Class of December 2017 Support Thread Pt 5
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,320
Hi. Here again. Magpie inspired this anonymous message. Yes, I had whiskey tonight. Ready for bed. As my son says, if there's no video, it didn't happen. Maybe this is not the place I belong. I never had all the bad things I read about here everyday. I am an alcoholic, but I have had and have a great life. I made it 97 days and feel like if this one night happens every 97 days, I win. Most of my problems stemmed from heart disease. Never a DUI,no family drunk problems, wife loves me and didn't insist on stopping. Yet, I realize that I am an alcoholic. This place is the best, but I feel addiction feelings towards it, just like facebook. I appreciate all the love here. Sometimes, all that I had. Thank you! I may be back
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,312
Hi Bob
my advice is to think about this tomorrow, away from the post rosy glow of drinking and having 'nothing bad' happening.
Just as we say this is not the best it gets in early recovery...what you experienced tonight is not the worst it gets.
I drank like a gentleman several times...I treasured those few times as proof that I could control my drinking.
I disregarded the other 1000 times I did not drink like a gentleman.
The great lie the AV likes to sell us is that we can have control.
Maybe every 97 days might not be that bad - if we could stick to that...but few of us can.
I once went 60 days and thought the same - every two months is 6 times a year. No worries.
Within two weeks I was back drinking as hard as ever.
Another time, I decided to have a night off recovery.
I drank every day for the next 2 and a half years.
Re-read your old posts Bob - I sensed a deep unhappiness within you that was just starting to lift. I see you're trying very hard to convince yourself you're not one of us, but I'm sorry - I really think you are.
I had trouble being home alone too bob. I was in a mindset where I wanted to get away with things.
If noone knew noone was hurt, right?
(turns out my wife was deeply hurt when she found out but thats another thread)
Its kinda tragic now for me to look back and see just how much I was hurting myself.
D
my advice is to think about this tomorrow, away from the post rosy glow of drinking and having 'nothing bad' happening.
Just as we say this is not the best it gets in early recovery...what you experienced tonight is not the worst it gets.
I drank like a gentleman several times...I treasured those few times as proof that I could control my drinking.
I disregarded the other 1000 times I did not drink like a gentleman.
The great lie the AV likes to sell us is that we can have control.
Maybe every 97 days might not be that bad - if we could stick to that...but few of us can.
I once went 60 days and thought the same - every two months is 6 times a year. No worries.
Within two weeks I was back drinking as hard as ever.
Another time, I decided to have a night off recovery.
I drank every day for the next 2 and a half years.
I never had all the bad things I read about here everyday. I am an alcoholic, but I have had and have a great life.
As my son says, if there's no video, it didn't happen.
If noone knew noone was hurt, right?
(turns out my wife was deeply hurt when she found out but thats another thread)
Its kinda tragic now for me to look back and see just how much I was hurting myself.
D
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 752
Bobdrop on your post about the not having bad stuff happing in life I’ve been pretty blessed about actually having a good life minus a couple things but has nothing to do with alcohol but it’s hard when I can get drink everynight and blackout and it only effects me I’m the one drinking it so it’s harder to give up for me cause I still think at times I’m in control because I haven’t lost anything yet !!!
But I’m giving my new medication a chance and im over the cycle I put myself in so today is day 3 not where i should be but Better then drinking
But I’m giving my new medication a chance and im over the cycle I put myself in so today is day 3 not where i should be but Better then drinking
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 697
Happy Easter Strawberry
Welcome back Magpie.
Nichole, I hope you enjoyed your sober night
Bob - I wish I had some words of wisdom to share but I'll defer that to Dee. I'm so sorry you decided to drink, just when you were doing so well. I hope you stick around. I really enjoy reading your posts.
I am grateful that I have not had any desire to drink and haven't even noticed when those around me are drinking. It's a really good feeling...freedom!
Hubby and I are having a lazy Sunday morning just drinking coffee and playing with puppies. We plan on doing some yard work later this afternoon when the weather warms up a bit.
I hope everyone has a great day!
Welcome back Magpie.
Nichole, I hope you enjoyed your sober night
Bob - I wish I had some words of wisdom to share but I'll defer that to Dee. I'm so sorry you decided to drink, just when you were doing so well. I hope you stick around. I really enjoy reading your posts.
I am grateful that I have not had any desire to drink and haven't even noticed when those around me are drinking. It's a really good feeling...freedom!
Hubby and I are having a lazy Sunday morning just drinking coffee and playing with puppies. We plan on doing some yard work later this afternoon when the weather warms up a bit.
