24Hour Recovery Connections Part 367
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Originally Posted by tomls 
Good morning SR community! I am loving life for the 1st time in my life. Thank you all for being here today and every day! I would not still be on this journey without you people and SR! Congratulations to anyone hitting a milestone today!
Oh and 24 more clean and sober hours please. Thank you!
Oh and 24 more clean and sober hours please. Thank you!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Originally Posted by kenton
Just want to get something out of my head and into words....forgive me for burbling on. It's causing me a lot of pain and I think I need to face it. A deep rift has been forming in my relationship with my siblings ever since my dad died. Battle lines seem to have been drawn with me and my brother on one side and my 2 sisters on the other. I've always suspected that my older sister harbours deep hatred towards me but when I was drinking.... my drunken behaviour always camouflaged her hatred. She'd do or say something hateful, I'd get drunk and react like a crazy person and spend weeks/months apologising for my drunken behaviour. Everyone had their role in the family and I played my part of the drunken black sheep with perfection.
But now I'm not drunk anymore. So when my sister says or does something hateful, I don't react like a crazy person. I just wonder why she hates me so much. And my lack of crazy reaction seems to throw petrol on the flames of her anger. It becomes uncontrollable and other people have now witnessed it. My brother and his wife witnessed her last attack which ended up with her hitting me across my face and now they want nothing more to do with her.
My husband is pleased that at last someone else in my family has seen how my sister treats me...and I guess I should be pleased too. It does feel nice to have my brother on my side. But the truth is, I don't feel pleased. I don't want my family to be some watered-down version of Game of Thones with sides and battle lines and character assassinations.... I just want us all to get along. We don't have to be best friends, we just need to be respectful of each other.
And I'm not painting myself as the angelic victim here. I've no doubt that during all those years I spent being the drunken black sheep, I caused a load of upset and pain. I also know that my dad's alcoholism when we were growing up has probably contributed to this rift. I just don't know what to do. My elder sister has now turned my younger sister against me which hurts a lot because we've always been close. I tried reaching out to my sisters yesterday and the hatred that came out of my older sister's mouth astonished even me. I'm so glad such hatred doesn't send me scuttling towards a wine bottle anymore. I guess I'm just beginning to realise that I used to use this hatred as a reason to drink. Now I don't do that anymore, I need to work out how to deal with this hatred when it's directed at me. I don't think it's something I can control so I think I need to protect myself and cut my sister out of my life. I just wish it didn't make me feel so sad.
Sorry for all that..... does feel better to write it down though. Congratulations to everyone celebrating a milestone today. 24 more for me please xxxx
But now I'm not drunk anymore. So when my sister says or does something hateful, I don't react like a crazy person. I just wonder why she hates me so much. And my lack of crazy reaction seems to throw petrol on the flames of her anger. It becomes uncontrollable and other people have now witnessed it. My brother and his wife witnessed her last attack which ended up with her hitting me across my face and now they want nothing more to do with her.
My husband is pleased that at last someone else in my family has seen how my sister treats me...and I guess I should be pleased too. It does feel nice to have my brother on my side. But the truth is, I don't feel pleased. I don't want my family to be some watered-down version of Game of Thones with sides and battle lines and character assassinations.... I just want us all to get along. We don't have to be best friends, we just need to be respectful of each other.
And I'm not painting myself as the angelic victim here. I've no doubt that during all those years I spent being the drunken black sheep, I caused a load of upset and pain. I also know that my dad's alcoholism when we were growing up has probably contributed to this rift. I just don't know what to do. My elder sister has now turned my younger sister against me which hurts a lot because we've always been close. I tried reaching out to my sisters yesterday and the hatred that came out of my older sister's mouth astonished even me. I'm so glad such hatred doesn't send me scuttling towards a wine bottle anymore. I guess I'm just beginning to realise that I used to use this hatred as a reason to drink. Now I don't do that anymore, I need to work out how to deal with this hatred when it's directed at me. I don't think it's something I can control so I think I need to protect myself and cut my sister out of my life. I just wish it didn't make me feel so sad.
Sorry for all that..... does feel better to write it down though. Congratulations to everyone celebrating a milestone today. 24 more for me please xxxx
It seems that you have opened the door to reconciliation only to have it slammed on your face.
It does seem wise, given your attempts at reconciliation and your sisters' refusals to reconcile, to assume a no-contact practice. Maybe, in your mind, keep the door open to true, honest and peaceful reconciliation but, in the meantime, move forward in cultivating the goodness in your life.
It will difficult, I am certain, but I believe that your life will likely be happier and more peaceful, and your psyche healthier, without your sisters in your life.
Keep moving forward, sweetheart; you are doing so brilliantly well.
(((((((Kenton))))
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Originally Posted by Neoo
Haircut feel like a new man today 
I think now that when things get rough instead of picking up I take a day or two away from it all and come out feeling better again..I will spend a day in bed recovering rather than a number of days abusing my body and mind any day
I think now that when things get rough instead of picking up I take a day or two away from it all and come out feeling better again..I will spend a day in bed recovering rather than a number of days abusing my body and mind any day 
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Originally Posted by Rar
Good Morning Everyone. Another 24 sober hours for me please. I will not drink.
Congratulations to the milestoners today for sober time. Well done.
Wishing all a wonderfully sober Wednesday. Praying for all those sick and/or struggling.
6:09 a.m.
EST
Congratulations to the milestoners today for sober time. Well done.
Wishing all a wonderfully sober Wednesday. Praying for all those sick and/or struggling.
6:09 a.m.
EST
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
