Class of April 2018 Part 5
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
08.10
Good morning Aprils
I hope you've all had a restful sleep/ or having a good day, whichever applies.It was ridiculously hot here again last night, no air and its hot this morning already. I love the days, but not the nights.
I may not get chance to post this evening as I am going to Liverpool city for the evening and staying over in a hotel. I'm going with my husband and our friends, whose husband drinks but she doesn't. We are going shopping, then out for dinner etc and as there is a cheap deal on Sunday nights in this particular hotel, we decided to stay over. There is always plenty to do in Liverpool, birthplace of the Beatles, there's always street music and entertainment and something going on, so it should be a good evening.
Viper, that lawn mower you saw really does sound 'the business' you could do with winning the lottery. My lawn mower is just a basic one, but it does what it's needed to do plus I only have a small lawn and I don't have masses of leaves, thank goodness, the few I have are more than enough. The worst thing for me is that my neighbours have bamboo trees planted along the boundary and they are a total pain, I get bamboo shoots sprouting up everywhere and they are a pain in the backside to get rid of.
It was really kind of you to go and get that fan for your sick friend, you went to a lot of trouble to get it and I'm sure she appreciates it. All we have is a fan and like you said, all they really do is circulate warm air and worse than that, they are noisy.
75 days is massive Strawberry, well done to you. I can imagine you are super busy at work now and over the next few weeks. Check in when you can. x
Good evening Dee, I hope it's a peaceful one for you.
I'm off now to get a shower and get dressed, I hope you all have the best day you can. Much love to you all. xxx
Thought for today.... Three empowering words.... I don't drink!
Good morning Aprils
I hope you've all had a restful sleep/ or having a good day, whichever applies.It was ridiculously hot here again last night, no air and its hot this morning already. I love the days, but not the nights.
I may not get chance to post this evening as I am going to Liverpool city for the evening and staying over in a hotel. I'm going with my husband and our friends, whose husband drinks but she doesn't. We are going shopping, then out for dinner etc and as there is a cheap deal on Sunday nights in this particular hotel, we decided to stay over. There is always plenty to do in Liverpool, birthplace of the Beatles, there's always street music and entertainment and something going on, so it should be a good evening.
Viper, that lawn mower you saw really does sound 'the business' you could do with winning the lottery. My lawn mower is just a basic one, but it does what it's needed to do plus I only have a small lawn and I don't have masses of leaves, thank goodness, the few I have are more than enough. The worst thing for me is that my neighbours have bamboo trees planted along the boundary and they are a total pain, I get bamboo shoots sprouting up everywhere and they are a pain in the backside to get rid of.
It was really kind of you to go and get that fan for your sick friend, you went to a lot of trouble to get it and I'm sure she appreciates it. All we have is a fan and like you said, all they really do is circulate warm air and worse than that, they are noisy.
75 days is massive Strawberry, well done to you. I can imagine you are super busy at work now and over the next few weeks. Check in when you can. x
Good evening Dee, I hope it's a peaceful one for you.
I'm off now to get a shower and get dressed, I hope you all have the best day you can. Much love to you all. xxx
Thought for today.... Three empowering words.... I don't drink!
Say cheese!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
Hi everyone, i thought i would post as i seem to be able to talk a bit more x
Sry i havent been able to post much but i have been keeping up daily in how u all are getting on x congrats on everyone who is still sober and also to any like me who is still fighting to be sober x
This past few days have been better for me and husband. past few weeks we have been bitching to each other and not communicating well as usual its the drink but also my emotions have been going hay wire which i become very sensitive to others words and moods and also get paranoid which is all part of my mental health problems. I also stopped seeing my alcohol councillor as i couldnt keep my appointment and left a message that i dont know what i am doing and is that i didnt want another appointment just now as i dont know what i am doing. on that he kept phoning and i refused to pick up the phone to him, now he has sent me an appointment for this coming wed which i cant make and i really dont have it in me to explain and have any confrontation about my reasoning. I have my pdoc on that wed and its enough that i am going to have to explain and go over on what going on in my head. So thats why i havent posted as i am just sick of myself and sick of not able to do anything about my drinking. The only good thing just now is that i am going to see my daughter and grandson at the end of the month and i know i wont be drinking then. Sry for being bleak dont get me wrong i am still trying to work things out with myself.
