Class Of December 2013 - Part 11
 

last part

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...t-10-a-20.html

D

Good to hear from you Zero, and Dee. How are things? All more or less well here; I check in on the December 13 site now and again, just don't have a lot to say. I do miss some of the more dynamic, sometimes painful, sometimes hilarious exchanges between people perched on an edge, or moving closer or further away from it. A lot of people have passed through this portal. Things here are good, overall. Mortality has touched close to home recently, but the thrust of grandchildren, in my case, has balanced things. Spring is delayed, which is confounding, a wee bit frustrating, but no big deal. We will blast into normal spring this week like we've been shot out of a cannon, moving from winter coats to shorts and tee shirts and sunburn and planting spinach. That sort of thing.

I'm fine thanks Jack :)

Hows the drink battle going?

D

Good to hear from y'all. We never really got a winter here, but it's supposed to snow tomorrow. Lol. I'm heading north for some live music and then work-related obligations. Also, to visit a friend who is in rehab for a brain injury. Thankfully, when I visited three weeks ago he was talking though on his third week in ICU. Touch and go for a while there. An SUV blew through a stop sign and creamed him on his Harley. He's an animal, though. Seems he'll be alright. Enjoy nature. Enjoy family. Never know what may come...

Best wishes for your friend Zero.

I very much agree that we can need know ehn our lives can drastically change.

A man I know was in a wheelchair fell over backwards in that and ended up damaging his spine further.

He's gone from a pretty independent life to a totally dependent one.

Its one of the reasons I'm so glad I quit drink and drugs and have had am amazing decade of living life to the full and a host of experiences I might not otherwise have had.

D

Dee: I'm still at it. It seems to be my spot on the wheel at the moment. I do value hearing from those who identify to some degree with where I am, and offer reports of what things could be like outside of the box. It's not that bad; just a bit too much fog obscuring things at times. And utterly unsustainable, of course.

Agree with the idea of enjoying it all while it lasts. Things change in a wisp. We had to euthanize our horse last Monday. He'd had a bad leg for years, but loved life and everybody loved him. He couldn't stand one morning, struggled so much, and so violently to get up. Such spirit. Not easy to witness, but the call was right. And the week before, a friend died in her sleep. No apparent cause. A surging life just...kind of ended. So much for all she invested in the various arms of that surge. More than a few people I know are dealing with recurring, and rather hopeless cancer. So: I enjoyed my day outside in the sun, building things for a client. Five year old granddaughter, who wailed at the news of the demise of our horse last week, called yesterday with the proposal for a name for a new horse who is available for adoption: Rosa!, she cried enthusiastically.
(She's been reading about Rosa Parks). I try to tie my psyche to the granddaughter energy as I move through the other stuff. We seem to go through protracted periods of stasis, then everything shakes around. So: I try to be present for it all, but really give extra focus to the Rosa moments.

:c014:

My buddy is doing a lot better. He's walking with a walker, and there's not a lot of immediate evidence of brain trauma, though he's been told he has short term memory deficits. I have another friend up there that is much worse. She was back in ICU after another surgery, so I couldn't visit. That one was just a simple fall on the stairs and cracked her skull. A neighbor a few years ago did the same; they found him days later. Here today gone tomorrow. Life is strange that way.

I'm increasingly in just-amazed-I'm-still-alive mode, what with all the stupid **** I've done. Very grateful my surgeries have stuck (knock on wood) and I'm not in wicked pain all the time. Makes a huge difference.

Sweet story about Rosa and your granddaughter, Jack. Rosa would be a great name for horse. Take care of yourselves... Gotta get to work.

I'm pretty amazed I'm still here too - they say God looks after fools and drunks - I must double qualify :lmao

D

At what age did you change, Dee? And what was the burning bush moment? Of course, you can be as general and non-specific as needed.

Yeah, Zero, you went through a lot in just the time that you've been reporting here. You'd make a good journalist, I think. The health challenges, the sister you lost, and the circumstances around that. Catheters, I recall. You spared few details, though maybe you spared many many details.

I spared some details. But you have a good memory, Jack. Three years ago this month I was recovering from surgery and cathing every six hours, waiting for another surgery. I was a wreck physically, emotionally, spiritually... Damn good thing I was sober for all that. Might have wound up dead. But things are better. Pretty grounded these days. I just spent the weekend with a rototiller and then rolling out sod. Carefully.

You may recall, but my burning bush moment was waking up thinking I was dying, probably should have gone to the ER, but instead downed some aspirin and a pint of water and passed out again. Two day hangover. I was done. Consumed a lifetime's worth of booze by my early 50's. I might drink if I could moderate, but it's not worth testing it. Never worked before.

Anyway, I hope you're well. Enjoy spring.

I always enjoy spring. We have a robin building her nest in the window above our front door. It's one of those 19th century front doors with the side light window panes and some on top, as well. Greek Revival, maybe?
She's nesting, for the second year, on a ledge in front of a small pane above the door. Cranes her neck when I walk past inside, waits, interprets, danger, sometimes flies away, other times sits tight. Peepers in our pond behind the house; but as I say to those stoked by the peeper noise: I have tinnitus. I hear peepers 24/7. They seem to not believe me.

Mine is kind of subtle. I notice it when I meditate. Like a high pitched refrigerator or some electrical box. Sometimes it intrudes into regular life, but not too much. Too much rock and roll. It sounds like you more or less take it in stride. Part of the ambiance, I guess.

I actually don't notice it. Unless I'm reminded that it's there. Someone mentions spring peepers, and I remember: yes, there they are, my peeper chorus. I guess it's like living with a limp. You forget you're limping until someone reminds you that you're limping.

Sorry I missed your post Jack .

I quit a few months before I turned 40 - eleven years and a bit now.

the short explanation is I nearly died - I was drinking all day everyday and had for several years. I didn't want to die that way.

Long explanation here:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-one.html

and here:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-2-a.html

I'm incredibly glad I've had 11 productive years since and hopefully more to come :)

D

Thanks, Dee. Well documented; and well-said.

Hi Zero. Miss your thoughts. Hope all's well in your new world. Anything new to report? You of no loss for words?

good to hear from you jack :)

D

Trust that all's well with you, Dee? Our summer has been hot and dry. We soak it up, but standing in the pool yesterday in the back yard, I had a chilling vision of how the yard will appear in 6 months: hot, verdant, leafy forest becoming windswept, snow-drifted monochromatic winter scene. Which I will love, of course. Great night skies in winter!