venuscat

Plenny love ~ hang on....we are with you. I want to come over and hugs you....but my US driving isn't good enough yet.... ♥♥

And kev....people have been all over looking out for me and making sure I am not in an abusive situation....we are smart women, but when you are in love you sometimes cannot see....honey....time to let go of anyone who bites a couch and punches himself and manipulates you into believing it is your fault.

Someone can be all sorts of smart and capable and still be mentally unstable. I think he is. I really do.

Plenny

Thanks y'all. Love and good energy to everyone out there wrestling with stuff. It's not easy to do with a clear head! But honestly it's much more efficient this way and authentic. We are facing things head on not head down.

Kaneda8888

Checking in for 24.

Dee74

I think I would challenge that $230 Plenny - its not a small amount of money.
Never let bureaucrats tell you there's nothing that can be done - thats BS

I'm glad you're feeling strong enough to delve into past threads Kev - I feel there's something good up ahead for you

Hugs for everyone who needs them today.D

Plenny

Thanks Dee, I went to the help desk and told them my problem and the circumstances, and they were on my side, so we marched back up to the clerk's office and advocated for me and the fact that I hadn't been informed, but there's nothing that can be done, I have to be charged. It's very unfortunate.

Plus now DJTM is being stubborn, and telling me I'm being stubborn, he hung up on me because I was telling him I needed an apology for his barging in on me earlier when I told him I was stressed and it wasn't a good time. He kept saying "I'm sorry you feel like that" and I was saying that's not the apology I asked for, and he hung up on me. Now he's texting me saying that he's sorry but only because he wants to hear about my day and I said "You hung up on me." And he says that was because I wasn't listening to him and I said "Who needs support today." And well folks, that's it.

How am I expected to not want a bottle of wine today. If I were a normal person I'd march down to the bar with a good girlfriend or something. I can't think of anyone that I can call to be with, that I feel comfortable with right now. I just don't feel that comfortable right now. DJTM was supposed to be comforting me and listening to all of my gripes about today, but it just turned into this mess. Just like everything else. Just a big mess and I feel horrible.

venuscat

The serenity prayer love....this is when I use it the most.

We cannot change anyone else....not ever....it is crazy frustrating to even try....and not good for us....makes us want bottles of wine and things....

You are NOT a mess. You are emotionally exhausted. And that's not a good place to be....please go easier on yourself. We think you are kind of wonderful....you need some rest and some TLC....puzzles...movies...I am watching a great new one called Adrift....awesome....ok...maybe the title is not the most apt for the moment...ha ha.... ♥♥

Plenny

Thanks Suze. This morning I really really heard/said the serenity prayer. I really "got" it. But here I am. "Being stubborn." I'm sorry but I just feel like I have the right to stand my ground on this one. I do not feel like backing down here. And why is it so worth it for him to be stubborn right now? I can't answer it, I can't control him or what he does or what he chooses. I feel like he's just given up for today. But I am pretty hurt.

venuscat

This is my favourite saying love:

I can be right, or I can be peaceful. ♥

No one is saying you are not right to feel the way you feel....but the anxt hurts. It really does. And letting that go helps me.....breathing it out......saying to myself over and over I don't care I don't care....I am fine....(whatever words work for you)..... ♥♥

Plenny

Well he asked if I'm ready to talk and I told him that I'm the one over here feeling sad while he's being this way, and it's up to him how he handles this. I relinquish effort or control. I don't care. I will be fine no matter what. However, we may not be fine

oooooof

Sunflowerlife

Thank you Suze. I hate feeling like a victim when I know in the end this is all up to me. I just wish it wasn’t so hard. I feel like I have to go through recovery all over again and I think this is why I keep self sabotaging and putting it off. But it has to stop. This food addiction is taking my life from me. I want to live. I want to be present. I want to be able to give to myself and my family and to all of you and I can’t do that when I am lost in numbing my pain and loneliness. I once heard that we suffer because we feel disconnected from the Divine. Well isn’t that amazing? If that is the root of all suffering then I just need to reconnect rather than continue to disconnect which has been my go-to method of operation since I was 15.