have a good sunday and i will still be around and will try to post my thoughts more and try to hold some sort of conversation with u great peeps xx
Sry i havent been able to post much but i have been keeping up daily in how u all are getting on x congrats on everyone who is still sober and also to any like me who is still fighting to be sober x
This past few days have been better for me and husband. past few weeks we have been bitching to each other and not communicating well as usual its the drink but also my emotions have been going hay wire which i become very sensitive to others words and moods and also get paranoid which is all part of my mental health problems. I also stopped seeing my alcohol councillor as i couldnt keep my appointment and left a message that i dont know what i am doing and is that i didnt want another appointment just now as i dont know what i am doing. on that he kept phoning and i refused to pick up the phone to him, now he has sent me an appointment for this coming wed which i cant make and i really dont have it in me to explain and have any confrontation about my reasoning. I have my pdoc on that wed and its enough that i am going to have to explain and go over on what going on in my head. So thats why i havent posted as i am just sick of myself and sick of not able to do anything about my drinking. The only good thing just now is that i am going to see my daughter and grandson at the end of the month and i know i wont be drinking then. Sry for being bleak dont get me wrong i am still trying to work things out with myself.
have a good sunday and i will still be around and will try to post my thoughts more and try to hold some sort of conversation with u great peeps xx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Hey all,
Am just in bed. I get up really early now and by evening I am shattered! I said to my friend today i have no idea how I managed to cope when I was drinking!!
We went to the park and I sunbathed with my friend whilst out girls played. I was telling her about my alcoholic cousin and how bad she was at the height of her alcoholism and she is dead now and my mind started thinking I wasn't as bad as she was and maybe I could drink afterall. 😳😳 scary and I am glad I recognised those thoughts. Alcohol....cunning, baffling and powerful. We must remain ever vigilant.
I hope you are having a lovely evening Daisy, can't wait to hear about it!!
Erratic, I am sorry you are having a tough time. Acceptance and Surrender were the keys to freedom from alcohol for me.
I can hardly keep my eyes open. Sleep well everyone x x
Am just in bed. I get up really early now and by evening I am shattered! I said to my friend today i have no idea how I managed to cope when I was drinking!!
We went to the park and I sunbathed with my friend whilst out girls played. I was telling her about my alcoholic cousin and how bad she was at the height of her alcoholism and she is dead now and my mind started thinking I wasn't as bad as she was and maybe I could drink afterall. 😳😳 scary and I am glad I recognised those thoughts. Alcohol....cunning, baffling and powerful. We must remain ever vigilant.
I hope you are having a lovely evening Daisy, can't wait to hear about it!!
Erratic, I am sorry you are having a tough time. Acceptance and Surrender were the keys to freedom from alcohol for me.
I can hardly keep my eyes open. Sleep well everyone x x
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 1,055
Hi Erratic, So glad you posted! I hope you can get the help you need and break the vicious cycle. Keep reading, keep posting...we understand.
Rowlands, Welcome back! You said it spot on...When we drink we become self-serving, self absorbed. When we’re sober, we are able to serve those around us in such a healthy way. Thats how it goes for me too and I know my family likes me a whole lot better when I’m wine free. We can do this!
Daisy and Suze, Sleep well.
I’m at 25 days Had a nice weekend. Husband and I went to a bar Friday night to listen to live music. It was fun...ordered a Diet Coke with no temptation to drink, got tired around 10:30 so went home to go to bed. Got up Saturday morning feeling great and went for a nice run with a friend. It just feels so good to live normally! Go out, enjoy yourself, wake up feeling great. Drinking will not fit into my lifestyle anymore.
Hi Viper, Donny, 3trees, Bluesy, Dee, and all my other April classmates.
I’ve got a very busy week ahead with my kids VBS, so I’ll be checking in but might not be posting much. Love and hugs to all.
Rowlands, Welcome back! You said it spot on...When we drink we become self-serving, self absorbed. When we’re sober, we are able to serve those around us in such a healthy way. Thats how it goes for me too and I know my family likes me a whole lot better when I’m wine free. We can do this!
