The Power Of Sobriety Thread (POST!) #7
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,042
I should post what I told FBL privately earlier -- I don't feel comfortable, the thought of face-to-face was anxious-making. My problem entirely. Groups generally make me nervous, and we all have such oddly intimate knowledge of one another. It would have been a plunge I'm not ready for.
I'm sorry because I'm very fond of you all, truly.
It makes me very happy to hear that you're widening your world so much and adopting new interests, FBL. You're ahead of me, there. Congratulations!
I'm sorry because I'm very fond of you all, truly.
It makes me very happy to hear that you're widening your world so much and adopting new interests, FBL. You're ahead of me, there. Congratulations!
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
I’m mainly afraid that you people will see me and say, “GAWD, she’s HIDEOUS!”
Actually, there’s a bit of truth for me in what Courage is saying: I feel most comfortable and express myself most clearly in writing.
Even if I could have made it—then could have made it work—I would probably have stuttered and gulped and been really awkward.
But I would have tried if I hadn’t been tied up.
Actually, there’s a bit of truth for me in what Courage is saying: I feel most comfortable and express myself most clearly in writing.
Even if I could have made it—then could have made it work—I would probably have stuttered and gulped and been really awkward.
But I would have tried if I hadn’t been tied up.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I'm sorry you're disappointed FBL - it was nice of you to try and set that up.
I suspect many here are like me (and Courage) I feel comfortable in anonymity - nothing at all against anyone else here.
I suspect many here are like me (and Courage) I feel comfortable in anonymity - nothing at all against anyone else here.
non-drinker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,841
Once again, no problem gang. I totally understand. I still have a bit of social anxiety myself, though I think I'm just about over it. Seriously, it's something I've been working on for quite awhile. In fact, it's probably the main reason I drank like I did for so long. I still consider you my dear friends and maybe someday I'll get to actually see some of you, or better yet meet you in person and give you a big hug! 
Seriously, it's something I've been working on for quite awhile. In fact, it's probably the main reason I drank like I did for so long. I still consider you my dear friends and maybe someday I'll get to actually see some of you, or better yet meet you in person and give you a big hug!
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,180
Great post Glee! I too feel that you showed immense restraint in dealing with your Mother and her lifelong issues. The situation promises to only get trickier as she ages. Setting proper boundaries now will help the two of you down the road.
Sorry the chat didn't fly FBL. Mid Sunday afternoon in the summer may have been a reach for a lot of folks, me included. Maybe a chat in the fall at night might work better. Thanks for coming up with a new approach.
Have a good day all!
Sorry the chat didn't fly FBL. Mid Sunday afternoon in the summer may have been a reach for a lot of folks, me included. Maybe a chat in the fall at night might work better. Thanks for coming up with a new approach.
Have a good day all!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,179
Interesting how topics seem to grow legs. Anyway, I respect any and all opinions on meeting f2f. As you might know, I've done so with a handful of folks I met on SR. Glee and I have traveled to a few cities to take in their AA offerings as well as the sights and sounds of some interesting restaurants and venues.
About a month back I joined a sober group on facebook. I've thoroughly enjoyed the interactions so far. The woman that started this group just tonight floated the idea of meeting in the UK and NYC in September. She and I have developed a small rapport and I'm lobbying for a FL beach meeting. Regardless, I might well make the NYC meet in September.
Recovery...many paths. To each, his or her own. Haha, just don't drink or use.
Have a great week, POST's.
Carlos
About a month back I joined a sober group on facebook. I've thoroughly enjoyed the interactions so far. The woman that started this group just tonight floated the idea of meeting in the UK and NYC in September. She and I have developed a small rapport and I'm lobbying for a FL beach meeting. Regardless, I might well make the NYC meet in September.
Recovery...many paths. To each, his or her own. Haha, just don't drink or use.
Have a great week, POST's.
Carlos
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,180
Heading back to work today after 11 glorious days off. It's my only big vacation of the year, in fact, I think I took a weekend in September off and that's it for me this year. I still have six or seven weeks vacation stacked up from previous years, but we are short staffed and don't have the flexibility for more. My head is in a better place being away from work and relaxing a bit.
I had read the new Michael Pollan book "How to Change Your Mind" and it totally has me thinking about how fluid the concept of Self really is. It is nothing more than a brain construct to allow us to have an identity and a place in the world. When the Self goes off the rails, and gets stuck in a mental rut, addiction and depression result. It fascinates me how neurological advances in recent years are helping to slowly unwrap the dark mystiques of addiction, depression and mental illnesses. I started to read online a book by Alan Watts, The Book on the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are, another look at the self and who we are. These self discovery books have been a revelation for me.
