courage2

A walk is probably a good idea. Even the doctor I saw last week said so -- she said I'm low in Vit D & should get out more!

Gilmer

I'm listening, FBL!

courage2

Thanks for sending out the link. I hope a lot of people listen. I found it very inspiring -- your attitude is so positive, and you have such a straight, honest way about telling your story. I'm grateful you survived, and grateful to have you as a companion along the way.

FBL

Thanks for the kind words. The feedback so far has been amazing. The interview was recorded after a very long day that included my jury duty. My voice was a wee bit hoarse, especially towards the end, but I got thru it. We also had some major technical difficulties when Omar's internet connection went out, but he did a great job of editing and you'd never know we had problems by listening to it.

stargazer016

Great podcast FBL! Your story is so inspiring!

gleefan

Fbl - You are so likeable and such a nice guy. I have listened to part of the podcast already and I will finish up tomorrow. You’ve got some strong sobriety under your belt and sharing it multiplies it’s strength in my opinion.

Courage - Nice self care in going to the doctor for a preventative care visit. When the days get long and stressful I find any change of scenery beneficial. When I first started working my dad once told me the one thing no one can interrupt you doing or stop you from doing is going to the restroom. It’s funny but true.

Sg - It sounds like you might be ok with hours for a little while? Things have a way of working out for folks like you who work hard and have a lot of integrity.

Carlos - I’m so happy at the match you’ve found in NE! You sound very content, which makes me smile.

Badge - How are you?

Gilmer - I think of you every day. You are such an amazing friend on this journey.

Can you believe how long we’ve all known each other? When I drank, I had friendships come and go four times over during this timeframe, maybe more. (I was flighty and not a good picker). It makes me feel so happy and fortunate to have people that I trust for the long term.

courage2

I thought you were getting choked-up. I liked it!

FBL

There was a bit of that too. Sharing my whole story like that did stir up the emotions.

stargazer016

Beginning a week of working until midnight most of the week. Not too excited about that prospect, though happy to be off of the dreaded descending schedule. This is my last full hour week, so we shall see what happens to morale when checks start getting smaller.

I went to a college financial aid seminar the other night, and talk about scary! It would seem that community college and then transferring to a state school will be the only way my high school junior will be going to school. To think back in my day, one could pay for a year of college at a state school by working a summer job!

I am gearing down financial expectations now. I know we will be needing a car for my son within a year or so, but now I am looking at smaller and cheaper classes of used vehicles. We all will need to gradually replace our three plus year old Iphones, and I found that Apple is selling refurbished ones 15% off. There are definitely ways to tighten the belt without panicking. I am hoping to get transferred to a closer store, as I spend 300 dollars a month on gas and tolls commuting to my current location. Perhaps the powers that be will have a heart after the roll back. We shall see.

Congrats on seeing a doctor Courage. It really is something we need to do at this point in our lives.

Have a good day all!

Gilmer

I hope you do get transferred closer, SG.

Gilmer

I have been planning to make some homemade turtle soup from scratch with actual snapping turtle meat for my one son-in-law and me (at minimum--let's see who else dares to try something new).

I've had it before, and it's delicious (although the pasteurized turtle meat in the canned soup was rubbery). It's got just a little zip to it from 1/4 c. of dry sherry (I'm not typically triggered by wine in cooking). Eating the food (or taking NyQuil) doesn't bother me, even though I'm actually consuming a small amount of alcohol.

When I drank, it was to deliberately and calculatedly obliterate myself--it was pre-meditated, not knee-jerk.

So I bought all the ingredients for the turtle soup, including the sherry.

I felt sheepish milling around the alcohol shelves--it was hard to find sherry.

I just put it on my pantry shelf and didn't think any more about it--until my mood turned evil and foul Tuesday night.

Then I wanted to go pound it down. Strongest AV I've had for awhile!

In less than two months I'll have accumulated five years of sobriety!

What a horrible thing it would have been to blow it!

Fortunately, the worst desperation and fury only lasted about an hour. Although I was still in a bad mood yesterday, I was more sad and depressed than angry, and I wasn't nearly so fiercely tempted.

If I'm tempted in any way to drink it again, I will have my husband dump it.

Either way, I only need 1/4 c. for the recipe. I'll certainly dump all the rest!

FBL

Wow, Kathy! So glad you didn't drink it!

Gilmer

Me, too!

I must admit, my chief deterrent was the horror and shame I would have felt in disappointing my SR friends.

So grateful to have friends who GET IT and honestly care.

courage2

Me three, Gilmer. And if anticipating shame is part of your motivation for sobriety, I share it. Sometimes I think, I just couldn't stand for those who know I got sober to know I fell again. Because it would be obvious I was drinking, in short time.

SG, I think a transfer sounds like a good deal. More time for you-stuff, too. Like sleep?

A state university or college is the wise choice for your son. If he can establish a direction in community college, he'll be able to navigate the bigger institution sensibly.

Glee -- funny you point out how long we've all known one another. Listening to FBL's podcast made me think something similar. You all know me better than almost anyone. And you still put up with me!

stargazer016

Kathy, it is funny what triggers one person and not another. Wine in cooking or NyQuil are both big triggers for me and I avoid them. Meanwhile, I still have bottles of booze in my liquor cabinet for visitors and the bottles don't bother me in the least. Once I accidentally took a swig of alcohol NyQuil, and I rushed to the sink to spit it out. Fireworks started going off in my head. It's important that we each know our triggers.

Have a good day all!

FBL

If I were to drink a beer tonight, who would know? Well, I would know and I'd have to tell all of you. It's all about accountability. As much as I love being in recovery, there's no way in hell I'd want to start it all over again.

Have a great Friday, gang!

courage2

LOL!

courage2

Just had an Aha! I've been wound super-tight. I'm running an all-day "kick-off" event for my grant tomorrow that's triggering -- to lean on a theme -- anxiety of all kinds. I think and worry and act and think and plan and act and worry....

Realization 1) this is a very dangerous state. Drinking isn't in my mind at all. But is mentally unsober, and that can rapidly take a person like me down.

Realization 2) how about I use one of the first lessons I learned, and ask for help? Aha!

Gilmer

Good job, Cour!

FBL

Heading to yet another card show later this morning. Only 6 cards away from completing my 1975 baseball set!