Daisybelle

Hi Aprils

Just doing my pre bed check in, I'm sooo tired. It's very hot and sticky again, forecast to be in the 80's on Tuesday.

Vipe you said a lot of what I wanted to say to Nichole there. You've posted some pretty powerful stuff over this last couple of days. I'm beginning to see another side to you. You won't be hitting a bump at 8-10 days this time, this time you are going to crack it. Unleash that tiger.
By the way, I don't see anything wrong in being a dog walker, over here dog walkers are very much in demand and I worked with someone who got made redundant, started his own business dog walking which has now grown into a thriving business. It's worth thinking about, plus it'd keep you fit.


Strawberry, I'm so glad you're safe but so sad for those families who have lost loved ones. It's all very tragic.

Great to see you posting again Nichole. I think Viper was right in what he replied to your post. You say your friends all drink and smoke pot and you feel that you need to when they're around. Well I asked you a few weeks ago what you would do if one of your friends came to you and told you they couldn't drink or smoke for whatever reason. Your reply was that you'd give them all your support, so then isn't friendship a two way thing, won't they support you if you tell them that you're not drinking, for whatever reason?
You've been married for 12 year to a man who verbally and physically abuses you. You love him. You got married at 17, do you perhaps think you love him because this is all you know? You are worth so much more than this and you do have the power to turn your life round. Sorry, I don't want to give relationship advice, I have enough problems sorting my own relationship out. Take good care of yourself, keep posting and stay strong.xx

Good evening Erratic, we could do with a good thunder storm to clear the air. Fire is very frightening and causes a lot of damage. Then I saw on t.v that Italy is having heavy snow!!

That's it from me, I need my bed. xx

Donnyb

Hi Peeps, just checking in for another sober nights sleep, and so thankful for that. I love the feeling of clarity, and the simplicity of being aware of how comfortable my bed is, or the smell of the coffee that is in my coffee Maker that I will sip in the morning on the way to work and looking forward to that. Alcohol ruins all of that. I don’t feel my bed, and just pass out in it. I dont take the time to smell my coffee, and am too thirsty in the morning from being dehydrated to enjoy it Anyway and guzzling water instead. I fake life. I went to a dark place last weekend, that I still am ashamed and bothered by , but that is a good thing. It makes me realize how much I love living in the light Of sobriety, and it is up to me to never go back to that place. It is up to me if I am going to live for me and my family and the people I love and most of all My God, or keep letting darkness into my soul through alcohol. I know not everyone is spiritual here, but for me, I feel like it’s not only about living life as an alcoholic now, but also what I believe in and what’s waiting for me after and being prepared to answer for that also. I hate the Drunk Donny, and want to learn to love the sober Donny again.

Strawberry, so glad you are ok and will be praying for all of you. So tragic and I hope you all find peace in the coming days 🇬🇷 💜💜💜

Vipe, you are a good man my friend, and the care you show all of us on here is proof of that. Your sober path will lead you to where you were meant to end up buddy, and I know it’s going to be a good place. Stay strong💪🏼🐍

Nichole, agree with everyone else so not much to add, but hope you find peace and that all starts with our sobriety, and it’s now our time to do it, so let’s stick together💜

Dee74

I was thinking of you in Greece Strawberry - hope you and your family & friends are safe and well.

Welcome back Donny

congrats on your week Vipe.

I think there's been some great advice here Nichole


hi erratic, Daisybelle, and Suzy

D

Viperidae

Thanks folks!!!! 💚🐍

I’ve hit one of those windows of opportunity where change far more accessible. There are certain windows the universe gives where you can just step through, instead needing the Hammer of Thor to crack the wall.

Nothing wrong with being a dog walker at all. You’re right. I’ve seen a person start with a few dogs and end up with a large facility. There are young folks that hang out at the coffee shop all day, that walk dogs for 5-7 clients, and make a tidy sum. I’ll tell you that.

I think my sobriety will open my path as Donny said. Not to flatter myself, but people love me. I can connect with people very quickly. My sister says, ‘People are your wheel-house,’ to me. I guess she means that’s my ticket, my talent, my way.

I make friends in some pretty rough places, with rough people, in the world, and I do it with ease. I do it here to a lesser extent. It’s interesting that I’ll have an entire network in Trinidad and Tobago, Uganda, or Cuba in 5 days, but in Connecticut USA it’s impossible to make a friend in a year. This place sucks. It is really the home of the WASP. I was reading some Christopher Hitchens yesterday and he was going after WASP’s. 😂 I love me some Hitchens. I really miss that English American. Where is our new Hitchens?

