Class of August 2017 Part 6
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: Scotland
Posts: 626
Lost a big post again, swiped sideways instead of down. (((((Snuf)))))) hang in there! You are much stronger than you give yourself credit for. Pulling yourself back from a seven dayer is tough, well done on seeing the doc, give the meds a chance without the sauce. I know my antidepressants weren’t nearly effective when I was drinking.
Tyger, lovely painting!
I have to run, have a fab day everyone xx
Tyger, lovely painting!
I have to run, have a fab day everyone xx
Mr
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: FRANCE
Posts: 5,230
So how is your weekend going augusters ?
I'm about a month sober again and feeling good.
Got some gardening done today. Planted some shrubs.
We have a vegetable patch out the back.
Every year we do tomatoes, courgettes, aubergines, peppers, pumpkins and some potatoes too but it is a bit hot and dry here for potatoes in the summer.
Have to say I enjoy different varieties of tomatoes every year.
Well that was my day.
Take care.
V.
I'm about a month sober again and feeling good.
Got some gardening done today. Planted some shrubs.
We have a vegetable patch out the back.
Every year we do tomatoes, courgettes, aubergines, peppers, pumpkins and some potatoes too but it is a bit hot and dry here for potatoes in the summer.
Have to say I enjoy different varieties of tomatoes every year.
Well that was my day.
Take care.
V.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Denmark
Posts: 257
I had a odd, quite bad day. I don't know why, but from the moment i woke up I just felt really bad - depressed, annoyed, irritable, restless, unable to concentrate... I just couldn't find peace of mind, just wished I could stay in bad all day and nobody to bother me - My girlfriend also noted even last night when I was falling alseep I seemed very restless in bed, looking like i had panic attacks in my dreams she said.
Anyway I eventually got up and tried to soldier through the day just feeling so very bad and nothing seemed to work easing off the pain and restlessness in my mind, and I could just not figure out what was really wrong - nothing bad happened, but I felt pretty much as bad as in the first few days after drinking just without the physical symptoms of hangover/withdrawal.
About dinner time I just felt I couldn't go on any more.. I'd spent the afternoon watching a movie with my GF hoping it would distract me from my bad mood, but I just felt worse, and as the movie finished I just had this urge to get away from people, so I went outside to smoke in the yard, and just fell to my knees praying, in the mud - just praying for guidance and something useful to do...
I got inside and found my phone in my pocket and noticed it was out of battery, so I charged it, and saw some new messages... from some AA guy who'd heard me speak at a meeting last week asking if I'd come over to speak at his home group.
And suddenly i just felt the bad mood and uneasiness fade away.. A small thing, but getting that message was exactly what I needed that moment, because I really felt out of my mind
Anyway I eventually got up and tried to soldier through the day just feeling so very bad and nothing seemed to work easing off the pain and restlessness in my mind, and I could just not figure out what was really wrong - nothing bad happened, but I felt pretty much as bad as in the first few days after drinking just without the physical symptoms of hangover/withdrawal.
About dinner time I just felt I couldn't go on any more.. I'd spent the afternoon watching a movie with my GF hoping it would distract me from my bad mood, but I just felt worse, and as the movie finished I just had this urge to get away from people, so I went outside to smoke in the yard, and just fell to my knees praying, in the mud - just praying for guidance and something useful to do...
I got inside and found my phone in my pocket and noticed it was out of battery, so I charged it, and saw some new messages... from some AA guy who'd heard me speak at a meeting last week asking if I'd come over to speak at his home group.
And suddenly i just felt the bad mood and uneasiness fade away.. A small thing, but getting that message was exactly what I needed that moment, because I really felt out of my mind
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: England
Posts: 645
Just been to see Lara Croft. Good film.
In the row behind me there were about 10 boys, all around about 10 years old and they were talking a lot throughout the film. Their parents were doing nothing about this. About half way through I turned around and said VERY CALMLY (breaking British protocol you understand) "Would you lot be quiet please?" Well they were for a while and then were whispering and then towards the end they were talking again. This whole thing annoyed me but not as much as it would have in the past.
I'm not a religious person but since finding recovery and being made aware of the Serenity prayer I try to go about my daily life with reference to that prayer. If someone says something nasty to me, or annoys me (accept the things I cannot change i.e. the other person) I make it a conscious decision not to dwell on it or get upset. This is because I am in control of my emotions and therefore I can choose not to feel bad (courage to change the things I can). You can bet the person who was rude to me or whatever does not feel bad. It's hard to do but it is getting easier.
