numberthree

Hi RAL

My understanding is below,

Alcohol calories are different from "normal" food calories in that your body has to work hard to get rid of them once consumed. It also raises your body temperature and heat rate, which burns calories. As such it doesn't have the same weight loss effect as cutting out other food groups.

As a side point, it also stops your body from properly using nutrients from other foods, so your workouts don't have the same results. I'm not sure how long it takes for your body to even out after going teetotal. I know that I don't lose any scale weight what so ever when i am teetotal (although i've only ever done 1 month) but I do feel leaner. I am hoping this is due to putting on muscle but this maybe wishful thinking! Your theory about fat around your organs could be correct and also when drinking, you could be dehydrated and weighting artificially light.

Skrappy

Way to stay strong msn1 & DB! I have a rock concert to go to next week of which I am excited about and now a little nervous about. I am going with my husband and a few friends who all enjoying drinking. I may just say I'm on medication that I can't drink on to avoid the subject this early on. I'm just not ready to share and get judged. It's a funny thing that alcohol is a drug that you get judged more for not doing. These friends will understand when I decide to tell them. I have others who I know will not. I'll take all that on at a later date. Baby steps.

The Insomia I'm experiencing this time around is pretty brutal. I was awake at 1:30 am and didn't get back to sleep until after 3. I've tried reading and meditation. Anyone have any suggestions?

While laying awake last night, I decided that like Darkling(I hope I got that name right) I need to know the score with my body and the damage I've done. A few years ago I went to the doctor. (This was before my Christmas melt down last year that lead me here the first time. Story for later.) I went and they said my liver levels were off and I needed to stop drinking. I stopped drinking for 4 months and went back. They said they were better but I should keep off the booze. We all know how that went. So I know there is damage here and I've been swimming in denial for quite a few years. I need to take responsibility for my health. It will be scary, I have no doubt, but at least I can get the results and work from there.

Welcome NumberThree!

Thanks for listening! Stay strong.

ODAATCAT

Welcome numberthree!

Suze, JT and others with events looming - vacations and events during early sobriety can be very daunting, understandably, but with the right planning, you can get through them unscathed. Plan ahead on what nonalcoholic beverages you will order during social gatherings, and your response when asked why you aren’t drinking, because it’s inevitable, someone will ask. Simply smiling and responding that you’re on a health/fitness challenge that doesn’t include alcohol should suffice. Others have successfully dodged the inquiries by stating that they have to avoid alcohol because it interferes with a prescription medication. Staying sober and enjoying the activities will make this a getaway that you not only enjoy, but remember, sans the dreaded hangover.

Just a thought this morning, one mistake I made during my last sober run was replacing wine with ice cream, my go-to evening treat then. I felt worse than during my drinking days. Not happening this time, lesson learned! I haven’t touched that dairy demon since late 2016. So far, so good; I’m feeling good this round, losing weight, and enjoying the mental clarity.

I have a family BBQ to attend on the 25th, but I will not be tempted to drink. I am already enjoying the benefits of sobriety, so much so that it inspires me to keep up the healthy lifestyle I have undertaken.

Readyatlast, 7 pounds is a great. It’s possible you don’t notice the difference because it was gradual, over a couple of months, and/or you lost excess water retention. Exercise should help to shed some of the fat pounds gained by drinking, but you are already off to a great start.

The torch is burning bright today; let’s carry it forward on this Friday eve and into the weekend!

DarklingSong

Hello everyone in our August group....new and old....
I am confused....I thought Suze mentioned the torch? Was it Mariah? Will someone put me out of my misery and tell me who posted it?
Anyway I love it. When I feel lonely I think of all the souls in this group, all around the world, willing each other on.

SuzesSobriety

Good morning!
Welcome Oracle! The anxiety at 3am is the worst. After I slipped after my month, it was the 3am wakeup call in the first week that made me so mad at myself. I had somehow blocked that part out. Thanks for sharing.

Welcome Number3! Thanks for reminding me about moderation. I can't hear the reminder about moderation not working enough. One day, two weeks, one month....it all ends up the same way. Every time I am reminded of that it is a blessing.

Skrappy, good job breaking habits! I am starting to look forward to those moments where I get to do face them head on and cross off my list.

Speaking of, Maltrac, that is pretty early for a test. I was meeting up with friends, one of whom was going through a tough decision on divorce, who I felt like I had to go. I told them ahead of time that I had to work afterwards and wouldn't be drinking. They ended up canceling saying it soudned like it wasn't a good time. I felt like I had set a rule ahead of time and given them fair warning. I don't want to think about whether that is why it was canceled but in retrospect so not sure I would have made it even so. Good luck!