Anyway, I guess since it’s 1am, I’m on day 8. A day to be extra vigilant!!! The specter of booze is always lurking. Be careful my friends.

Sending the spirit of the wolf to Nichole 🐺

And a rain 🌧 wish for Greece! Plus a 💜

V🐍🐅

Daisybelle

07.36

Good morning Aprils
It's another hot one here, I had the most awful nights sleep, it was just too hot and uncomfortable. I hope you are all happy, well and sober. I'm going to an awards assembly at school this morning, they hand out certificates to all the children who have merited one this year for either academic work or sport.
Tomorrow is the last day of term and I have a leaver's assembly to go to, it's going to be very emotional, my oldest g.son is leaving and will be starting high school in September. He is on the Asberger's spectrum and is very, very special to me, he's the most gorgeous and funny little boy and is very sensitive. I can't believe he's 11, doesn't seem 2 minutes since he started in reception. Anyway I've got my tissues ready.

Morning Donny boy, I hope you slept well and enjoy that delicious fragrance of coffee. Stop beating yourself up now, I think we've all faked life at some point, I know I have, the feeling of shame and disappointment in yourself will pass and then is the time you need to be careful, that's when you become complacent, maybe it would be an idea to diary your feelings each day, then when the A.V starts pecking your head you have something to look back on to remind you why you need to say no.
I hope work isn't too gruelling today, make sure you drink loads of water and keep hydrated anyway. Take good care of yourself xx

Hi Dee, enjoy your evening.

Morning Viper and welcome to day 8. Have a good day and make sure to be extra vigilant. Keep yourself occupied and keep posting. Take care.

I hope you and all your family are safe Strawberry. My thoughts are with you.

I need to go now, got a school run to do. Catch up again later.
Much love to you all.

Thought for the day..... You were never created to live depressed, defeated, guilty, condemned, ashamed or unworthy. You were created to be victorious.

snitch

This! ♥️♥️♥️

snitch

And this ♥️♥️♥️

Viperidae

Hi Snitch thanks!!

Day 8. I’m just to keep posting today. My goal is don’t drink. Given time I’ll have others goals.

I am officially in post-booze exhaustion. My body expects that gallon of booze once or twice a week. Well it’s not getting it. Also my leg muscles are painfully cramped up. That’s another common sign my body is reacting. My ankle and foot tendinitis is back. In a month those things go away.

I think I’d be stupid to blame the exhaustion on the vaccines at this point because I know about the post booze exhaustion. There is a 2-3 week wait for the last shot. Reassess next week.

I’m feeling positive because I’m doing everything I can to help myself. I’m just doing the best I can. That’s all. There’s a happiness in that, even if I feel lousy.

I’ll be back later.

Donny?
Nichole?

Thanks all,

V

Viperidae

3pm. I’m in for the day. Lock down is activated. I got my stuff done, got some food, and am going to chill. I’m doing what I feel necessary at this stage.

It’s been 3 nights of blockbuster films on Netflix I hadn’t seen yet. The Last Jedi, Thor - Ragnorok, and Gardians of the Galaxy. I hope I see another tonight. I’m trying to keep it light.

Check in later,

V

Strawberry18

Rock that lockdown vipe

I'm off to crawl into my bed ! Night night sobor peeps

snitch

Well done Viper !!!
You may feel awful but it will pass and everyday you don't drink you are healing. I like the idea of lockdown! Whatever it takes to get you through. I would have done the same if I hadn't had a child but unfortunately I still had to drag myself up and out ugh was awful even now I wish I could just lockdown sometimes. I guess my job helps I can do that when I go away 😀 anyway you are doing great. Look how quick these days are adding up!!

Strawberry; I hope all is ok with you and in Greece. I don't watch the news or read newspapers as I took the apps off my phone as I find the news so depressing so I had no idea what was going on. Sending prayers though ♥️♥️

I am in bed. Totally exhausted. We have had a lovely beach day, it was great being in the water with my daughter completely sober and present. I shudder at the thought of how I used to drink on the beach and go in the sea with her inebriated. So, so awful. I am so grateful that is not the case today.

