Class of January Support Thread 2018 Part 5
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 2,908
I feel like this is the longest we've been on one page! Maybe I will kick us over the edge.
Palmer, it's more of a trip but it is generally relaxing and wonderful. We rent a house down in Galveston. It's not a nice or fancy beach or anything but it's good enough for us. This year we are staying 2 weeks. I'm not sure if I'm going to try and get a sitter so I can work part of it or not. I don't know how I can get away with two full weeks off. No one on the executive team does that. But maybe I will start a trend. I am going to seek advice on one of the other busier forums on mentally preparing myself to not leave a crack open on this trip. We always go and see our wonderful friends and drinking buddies and that is part of the fun so I'm just going to have to have a plan and a lot of tools. I'll get a practice run when I go down there for two nights with a good friend in May. Sadly/oddly my primary concern is knowing that others may be uncomfortable with me not imbibing. Stupid I know but it's what's in my head.
Still hoping to hear some check ins. Worried about peeps. Hope everyone has a wonderful Friday and super sober weekend!
Palmer, it's more of a trip but it is generally relaxing and wonderful. We rent a house down in Galveston. It's not a nice or fancy beach or anything but it's good enough for us. This year we are staying 2 weeks. I'm not sure if I'm going to try and get a sitter so I can work part of it or not. I don't know how I can get away with two full weeks off. No one on the executive team does that. But maybe I will start a trend. I am going to seek advice on one of the other busier forums on mentally preparing myself to not leave a crack open on this trip. We always go and see our wonderful friends and drinking buddies and that is part of the fun so I'm just going to have to have a plan and a lot of tools. I'll get a practice run when I go down there for two nights with a good friend in May. Sadly/oddly my primary concern is knowing that others may be uncomfortable with me not imbibing. Stupid I know but it's what's in my head.
Still hoping to hear some check ins. Worried about peeps. Hope everyone has a wonderful Friday and super sober weekend!
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 2,547
That sounds like a great trip! I always worry about what other people will think of my not drinking, but it's a little different because of my secrecy...I wasn't a "known" big drinker as far as I know. On my recent ski trip, it was fairly easy to stick to club soda and lime, as well as coffee...I commented on another thread that when I'm offered a drink, I say "actually, I would fall asleep if I had wine right now, I need coffee!"
It would be amazing if you were able to take a full 2 weeks. It's so hard to not keep up with the work Joneses, isn't it? I wonder if it would be helpful for you to think of it as a need, rather than a want, knowing that your work will get a huge productivity boost when you return?
It would be amazing if you were able to take a full 2 weeks. It's so hard to not keep up with the work Joneses, isn't it? I wonder if it would be helpful for you to think of it as a need, rather than a want, knowing that your work will get a huge productivity boost when you return?
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 325
Just a very quick fly by. I’ve found people are nowhere near as bothered by my not drinking than I thought they would be. I think a lot of that was my own shame about my drinking so saying I had stopped was like going public about my drinking. I’ve found ‘I’m not drinking for health reasons’ works quite well and actually so long as I have a drink of some sort in my hand people don’t really notice.
Wine was my alcohol of choice and I often have my cranberry and water in a wine glass socially, it’s not about pretending it’s alcohol, it just feels good in a social setting.
Must run, the course is starting.
Wine was my alcohol of choice and I often have my cranberry and water in a wine glass socially, it’s not about pretending it’s alcohol, it just feels good in a social setting.
Must run, the course is starting.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 984
Just a quick check in for me but @Sunflower - WELL DONE for recognizing those thoughts and coming here to post rather than let the AV take control. You’re stronger than the AVs manipulative attempts. We are all here for you! Just focus on getting through today. ‘Ride the waves’ of those cravings - let them wash over you but do not engage them, and tomorrow you will be stronger.
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Texas
Posts: 754
Thanks y’all. I’m at my kid’s school festival until 8 so I’m good for today.
I’ve been trying to get and stay sober for three years and I am so irritated with myself for wanting to drink. I should know by now what will happen if I do.
I’ve been trying to get and stay sober for three years and I am so irritated with myself for wanting to drink. I should know by now what will happen if I do.
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 2,547
Sunflower, the important thing is that you make it through, not that it's pretty or not a struggle. I'm sure we've all had our moments...I've had more than I can count, but I really admire the fact that you posted BEFORE you made a choice that you would regret. It will be so great to get in bed tonight sober. Way to go. 
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 2,908
Yay Sunflower! Now we can celebrate with a cup of coffee tomorrow 
I can't say that I want to drink exactly but my job was brutal today and will be over the weekend so I feel kind of half dead. A bunch of people are out and a good friend wants me to come. None except one (my old drinking buddy) is a heavy drinker but I'm afraid I'm in such a semi shattered head space I'd just start drinking straight bourbon or something.
