Class of October 2017 Support Thread pt. 6
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Anywhere USA
Posts: 2,098
9 months ! Every day is a new record for me but I am always on guard against the AV, that is what snagged me before. This may sound corny but I think you have to believe in yourself when it comes to pressure from friends and family. It is perfectly fine and okay to have a soda or a fancy water at events, we are the ones who put the pressure on our selves to drink, normies may tease us at the start, but we are the ones who puts the bottle to our lips, our decision. You will be surprised when you realize that 98 % of the world doesn't care if that is a beer in your hand or iced tea, just stay focused on yourself, I think that is one of the keys to this whole sober journey.
I glued myself here, to SR, read a lot, posted a lot, whether anyone read,listened or cared. played the tape backwards a lot, mentally relived my worst anxiety attacks or stupid drunk stuff than I would ask myself if I wanted to remain stuck in that life or do some actual living. that is what has really made the difference for me.
I hope my babbling was helpful to you and didn't bore you to much,,,,
love ya!
badge
I glued myself here, to SR, read a lot, posted a lot, whether anyone read,listened or cared. played the tape backwards a lot, mentally relived my worst anxiety attacks or stupid drunk stuff than I would ask myself if I wanted to remain stuck in that life or do some actual living. that is what has really made the difference for me.
I hope my babbling was helpful to you and didn't bore you to much,,,,
love ya!
badge
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 108
Av
Hi DoubleD
I am so sorry that you slipped.
I’m also so pleased that you have come right back here for support.
Like so many of our class, I’m not on here much these days but I logged on earlier and saw your post from Monday.
You asked about the Addictive Voice.
Biminiblue, a member on here mentioned AVRT (addictive voice recognition technique)to me in my first week and I believe it has saved my life.
I’m approaching 9 months sober now and I genuinely feel I will never drink again.
I’ve lifted most of the following text from a couple of posts I wrote back in my earliest days of sobriety.
I hope something in the rather long post below resonates with you like it did with me. I apologise that it’s all stuff I’ve written before. It’s all from the coalface of my struggle so it’s all very real.... Back in October 2017 I was a few days sober after a decade or more of almost daily drinking. I was reading a lot about being sober but the whole AA thing wasn’t resonating with me. Then a member here posted about AVRT and that was my key to unlocking the escape hatch. The pivotal moment was stating that I would never drink again and I would never change my mind. The decision to declare my self a sober former drinker who was never going back was empowering and that’s what made the difference.
You see, the dream of almost every alcoholic/problem drinker is to be a "normal" drinker again. So many of us listen to the AV and we start to make little bargains with it where we can drink 2 beers every 2nd day...or one glass with a special meal....or only on Birthdays, feast days, holidays and other special occasions. Then eventually we are making other bargains like...."Ok, so I wont drink today"...and then its ..."ok, I won't drink tomorrow"...and down and down we go.. Normal drinkers don't even think about drinking or not drinking and they don’t make constant bargains with themselves around their drinking. They dont count and they don't ration. They don't negotiate using drink as some form of alternative currency. The reason we are all here is because we are wired a little differently. We are not normal drinkers. We are not capable of being social drinkers. We have already run that experiment and proven to ourselves and our families that the outcome is a total disaster. For us the equation reads Me+Alcohol=Disater. I tried and failed many times to quit smoking but then 8 years ago I succeeded. Like so many people on this site I learned something each time I failed but I kept coming back and I used each new time what I learned from the past. Eventually I assembled the correct set of tools, applied them in fortuitous circumstances and I was successful. I am now a happy non-smoker. I know I will never smoke again because I dont ever want to smoke again. I know that if I ever put a lit cigarette in my mouth again I would very quickly lose my footing and be sliding down that slippery treacherous hole.
After many failed attempts at alcohol moderation, this is my first period of Sobriety in over 30 years (this is day 264). I chased that elusive and fake dream of being a normal drinker for 2 of the last 3 decades. I always failed and my drinking always got worse. I have put all my experiences from quitting smoking to work here in my resolution to be alcohol-free....for ever! No bargains, no deals, no allowances, no fake nirvanas, no alcohol, not now, not ever. It has to be black and white. No shades of grey, no blurring of the lines, no ambiguity, no negotiation, no ground conceded. I have created for myself "New Thinking". When the AV comes knocking on the door with any argument that supports the notion of ever drinking either now or at any time in the future, my job is to recognise it, acknowledge that voice as being my AV and knowing it is my mortal enemy, dismiss it. And every time I do that, my mortal enemy gets weaker. And I get stronger And that makes it possible, that makes it do-able, that makes me Sober, Happy & Whole. My AV radar is highly tuned and its working 24/7. I'm learning every day but I know this; The idea that I can ever have a normal relationship with alcohol is out of the question. Right now, I know I will never drink again. We have all already ran that tape to the end and we've seen where it goes. We are wired differently. When we stop we need to stay stopped. There is no half-way house, there is no "Normal drinking", there is no compromise. Nirvana does exist for us, but there's no alcohol there. It is where we are Happy & Sober & Whole.
