments to get you thinking, etc.
So Day 2 of my lifestyle change (as far as alcohol, diet, exercise are concerned) is halfway through. Now, the other stuff, like relationships, interpersonal dealings and all that takes time, and can't be measured in "days".
All in all, I feel pretty good about everything.
Have a great rest of your Sunday!
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