A girl in my meeting relapsed after 2 years of sobriety. She came back today 9 days sober. She had already lost custody of her 5 year old daughter to the dad because of alcohol and now her 2 year old son is with his dad too although she has high hopes of getting him back as he wasnt present when she started drinking again. She said her binge lasted a week and landed her in the hospital where she stayed for 3 days. She said it was horrendous and her drinking picked up right from where she left off. I felt so sorry for her but it was a painful reminder to me where picking up one drink will take me. Drinking thoughts have been on me a bit I think because of the time of the year and also because I am experiencing a lot of firsts. When I think of drinking I just play the tape forward. It is bloody tough to get through some days sober. Like, so so tough. But to wake up the next morning sober with no hangover, guilt, shame or remorse is priceless.

Am off fo sleep now am so so tired still bt early evening but I guess that is my bodies natural way of telling me it needs rest and sleep. I never really experienced this except before my drinking days and that was so long ago I can't remember so this is all new to me!!

Night all. I hope you all get your head on your pillows sober tonight.

X x x

Donnyb

Thanks Dee😊

Donnyb

Hi April peeps,

Strawberry, glad everything seems to be good with you as can be obviously, and hope all is well with family and friends.

Vipe, you are sounding strong and focused and that is awesome!

Suze, glad you had a good day with your daughter, and hope you sleep well and peacefully you Garden Princess 👸🏽

Daisymum, ditto that and sweet dreams also💜

Hope all is well with our entire class💜💜

Today was a very good productive day, and add to that a sober one, and I feel happy. I used to ride my bike almost daily up into the hills above my town, and I loved the feeling of exhaustion and exileration all at once. My son followed in my footsteps and now takes the same route also almost everyday on his bike. I haven’t done it in almost a year probably. Drinking became a more important “reward “ after work, and honestly life in general seems to have gotten busier. No, that’s a lie, life was busy before and I still found time. Anyway, to his surprise, I climbed on my bike today and told him I will see him up there. Now lets get this straight, this is a pretty serious climb, and there was NO WAY him or me for that matter thought I could do it my first time back. I told him I was going to climb the first section then work my way up over the next couple of weeks a section at a time. Well wouldn’t you know of course he was up there, relaxed for awhile and was coming back down out and there was his old Dad pumping up the last leg of the hill!! The smile he got across his face was so great I am smiling now just thinking of it. He was so proud of me, and it may not have been Everest, but when I reached the crest I felt as if I just climbed it!! I know I will be VERY sore tomorrow, but for the first time in awhile, I will also be proud of myself tomorrow. I am golfing with a very sober friend tomorrow after work, then already promised my son we ride again Friday 💪🏼
Night all💜💜💜

Daisybelle

Hi Aprils

Just doing a sneaky stupid o clock middle of the night post, it's so hot and I can't sleep so I've got up, made myself some coffee ( like that'll make me sleep lol) and doing a bit of perusing here.

Loving your positive posts lately Viper, you really sound like you mean business now. As you know that post booze exhaustion takes its toll and can take weeks to level out, that's what I found anyway, so listen to what your body tells you and rest when you need to. Sorry you've got tendonitis , I know how painful that can be, I've had it in my wrists, thumbs and fingers.
I like the lock down idea, hope you enjoyed your films.

Sleep well Strawberry, I hope all is good with you and your family.

You're so lucky to live near a beach Suzy, I'm very envious, I would love that. It sounds like you had a wonderful, sober day with your daughter making precious memories.
I was sorry to read about that girl's relapse , the one from your meeting , I can imagine how devastated she must feel. It goes to show though that we can't afford to get complacent.
I hope you have a restful nights sleep, look forward to tomorrows posts.

Lovely to see your post Donny and you are sounding so much better, just like the Donny we all know and love. That sounds like some bike ride though, you are going to be so stiff and saddle sore ( lol) tomorrow, but I bet it was all worth it just to see that smile on your son's face.
See you back here tomorrow. xx

I don't think we've seen Lovehoops or 3trees for a while now and I'm worried about SunshineLove, I hope they are all okay.

Anyway, I'm going back to bed now, but I'll be back some time tomorrow.

Love to you all. xxx

Viperidae

Thanks again everyone! Lockdown worked. The thought of booze actually raced trough my mind today at about 6pm. It was a fleeting second. I went and took a shower and got dinner ready.

I think ibuprofen helps these post-booze aches pretty well. I’ve got the classic tiredness and stiff muscles and all of it. Today I felt I edged up just a little. 🐅 I had 5% more energy. Most likely, every week I’ll gain 5% for a while. The Tiger is moving his paw.

Day 8 comes to a close for real. It’s a big day for me to make it through because I normally don’t get this far. I feel after 8 days I can keep it moving.

