Class of March 2013 Part 55
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,164
Originally Posted by Babs1234 
I think I'm finally getting it ! ! ! ! 
Wouldn't be this far without my March group
that's for sure.
Babs
Wouldn't be this far without my March group
that's for sure.
Babs
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Probably my living room. Maybe my bedroom if I'm feeling lazy
Posts: 1,085
Hi all,
Just wanted to check in - a lot going on right now.
Wife is now 4 months along - it's a boy! It's been tough for her though. She was diagnosed with gestational diabetes and has to test her blood sugar 4 times a day and administer insulin once a day. Her hormones are all over the place and I've been getting the brunt of it but I'm trying not to take it personally and just be supportive by going to all the appointments and getting her everything she needs.
I booked us a "babymoon" vacation in Hawaii at the end of October. Hoping that will be good for both of us. I'm really excited. I made sure we got the first class "lie flat" seats so my wife can lie down and sleep the whole time (8 hour flight from Dallas to Honolulu). We're staying in Kaua'i, which is supposed to be the most relaxing and laid back of the islands.
Work is going pretty good. I told leadership that:
1) I had to be able to take off for all the doctor's appointments;
2) I am prioritizing family over performance rating so my numbers may take a hit because I'm not going to kill myself to bill a bunch of hours and sell a lot of projects;
3) I will be taking four months off for paternity leave next year; and
4) After December, I do not want to travel as much and that I will be working from home a lot more to be with my growing family.
All of my demands have been met so far (I guess they want to keep me around), but I'm still casually looking at other opportunities with a bit more stability. I am trying to give my company the benefit of the doubt that they will step up and give me the support I need.
But I've learned that this isn't just about jobs, it's about me. See, I've had this chip on my shoulder for a long time regarding work. I got fired from my first legal job because of the recession and, since then, I've felt like I've constantly had to prove myself and be the best in order to have job security. Accordingly, I work myself too hard to get good ratings at work (been rated as a top performer for 4 years in a row). And I'd probably take that mentality to another company/position.
But the truth is I don't have to prove myself anymore. I don't have to kill myself to offer value to my company and my clients. I don't have to travel all over the country and do everything myself.
So it's on my to delegate more, turn down opportunities that would take me away from my family, and set clearer boundaries. I'm still going to work hard, but I'm going to work smarter. If I'm not rated a top performer this year, so be it. If my bonus takes a bit of a hit, so be it. I'm grateful that I am already well to do, financially. I'm grateful that my wife is as well. We've both come from nothing and worked our way up to high level positions. We have nothing left to prove at this point except to be the best parents we can be.
I feel content and more in control of my life. I know things are about to change drastically and get crazy once the baby comes. So I am enjoying this tranquility now.
Finally, I need to buy us a house to get out of the city. Will start looking again in December. Downpayment is all saved up so just have to find something practical and sturdy. So will probably end up closing shortly after my wife gives birth. My life is going to be so different a year from now. Hopefully in the best way possible.
Love to you all!
Just wanted to check in - a lot going on right now.
Wife is now 4 months along - it's a boy! It's been tough for her though. She was diagnosed with gestational diabetes and has to test her blood sugar 4 times a day and administer insulin once a day. Her hormones are all over the place and I've been getting the brunt of it but I'm trying not to take it personally and just be supportive by going to all the appointments and getting her everything she needs.
I booked us a "babymoon" vacation in Hawaii at the end of October. Hoping that will be good for both of us. I'm really excited. I made sure we got the first class "lie flat" seats so my wife can lie down and sleep the whole time (8 hour flight from Dallas to Honolulu). We're staying in Kaua'i, which is supposed to be the most relaxing and laid back of the islands.
Work is going pretty good. I told leadership that:
1) I had to be able to take off for all the doctor's appointments;
2) I am prioritizing family over performance rating so my numbers may take a hit because I'm not going to kill myself to bill a bunch of hours and sell a lot of projects;
3) I will be taking four months off for paternity leave next year; and
4) After December, I do not want to travel as much and that I will be working from home a lot more to be with my growing family.
All of my demands have been met so far (I guess they want to keep me around), but I'm still casually looking at other opportunities with a bit more stability. I am trying to give my company the benefit of the doubt that they will step up and give me the support I need.
But I've learned that this isn't just about jobs, it's about me. See, I've had this chip on my shoulder for a long time regarding work. I got fired from my first legal job because of the recession and, since then, I've felt like I've constantly had to prove myself and be the best in order to have job security. Accordingly, I work myself too hard to get good ratings at work (been rated as a top performer for 4 years in a row). And I'd probably take that mentality to another company/position.
But the truth is I don't have to prove myself anymore. I don't have to kill myself to offer value to my company and my clients. I don't have to travel all over the country and do everything myself.
So it's on my to delegate more, turn down opportunities that would take me away from my family, and set clearer boundaries. I'm still going to work hard, but I'm going to work smarter. If I'm not rated a top performer this year, so be it. If my bonus takes a bit of a hit, so be it. I'm grateful that I am already well to do, financially. I'm grateful that my wife is as well. We've both come from nothing and worked our way up to high level positions. We have nothing left to prove at this point except to be the best parents we can be.
I feel content and more in control of my life. I know things are about to change drastically and get crazy once the baby comes. So I am enjoying this tranquility now.
Finally, I need to buy us a house to get out of the city. Will start looking again in December. Downpayment is all saved up so just have to find something practical and sturdy. So will probably end up closing shortly after my wife gives birth. My life is going to be so different a year from now. Hopefully in the best way possible.
Love to you all!
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,164
DD it sounds like you are creating the perfect work/life balance and really beginning to understand and accept what makes you tick. Enjoy your holiday and the pregnancy, I know what it means to you both. Please come let us know when the wee one makes his premier! 
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Sounds like an excellent plan.
I'm sorry to hear that your wife is so sick, though.
One thing I'd offer from my own experience: drastic changes in lifestyle (like moving to a whole new place immediately after the birth of a baby) can trigger post-partum depression.
If you can't delay moving for several months, then please at least be on the alert for signs of depression in your wife.
I'm sorry to hear that your wife is so sick, though.
One thing I'd offer from my own experience: drastic changes in lifestyle (like moving to a whole new place immediately after the birth of a baby) can trigger post-partum depression.
If you can't delay moving for several months, then please at least be on the alert for signs of depression in your wife.
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,164
Well back home and clearing up after early autumn winds. We've a viewing on Monday so cross everything for us, 11am gmt! It's great having Molly home, I clipped her yesterday before getting in the shower with her to bathe her - it's far and away the easiest way to clean her without minding getting wet! She looks lovely and tidy now, with a shiny coat. Already moulting like nobodies business though! Next dog I get is going to be a proper Labradoodle, none of this shedding hair nonsense!!
Hope everyone is okay?
Hope everyone is okay?
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,164
Sorry to disappoint you but I'm English, the victim of a cross border raid. Molly however is full blooded Scot though as a lassie doesn't wear the kilt. She does play a mean bagpipe though!
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