Class of August 2018 Part Three
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Thank you. Re reading my message it doesn't make sense. I meant why can I go weeks but then pick up.
It's still August and I would like to stay in this class as feel such a connection and support from evertone.
My av was saying goes Oh you're ginger on hols in october you won't stay sober so what's the point. Why is it so so difficult.
Anyway I'm dusting myself down and starting again.
Day 1.
It's still August and I would like to stay in this class as feel such a connection and support from evertone.
My av was saying goes Oh you're ginger on hols in october you won't stay sober so what's the point. Why is it so so difficult.
Anyway I'm dusting myself down and starting again.
Day 1.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: England
Posts: 615
Hi all, 11:25am here in England...
Been on here a lot in the past on different groups and found it a real help.
I've just had the biggest relapse in my life, a few months now of constant drinking, lost one of my jobs, my house is hanging on by a thread, I've smashed things up in my house, so many things (this is not me sober!) 6 hospital visits, 2 seizures, Even managed to get a 6 day librium detox on the hospital ward then came out drinking again.
I'm scared of how far this has gone / going.
I've just managed to stop fully and I'm on Day 3 but never been so scared of failing in my life.
I can't cope with it anymore and it's destroying my family and I'm shutting out all of my friends. Really have to make it this time.
Sorry to step into a new group so negative just want to be open and honest and hopefully get support and offer some when I'm able to.
K
Been on here a lot in the past on different groups and found it a real help.
I've just had the biggest relapse in my life, a few months now of constant drinking, lost one of my jobs, my house is hanging on by a thread, I've smashed things up in my house, so many things (this is not me sober!) 6 hospital visits, 2 seizures, Even managed to get a 6 day librium detox on the hospital ward then came out drinking again.
I'm scared of how far this has gone / going.
I've just managed to stop fully and I'm on Day 3 but never been so scared of failing in my life.
I can't cope with it anymore and it's destroying my family and I'm shutting out all of my friends. Really have to make it this time.
Sorry to step into a new group so negative just want to be open and honest and hopefully get support and offer some when I'm able to.
K
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 1,543
Originally Posted by Kit2017 
Hi all, 11:25am here in England...
Been on here a lot in the past on different groups and found it a real help.
I've just had the biggest relapse in my life, a few months now of constant drinking, lost one of my jobs, my house is hanging on by a thread, I've smashed things up in my house, so many things (this is not me sober!) 6 hospital visits, 2 seizures, Even managed to get a 6 day librium detox on the hospital ward then came out drinking again.
I'm scared of how far this has gone / going.
I've just managed to stop fully and I'm on Day 3 but never been so scared of failing in my life.
I can't cope with it anymore and it's destroying my family and I'm shutting out all of my friends. Really have to make it this time.
Sorry to step into a new group so negative just want to be open and honest and hopefully get support and offer some when I'm able to.
K
Been on here a lot in the past on different groups and found it a real help.
I've just had the biggest relapse in my life, a few months now of constant drinking, lost one of my jobs, my house is hanging on by a thread, I've smashed things up in my house, so many things (this is not me sober!) 6 hospital visits, 2 seizures, Even managed to get a 6 day librium detox on the hospital ward then came out drinking again.
I'm scared of how far this has gone / going.
I've just managed to stop fully and I'm on Day 3 but never been so scared of failing in my life.
I can't cope with it anymore and it's destroying my family and I'm shutting out all of my friends. Really have to make it this time.
Sorry to step into a new group so negative just want to be open and honest and hopefully get support and offer some when I'm able to.
K
Congrats on Day 3.
JT
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 1,287
Kit you have done the right thing in coming here. I am on day 3 today as well, and stuggelling. Yesterday and 1st days were fine.
Hang in here and you will get so many people wanting to help and willing to help.
Glad you are here
Hang in here and you will get so many people wanting to help and willing to help.
