Dee74

last part here:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...t-32-a-21.html (Class of April 2014 Part 32)
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Dee74

whats up Up?

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Upward2Enlightenment

Shotgun!

Just doing a lot of physical work here and my body, especially back, is not happy about that.

Dee74

Gotcha - and empathise

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freein14

Ouch!
Warming up is key UP.......bit late now though hope the aches and pains dissolve soon.
What have you been doing, something fun I hope?

Saturday here, and of course I'm in for the Bargain, as well as the housework, shopping, gardening....but trying to do as much as possible as mindfully as possible....I can manage about 2 mindful minutes at a time, before my mind starts to get jittery- still some room for improvement!

Have a great weekend all.

Upward2Enlightenment

No, removing a broken clothes washer and installing a new one. OMG was it heavy and a tight fit through the doorways.
I also have been doing a lot of yard work and work on the house. Wish I had the money to pay someone else to do it all but, at least I have the skill and ability to do it myself.

In for the bargain too.

Upward2Enlightenment

Just remember

Upward2Enlightenment

I have a strange question for you all, please don't read anything into it.

Do you ever feel that you don't belong ... anywhere? I mean that no matter what you do you don't fit in with your surroundings?

Dee74

I felt that way as a drinker - and before I became a drinker Up.

I've worked hard on myself and my life over the last eleven years tho - I don't feel that way anymore.

Gotten any further with moving out from where you are?

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freein14

That's an interesting question, UP. I have felt that before, kind of a disconnection with life and those around. Feeling separate from life can be very confusing and distressing. I think meditation and mindfulness, for me, have been key factors in learning that we cannot be anything but connected to the rest of life.

We all evolved from the components of the universe, we weren't just plopped down here from some other dimension. Whether you believe God was the instigator of our existence or not. Our bodies are made up of the elements found in the universe. So we are part of life itself.

The disconnection we sometimes feel, I believe to be the ego. The ego always wants separation from others, because it's the only way it can survive and strengthen. In order for the ego to feel that it is special, it needs to differentiate between "me" and the rest of the world.

Beyond the ego, the deeper self, is part of the whole, it is not separate from life at all.

Being aware of our thoughts, feelings and conditioned mind is a great step towards connection. By asking the question, it's sounds like you're delving deeper UP. Stay curious, but don't believe everything your mind tells you, usually it's not true and often unhelpful.

Mindfulness meditation has helped me......It might help you too?

Upward2Enlightenment

Thanks

MariahGayle

Quiet here....have been a busy week. I’ve decided I cannot afford to take off time through the rest of this week & will be going back to work tomorrow.

I left a message for my councilor today to call me & let me know a schedule for the evenings which will be a good time for me to go, break my routine of coming home right after work. Things are tough right now but I’m starting to let go of things that have been weighing on me & trust they will work out as long as I’m doing what’s most important.......not drinking. I’m getting on with “life” & trying to be there more for my Mom still recovering from her vertebrae fracture & an Aunt who just had surgery.....they live minutes from one another & me. I’ve not been seeing family much these past few months....Sons, Grandsons, Nieces, not because I can’t but I e just not been in a place too & miss them very much.

Anyway, getting on with the business of recovery from this “beast” & thankful to be home sober tonight. Hope everyone’s doing well & having a good week.

TS......I’ve got as far as checking the air in the bike tires & plan to start getting out there in the next couple of days.....remember how much I enjoyed it when I was riding a few years ago.

Up....sounds like you’ve been busy & hope your taking care of your back. Getting out & doing the yard work can be rewarding though, although I know my back isn’t all to happy with me sometimes

Free.....starting a mindfulness meditation routine tomorrow.....not excuses, at least twice a day.....before I start my day & whenever I might need it throughout the day. I have got to learn to relax & stop the madness in my head of past & future.

Obo, how are you doing? Thinking about you. You too Izzy & all the other Fools

Dee74

((Mariah ))

Upward2Enlightenment

I want to let you all know that I have to leave SR. It is not that I'm being forced out ... I just feel that I am doing more harm than good being here. There are also certain things that are just too painful to continue to be reminded of.
I wish you all the best.
I promise to keep the bargain and seek other help if any urges get overwhelming.

I know that we've had the "against the rules" discussion about saying goodbye Dee but, I hope you will leave this up so the fools won't be at a total loss as to what happened to me.

StellaBlu

Yes. Absolutely. Every day in the corporate world.

That's why I spend so much time on the SR forums.
And the other exception is with my husband who I do feel I belong with.

MariahGayle

Thinking of you Up & hope to see you here again soon.

Getting ready to head back to work......breath

freein14

Mariah, it looks like you have a lot going on at the moment. It's good to hear that you're looking after yourself as much as possible. Having a mindfulness practice will be a great help at times such as these.

I'll be going on a meditation retreat at the end of next week. I can't wait. It was a last minute booking, but I managed to get a cancellation. I'm committed to my mindfulness practice now, trying go lengthen my sitting time without my legs going to sleep, just in case we're not allowed to move during the sessions on the retreat.

I hope your situation improves quickly Mariah.

freein14

UP, I'm sorry things are so difficult for you at the moment. Remember that there is no judgement here, just support....whenever you want to drop in.

Hope you're ok,

topspin

Same here Up ,

Well , ..that's good not to let your tires go flat Mariah . It's been tough for me to get back out there myself !?
My old beater ,...the off road bike starts making a little racket in the crank after about 20 minutes ,...which gets in my head since I'm already going extra slow by then .

I decided to use the road bike yesterday ( appr. 5 miles ) ,....and re-taped the handlebars today. The old tape's been flaking off for a year . I've had new tape for years in the package . So naturally a thin outer layer starting peeling off as I was wrapping it >

No worries though ,..... what's left seems far, far better than the old stuff anyway ! Was out for an easy 9 miles earlier,.....and plan to ease on up gradually in distance .

Well,...who would've guessed you'd be travelling off to a last minute meditation retreat 4 years ago Freein ?!?


......life has really , really changed for you !

Dee74

Nothing wrong with saying goodbye UP - the rule is for those who tip a bucket on the place the way out.

I'm sorry you feel you have to leave - I'd argue with you but I know you well enough to know you feel this is the right thing to do.

I hope you can find the happiness and peace you deserve out there

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