I hope everyone has a great day!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 2,547
Oh Bob, I'm so sorry you decided to drink even if nothing bad happened (this time). I can relate somewhat to your feelings about "no real consequences"...I had/have a great job, lovely family, a beautiful home and all the outward trappings of success. No DUI, embarrassing public incidents, etc. But I was MISERABLE, anxious, hopeless, trapped in a private hell of my own making. I have no doubt that I could drink today and moderate in the short term, but I have no illusions that I could sustain moderation for any length of time. I've tested this theory enough times to know. 
In any case, I am 100% here for you, so please feel free to PM me or post here, we've all hit rough patches and I definitely understand how these things happen. 
In any case, I am 100% here for you, so please feel free to PM me or post here, we've all hit rough patches and I definitely understand how these things happen.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 219
Sober today. Yesterday was a giant hangover day. I knew I was flirting with disaster by trying to moderate. I did pretty well for about 3 weeks, then we went on vacation and since I’ve been back it’s what I want to do every night again. And of course there’re a handful of people in my life who just love to drink with me and have wondered where I’ve been. Ah, that’s one thing I’ll miss. For some reason love feels lovelier after just a few.
Plan on meditating today. Also, I need groceries bad. I’ve been letting my life go. Been eating horribly! No clean laundry, filthy house, etc. It might nice to do a cleanse or fast- anyone heard of one they like?
Plan on meditating today. Also, I need groceries bad. I’ve been letting my life go. Been eating horribly! No clean laundry, filthy house, etc. It might nice to do a cleanse or fast- anyone heard of one they like?
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Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 2,332
Thinking of you Bob and I'm glad to see you checked in today. I hope you're doing ok and that you come back soon.
Great job on day 3 Nichole.
Playing with puppies is about the best way I can think of to spend a morning Barbs
Magpie, I don't know much about fasting, but I've thought about it as well. It's come up a few times in my keto research. I need to get used to the basics first, but may try it later.
Have a good day/evening everyone~
Great job on day 3 Nichole.
Playing with puppies is about the best way I can think of to spend a morning Barbs
Magpie, I don't know much about fasting, but I've thought about it as well. It's come up a few times in my keto research. I need to get used to the basics first, but may try it later.
Have a good day/evening everyone~
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 752
Thinking of everyone stay strong y’all
Proud to say I’m 100% committed on ending the day sober 5 more hours until I can call it day 4!!!!
Bobdrop canguy magpie red ur not alone we are all here for you!!!!!
y’all some of my favorite peeps I love this class
Proud to say I’m 100% committed on ending the day sober 5 more hours until I can call it day 4!!!!
Bobdrop canguy magpie red ur not alone we are all here for you!!!!!
y’all some of my favorite peeps I love this class
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 752
Things got a little quite around here......
Hopefully everyone is okay I’m excited to have woken up sober to day 4 idk where this commitment came from but I’m not complaining guess i just got tired of all the bulls*t drinking done made me in to a shady person breaking promises and my last black out I still had a drink in my hand which isn’t normal guess I’m over the drinking cycle and so far loving the sobriety living
Hopefully all is well take care
Hopefully everyone is okay I’m excited to have woken up sober to day 4 idk where this commitment came from but I’m not complaining guess i just got tired of all the bulls*t drinking done made me in to a shady person breaking promises and my last black out I still had a drink in my hand which isn’t normal guess I’m over the drinking cycle and so far loving the sobriety living
Hopefully all is well take care
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Greece
Posts: 943
Day here and feel like crap . Again again again .
In my head I always new I would drink over Easter . But now it's game on .
Hope your ok bob and canguy magpie and everyone X hang in there !
Well done Nicole so proud of u X
Love this group to bits !
If any of you are on face book and want to add me please pm me for my real name xxx
In my head I always new I would drink over Easter . But now it's game on .
Hope your ok bob and canguy magpie and everyone X hang in there !
Well done Nicole so proud of u X
Love this group to bits !
If any of you are on face book and want to add me please pm me for my real name xxx
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 2,547
Nichole, that's awesome that you're on day 4!
Strawberry, I know you already know this, but I do think it comes down to taking drinking completely off the table. You have to really want it, especially in the first few weeks. One of the things that helps me the most is to catalog all of my awful feelings while drinking, and then summon them up every single time I considered drinking...even for a moment. I also said "NO" out loud, to try to break the association between positive thoughts and alcohol. I'm definitely not judging you, as I have totally been there too, but the fact that you are still here seems to suggest that you really want to quit but are "trying" instead of deciding, and then planning specifically to support your decision. It is not easy.