I guess I am looking to find my true Self at this point in my life. I think I have finally reached the stage where there is more to my life than the word "Addict" stamped across my forehead. Kathy's diagnosis has got me thinking about the meaning of it all and our place in the flow of life around us. I feel it can and should be a positive journey, even when the physical end could be in sight. Comforting thoughts to my soul anyway.
Have a good day all!
I had read the new Michael Pollan book "How to Change Your Mind" and it totally has me thinking about how fluid the concept of Self really is. It is nothing more than a brain construct to allow us to have an identity and a place in the world. When the Self goes off the rails, and gets stuck in a mental rut, addiction and depression result. It fascinates me how neurological advances in recent years are helping to slowly unwrap the dark mystiques of addiction, depression and mental illnesses. I started to read online a book by Alan Watts, The Book on the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are, another look at the self and who we are. These self discovery books have been a revelation for me.
I guess I am looking to find my true Self at this point in my life. I think I have finally reached the stage where there is more to my life than the word "Addict" stamped across my forehead. Kathy's diagnosis has got me thinking about the meaning of it all and our place in the flow of life around us. I feel it can and should be a positive journey, even when the physical end could be in sight. Comforting thoughts to my soul anyway.
Have a good day all!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Hi everyone
Stargazer - Interesting insights and good food for thought. Thanks for sharing that!
FBL - Over the weekend I was running around all over the place, which is why I couldn't join the meeting. One of my stops was to my uncle's 70th birthday party. My mom pointed to one of the tables and told me with dreadful/conspiratorial whisper, "Those people are his AA friends."
Carlos - Good talking to you the other day! Good for the soul!
Today I struggled to drop the rock about coworkers who were bugging me. It just kept festering and I really, really wanted to feed my frustration by complaining and gossiping about it. In the past I would feed (and feed and feed) that frustration until I boiled over at that person. All that ever got me was drunk.
By the time I got home I realized that it was about me, not them. I was the one who was annoyed. This afternoon, I asked myself some 4th step questions: why I was so annoyed, what insecurity was I feeling. I was able to see things from the other people's perspective instead of my own, and drop the rock that I carried around all day. Honestly, it didn't feel good to be annoyed over things I cannot control. To Stargazer's point, my time is better spent doing some good, being compassionate, having a humble, positive journey.
I haven't fully embraced myself (there's still a lot to forgive) but diffusing my ego has led to immense progress in the area of self acceptance.
Kathy - Thinking of you every day, my friend!
Stargazer - Interesting insights and good food for thought. Thanks for sharing that!
FBL - Over the weekend I was running around all over the place, which is why I couldn't join the meeting. One of my stops was to my uncle's 70th birthday party. My mom pointed to one of the tables and told me with dreadful/conspiratorial whisper, "Those people are his AA friends."
Carlos - Good talking to you the other day! Good for the soul!
Today I struggled to drop the rock about coworkers who were bugging me. It just kept festering and I really, really wanted to feed my frustration by complaining and gossiping about it. In the past I would feed (and feed and feed) that frustration until I boiled over at that person. All that ever got me was drunk.
By the time I got home I realized that it was about me, not them. I was the one who was annoyed. This afternoon, I asked myself some 4th step questions: why I was so annoyed, what insecurity was I feeling. I was able to see things from the other people's perspective instead of my own, and drop the rock that I carried around all day. Honestly, it didn't feel good to be annoyed over things I cannot control. To Stargazer's point, my time is better spent doing some good, being compassionate, having a humble, positive journey.
I haven't fully embraced myself (there's still a lot to forgive) but diffusing my ego has led to immense progress in the area of self acceptance.
Kathy - Thinking of you every day, my friend!
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
I’m amazed at the way my time is unfolding.
Every day I’ve got something penciled in, and every day I dread it—but when I finally knuckle under and go, I end up having the most riveting and amazing time.
Talk about seizing the day—I can’t recall any time in my life that my days have been so worth seizing!
Every day I’ve got something penciled in, and every day I dread it—but when I finally knuckle under and go, I end up having the most riveting and amazing time.
Talk about seizing the day—I can’t recall any time in my life that my days have been so worth seizing!
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,042
Originally Posted by gleefan 
All that ever got me was drunk.