Daisy and Suze, Sleep well.
I’m at 25 days Had a nice weekend. Husband and I went to a bar Friday night to listen to live music. It was fun...ordered a Diet Coke with no temptation to drink, got tired around 10:30 so went home to go to bed. Got up Saturday morning feeling great and went for a nice run with a friend. It just feels so good to live normally! Go out, enjoy yourself, wake up feeling great. Drinking will not fit into my lifestyle anymore.
Hi Viper, Donny, 3trees, Bluesy, Dee, and all my other April classmates.
I’ve got a very busy week ahead with my kids VBS, so I’ll be checking in but might not be posting much. Love and hugs to all.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi Erratic - I know its hard when you have more than one issue to deal with but maybe you can find a little more time to post and read here each day - you seem to do better when you do that, and to me you seem to be happier in yourself when not drinking? 
D
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 199
Hi Aprils!
Daisy, happy 100 days!! You should be at 101 now, right ? You’re doing amazing ! Keep it up and thank you for inspiring us all on the daily!
I am going to catch up on weekend posts over coffee tomorrow morning.
My sisters husband died suddenly a couple days ago and as you can imagine, it’s been a tough time for everyone, especially on her 3 boys
.
Life is crazy, one minute we are here, the next we can be gone, just like that! In a snap. Makes me even more grateful for my sobriety and for all of you!!
Until tomorrow, sweet dreams all!
Daisy, happy 100 days!! You should be at 101 now, right ? You’re doing amazing ! Keep it up and thank you for inspiring us all on the daily!
I am going to catch up on weekend posts over coffee tomorrow morning.
My sisters husband died suddenly a couple days ago and as you can imagine, it’s been a tough time for everyone, especially on her 3 boys
. Life is crazy, one minute we are here, the next we can be gone, just like that! In a snap. Makes me even more grateful for my sobriety and for all of you!!
Until tomorrow, sweet dreams all!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 1,055
Bluesy, I am so sorry for your sister's loss and your loss. That is sad news. Thinking of her, her boys, and your family as you mourn this loss. You're right though, how wonderful you are able to go through this with a sober mind and heart. You can be there and present for your family.
Say cheese!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
Thanks dee, i am here and do read a bit so yeah i need to post more and try harder x
I just hate moaning about myself and my self worth is at an all time low and feel i cant contribute much to a conversation. I did see and post on glimmer thread which i should stop feeling sry for myself and being self centred. so i will try harder again as ur right i can be happier with out drinking and also if i read more posts which i will admit i am not spending much time outside of this thread just now. x so tx for everyone replies to my post i will commit more to this xx
have a good monday if u can and sry bluesy about ur brother in law and the loss ur sister is going through and her kids x
I just hate moaning about myself and my self worth is at an all time low and feel i cant contribute much to a conversation. I did see and post on glimmer thread which i should stop feeling sry for myself and being self centred. so i will try harder again as ur right i can be happier with out drinking and also if i read more posts which i will admit i am not spending much time outside of this thread just now. x so tx for everyone replies to my post i will commit more to this xx
have a good monday if u can and sry bluesy about ur brother in law and the loss ur sister is going through and her kids x
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Well done Strawberry, Quit and Daisy! Daisy, 100 days thats fantastic, I must have missed that post!
How are you Viper, Rowlands, Erratic and Nichole? Please take it from us that living sober is so much better than drinking. It does take hard work and effort but we are all worth it dammitt!
Blusey, I am so sorry to hear your news. My friends brother in law died unexpectadly a couple of months ago. He had a fall at work and was so badly brain damaged they had to turn the life support off. Life is so very precious. It makes me more determined to be clean and sober and enjoy every minute.
I am saying prayers for you and your family.
I have just got home from my meeting. Ahhh it was so good to go after the weekend. 2 young boys came in. I would put them between 18 and 21. First meeting. Kudos to them. I am absolutely shattered today for some reason so I am.taking myself off for a nice little afternoon nap! If I was drinking I would always come home and get back into bed to nurse.my hangover ugh. Gross. No hangover today 😀 just pure sober tiredness. No guilt, no shame, I am gonna nap when I need to!
