ODAATCAT

Another 24 for me, please.

Plenny

I think I ask for 24 over and over every day. But, 24 more please. Trying to stay mindful and in the moment and control only what I can.

DJTM is not working again today, due to his drunk boss. He just lets his life be kept stagnant. I think he finds some comfort in it. It's driving me crazy. He makes barely enough money for his very low bills and rent, and hasn't made any moves to improve his situation. I'm the one adapting, I'm even planning on moving in with him next June! Because he'll never have enough money to move into a nice-ish place with me. That's just the truth. I'm so annoyed. Is there some other way I can think about this? Sometimes I have a lot of trouble seeing another perspective and I can be very negative. Any thoughts?

venuscat

Gosh Plenny, I wish this guy was more stable and better able to be a life partner for you....I worry that he isn't, even though it is none of my business. But we care so much about each other, and it's hard to watch you being treated this way.

I hope you move in with him because you truly want to, not because he needs help managing his life, and having enough for nice things.

You are so very special....I just want you to have the happiness you deserve.

However, full support to do whatever you choose.....I think you are being extremely considerate to him all of the time. For example, I would be suggesting he look for a second job to build up his earnings a bit.

Hope this is OK. ♥♥♥

Plenny

Thank you I welcome all outside perspective here. I have been really understanding and supportive and I haven't seen much in the way of change. I am planning on moving in for a variety of reasons, my apartment is moldy and floods, and his place is very inexpensive and we would both have studio space. We would be able to see how we function together, and I would be able to save a lot of money and I could afford to have a car. We have wanted to be together for a long time, just to be able to grocery shop and cook and be in the same place would be wonderful. There's this issue of his employment and motivation that's really killing me

venuscat

Perhaps he needs a little help....maybe you can think of a second job that he would enjoy and present the idea....maybe he would be more motivated if he thought he could make money from his art.... ♥

I understand what it's like to live in a mouldy apartment....I am still in heaven every day here....I was in that scummy little place for a long time....and yes, having a car will be wonderful.

venuscat

I went outside the front to enjoy the beautiful morning.....to sit and have coffee....I sat on the chair on the right and laughed.....I was almost covered in flowers....they got big.....super-impatiens.

Plenny

This morning I suggested for the last time that it is time to get a job. It is really hard for me to be with someone who isn’t somewhat equal to me in employment. I’m not filthy rich, I’m poverty level to sub middle class and I work full time. I can’t be with someone with such low drive that he is below me, because the only thing below me is freeloading lazy broke guy. I’m not in the market for that

It’s just not that simple to boil down someone’s character to that one aspect, I know, but it is a big one for me

stargazer016

In for another 24 hours please.

Have a good day all!

kevlarsjal2

I know I must be very biased by my current situation but if there's one thing I take from this whole relationship with my ex: if your idea and expectations of a future together is built on the premise that he will make a fundamental change about his life and you have already asked him to change but he's not doing the work, it will probably never be like you want it to be. He will not be who you want him to be.
I loved my ex more than I thought I could love a human being, he was the first one I was willing to work on myself and make sacrifices for. And I thought he was the same, also willing to do that for me. And this hope kept me in the relationship for a long while and all I did was hoping for him to start working on our future like I was doing. Trying to get him to see why he needed to change, trying to change his outlook on life I guess.
I was extremely sad about the miscarriage (and still am in a lot of ways) but if I think it through it would've never been the way I imagined it. I was hoping to have a family with him and wanted him to be responsible and helpful in that scenario. Truth is, it would've probably never been that way because looking back on the relationship, everything indicates that he is not responsible, not reliable and only does the work if he feels like it. Still lots to like or even love about him but I simply expect my partner to be those things he didn't want to be.

Sorry for being all negative. But in hindsight I wish I had trusted my perspective a bit more and not tried to understand the **** out of him. Understanding why someone isn't giving me what I expect isn't going to help me getting where I want. It helps me to have no resentments towards that person but it won't make me happier in a situation I am generally unhappy with.

lyddie

Another 24 for me please

kevlarsjal2

That looks so lovely and peaceful Suze, you seem to have really green fingers!

erfra7

24 hrs please and enjoy the day everyone

Gilmer

Checking in at 1:43 pm from Boca Raton, FL, USA.

venuscat

Have a lovely time Gilmer ♥♥

Neoo

Goodnight Guys

venuscat

Nite Neoo. ♥♥

John65

8.05pm England.

I'll take another 24 please, thanks very much.

My very best wishes to all.

J

zeppodog

Well got through work today, thankfully it was not a full day and I got done and out before anybody saw how shaky I was. Lucky my employer has been giving me a lot of slack because I'm twice as fast as anybody else who he's trained, it's not a great job but pays ok and how many jobs are there for a 65 year old guy that can't be on his feet all day, I'm sitting down most the time. I've been lucky.

quitter62

24 More Please!!!!

Not sure if we can get through 36 y/o stepdaughter living with us. One week today. No job, no money, no car, no furnishings, no cookware, no credit.....yet she started looking at 3 bedroom rentals to try and move into. Not sure how she expects to pay rent, utilities, food and transportation????
She doesn’t seem too on board with sobriety and drug free living.

Must not like our rules. She ‘joked’ about putting Arsenic in our food last night. Ha Ha! I think it’s TOO SOON for those jokes considering her past. So, if I croak someone tell the police it was poisoning!

Oh.....it’s a 3 bedroom because she thinks she will just go get 2 of her kids she abandoned and move them in with her when she can’t even take care of herself. Lord help us......

kevlarsjal2

Quitter, I'm sorry this turned out to be so problematic I know you want to help her but we can't push our help onto those who don't want to get better. I know how much that hurts. Take good care of yourself!