Strawberry, I know you already know this, but I do think it comes down to taking drinking completely off the table. You have to really want it, especially in the first few weeks. One of the things that helps me the most is to catalog all of my awful feelings while drinking, and then summon them up every single time I considered drinking...even for a moment. I also said "NO" out loud, to try to break the association between positive thoughts and alcohol. I'm definitely not judging you, as I have totally been there too, but the fact that you are still here seems to suggest that you really want to quit but are "trying" instead of deciding, and then planning specifically to support your decision. It is not easy.
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Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 697
Nichole, great job on day 4! Glad you're feeling so well.
Strawberry, hope you can recommit and make today day 1.
Bob, canguy, and magpie I hope you're all doing well and hanging in there
I planned on going to the gym this morning but this darn virus just doesn't want to let go. I opted for a light workout on my treadmill instead. I plan on spending the night playing with puppies, since hubby is working late tonight.
Strawberry, hope you can recommit and make today day 1.
Bob, canguy, and magpie I hope you're all doing well and hanging in there
I planned on going to the gym this morning but this darn virus just doesn't want to let go. I opted for a light workout on my treadmill instead. I plan on spending the night playing with puppies, since hubby is working late tonight.
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 752
Magpie red barbs palmersage Chloerose strawberry Emme bobdrop canguy dee just want to let you know I’ve been thinking about all the advice you have given me and the amazing support and I’m going to bed sober tonight hasn’t been easy only thing I wanted to do was numb myself and blackout but I took everything I had and fought to stay sober this was the hardest I fought and I’m actually proud I didn’t give in I hope y’all sober to if not please start your day 1 and we can fight through this together y’all amazing and thank you!!!! magpie bobdrop canguy let us know how your doing you to strawberry
going to wake up to day 5 tomorrow
going to wake up to day 5 tomorrow
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Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 2,332
Hi everyone,
Great job getting through day 4 Nichole, hoping day 5 won't be as tough. Awesome job
Bob and canguy, please check in and let us know how you are doing.
Strawberry and Magpie, I hope you're doing ok.
I hope you feel better soon Barbs.
Hi PalmerSage, Chloe, Dee, and everyone else
My aunt's sister called me tonight, and my aunt is getting worse. She is having trouble breathing and they think it's a lung disease. They are doing a test tomorrow and then she will be on a ventilator for 5-14 days. They are hoping they will be able to wean her off the ventilator, and if not, she will be put on hospice.
I've been lucky in that up until recently I haven't lost very many people close to me. The last 5 months I've lost 3 people, and my brother and sister in law have had medical issues, and like I said I know I've been lucky, I just really hope this all ends soon. I don't want to drink, thinking about drinking and how I felt makes me want to cry to be honest, and I can't go back there, but I wish I had an escape.
Anyway, sorry for the negative post I just don't have anyone to tell. Tomorrow will be better
I hope everyone has or is having a good day
Great job getting through day 4 Nichole, hoping day 5 won't be as tough. Awesome job
Bob and canguy, please check in and let us know how you are doing.
Strawberry and Magpie, I hope you're doing ok.
I hope you feel better soon Barbs.
Hi PalmerSage, Chloe, Dee, and everyone else
My aunt's sister called me tonight, and my aunt is getting worse. She is having trouble breathing and they think it's a lung disease. They are doing a test tomorrow and then she will be on a ventilator for 5-14 days. They are hoping they will be able to wean her off the ventilator, and if not, she will be put on hospice.
I've been lucky in that up until recently I haven't lost very many people close to me. The last 5 months I've lost 3 people, and my brother and sister in law have had medical issues, and like I said I know I've been lucky, I just really hope this all ends soon. I don't want to drink, thinking about drinking and how I felt makes me want to cry to be honest, and I can't go back there, but I wish I had an escape.
Anyway, sorry for the negative post I just don't have anyone to tell. Tomorrow will be better
I hope everyone has or is having a good day
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Greece
Posts: 943
Sending a hug Emme !
Hope everyone is well ! We're heading on holiday tomorrow to the other side o Greece for a football tournament for my 9 year old ! 2 ferrys and a very very long coach journey ! Yuck! Not sure if are apartment will have Internet! I'll be back Sunday !
Xx
Hope everyone is well ! We're heading on holiday tomorrow to the other side o Greece for a football tournament for my 9 year old ! 2 ferrys and a very very long coach journey ! Yuck! Not sure if are apartment will have Internet! I'll be back Sunday !
Xx
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