Have a great day everyone.
How are you Viper, Rowlands, Erratic and Nichole? Please take it from us that living sober is so much better than drinking. It does take hard work and effort but we are all worth it dammitt!
Blusey, I am so sorry to hear your news. My friends brother in law died unexpectadly a couple of months ago. He had a fall at work and was so badly brain damaged they had to turn the life support off. Life is so very precious. It makes me more determined to be clean and sober and enjoy every minute.
I am saying prayers for you and your family.
I have just got home from my meeting. Ahhh it was so good to go after the weekend. 2 young boys came in. I would put them between 18 and 21. First meeting. Kudos to them. I am absolutely shattered today for some reason so I am.taking myself off for a nice little afternoon nap! If I was drinking I would always come home and get back into bed to nurse.my hangover ugh. Gross. No hangover today 😀 just pure sober tiredness. No guilt, no shame, I am gonna nap when I need to!
Have a great day everyone.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 199
Hola Aprils and happy Monday!
Daisy, hope you are having fun in Liverpool!! Can't wait to hear more about it! Enjoy your day!
Congrats Strawberry and Quit on your sober milestones - keep it up !! You are doing amazzzzing!
Thanks Suze, and sorry to hear about your friends brother in law. My sister's husband was in a skiing accident 6 years ago in Montana where they lived. In a nutshell, he had a VERy serious traumatic brain injury and was in a coma for many months. When he became conscious again, it was a loooong road of rehab, speech therapy, etc etc.. BUT, he was not the same person and prone to violent outbreaks due to the TBI. Very difficult on my sister and the 3 boys.
He just recently went to stay with his parents in Missouri and was riding his bike in 100+ degree weather, had a grand mal seizure and died. Just a tragic ending to a tragic story. The family is strong through and everyone will get through it.
It's worth noting that he had given up alcohol 6 months before his accident and the docs said he likely wouldn't have made it out of his coma or would have had a harder time healing his brain if he was drinking a 12 pack of beer a day as he was before he quit. Alcohol is the worst thing for our precious brains, our bodies in general, and our very soul...poison that erodes anything and everything that is beautiful in our fragile human bodies...
I had a dream last night (or should I say nightmare) that I drank and was calling my doc for more benzos to get through it. I literally could NOT believe that I did it AGAIN. Now I had to start fro scratch, all over again??? Was is worth it?? HECK NOOOO! Thank goodness I woke up and it wasn't true but it took me a minute to realize that it wasn't and I could not be more grateful this morning to have opened my eyes sober, knowing that drinking is a living nightmare for me personally and this time it was only in my head, yet a stark reminder to me of how easy it would be to fall back into the dark abyss.. Today I say no thank you to that life and thank you for this magnificent, sweet and beautiful life of sobriety! Worth fighting for each and every day...
Love to you all! Donny, Vipe, Rowlands, Dee, Lovehoops, Nichole, Erratic, Kgirl, 3trees....who am I missing? We def need a roll call!
Have a great day!!
105 days
Daisy, hope you are having fun in Liverpool!! Can't wait to hear more about it! Enjoy your day!
Congrats Strawberry and Quit on your sober milestones - keep it up !! You are doing amazzzzing!
Thanks Suze, and sorry to hear about your friends brother in law. My sister's husband was in a skiing accident 6 years ago in Montana where they lived. In a nutshell, he had a VERy serious traumatic brain injury and was in a coma for many months. When he became conscious again, it was a loooong road of rehab, speech therapy, etc etc.. BUT, he was not the same person and prone to violent outbreaks due to the TBI. Very difficult on my sister and the 3 boys.
He just recently went to stay with his parents in Missouri and was riding his bike in 100+ degree weather, had a grand mal seizure and died. Just a tragic ending to a tragic story. The family is strong through and everyone will get through it.
It's worth noting that he had given up alcohol 6 months before his accident and the docs said he likely wouldn't have made it out of his coma or would have had a harder time healing his brain if he was drinking a 12 pack of beer a day as he was before he quit. Alcohol is the worst thing for our precious brains, our bodies in general, and our very soul...poison that erodes anything and everything that is beautiful in our fragile human bodies...