In the row behind me there were about 10 boys, all around about 10 years old and they were talking a lot throughout the film. Their parents were doing nothing about this. About half way through I turned around and said VERY CALMLY (breaking British protocol you understand) "Would you lot be quiet please?" Well they were for a while and then were whispering and then towards the end they were talking again. This whole thing annoyed me but not as much as it would have in the past.
I'm not a religious person but since finding recovery and being made aware of the Serenity prayer I try to go about my daily life with reference to that prayer. If someone says something nasty to me, or annoys me (accept the things I cannot change i.e. the other person) I make it a conscious decision not to dwell on it or get upset. This is because I am in control of my emotions and therefore I can choose not to feel bad (courage to change the things I can). You can bet the person who was rude to me or whatever does not feel bad. It's hard to do but it is getting easier.
Mr
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: FRANCE
Posts: 5,230
I agree it's hard to do Dec.
It's easy to say and impose it on yourself but it becoming a reflex is not easy.
Well anyways I went on a 10km trot in nature (trail) this morning and managed to finish eventhough I was limping. Something pulled or strained in my right calf. Hurts a bit but I will live
Have a great week folks.
V.
It's easy to say and impose it on yourself but it becoming a reflex is not easy.
Well anyways I went on a 10km trot in nature (trail) this morning and managed to finish eventhough I was limping. Something pulled or strained in my right calf. Hurts a bit but I will live
Have a great week folks.
V.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: Scotland
Posts: 626
Hi guys, checking in and it looks like everyone is keeping busy. I have been out and about a lot, not missing work AT ALL so far. I am feeling very jealous right now of your couch to 5k Dec, and your running Vinny. I need to get fitter for spring but I seem to have done some damage to my knee. I whacked it quite hard getting into the car about 10 Days ago and it hurt but I thought it would just get better. Might need to get it checked out.
I don’t know about anyone else but I feel very hard done by these days if I have have any illness or injury. All those years of heavy drinking, you expect these things, but not when you are flipping well sober!
Anyway hello to everyone and hope you’re all enjoying the spring. We’ll see how long it lasts lol. Very very nice to see you back tea or coffee. Have a good evening folks
I don’t know about anyone else but I feel very hard done by these days if I have have any illness or injury. All those years of heavy drinking, you expect these things, but not when you are flipping well sober!
Anyway hello to everyone and hope you’re all enjoying the spring. We’ll see how long it lasts lol. Very very nice to see you back tea or coffee. Have a good evening folks
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,373
Hello Augusters. I hope everyone’s doing fine. I just want to quickly check in before I go to bed... I’ve been feeling terrible since that last binge; Constant headaches, upset stomach, sleepless nights, my anxiety is back in full force... I’m also having frequent body tremors which worries me a bit, but it’s only been a few days since I stopped poisoning myself so I hope I’m gonna feel a bit better in like two weeks or so...
It looks like it’s gonna be a very stressful day for me tomorrow. I start a new apprenticeship in a tattoo studio. I’m quite excited for it, but super nervous at the same time. I think I’m a good artist but I’m so incredibly awkward with people, I’m worried I’m not gonna fit in that environment... Ah well, we will see. I’d be soooo happy if I turned out to be a good place to work at... What else, after that I have an appointment at uni with my head lecturer who sent me a passive aggressive email today about my absences and lack of progress. I’m not sure if to be honest with her about my depression and anxiety or to just mumble something apologetic and get on with my work. I don’t know... I’m scared because I’m so behind.
Teaorcoffee, great to see you!!
It looks like it’s gonna be a very stressful day for me tomorrow. I start a new apprenticeship in a tattoo studio. I’m quite excited for it, but super nervous at the same time. I think I’m a good artist but I’m so incredibly awkward with people, I’m worried I’m not gonna fit in that environment... Ah well, we will see. I’d be soooo happy if I turned out to be a good place to work at... What else, after that I have an appointment at uni with my head lecturer who sent me a passive aggressive email today about my absences and lack of progress. I’m not sure if to be honest with her about my depression and anxiety or to just mumble something apologetic and get on with my work. I don’t know... I’m scared because I’m so behind.
Teaorcoffee, great to see you!!
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,431
Hi Snuf
wishing you the best at the tattoo studio.
As for Uni, up to you but I came clean with my lecturers when I was having personal problems and they gave me enough leeway to finish my coursework.
This was 25 years ago mind but I can't imagine things have changed that much. Depression is a real, valid and debilitating condition.
wishing you the best at the tattoo studio.
As for Uni, up to you but I came clean with my lecturers when I was having personal problems and they gave me enough leeway to finish my coursework.
This was 25 years ago mind but I can't imagine things have changed that much. Depression is a real, valid and debilitating condition.
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