Speaking of drinking buddies, the people I see in Galveston are supportive but I will say last time I got sober and then stopped being sober my good friend she was kind of relieved. She wasn't sure what she was going to do if I stayed sober forever. she really does love me and is a good friend so I"m sure it will be fine in the end but somehow the combination of my husband and them and the beach has me worried in advance.
Again way to go Sunflower!
I can't say that I want to drink exactly but my job was brutal today and will be over the weekend so I feel kind of half dead. A bunch of people are out and a good friend wants me to come. None except one (my old drinking buddy) is a heavy drinker but I'm afraid I'm in such a semi shattered head space I'd just start drinking straight bourbon or something.
Speaking of drinking buddies, the people I see in Galveston are supportive but I will say last time I got sober and then stopped being sober my good friend she was kind of relieved. She wasn't sure what she was going to do if I stayed sober forever. she really does love me and is a good friend so I"m sure it will be fine in the end but somehow the combination of my husband and them and the beach has me worried in advance.
Again way to go Sunflower!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 325
@ Sunflower. Me too!! I was sitting on a course fantasising about pouring a glass of wine at the end of the day and feeling quite resentful about the fact I couldn’t.
The AV is like a Ninja at times, it is awesome that you came here, far more sensible than sitting quietly with your craving and risk feeling isolated. I know others have spoken about things getting harder as the 90 day mark approaches.
I don’t think I have completely made my peace with the fact I don’t drink, it feels like a sneaky backdoor to drinking still exists and beckons even why I am double locking the front door if that make sense?
I hope the craving passes soon for you.
The AV is like a Ninja at times, it is awesome that you came here, far more sensible than sitting quietly with your craving and risk feeling isolated. I know others have spoken about things getting harder as the 90 day mark approaches.
I don’t think I have completely made my peace with the fact I don’t drink, it feels like a sneaky backdoor to drinking still exists and beckons even why I am double locking the front door if that make sense?
I hope the craving passes soon for you.
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 2,547
Yay Sunflower!!! I love the idea of you and Numblady meeting for coffee, that's amazing! I keep seeing a longtime SR person with the name of a city that's close to me, and wondering if I should reach out. You guys go first and maybe I'll consider it! 
Scotty, do you mean that you make all these contingency plans to stay sober, only for it to randomly sneak in a back door that you hadn't even considered? If so, that makes total sense to me. I always tended to think (overthink?) any potentially stressful situation which would have made me drink, only to make it through that situation and proceed to drink right after. Or I'll fantasize about drinking a glass of bourbon as NL mentioned (which I've never even had), instead of my "beloved" vodka. It's just all so strange.
I'll have a few hours to myself today, with only one of my kids that is! It's kind of a cloudy, gloomy day here, so I may try to see a movie with my mom (which we both like to do).
Funny, the mom of one of my son's friends just texted me asking whether we like breweries or wineries, and I responded with "I don't drink, but my husband likes to go sometimes!" She replied, "Oh OK. Just a thought." Hmm. I know she is probably not overthinking it like I am, but that was the first time I ever proclaimed "I don't drink" so I was hoping for a nicer reaction. Overthinking again!
Scotty, do you mean that you make all these contingency plans to stay sober, only for it to randomly sneak in a back door that you hadn't even considered? If so, that makes total sense to me. I always tended to think (overthink?) any potentially stressful situation which would have made me drink, only to make it through that situation and proceed to drink right after. Or I'll fantasize about drinking a glass of bourbon as NL mentioned (which I've never even had), instead of my "beloved" vodka. It's just all so strange.
I'll have a few hours to myself today, with only one of my kids that is! It's kind of a cloudy, gloomy day here, so I may try to see a movie with my mom (which we both like to do).
Funny, the mom of one of my son's friends just texted me asking whether we like breweries or wineries, and I responded with "I don't drink, but my husband likes to go sometimes!" She replied, "Oh OK. Just a thought." Hmm. I know she is probably not overthinking it like I am, but that was the first time I ever proclaimed "I don't drink" so I was hoping for a nicer reaction. Overthinking again!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 984
Hi Class!
Quick check in for me as I am away with my mom for the night in a spa hotel. We went for lunch then had massages earlier and then just chilled out in the spa area. We’ve just come for dinner now.
@Palmer: Hope you enjoy ‘mom’ time too!
@Sunflower I am SO proud of you. Having the strength and wherewithal to call out that sneaky AV BEFORE any damage was done is incredible. I have definitely been ‘fantasizing’ lately and the AV has been sneaking up, chattering about life being short, letting my hair down, having fun, etc. I think the 90 day shadow is casting its reach here at 83 days! So weird how we’re all experiencing these odd cravings and AV interferences!
I’m just so happy to have you all to empathize, share and communicate with through the challenging times, and to celebrate the little and big victories along the way.
Quick check in for me as I am away with my mom for the night in a spa hotel. We went for lunch then had massages earlier and then just chilled out in the spa area. We’ve just come for dinner now.
@Palmer: Hope you enjoy ‘mom’ time too!