I had a dream last night (or should I say nightmare) that I drank and was calling my doc for more benzos to get through it. I literally could NOT believe that I did it AGAIN. Now I had to start fro scratch, all over again??? Was is worth it?? HECK NOOOO! Thank goodness I woke up and it wasn't true but it took me a minute to realize that it wasn't and I could not be more grateful this morning to have opened my eyes sober, knowing that drinking is a living nightmare for me personally and this time it was only in my head, yet a stark reminder to me of how easy it would be to fall back into the dark abyss.. Today I say no thank you to that life and thank you for this magnificent, sweet and beautiful life of sobriety! Worth fighting for each and every day...
Love to you all! Donny, Vipe, Rowlands, Dee, Lovehoops, Nichole, Erratic, Kgirl, 3trees....who am I missing? We def need a roll call!
Have a great day!!
105 days
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 119
Hello All!
Hope all is well.
I am still here...i have just been running ragged through the weekend and now at work.
Getting off soon to do some writing and then go on an epic bike ride with the family.
I will catch up soon.
take care of yourselves!
Hope all is well.
I am still here...i have just been running ragged through the weekend and now at work.
Getting off soon to do some writing and then go on an epic bike ride with the family.
I will catch up soon.
take care of yourselves!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Originally Posted by xxxNICHOLExxx 
I’m not in a good place
Maybe someone else will have better advice or experience that they can give you.
Am really hoping you feel better soon.
X.x
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Blusey, aww thats so sad 😢😢 life can ne so cruel. It is good to hear he had some sobriety, alot of people will never get to experience that ♥️
Ugh dfinking dreams are the worst, but almost worth having for the sheer relief and euphoria of realising you haven't actually drunk! Whooops that is the addict in me talking, only I could get addicted to the feeling of waking to realise you only dreamt you were dreaming 😳🤔😂
Am off to bed, despite my nap am literally exhausted. Night all
X.x
Ugh dfinking dreams are the worst, but almost worth having for the sheer relief and euphoria of realising you haven't actually drunk! Whooops that is the addict in me talking, only I could get addicted to the feeling of waking to realise you only dreamt you were dreaming 😳🤔😂
Am off to bed, despite my nap am literally exhausted. Night all
X.x
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
23.10
Good evening my lovely bunch of April reprobates
its a very late check in from me. I'm so tired I can barely keep my eyes open so I'm going to love you and leave you and come back tomorrow. I had a really good time in Liverpool, tell you all about it tomorrow.
Much love to you all.
Dxx
Good evening my lovely bunch of April reprobates
its a very late check in from me. I'm so tired I can barely keep my eyes open so I'm going to love you and leave you and come back tomorrow. I had a really good time in Liverpool, tell you all about it tomorrow.
Much love to you all.
Dxx
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Iowa
Posts: 627
Daisy - I'm a couple days late but I am so proud of you....100 Days!! Yay!! Thank you for being the glue that holds us all together. Much love to you!
Suze - that's crazy...I lost a cousin to alcoholism as well. She literally drank herself to death at age 37 two months later my brother died of a drug overdose at age 35. This was six years ago. What a terrible year. It did scare me enough to stop drinking for a while but I wasn't working a program and ended up right back to drinking.
I am traveling for work today and tomorrow. I'm exhausted after a long day of training. I'm training to be a Certified Scrum Master....anyone familiar with Agile and Scrum? It's a framework for software development. Training was great but I woke up very early to travel almost three hours this morning. Once I checked in I ordered room service, ate, showered and now I'm laying in bed. It's only 6:30pm but this is where I'll stay until I fall asleep lol
When I checked in they gave me a ticket for a free complimentary drink at the bar. (eyeroll) why is alcohol so glorified? No wonder so many people struggle. I wasn't at all triggered...if anything I was irritated. Why can't I get a free diet coke or a free cookie or something?
Hope everyone is doing well. I'm on Day 97 and in a really good place. I am truly loving sobriety. In those moments where I think about drinking (because I still do) I always think about how I don't want to give up my sobriety. For the first time in my life I want sobriety more than I want to drink. But I'm also fully aware that I'm not consistently waking up for my "Miracle Morning" lately and I really need to get back on track with it before complacency settles in and I forget how much I love being sober!
