Class of May 2018 Part 2
Thanks theckept—
Yep. Bumming.
Telling my boyfriend who lives to drink I am going to try again—no response.
I think he likes me as a drinking partner.
Dee74. Yes. Time will tell if he stays in my life. Must guard my sobriety.
Yep. Bumming.
Telling my boyfriend who lives to drink I am going to try again—no response.
I think he likes me as a drinking partner.
Dee74. Yes. Time will tell if he stays in my life. Must guard my sobriety.
Off to bed for an early night class. Been a tough day, constant thoughts of wanting just one shot of whisky, I didn't drink whisky before quitting lol. I have no intention of drinking but it's been a constant mental tug of war all day with the AV. Tomorrow is another new day, going to keep busy, go swimming and make some asparagus soup. Take care class and be good x
Just starting my day 1. I've been here before. I've been trying to limit my drinking but it never works. I'll tell myself I'll just have two beers and it turns into eight or ten! Why? Anyone else deal with this? I've been drinking a lot in the last month and am ready to quit for good. I feel angry, sick and tired. Thank you for being here.
Thanks D for reminding me again exactly what the AV keeps saying ... 😳
“yeah 'only a couple'; this is the last time'; I don't really have that much of a problem'; 'I deserve a drink after that'; 'I need to unwind'; 'I just don't care tonight...'...”
I’m trying not to listen to it but I’m so used to giving in to it.
I think I’m in a different time zone to everyone else, it’s Tuesday morning here, I’m getting ready for work and I’m on day 9, the longest I’ve been alcohol free in a long long time.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 454
Welcome, new May 18 friends! It's a great group to be in. We all stumble, and then we get back up and brush each other off and try again.
Starting day 9. It's been a really great run for me so far. I am apprehensive about 3 nights in a house with a mini bar. My most vulnerable times are early morning hours when I'm up with the baby. It really hasn't been a struggle without my credit cards to enable me to buy, and it wasn't really a problem spending a few hours with drinking friends, especially knowing I had to drive the baby home after. BUT, a long weekend with quality whiskey available is going to be a little harder. I am grateful that I will (hopefully)(no, definitely, I can do this) have almost two weeks under my belt at that point. That is too much time to just throw away on misery.
Starting day 9. It's been a really great run for me so far. I am apprehensive about 3 nights in a house with a mini bar. My most vulnerable times are early morning hours when I'm up with the baby. It really hasn't been a struggle without my credit cards to enable me to buy, and it wasn't really a problem spending a few hours with drinking friends, especially knowing I had to drive the baby home after. BUT, a long weekend with quality whiskey available is going to be a little harder. I am grateful that I will (hopefully)(no, definitely, I can do this) have almost two weeks under my belt at that point. That is too much time to just throw away on misery.
When I opened up to my husband last week. He asked how I was purchasing the alcohol (since I am a SAHM- no income.) I was using my credit card (he never saw statement)- well he took that (and I willing it gave it up.) It has been helpful when I have the urge and pass a store.
He also gives me a breath alizer test occasionally. Again, I am happy to oblige... the accountability has been helpful. Hubby is annoyed that he ‘has to do it.’ But I’m happy it is support.
Day 12 is in the bag. I've been here many times before only to fall back to day 1. Complacency sits in once the body starts to heal. I'll admit, I was at a parking lot Saturday night really tempted to go in and buy some vodka. Two days of urges, but I'm sooooo glad I stuck with the plan. Mornings are great now instead of a complete nightmare.
I do feel like I'm slipping a little bit, so I'll try to stay on here more consistently.
I do feel like I'm slipping a little bit, so I'll try to stay on here more consistently.