Glad you are here
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 451
It's very hard to write that I slipped this weekend. The worst part is I didn't seem to care at the time. I just joined the party. I realized this morning that I've got one foot in sobriety, but the other out. I stupidly think I can just move back and forth between them, which is not possible for me. I have to accept being sober as the end-goal, focus every single day and night on that goal, whether I'm alone and only accountable to myself or 'at the party.'
I wish you all strength, and I will visit here often to find a little strength of my own. I'm so scared I'll fail.
I wish you all strength, and I will visit here often to find a little strength of my own. I'm so scared I'll fail.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 2,279
I don't know where this will take me but I'm here on day 3.. I've just spent the last 6 hours cleaning and cooking taking my mind off it and doing constructive things.
I finally sat down outside with a cup of 100% cacoa with manuka honey and basked in the full moons beauty, asking for energy and guidance on this wonderful journey. I end my day feeling clean, enriched and alive..
Day 1 was because I was dead in my bed arrrgggghhhh. Day 2 was still half dead but came right and took a lovely wee girl, my neice, to watch dancing comps. Day 3 because I choose to walk straight past the wine section(unheard of) and buy a raw vege and fruit juice with ginger and turmeric.
So I'm pretty happy right now.
This seems like an awesome class, it looks like I have a lot of catching up to do to get to know everyone, I recognise some of you from the December class, glad to see that even when we have fallen off the wagon we have gotten back up again, every ride has the potential to be the lasting one..
Kia kaha.
I finally sat down outside with a cup of 100% cacoa with manuka honey and basked in the full moons beauty, asking for energy and guidance on this wonderful journey. I end my day feeling clean, enriched and alive..
Day 1 was because I was dead in my bed arrrgggghhhh. Day 2 was still half dead but came right and took a lovely wee girl, my neice, to watch dancing comps. Day 3 because I choose to walk straight past the wine section(unheard of) and buy a raw vege and fruit juice with ginger and turmeric.
So I'm pretty happy right now.
This seems like an awesome class, it looks like I have a lot of catching up to do to get to know everyone, I recognise some of you from the December class, glad to see that even when we have fallen off the wagon we have gotten back up again, every ride has the potential to be the lasting one..
Kia kaha.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 2,279
JT - I just read your post, yes I've been following your posts like some creepy stalker lol
I think what you're doing is amazing, I know how far you've been and how far gone from sight you've been and to read where you are today, even if it is hard, it's just incredible.
Stay strong on this short cruise of yours, just remember your life and happiness is worth more than any drink.
Nic
I think what you're doing is amazing, I know how far you've been and how far gone from sight you've been and to read where you are today, even if it is hard, it's just incredible.
Stay strong on this short cruise of yours, just remember your life and happiness is worth more than any drink.
Nic
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 697
Welcome Magnolia. I hope you find a lot of support here. This is a wonderful class!
Karen, congrats on getting through day 4, well done
Bekind, sorry you had a down day, but proud of you for not drinking that wine I hope today is a better day for you.
Ayers, on to day 3. Well done!
Well done JT. I'm not sure I could have done that this early on. I'm wishing you strength and hoping you enjoy the rest of your trip.
Midton and RAL, so sorry you both drank again. Please pick yourselves up and stay with us.
I have to say that hearing those of you who are struggling really reminds me of how we need to be so vigilant. It helps me to envision the life I want to have with all of it's possibilities. I know the life I'm leaving behind was no picnic!I
I hope everyone has a wonderful sober Sunday!
Karen, congrats on getting through day 4, well done
Bekind, sorry you had a down day, but proud of you for not drinking that wine
I hope today is a better day for you.Ayers, on to day 3. Well done!
Well done JT. I'm not sure I could have done that this early on. I'm wishing you strength and hoping you enjoy the rest of your trip.
Midton and RAL, so sorry you both drank again. Please pick yourselves up and stay with us.
I have to say that hearing those of you who are struggling really reminds me of how we need to be so vigilant. It helps me to envision the life I want to have with all of it's possibilities. I know the life I'm leaving behind was no picnic!I
I hope everyone has a wonderful sober Sunday!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: England
Posts: 615
Thanks for the kind words and nice to be able to relate to some of you guys on the same Day 3 - Red and Ayres.