Have a wonderful evening lovies. I'm about to binge watch Netflix until my eyes won't stay open. Then another day of training tomorrow and I'll be heading back home.
Take care,
Kelley
Suze - that's crazy...I lost a cousin to alcoholism as well. She literally drank herself to death at age 37
two months later my brother died of a drug overdose at age 35. This was six years ago. What a terrible year. It did scare me enough to stop drinking for a while but I wasn't working a program and ended up right back to drinking. I am traveling for work today and tomorrow. I'm exhausted after a long day of training. I'm training to be a Certified Scrum Master....anyone familiar with Agile and Scrum? It's a framework for software development. Training was great but I woke up very early to travel almost three hours this morning. Once I checked in I ordered room service, ate, showered and now I'm laying in bed. It's only 6:30pm but this is where I'll stay until I fall asleep lol
When I checked in they gave me a ticket for a free complimentary drink at the bar. (eyeroll) why is alcohol so glorified? No wonder so many people struggle. I wasn't at all triggered...if anything I was irritated. Why can't I get a free diet coke or a free cookie or something?
Hope everyone is doing well. I'm on Day 97 and in a really good place. I am truly loving sobriety. In those moments where I think about drinking (because I still do) I always think about how I don't want to give up my sobriety. For the first time in my life I want sobriety more than I want to drink. But I'm also fully aware that I'm not consistently waking up for my "Miracle Morning" lately and I really need to get back on track with it before complacency settles in and I forget how much I love being sober!
Have a wonderful evening lovies. I'm about to binge watch Netflix until my eyes won't stay open. Then another day of training tomorrow and I'll be heading back home.
Take care,
Kelley
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 752
Bluesymusey sry for your loss!!!! Love to you and your family!!!!
So today I watch my 17 year old cousin put his moms ashes into the ground and covered the hole my heart is broken for her kids but I read the police report and most likely she was messed up when they crashed knowing she died an addict has made me think a lot I’m scared to die an addict but stopping has been an issue I look at my two beautiful kids only 4 and 6 and think time has just flew by me I want to be a better person and a better mom but I can’t wake up I’ve been drinking all day and i don’t know why I know life is better without getting drunk and blacking out every night but I’m having a problem letting go for good I’m starting to think I truly need rehab before I’m the next one to be buried
So today I watch my 17 year old cousin put his moms ashes into the ground and covered the hole my heart is broken for her kids but I read the police report and most likely she was messed up when they crashed knowing she died an addict has made me think a lot I’m scared to die an addict but stopping has been an issue I look at my two beautiful kids only 4 and 6 and think time has just flew by me I want to be a better person and a better mom but I can’t wake up I’ve been drinking all day and i don’t know why I know life is better without getting drunk and blacking out every night but I’m having a problem letting go for good I’m starting to think I truly need rehab before I’m the next one to be buried
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Originally Posted by xxxNICHOLExxx
Bluesymusey sry for your loss!!!! Love to you and your family!!!!
So today I watch my 17 year old cousin put his moms ashes into the ground and covered the hole my heart is broken for her kids but I read the police report and most likely she was messed up when they crashed knowing she died an addict has made me think a lot I’m scared to die an addict but stopping has been an issue I look at my two beautiful kids only 4 and 6 and think time has just flew by me I want to be a better person and a better mom but I can’t wake up I’ve been drinking all day and i don’t know why I know life is better without getting drunk and blacking out every night but I’m having a problem letting go for good I’m starting to think I truly need rehab before I’m the next one to be buried
So today I watch my 17 year old cousin put his moms ashes into the ground and covered the hole my heart is broken for her kids but I read the police report and most likely she was messed up when they crashed knowing she died an addict has made me think a lot I’m scared to die an addict but stopping has been an issue I look at my two beautiful kids only 4 and 6 and think time has just flew by me I want to be a better person and a better mom but I can’t wake up I’ve been drinking all day and i don’t know why I know life is better without getting drunk and blacking out every night but I’m having a problem letting go for good I’m starting to think I truly need rehab before I’m the next one to be buried
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