I’ll need to be vigilant on day 9 which is coming in a half hour. Again I’ll protect myself for that specific day only.

The time I get will help me not to drink and ruin it all.

I ran a business idea by my sister today and she was all over it. She’d help in any way she could. Not a bad idea actually. I can run it all online, so I could go anywhere, and that’s actually part of it. It’s one of many ideas I’ll have this month. We’ll see.

Goodnight, I’m closing my eyes 😴

V🐍

Erratic

morn all x

great going viper x keep up the hard work. i should maybe look into doing a lock down xx

me and hub went out for the evening to see the red arrows display, for those who dont know what they are its an airplane display which hey only last 30 mins but was good. The only set back was the amount of time lol spent getting to it and getting home, took 4 hrs in total to just go 32 miles and back lol.

not long to go until go see daughter and willem. Got to bath dogs today which eww what fun as pepper hates it and she needs it the most as she is getting her coat cut as its to long on sat. also have to start giving her some calming tabs for driving down to daughters again another fun treat as she refuses to open her mouth lol guess she is allowed she is getting on a bit as she is 12 like doodle my jack Russel. pepper is a lhasa apso and yup so stubborn and totally erratic in moods like me lol

Good to see everyone posting x will check in later x have a good day if u can xx

kgirl41

Hello Aprilites

Vipe - I'm enjoying your posts and love to see you progress. I chuckled a little when you said "30 minutes to Day 9" only because early on that's exactly how it has to be. One day, one hour, one minute at a time... You are doing so well, keep it going!

Daisy - we have had a break in the heat. I walked my dogs yesterday evening and it was a beautiful night. I almost got myself out on my deck but chose bed and Hulu instead. I'm watching a new show called Handmaid's Tale. Very chilling. It makes a person feel very grateful to have freedom of choice...to not be a prisoner. Actually, alcoholism when active very much feels like your a prisoner. Sobriety is freedom.
I hope you get a break from the heat soon and a solid nights sleep.

Donnyb - omgoodness....fantastic job getting to the top of that hill. I bet you were proud of yourself (and you should be!). I hope this shows you that you are capable of so much more than a life of drinking. I'm very happy for you.

Strawberry, Suze, Rowlands, Erratic, Bluesy, sunshine, lovehoops, Quit4now, Nichole, Dee....Hope you are all well

Day 103 here.

Daisybelle

14.40

Good afternoon fellow April reprobates
I hope you are all happy, well and sober. It's a bit of a strange day here weather wise, very hot but the sky is very grey and heavy, I think there's a storm a brewing.
I went to my oldest grandson's leaving assembly this morning at school, he's leaving primary school and going into high school in September. It was wonderful, his class put on a show and unbelievably he was the star of it. Who'd have thought it? He blew me away. My shy, anxious, arm flapping gorgeous little boy has turned into an outgoing, happy and funny 11 yr old. I think I told you that he's on the Asberger's spectrum so to see how far he's come is just awe inspiringly amazing. I'm so blessed to have him in my life and so very proud of him.

Day 9 now Vipes, wowzers, you're on a roll so keep on rolling. You're business idea sounds very intriguing, you're certainly keeping us guessing but whatever it is, I wish you good luck.

Great to see you posting Erratic and I hope you have a wonderful time at your daughter's spoiling baby Willem. I've seen the red arrow displays, they are very good. Take care. xxx

Afternoon Kelley, I think we're about to have a break in the weather too going by the look of the sky, the lawn will be glad of it, it looks like straw. I've heard of the Handmaids Tail but I haven't seen it yet. It's one to look out for by the sounds of it.

Lovehoops, 3trees, Sunshinelove, Nichole, please check in, don't struggle alone.

Think I'm going to wizz round with the vacuum cleaner now and spray a bit of polish round so my husband thinks I've done some housework today, lol.
Back later. Stay sober you lot.

Thought for the day......
We're all in the same game; Just different levels.
Dealing with the same hell; Just different devils.

Jewel72

I gave in to the addict voice. Feeling lousy and disappointed I gave up 34 days. I’ll be back soon. Gotta break out of the wine cycle all over.

Love to all. This is a special group.

Daisybelle

So sorry you drank Quit and I do know how lousy and disappointed 😞 you feel. I do admire you though for coming here and being honest about it, that takes courage. Those 34 sober days aren't wasted, use what you learnt during those days to get right back on track again and have a think about what you need to do differently. Don't go awol now, just start from where you left off and remember it's just for today. Xx