Playing the tape forwards
Thankyou Rjyerkes, Mantaladay and D and all the others who’ve talked about playing the tape forward in previous posts. I really need to remember to do this when the AV is trying to trick me into having a drink.... I’m going to need this on the weekend especially for my 50th birthday party. I hope I’ll be strong enough to ingore the AV this time. I haven’t had an alcohol-free birthday in more than 30 years, I’ve actually had very few days without alcohol in 30 years... seeing that written down really brings it home to me how much of my life I’ve wasted being drunk 😳 but I’ve still managed to hold down a decent job and relationships, convinced it was “normal”
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 83
Of course my wonderful, loving, heroic husband knows me. I actually posted this on FB several years ago:
ME to my husband: You're the most amazing father to our son. All I do is provide comic relief lol.
HIM to me: ......you're not that funny
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 83
Willow68,
I turned 50 last month and I feel like it's a milestone that I wasn't consciously aware of til it happened. Like, wow, I'm ALREADY on my final 3rd of life? 1-25, 25-50 and then 50-75(ish). Where did the time go? How many hours of it have been lost to blackouts? How many more hours am I willing to lose? Seemed like I had so much time left before...now not so much.
I've been praying for daily strength and then giving thanks for it at night...cause I can't do it alone. For me that means giving it to the Lord and being in closer contact with him than usual. Walking with him and holding his hand for awhile. Footprints in the sand sort of thing.
One day and one moment at a time and loving myself and others every step of the way
I turned 50 last month and I feel like it's a milestone that I wasn't consciously aware of til it happened. Like, wow, I'm ALREADY on my final 3rd of life? 1-25, 25-50 and then 50-75(ish). Where did the time go? How many hours of it have been lost to blackouts? How many more hours am I willing to lose? Seemed like I had so much time left before...now not so much.
I've been praying for daily strength and then giving thanks for it at night...cause I can't do it alone. For me that means giving it to the Lord and being in closer contact with him than usual. Walking with him and holding his hand for awhile. Footprints in the sand sort of thing.
One day and one moment at a time and loving myself and others every step of the way
Thanks Rjyerkes, I also have been praying this last week, something I haven’t done in a long time. Asking for help to be strong, because I know I can’t do it alone, I’ve proven that to myself time and time again.
I’m terrified about turning 50. I know it’s just another day but it’s a realisation that I really am way past halfway. Where did the time go? A very large part was in a drunken haze. I really didn’t want a birthday party this year and have been feeling really depressed about it all, but now I’m going to use it to celebrate making the most of the rest of my life (whatever is left) by being sober and fully present. I’m going to plan a bunch of adventures and travel (alcohol free) to really enjoy my life rather than continue to wallow in the wine fumes.
With support we can do it 😊
I’m terrified about turning 50. I know it’s just another day but it’s a realisation that I really am way past halfway. Where did the time go? A very large part was in a drunken haze. I really didn’t want a birthday party this year and have been feeling really depressed about it all, but now I’m going to use it to celebrate making the most of the rest of my life (whatever is left) by being sober and fully present. I’m going to plan a bunch of adventures and travel (alcohol free) to really enjoy my life rather than continue to wallow in the wine fumes.
With support we can do it 😊
Good evening May bodies
Winding down after dinner. Icing my tendinitis leg and drinking a sparkling water. Had the tug of war in the brain today wanting to join my mrs with a drink. But I will remain steadfast and wake without hangover and weak stomach. Almost had to leave work from foot pain but headed off to REI and got some new shoes and compression socks and felt 75 percent better. Good deal. May have some hiking and biking coming soon after all. Need to get active and lose this beer gut.
Hope we all are keeping strong as it sounds like a lot of us have been down this road before. I love this website but am kinda privaand shy and feel like a poor communicator in this medium but have to try to put my thoughts out there and keep engaged
Winding down after dinner. Icing my tendinitis leg and drinking a sparkling water. Had the tug of war in the brain today wanting to join my mrs with a drink. But I will remain steadfast and wake without hangover and weak stomach. Almost had to leave work from foot pain but headed off to REI and got some new shoes and compression socks and felt 75 percent better. Good deal. May have some hiking and biking coming soon after all. Need to get active and lose this beer gut.