Last night the burn ups and what felt like strange nightmares / hallucinations were the worst so far so I'm feeling really tired today. My Mums here visiting so I'm pushing myself to get a shower shortly and have a walk out with her and my dog.
My anxiety and jitters are still high but I've been here so many times before so I know it will pass.
I say it everytime that this has to be the last time and I can't fail but this time I really truly can't!
Thinking of everyone else on here too and hoping to watch the days mount up so I can get my life back on track, everything is hanging in the balance at the moment from months of neglecting work and finances, under so much pressure but I guess after this bank holiday weekend to recover Tuesday is the start of turning it back around and will definitely keep me busy!
K
Last night the burn ups and what felt like strange nightmares / hallucinations were the worst so far so I'm feeling really tired today. My Mums here visiting so I'm pushing myself to get a shower shortly and have a walk out with her and my dog.
My anxiety and jitters are still high but I've been here so many times before so I know it will pass.
I say it everytime that this has to be the last time and I can't fail but this time I really truly can't!
Thinking of everyone else on here too and hoping to watch the days mount up so I can get my life back on track, everything is hanging in the balance at the moment from months of neglecting work and finances, under so much pressure but I guess after this bank holiday weekend to recover Tuesday is the start of turning it back around and will definitely keep me busy!
K
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Washington State
Posts: 591
Hey everyone - thanks again for all the kind words yesterday.
And Midton and ReadyAtLast I'm glad you came back too, and glad you're with us too Magnolia, and anyone else new I might've missed. Also congratulations to everyone who made it through another day.
Its almost 5am here and I've barely slept. My nerves feel like they're on fire, I keep having hot and cold flashes, and I've got a bunch of anxiety about stuff I need to get done at work for a looming deadline in 2 weeks. All of this keeps making me want to get up and pace around rather than continue to get more rest. I'm not sure whether to call this day one or day two (I stopped yesterday morning) but it feels terrible either way.
I probably will skip going to the movie with friends that I'd planned to go to, but will still try to make the AA meeting this evening. Karen - I hear you on the social anxiety too. It was by far the biggest obstacle for me, but now I've been to enough meetings over the years to know what to expect and that helps. Most meetings tend to be pretty welcoming to new people and you don't really have to talk if you don't want if you're feeling really nervous its ok to just say your name and pass (if the discussion even gets to you - it may not on its own).
I was texting with someone I know in AA yesterday who has been kind of like a temporary sponsor and mentor to me off and on over the last year and a half and she thinks I should go to treatment. I feel like it would be really difficult to leave my home and cats for a month but she did get me thinking that maybe I could take a leave of absence from my job for like 5-6 weeks and try to focus on something like intensive outpatient, but probably just with AA and maybe other recovery meetings like 2-3 times/day rather than an official outpatient program. I've been thinking for awhile now that my job is kind of a big trigger and stressor, and when I'm not healthy I'm not doing a great job at work, and I'm too tired and stressed out from work to focus really well on recovery, so taking a work break to heal up seems like it would make sense.
Anyway sorry for all the long rambly posts, I guess I just have a lot pent up I need to get off my chest. I hope you all do well today!
And Midton and ReadyAtLast I'm glad you came back too, and glad you're with us too Magnolia, and anyone else new I might've missed. Also congratulations to everyone who made it through another day.
Its almost 5am here and I've barely slept. My nerves feel like they're on fire, I keep having hot and cold flashes, and I've got a bunch of anxiety about stuff I need to get done at work for a looming deadline in 2 weeks. All of this keeps making me want to get up and pace around rather than continue to get more rest. I'm not sure whether to call this day one or day two (I stopped yesterday morning) but it feels terrible either way.