@Sunflower I am SO proud of you. Having the strength and wherewithal to call out that sneaky AV BEFORE any damage was done is incredible. I have definitely been ‘fantasizing’ lately and the AV has been sneaking up, chattering about life being short, letting my hair down, having fun, etc. I think the 90 day shadow is casting its reach here at 83 days! So weird how we’re all experiencing these odd cravings and AV interferences!
I’m just so happy to have you all to empathize, share and communicate with through the challenging times, and to celebrate the little and big victories along the way.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 366
Numblady & Palmer - I have to agree with Scotty that most people really don't seem to care if I'm drinking or not. I think so much of that noise is actually in our heads, ya know? Honestly, now that I'm not drinking I'm kind of surprised how many people don't drink. I thought everyone was always enjoying a cocktail, but now I'm noticing that quite a few people are sipping on soda. Who knew?
Scotty & Sunflower - CONGRATS on resisting the urge. It's not easy. I know that. Good job!
Numblady - I've always wanted to visit Galveston, ever since I was a little girl and Glen Cambell sang about it - lol (yes . . . yes I realize how much that dates me - lol!!) A beach vacation with former drinking buddies would be hard for me for sure. I know what you mean about supportive friends who are still hoping you might return to drinking. I have a friend who just yesterday texted me, "I'm bored. Let's do something".
I answered, "O.k., go for a walk on the beach or nature preserve? "
Crickets.
I texted "movie?"
Crickets.
I texted, "want to shop for a dress for that thing you have in a few weeks?"
Crickets.
Finally . . . many hours later . . . she answered, "Maybe just hang out at my house?"
I know she was hoping I would say, "Go for a cocktail?" or "Try that new wine bar?"
And I know that her answer was basically, "I'll just have a glass of wine at home. Stop by if you want" without coming out and actually saying it. She doesn't even drink much. It's just she always could count on me to join her for a cocktail when she felt inclined to indulge.
Ug. I guess it will be interesting to see how this friendship survives my sobriety.
"Hi" to all my fellow sober Jan 2018 peeps!!!!
Scotty & Sunflower - CONGRATS on resisting the urge. It's not easy. I know that. Good job!
Numblady - I've always wanted to visit Galveston, ever since I was a little girl and Glen Cambell sang about it - lol (yes . . . yes I realize how much that dates me - lol!!) A beach vacation with former drinking buddies would be hard for me for sure. I know what you mean about supportive friends who are still hoping you might return to drinking. I have a friend who just yesterday texted me, "I'm bored. Let's do something".
I answered, "O.k., go for a walk on the beach or nature preserve? "
Crickets.
I texted "movie?"
Crickets.
I texted, "want to shop for a dress for that thing you have in a few weeks?"
Crickets.
Finally . . . many hours later . . . she answered, "Maybe just hang out at my house?"
I know she was hoping I would say, "Go for a cocktail?" or "Try that new wine bar?"
And I know that her answer was basically, "I'll just have a glass of wine at home. Stop by if you want" without coming out and actually saying it. She doesn't even drink much. It's just she always could count on me to join her for a cocktail when she felt inclined to indulge.
Ug. I guess it will be interesting to see how this friendship survives my sobriety.
"Hi" to all my fellow sober Jan 2018 peeps!!!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 366
Day 85 for me. I will not be drinking today.
Sosoosososooo tonight is the official start of "sailing season". It's unusually cold, so no boats are in the slips yet . . . but the club is open, and it's officially STINKING DRINKING season with an open bar tonight and an open mic venue. (We have so much really talented musicians in the club. It's crazy that way.)
I'll be going but likely not staying long. I told a friend I would meet up with her. She's a good friend and has a lot of similar interests as I do (interests that DON'T include drinking), so I'm looking forward to catching up with her an making some warmer weather plans.
Hubby is home this weekend and he will be going too. He's really irritating me though. So I plan on walking to the club so I can make a quick get away if necessary.
Wish me luck. I'm glad I have nearly 90 days under my belt before the club opened. I'm determined to make it a good sailing season (though we'll be starting late due to hubby's surgery) . . . a good SOBER sailing season!
Sosoosososooo tonight is the official start of "sailing season". It's unusually cold, so no boats are in the slips yet . . . but the club is open, and it's officially STINKING DRINKING season with an open bar tonight and an open mic venue. (We have so much really talented musicians in the club. It's crazy that way.)
I'll be going but likely not staying long. I told a friend I would meet up with her. She's a good friend and has a lot of similar interests as I do (interests that DON'T include drinking), so I'm looking forward to catching up with her an making some warmer weather plans.
Hubby is home this weekend and he will be going too. He's really irritating me though. So I plan on walking to the club so I can make a quick get away if necessary.
Wish me luck. I'm glad I have nearly 90 days under my belt before the club opened. I'm determined to make it a good sailing season (though we'll be starting late due to hubby's surgery) . . . a good SOBER sailing season!
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