I've often found this passage to be fruitful for meditation:
It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us. If somebody hurts us and we are sore, we are in the wrong also. But are there no exceptions to this rule? What about “justifiable” anger? If somebody cheats us, aren’t we entitled to be mad? Can’t we be properly angry with self-righteous folk? For us of A.A. these are dangerous exceptions. We have found that justified anger ought to be left to those better qualified to handle it.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,179
Originally Posted by gleefan
Gilmer - Carpe Diem!
Thanks for sharing the lessons you’re learning. I think it’s generous of you to share what you’re learning!
Thanks for sharing the lessons you’re learning. I think it’s generous of you to share what you’re learning!
I'm also glad that the dread does 180's, GG.
Hi, all...
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,042
Hi folks. I feel like I haven't been around much lately -- maybe that's not so much how often I'm posting, as the comparison between how often I'm thinking of everyone, and how often I'm posting. Like, I'm thinking very often, 10 times as often as I post. Mostly thinking about Gilmer. I don't have a lot to say on that count, but I'm thinking. Maybe feeling ;/ Y'all are important to me.
xx
xx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,179
Agreed, Courage...thinking and feeling. It's raw for me...think I'm moving toward acceptance...not that easy. Plenty of time to play, just with a heavy heart.
Kathy, you're truly authentic.
Love ya,
Matt
Kathy, you're truly authentic.
Love ya,
Matt
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Thanks, Carlos.
I just wrote this on the March 2013 thread.
I was dreaming of multiple successive tornadoes on the horizon last night. I watched as each one formed, and I kept watching to see if any of them would be perfectly formed, where it reached all the way to the ground.
I just wrote this on the March 2013 thread.
I was dreaming of multiple successive tornadoes on the horizon last night. I watched as each one formed, and I kept watching to see if any of them would be perfectly formed, where it reached all the way to the ground.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
((((Courage)))) - Feeling a range of painful or heavy emotions is not always easy. Add to that I’m a worrier, and I wonder if it’ll ever get better. Family, friends, colleagues, folks in recovery cant take it away, but they can be a companion for me through the rocky passages.
Thaw quote you shared is helpful for me too. I’m glad you posted it. Unfortunately this week I gossiped, and I also complained a lot about approaches other people were taking.
I referred back to your post when my mind started wandering towards negativity during the day. It allowed me to have quick refocus on what I’m grateful for, instead of things that I can’t control.
Furthermore, I was able to carry the message forward. A couple of my more trusted colleagues confided they were feeling frustrated by office politics. One colleague is annoyed by the same stuff as me. Another was feeling picked on for immaterial things by their manager. When they talked it through with me, I shared what I was doing to get myself through my own frustrations this week, and reminded them we need to stay on course, figure out the kernel of truth in the feedback, believe in ourselves, and focus on the positive.
I’m not cantankerous know it all, but when people are big ego I tend to put up a wall. I don’t want to hear it. By opening my mind to what they had to say (instead of being annoyed at the way they said it) I opened to doing things a little differently, and ome people on my team really responded well. Opening my mind is helping me meet my teams needs. Ultimately they are my customer and i cant succeed without them!
I wish I didn’t have these walls and tiggers that make normal give and take so complicated. Maybe I need to give that one to the universe/higher power now?
For my weight loss journey this week I did a lot of emotional carb loading. I had an NSV meeting exercise goals. Onward!
Thaw quote you shared is helpful for me too. I’m glad you posted it. Unfortunately this week I gossiped, and I also complained a lot about approaches other people were taking.
I referred back to your post when my mind started wandering towards negativity during the day. It allowed me to have quick refocus on what I’m grateful for, instead of things that I can’t control.
Furthermore, I was able to carry the message forward. A couple of my more trusted colleagues confided they were feeling frustrated by office politics. One colleague is annoyed by the same stuff as me. Another was feeling picked on for immaterial things by their manager. When they talked it through with me, I shared what I was doing to get myself through my own frustrations this week, and reminded them we need to stay on course, figure out the kernel of truth in the feedback, believe in ourselves, and focus on the positive.
I’m not cantankerous know it all, but when people are big ego I tend to put up a wall. I don’t want to hear it. By opening my mind to what they had to say (instead of being annoyed at the way they said it) I opened to doing things a little differently, and ome people on my team really responded well. Opening my mind is helping me meet my teams needs. Ultimately they are my customer and i cant succeed without them!
I wish I didn’t have these walls and tiggers that make normal give and take so complicated. Maybe I need to give that one to the universe/higher power now?
For my weight loss journey this week I did a lot of emotional carb loading. I had an NSV meeting exercise goals. Onward!
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