I probably will skip going to the movie with friends that I'd planned to go to, but will still try to make the AA meeting this evening. Karen - I hear you on the social anxiety too. It was by far the biggest obstacle for me, but now I've been to enough meetings over the years to know what to expect and that helps. Most meetings tend to be pretty welcoming to new people and you don't really have to talk if you don't want if you're feeling really nervous its ok to just say your name and pass (if the discussion even gets to you - it may not on its own).
I was texting with someone I know in AA yesterday who has been kind of like a temporary sponsor and mentor to me off and on over the last year and a half and she thinks I should go to treatment. I feel like it would be really difficult to leave my home and cats for a month but she did get me thinking that maybe I could take a leave of absence from my job for like 5-6 weeks and try to focus on something like intensive outpatient, but probably just with AA and maybe other recovery meetings like 2-3 times/day rather than an official outpatient program. I've been thinking for awhile now that my job is kind of a big trigger and stressor, and when I'm not healthy I'm not doing a great job at work, and I'm too tired and stressed out from work to focus really well on recovery, so taking a work break to heal up seems like it would make sense.
Anyway sorry for all the long rambly posts, I guess I just have a lot pent up I need to get off my chest. I hope you all do well today!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 100
Proud of those who have made it back after a fall. I think It is very difficult to bounce straight back and also return to posting on here - you are strong !!
So day 5 here - bit restless again - just getting through the long weekend to get some time under my belt...and build some days..
Best all
So day 5 here - bit restless again - just getting through the long weekend to get some time under my belt...and build some days..
Best all
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: California
Posts: 182
I'm on Day 53, the longest I've ever been sober, so I can't provide the wonderful wisdom and insight a lot of our other members can, but as someone who could barely string more than 3 days, 7 days (20 at the most before this), I'm amazed at how much each day becomes easier and easier and so much better! I hope if anyone is struggling or feels hopeless they can't make it to X day, if you really keep trying, I swear each day is more worth it and becomes more precious. Stay strong all!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 88
I'm sorry to report but I too am back on day 1. I got to my mom's house and got the prep work done for the BBQ, checked my phone and had to respond to a fraud alert from my credit card company. Cancelled the card and rebutted the fraudulent charges, all good. My mom was complaining about getting emails from ebay for a purchase she didn't make; checked her credit card and sure enough, there was a charge. I excused myself, walked to the kitchen, grabbed a beer, and proceeded to contact her credit card company and reported fraudulent activity, and cancelled her card.
Two drinks, but I still drank, so the clock starts over today. Fortunately, not feeling bad, just annoyed to be back on day 1 again, but I can and will do this, and I do want to stay in this class, if you'll have me.
JT, I look at you in awe today, wow, you are doing great - stay the course!
Welcome to all of the newest members, I'll have to go back and catch up on all of the post so I can get to know you all!
Midton, RAL, and Starting Over, I'm sorry you were derailed, but so happy to see you back up and forging ahead. We can do this!
Two drinks, but I still drank, so the clock starts over today. Fortunately, not feeling bad, just annoyed to be back on day 1 again, but I can and will do this, and I do want to stay in this class, if you'll have me.
JT, I look at you in awe today, wow, you are doing great - stay the course!
Welcome to all of the newest members, I'll have to go back and catch up on all of the post so I can get to know you all!
Midton, RAL, and Starting Over, I'm sorry you were derailed, but so happy to see you back up and forging ahead. We can do this!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,320
Good morning all. Day 11 here. Wow. It's only been 24 hours since I was here and so much has happened. Welcome back Kit and Red. So good to hear from both of you.
Not much to report from here. I read through all the posts, and I think while I'm reading that I'd really like to comment on that or encourage that person and by the time I'm finished reading, there's so much there, that it overwhelms me, so if I leave people out, it is certainly not intentional. I am rooting for everyone here.
Not much to report from here. I read through all the posts, and I think while I'm reading that I'd really like to comment on that or encourage that person and by the time I'm finished reading, there's so much there, that it overwhelms me, so if I leave people out, it is certainly not intentional. I am rooting for everyone here.
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