Victor
I am so sorry that you slipped.
I’m also so pleased that you have come right back here for support.
Like so many of our class, I’m not on here much these days but I logged on earlier and saw your post from Monday.
You asked about the Addictive Voice.
Biminiblue, a member on here mentioned AVRT (addictive voice recognition technique)to me in my first week and I believe it has saved my life.
I’m approaching 9 months sober now and I genuinely feel I will never drink again.
I’ve lifted most of the following text from a couple of posts I wrote back in my earliest days of sobriety.
I hope something in the rather long post below resonates with you like it did with me. I apologise that it’s all stuff I’ve written before. It’s all from the coalface of my struggle so it’s all very real.... Back in October 2017 I was a few days sober after a decade or more of almost daily drinking. I was reading a lot about being sober but the whole AA thing wasn’t resonating with me. Then a member here posted about AVRT and that was my key to unlocking the escape hatch. The pivotal moment was stating that I would never drink again and I would never change my mind. The decision to declare my self a sober former drinker who was never going back was empowering and that’s what made the difference.
You see, the dream of almost every alcoholic/problem drinker is to be a "normal" drinker again. So many of us listen to the AV and we start to make little bargains with it where we can drink 2 beers every 2nd day...or one glass with a special meal....or only on Birthdays, feast days, holidays and other special occasions. Then eventually we are making other bargains like...."Ok, so I wont drink today"...and then its ..."ok, I won't drink tomorrow"...and down and down we go.. Normal drinkers don't even think about drinking or not drinking and they don’t make constant bargains with themselves around their drinking. They dont count and they don't ration. They don't negotiate using drink as some form of alternative currency. The reason we are all here is because we are wired a little differently. We are not normal drinkers. We are not capable of being social drinkers. We have already run that experiment and proven to ourselves and our families that the outcome is a total disaster. For us the equation reads Me+Alcohol=Disater. I tried and failed many times to quit smoking but then 8 years ago I succeeded. Like so many people on this site I learned something each time I failed but I kept coming back and I used each new time what I learned from the past. Eventually I assembled the correct set of tools, applied them in fortuitous circumstances and I was successful. I am now a happy non-smoker. I know I will never smoke again because I dont ever want to smoke again. I know that if I ever put a lit cigarette in my mouth again I would very quickly lose my footing and be sliding down that slippery treacherous hole.
After many failed attempts at alcohol moderation, this is my first period of Sobriety in over 30 years (this is day 264). I chased that elusive and fake dream of being a normal drinker for 2 of the last 3 decades. I always failed and my drinking always got worse. I have put all my experiences from quitting smoking to work here in my resolution to be alcohol-free....for ever! No bargains, no deals, no allowances, no fake nirvanas, no alcohol, not now, not ever. It has to be black and white. No shades of grey, no blurring of the lines, no ambiguity, no negotiation, no ground conceded. I have created for myself "New Thinking". When the AV comes knocking on the door with any argument that supports the notion of ever drinking either now or at any time in the future, my job is to recognise it, acknowledge that voice as being my AV and knowing it is my mortal enemy, dismiss it. And every time I do that, my mortal enemy gets weaker. And I get stronger And that makes it possible, that makes it do-able, that makes me Sober, Happy & Whole. My AV radar is highly tuned and its working 24/7. I'm learning every day but I know this; The idea that I can ever have a normal relationship with alcohol is out of the question. Right now, I know I will never drink again. We have all already ran that tape to the end and we've seen where it goes. We are wired differently. When we stop we need to stay stopped. There is no half-way house, there is no "Normal drinking", there is no compromise. Nirvana does exist for us, but there's no alcohol there. It is where we are Happy & Sober & Whole.
Victor
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 108
Originally Posted by badgerden 
9 months ! Every day is a new record for me but I am always on guard against the AV, that is what snagged me before. This may sound corny but I think you have to believe in yourself when it comes to pressure from friends and family. It is perfectly fine and okay to have a soda or a fancy water at events, we are the ones who put the pressure on our selves to drink, normies may tease us at the start, but we are the ones who puts the bottle to our lips, our decision. You will be surprised when you realize that 98 % of the world doesn't care if that is a beer in your hand or iced tea, just stay focused on yourself, I think that is one of the keys to this whole sober journey.