MNS, I love "nah, I'll pass." It sort of degrades the alcohol/AV to what it is. Somehow I hear that in my head instead of wringing my hands of how to say no to a drink like I am an alien imitiating earthlings who say no. Instead, nah, I'll pass. Or as my kids might say, no brah, I'm good (I am a 45 yo woman...I am not really going to say that, but I can hear it!)

JT, eloquent as usualy. I am copying your description into my cheat sheet on my phone: "AV’s crushing disappointment as I sit there and watch his other victims slowly drown into the morass of brain fog as I watch them sink lower as the night goes on." Also am doing sort of the "spa weekend" approach. See below.

RAL, I really hope you get a good stretch. You are working so hard. Glad you are here. Darkling, hope you are well too.

DavidBrown, good luck with your interview and great attitude (about the interview AND the tech demons stealing your post).

Quitnow, you cracked me up with chariots of fire! I am bouncing between work windows and this on my computer and that got me pumped for both! I love it!

So much great positive thoughts mixed with so much sincerity. JT, I don't know what other groups are like, but I do feel it is very accepting and caring and cheerful yet honest place. If anyone is reading who dropped out, please come back. Is it wrong to call people out by name? I won't, but there are some I am wondering about and hope they are well.

MariahGayle

Was not me darkling......... Welcome three�� Have a great day All

skybert

Hi all! May I join the party?
4 days sober, after a few months relaps. SR helped me into my last sober period, and I loved that fresh feeling- now I want it again! Actually I feel the urge for it
The only logical thing for me to do now, is to come back to SR.
Yes I struggle with «the bad inner voice», insomnia, boredom and restlessness, but I know the last two struggles are temporarily and soon bygons. The AV on the other hand.... BUT, I have done this before! This time it will last (says my «good inner voice»). The fight is on
My wife and I are invited to a dinner with two very good friends next friday. This will be my upcoming huge challenge. Don´t know how to hide my anxciety without a glass or two. I have good and bad days regarding my panic attacks- hopefully next friday will be a good one....

Nice to be back

SuzesSobriety

My check in:
Tomorrow crack O dawn I leave for deep downeast Maine. I will /try/ to keep this short. One side of my family has a beautiful house on the ocean, but it is very far...6 1/2 hours from even MA. I grew up going there every summer, my parents called it their happiest place, my husband met my parents there for the first time. The side of my family that owns it is down to just one of that generation. I love her and she is like an aunt (she is my father's cousin) and is 90. She moved into a nursing home and can't get up there on her own. They are selling the place and this is her last time going up. My sisters and I are going up to send it off and see her (my sisters live in the midwest). It will be special and sentimental and meaningful.

I will lead with the positive. My plan:
--Bringing my 11 year old/oldest. He is old enough to hear all the stories and appreciate the quiet of listening to a 90 year old and the remoteness of this isolated home. He also is my present, my future, my best me.
--Before picking up my sisters at the airport tomorrow, he and I are going to go on a hike in Maine. We love hiking, but it also sets the healthy weekend I want and focuses me on him (JT, spa weekend sort of).
--I have a hike set up for Saturday morning as we are spending the night in a resort town. This will give me an early morning thing to focus on and let my son and I set our own pace
--Son and I have a drone with a camera, hiking plans, both bringing cameras and a few good books so we can really enjoy the house once we get there. I want to sit on what my mother called "her rock" and really use it as meditation and celebration of the generations that enjoyed the home and are gone. Also share it with my son and let him hear the stories of those generations
--Lots of other hiking plans and cooking plans. Basically keeping focused on end of summer and outdoors and early rising.

I feel good about this plan. In addition, I have my cheat sheet on my phone, I have researched different fun non alcoholic drinks to order at the resort and will check in here. Part of my best prep was spending the last two plus weeks here and the accountability therein. I am visualizing ordering that non alcoholic drink, watching their fog (JT) saying Nah, I'll pass (MNS) and visualizing the torch that will be passed even if I am struggling that in turn I will pick up and carry for when you are going through a similar time.

The part I am worried about:
--My older sister and brother drink....problematically. I would say my older sis has worse problems than I do but is on a refrain/binge cycle as is my bil.
--She is also my original drinking buddy with deep wonderful horrible memories and traditions
--She was hit hard by my mom's death, had medical issues and found out she couldn't have kids years back... and dug in deeper in denial to some extent but for sure went head first into fear and panic that someone might tell her to stop (which made her drink more....again, things that no one else would understand but hoping it makes sense here)
--Again thins others might not get. We all have read/experienced the "I didn't drink and no cared" thing. My sister will ask "why aren't you drinking? why can't you have one? do you have a problem?" This is the part that makes no sense. I love her, she has gone through so much more than I even noted. I am not strong enough to get into it and it will open so many wounds on this lovely vacation. Mom and Dad or you have a problem or whatever. I don't want to get into my problem and say, but you are worse. I just don't want it to be a focus.