And I can say I haven’t been meditating at all. It’s probably been a month. What am I waiting for?? Why did I give that up? The only self care I do is Reiki every night before I fall asleep. But obviously it’s not enough. My soul needs more. I hope I choose to pay attention to what it’s telling me from now on.

You are so kind, always lifting me up. I know I have come a long way and especially in this last year. But man I want so much more for myself. You know? I am not sure I will ever be satisfied.

Love you

Sunflowerlife

He sounds sick Kev. I am glad you are free from his burdens and abuse. One day you will be able to look back on this with more peace and serenity-Just give it time.
And be gentle with yourself. Breathe a little deeper. Everything is going to be okay. And you are SOBER!! how amazing and wonderful and freeing is that??

IcedVoVo

Hi everyone,

I am sorry to hear so many are struggling emotionally, and I wish I could be there and help more. I am sending love and wishing you peace and strength and confidence

Just hanging by a thread physically, and basically working and going home to rest. RA is a nasty disease. I can do this, I can push through this flare because it won’t last forever. I forget that when I’m in it. I am getting through the days. No guilt—I don’t have to be perfect at work. Working at half speed. It’s a bit of a nightmare but I need to breathe and not cave in to distraught moods, that makes it worse. It is good for me to function. I’m sober and resilient. I’m doing this.

The spiritual side is so important when I go to bed straight after work. The calmer the better. My faith is my source of strength. It brings all the physical pain to its most manageable. Worrying about being disabled and unable to cope is the worst thing I can do. Stress is my enemy. Loneliness is my enemy—got to keep my head and heart in the best condition possible. So much we can control. I am struggling and feel alone but my emotions are clouded and distorted by physical pain and the normal stress of managing with this. I could look at it this way: I am getting through and am not alone, and nothing terrible is about to happen. All will be well. I’m loved.

Thank you for listening to me. . I’ve been feeling negative but am working on changing my mind about that. Why not feel I am blessed and live in abundance. If I have to go to bed right after work, and didn’t drink today is still a huge success.

Love to Suze and Pleeny and Kev and my dearest doctor JoJo. I’ll post more as I can—just am worthless right now.

Love to the 24s and 24 for me, for sure.

Xx

Red

HeartsAfire

Checking in & asking for 24 more glorious hours on this, my 4 year anniversary. If you're struggling, please don't give up. I stopped & started more times than I can count. When it clicked it clicked & there was no turning back. I will never, ever take that for granted. I wish that for everyone here tonight.

Sending peace, hope, light & love to all.

venuscat

You will be. I promise you.
I think that is the root of my calm....because I got there.
I felt that way for so very long....so long.....I did not believe I could get to this place. But yes...it can happen. With hard work, persistence, self-love.....and it does for so many of us.

You know I am older than you.....I had almost given up believing that I could ever find the calm and happiness I was looking for....what a shame that would have been when I was so close.

Peace. I longed for it all of my life and now I have it.
Sure....in the last week I lost that, but now my husband is alive and in recovery and I am an independent woman taking care of myself. Good stuff.

Where I am personally, I could not have believed let alone imagined a year ago.

It will come love....I promise. Peace. Contentment. Knowing that you are enough. We are ALL enough. ♥♥♥

badgerden

checking in for 24

badge

TheToddman

Back for another 24 at 21.27 central.

Good vibes to everyone

Quincy

May I please have another 24 hours with a side of being grateful and humble? Thank you.

Coldfusion

Isn't it great to be sober?

7:51 PM in the Salish Sea.

Vinificent

22:51 EDT and another 24 for me!

Suze remembered my milestone today and I didn’t...how thoughtful and kind of you Suze ♥️
I wish you the best because that is what you are and what you deserve 🙏

Plenny

At DJTM’s and after much coaching and pleading and lecturing he’s being kind and supportive and letting me relax. I know I sound like a real pleasure to be with myself! Feeling demoralized and beaten down. But I think I’ll just sleep like a rock. I’m exhsusted

RedBerry I’m thinking of you, your spirit is very inspiring. I can take a page out of your book. I hope this flare up passes expediently