I glued myself here, to SR, read a lot, posted a lot, whether anyone read,listened or cared. played the tape backwards a lot, mentally relived my worst anxiety attacks or stupid drunk stuff than I would ask myself if I wanted to remain stuck in that life or do some actual living. that is what has really made the difference for me.
I hope my babbling was helpful to you and didn't bore you to much,,,,
love ya!
badge
I glued myself here, to SR, read a lot, posted a lot, whether anyone read,listened or cared. played the tape backwards a lot, mentally relived my worst anxiety attacks or stupid drunk stuff than I would ask myself if I wanted to remain stuck in that life or do some actual living. that is what has really made the difference for me.
I hope my babbling was helpful to you and didn't bore you to much,,,,
love ya!
badge
Your old classmate Victor is very proud of you.
Great to see you still on here, still posting and still sober.
My love and good wishes go to you.
V
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 149
Thanks so much for the reply Badge... Yes the pressure came from friends and family and I gave in. They didn't really care whether I drank or not, but in my head I thought they did. I'll be aware of this the next time.
Victor, thanks for taking the time to reply and for sharing what you wrote last time. It makes a lot of sense and is exactly the sort of things my mind was saying to itself. I know for sure if I drink again it will just lead me back to where I was before. There's simply no inbetween or moderation for me. I like how you said 'When the AV comes knocking on the door with any argument that supports the notion of ever drinking either now or at any time in the future, my job is to recognise it, acknowledge that voice as being my AV and knowing it is my mortal enemy, dismiss it'. Thanks again for the advice.
I hope everybody who hasn't posted in awhile is either still sober or hasn't fallen too far down the rabbit hole again.
Victor, thanks for taking the time to reply and for sharing what you wrote last time. It makes a lot of sense and is exactly the sort of things my mind was saying to itself. I know for sure if I drink again it will just lead me back to where I was before. There's simply no inbetween or moderation for me. I like how you said 'When the AV comes knocking on the door with any argument that supports the notion of ever drinking either now or at any time in the future, my job is to recognise it, acknowledge that voice as being my AV and knowing it is my mortal enemy, dismiss it'. Thanks again for the advice.
I hope everybody who hasn't posted in awhile is either still sober or hasn't fallen too far down the rabbit hole again.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 504
It's a Sunday morning and things were back to the way they were before I was here last time. Today is my first day sober again. It got ugly and daily. Lost my job because the corporate office shut down the Austin office. Back to the panic of unemployment. Let's see how strong I can be during this time of uncertainty. Shut down my FB page last week. The animal cruelty thing was getting out of control - the way I was behaving about it and talking about it. I'm still living alone and it has taken a toll on me. I've been isolated for a long time now. It's really very mind crazy at times. I know I need to get out, I don't feel any inspiration or motivation. I hope others are doing much better.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 149
Hey lulubread, glad to see you came back. I fell back to my old ways after a long time off it. I’m back on day 26 and feeling confident about it again. I don’t think many people are posting in this group anymore, therefore I’ve joined the August group.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...rt-two-26.html
Would be good for you to join us over there too.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...rt-two-26.html
Would be good for you to join us over there too.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
That part probably is closed - I opened a new part a couple of days ago.
If you find a closed monthly thread, there's always a link for the next part on the last post
the current open thread is here:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...art-4-a-4.html (Class of August 2018 Part 4)
D
If you find a closed monthly thread, there's always a link for the next part on the last post
the current open thread is here:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...art-4-a-4.html (Class of August 2018 Part 4)
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 504
Originally Posted by Doubledee
Hey lulubread, glad to see you came back. I fell back to my old ways after a long time off it. I’m back on day 26 and feeling confident about it again. I don’t think many people are posting in this group anymore, therefore I’ve joined the August group.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...rt-two-26.html
Would be good for you to join us over there too.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...rt-two-26.html
Would be good for you to join us over there too.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Hi Lulu
posted links unfortunately don't update on this software.
when Doubledee posted the link, that August thread link was open and current.
in the 10 days or so since, that part reached 500 posts so I closed it and started a new one
The new, open, August link is the one I gave above in post #54
Glad you found September
D
posted links unfortunately don't update on this software.
when Doubledee posted the link, that August thread link was open and current.
in the 10 days or so since, that part reached 500 posts so I closed it and started a new one
The new, open, August link is the one I gave above in post #54
Glad you found September
D
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