I am not worried about drinking as this approaches. I am exhausted and a little angry that I have to think about any of this. I am thinking of just saying, "as I am getting older it just isn't agreeing with me." This is true and it sort of lets them do them and me do me. I think it will be a lovely weekend, but trying not to let the irritation of how it would be /easier/ to not have to keep thinking about avoiding drinks. That is my AV.

Good news is, I think if I focus on my son, my family, open myself to hearing about past generations and soaking in the history of where I am and sharing it with me son, I feel strong and so happy to be sober. I just need to get through those first few hours.

Thanks for listening. I feel stronger already.

Bekindalways

Yeah it was Suze who started the torch idea. I think JT (in the UK) and me (in the US) had a couple of days of, "Ok your turn to keep at it" or "those of you with a few more hours of Tuesday, good luck." and then Suze put in the torch idea.

Hmmm . . . maybe we can think of it as passing the non-alcoholic beverage around the planet in a kind of sober communion . . . .. . . .okay all in the US time to pick up that soda/cuppatea/fruitsmoothy and work through the day. Sleep well Brits and Aussies may that head hit the pillow dead sober!

Quitnow, Chariots of fire music made me laugh too!

JT as to exercising because of an intense vanity, I’m all for taking your character defects and milking them for all they are worth!!!

Number3 glad to see you. That sucks that your wife doesn’t like you to stop drinking!

Okay off to mediate and yoga.

mns1

Welcome skybert and well done on 4 days

And Suze you sound very positive you’ll do great!

Aliceiw

Oh, yes. I've been in situations like that before -- where I've been "concerned" about what others may think of me.

And my "concern" has often led me to pick up that "just one" glass of wine.

(Insert long, painful aftermath story here.)

Not gonna happen this time. No way.

I've decided that the most important source of strength in that situation is to remind myself that, really, I do not give an airborne intercourse about what anybody else thinks about what I do.

DarklingSong

Thank you Bekindalways! A brain fog moment. Glad to hear you are doing well.

DarklingSong

It sounds like an incredible, emotional trip. Something your son will remember for ever.....
You sound solidly prepared for all eventualities. It sounds like your sister may struggle with you not drinking. If I think I am going to come under a lot of pressure to drink/explain why I am not, I usually use a health reason (medication/digestive problem/ulcer etc.). However, I can understand why you might not want to be dishonest with your sister. What ever you decide, just want to send you my best wishes for the trip.

SuzesSobriety

"The torch is burning bright today; let’s carry it forward on this Friday eve and into the weekend!"

^^That. Our little miracles as (I think BeKind) said. Feeling stronger by the minute going into the weekend. Need some rocky music before my chariot's of fire!

SuzesSobriety

Welcome Skybert!
Thanks MNS and Darkling. Your words really do sooth me. Thank you so much.

JustTony

Hi everyone - I don’t have a lot of time to post but just quickly:

Welcome NumberThree and SkyBert.

Suze - with respect to your sister and the potential she my push you to drink then I would take the very laid back, nonchalant approach that you suggested? “As I get older it just doesn’t agree with me.” Less can sometimes be more as we all know. If you indicate a fuss then it’s like oxygen to fire. (Have a wonderful time with your son).

I read everyone’s posts - The Group feels ready for the weekend to come and all the great things we will do without drinking.

Back later. Off to the gym now for 30 sets of weights. “Messrs Back, Chest, Biceps and Triceps - you’re in for some pain!!!!” (Say it like Mr T for full effect).

JT.

bobdrop

Hey number 3. And whoever it was asking about 50 somethings in the group, I'm 58. Maybe the elder of the group?

Over the past year, I have beat down a lot of situations that would normally result in drinking. Just recently, this class willed me right past a whole bunch of Irish Whiskeys with friends. I had a plan and it went fine. Monday night, I was cooking dinner and the recipe called for wine, insert familiar story here, and 3 days later, here I am trying to get back on track. Never saw it coming. Now insert all the guilt, shame, etc. Situation has left me more determined than ever. It just isn't worth it. My wife has no clue, so the only place I can talk about it, is right here.

mns1

Have a great workout JT. Just finished training shoulders/bis/tris. Nothing beats working out sober!

Glad you’re here bobdrop

Skrappy

Welcome Skybert and Bobdrop!
Suzes- That sounds like an amazing trip and it and it sounds like you have a great plan in place. I want to take my kids on a trip like this further down the road. Please try and stay in touch if you can. Good luck with your sister. I know family can be a tricky to deal with.

JustTony

Bobdrop - glad to see you back mate.