Hope we all are keeping strong as it sounds like a lot of us have been down this road before. I love this website but am kinda privaand shy and feel like a poor communicator in this medium but have to try to put my thoughts out there and keep engaged
Me too Sober81, day 9 at work and going great 😊 not sure how much I’ve saved but it must be a fair amount after 8 days, probably about a dozen bottles of wine’s worth.... oh my goodness that’s a case of wine a week 💡 lightbulb moment! 😳
7am here...
Day 14 yayyyy, made it to 2 weeks, I know early days but I'd lost all hope / faith in myself so I'm happy and proud that I've made it this far and still feel so determined to keep on going
I've been busy catching up with work after being off for a couple of months so it's all go but I'm enjoying keeping busy and have even managed to arrange a coffee date with a guy I got talking to tomorrow, not sure if it's too soon in my recovery but I mentioned I don't drink which he wasn't phased by at all...
Also something that I found helpful this week so I'll share with you... My close friend who is in recovery gave me a good analogy...
"Imagine people who are allergic to things such as nuts, a person with a nut allergy will not eat nuts because of what will happen, and the same with other allergies, WE ARE ALL ALLERGIC TO ALCOHOL!!! We would be FOOLS to pick up a drink of alcohol when we are allergic to it, We are mentally allergic to alcohol so must not drink it"
It's that simple! This really helped me.
Another way to look at it, again the words from my friend...
Imagine a person with another disease such as Cancer, if that person was given the option to be able to remove that cancer and have rid of it they would grab that chance with both hands, our disease is alcoholism, we have the chance to not have that poisonous disease in our body! We have that chance! again we're fools if we don't take that chance...
Hope these help even just one of you, I find them very helpful. To see it in this way makes me feel stupid for ever touching the stuff!
Anyway all good this end! Feeling stronger and happier each day.
Much love and strength to each of you.
Have a lovely Day / Evening
K x
Day 14 yayyyy, made it to 2 weeks, I know early days but I'd lost all hope / faith in myself so I'm happy and proud that I've made it this far and still feel so determined to keep on going
I've been busy catching up with work after being off for a couple of months so it's all go but I'm enjoying keeping busy and have even managed to arrange a coffee date with a guy I got talking to tomorrow, not sure if it's too soon in my recovery but I mentioned I don't drink which he wasn't phased by at all...
Also something that I found helpful this week so I'll share with you... My close friend who is in recovery gave me a good analogy...
"Imagine people who are allergic to things such as nuts, a person with a nut allergy will not eat nuts because of what will happen, and the same with other allergies, WE ARE ALL ALLERGIC TO ALCOHOL!!! We would be FOOLS to pick up a drink of alcohol when we are allergic to it, We are mentally allergic to alcohol so must not drink it"
It's that simple! This really helped me.
Another way to look at it, again the words from my friend...
Imagine a person with another disease such as Cancer, if that person was given the option to be able to remove that cancer and have rid of it they would grab that chance with both hands, our disease is alcoholism, we have the chance to not have that poisonous disease in our body! We have that chance! again we're fools if we don't take that chance...
Hope these help even just one of you, I find them very helpful. To see it in this way makes me feel stupid for ever touching the stuff!
Anyway all good this end! Feeling stronger and happier each day.
Much love and strength to each of you.
Have a lovely Day / Evening
K x
Well I got through Day 1 and I'm now 34 hours sober... Went swimming yesterday to pass the time and swam for a mile (64 lengths). Very high anxiety in the evening but no major withdrawals so far.
On with Day 2... Best wishes to all.
Forwards.
On with Day 2... Best wishes to all.
Forwards.
Morning All, day 23 and starting the big job of emptying out all the cupboards in my living room, dismantling them and moving them all up to the spare room I have a wall of ikea cupboards with all sorts of junk in them!) My mum loves doing DIY but there is nothing left to do in her house so whilst I am at rehab she is going to redecorate my living room, she has strict instructions mind as goodness knows what I would come back to otherwise lol.
Have a good day class and be good xx
Have a good day class and be good xx
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