Sunflowerlife

I wear big 80s style headphones to the gym and listen to music or podcasts! Otherwise I go crazy with all the coughing or weird noises I hear sometimes (some guy was clearing his throat every two minutes the other morning and I thought I was going to scream!)

I know these next few months in early recovery are going to be tough for me. Once I get back into non stop ketosis some of the sensitivities seems to subside. I just need to make it pat day three without gluten/ bread.
I can do this.

Sunflowerlife

Zeppo- do you have the book Rational Recovery? I have a copy I can send you if you think you will read it. Let me know.

Lostmyoffswitch

24 more please

Atlast9999

Here for another 24

Awake61

Woke up and not hungover. 24 more please.

Sunflowerlife

I am the luckiest woman in the world. My husband took the kids out so I could get ready in peace before work.
AND there is a 9:45 phone meeting that I can listen to as I get ready.
Win, win.
It's going to be a good day.
I pray that I can be of service to others today, in any way, shape and form.

Love you all!

Sunflowerlife

The best and most beautiful way to wake up!! Nice work

venuscat

See....beautiful....gosh you are bringing wonderful energy today love. ♥♥

kenton

Thinking so much about you Willow. Maybe it's the change of scenery but being on holiday seems to be bringing memories to the surface. Yesterday I started thinking about my dad and the memories were so vivid, I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach. My dad lost his mind when he was 60 ... 2 years before his death and was detained under the Mental Health Act in a pyschiatric hospital. One evening I went to a 'friends and family' meeting at the hospital where they gave advice about spending time on the ward.... it could be a very volatile environment ... I could never take my kids there to visit my dad. Anyway, after the meeting finished I said I was going to visit my dad and the Occupational Therapist used her swipe card to let me into the ward. It was the first time I'd gone onto the locked ward without buzzing the buzzer outside... basically, it was the first time I got onto the ward without giving anyone a heads up. I heard my dad straightaway. .. he was screaming. I followed the sound of his voice to a small room at the back of the ward. He was being restrained by 2 male nurses surrounded by other patients. The nurses were laughing and ordering the other patients to hurl abuse and spit in my dad's face. At first I couldn't take it all in. Then my dad turned his head towards me and something in his terrified eyes softened.... he recognised me, he knew he was safe. But the heartbreaking thing was, I couldn't get him in my car and drive him home. I wasn't allowed. He was detained under the Mental Health Act - I had to leave him on that ward. The good thing about being a hot head is that when I am acting in defence of someone I love, there is no limit to the amount of noise I will make when protecting my loved ones. I screamed at the nurses and then I marched to the manager's office and screamed at him. Then I got the phone number of the head of the unit and screamed at her until she got there. The 2 nurses were suspended and I had to go to 6 tribunal hearings over the course of the next few months where I was cross examined by union reps who tried to twist my story and convince me I hadn't seen what I had seen. But I had seen it and I can never un see it. And that was when I started drinking wine straight out the bottle. I used to visit my dad, have him beg me to get him out of there and have to leave him there. On one visit he asked me to kill him. He told me that if I ever loved him, I would kill him. I had to walk away from him with him calling after me.... begging me to make it all stop. And then I would drive home, stand in my kitchen and drink wine straight from the bottle. Didn't taste it, just gulped it... just wanted to feel numb... just wanted to stop hearing my dad's voice in my mind.

The 2 nurses will never work with patients again and after all the tribunal hearings, they made massive improvements to the ward. I'm still in contact with some of the other nurses - all of whom were the most patient, caring people I've ever known. They're sorry it happened to my dad but they say the ward is a much better place now. I thought I'd processed all this but as I approach the 2nd anniversary of dad's death, it's all coming back to me. And I'm letting the memories come and I'm crying when I need to because I know I need to accept what happened before I can let it go.

I'm so lucky that I had my siblings to support me through it and at the time they said it was good I was the one who witnessed the abuse because I'm the feisiest. ... I'm the one who could deal with it all without crumbling. And I did deal with it .... but I was crumbling. No one knew about all the drinking I did at the end of each day of being strong. And maybe thats why it's taken 2 years to process all this. The drink numbed it... now it's all crystal clear.

I'm sorry for writing so much. I feel like a weight has come off my shoulders ... I needed to write it down to start to let it go. So I'm thinking of you Willow....I'm sending you loads of strength and love and wishing your mum a full and speedy recovery. Thinking of everyone having a tough time. Let's stuck together and not drink. Love you all. 24 more hours please xxxx

Canadian Koala

Hello Kenton!

Congratulations to everybody reaching a milestone today!
24 more please

Thanks
____________
Merci la Vie ☼

venuscat

God kenton, that is horrifying. Thank you for fighting to get those nurses fired....what you went through with your dad is the hardest thing I have ever heard. Love you honey. hug: ♥

Now I need kittens.....

badgerden

24 works well for me please

badge

CrossYourHeart

Quick Sunday check in.

zeppodog

Ya I have the RR small book. checking in for a sober , awfully sick like the worst flu in the world but I'll live through I hope, probably should have gone the ER. but hopefully I'm through worst of it, several days of hardly any sleep is enough to give someone a stroke. thanks for all the support from everboy, pretty cool to have people from all over the world talk to me.

Jack16

Checking in for 24 more. Slowly getting my essay done. Cinema later to look forward to. Gonna take a break now and eat some cheese and oatcakes.

Love the post Sunflower

And Zeppo, thoughts are with you. Hope you feel ship-shape very soon

ShenzyT

Good afternoon,
checking in for another sober 24hours from Scotland.
xx

Anna

Zeppo, I'm glad you're feeling a bit better.

I hope everyone has a great and sober 24.

zeppodog

Kenton that a really scary horror story, how awful, can't imagine being tied down and abused, I would go so insane, and that's a memory to forget. I'm going to start keeping a diary to keep track of my suffering so I don't forget next time I think I can ever drink in moderation.

erfra7

Stop acting so small. You are the entire universe in ecstatic motion.
Rumi.

Dream big. Don’t limit yourself on what you can do, what you can become and the life you can live. Its a dream, it doesn’t need to be “realistic “. Just giving yourself the opportunity to dream will open you up to new possibilities that you refuse to see before .
Here is the truth, you are love in every moment. The universe has unconditional love for all beings. You have gift and talents unique to you, and they valuable....beyond a price tag. The essence the animates you came from a timeless essence that is pure love.so dream big. Go beyond your biggest dream you can imagine. The world deserves to see you at your best, so start by letting yourself dream at your best.



24 more for this grateful alcoholic soul.

IcedVoVo

24 for Red on a peaceful Sunday.

Xx