24Hour Recovery Connections Part 351
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posts: 320
Originally Posted by PhoenixJ 
Forgiveness...of self, something I have, at times desperately tried to grasp. Unfortunately it takes time and for me- very hard work. My rock-b was fatal. Everything changed. I lost everything, including very nearly my life because of my addiction to booze.
I do not know if I will ever 'forgive' myself, but a huge first step- is acceptance, to let go. Sure memories, thoughts and feelings still come uninvited. The smell of Eucalypts baking smell on a hot summer day, bird song in the morning- even a certain model car- can set of mems. These will have their day- so repressing them does not work. Neither does nurturing the past with the badness it has. I let the memories run until my little brain has reconfigured them in my new life. To forgive, means being able to accepet, then let go and move on.
A lot of professional types have used very striking words to define my physical, mental and addictive recovery- miraculous is one. They tell me I 'should' be very proud of what I have achieved. I cannot do that, but I tell them I am satisfied with my progress- and that is an encouraging thought.
Support to all.
I do not know if I will ever 'forgive' myself, but a huge first step- is acceptance, to let go. Sure memories, thoughts and feelings still come uninvited. The smell of Eucalypts baking smell on a hot summer day, bird song in the morning- even a certain model car- can set of mems. These will have their day- so repressing them does not work. Neither does nurturing the past with the badness it has. I let the memories run until my little brain has reconfigured them in my new life. To forgive, means being able to accepet, then let go and move on.
A lot of professional types have used very striking words to define my physical, mental and addictive recovery- miraculous is one. They tell me I 'should' be very proud of what I have achieved. I cannot do that, but I tell them I am satisfied with my progress- and that is an encouraging thought.
Support to all.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
Congrats to everyone recommitting to their recovery today - especially
joshlyman ~ weeks! ♥
dizzybee ~ 4 weeks! ♥
SaturatedSeize ~ 2 months! ♥
gatorman ~ 1 year & 8 months! ♥
tgirl ~ 4 years & 8 months! ♥
D
joshlyman ~ weeks! ♥
dizzybee ~ 4 weeks! ♥
SaturatedSeize ~ 2 months! ♥
gatorman ~ 1 year & 8 months! ♥
tgirl ~ 4 years & 8 months! ♥
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 4,553
Hi all! Its almost noon in sunny Northumberland! Just been for a swim with mummy dearest and Melly. I've outed myself now in terms of the diet. My mum is an absolute health freak so I avoid telling her these things because she can nag like an absolute maestro! 
So no going back now!
Have a great day all I'll check in again when I get home ❤❤❤
So no going back now! Have a great day all I'll check in again when I get home ❤❤❤
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
Day 293
I've come to some amazing realizations about why my other addictive cycle with food continues to occur. I feel a sense of relief since I now understand it all (I blogged about it if you care to read.)
I am ready to move forward with my life and my self-challenge of the week is to do something spiritual upon awakening as opposed to the time I waste at the computer each morning! I can surf the web any time of day- morning will be for meditation or yoga instead. Wish me luck, this is not going to be an easy habit to break! But one worth breaking indeed...
Love you all!
24 more please
I am ready to move forward with my life and my self-challenge of the week is to do something spiritual upon awakening as opposed to the time I waste at the computer each morning! I can surf the web any time of day- morning will be for meditation or yoga instead. Wish me luck, this is not going to be an easy habit to break! But one worth breaking indeed...
Love you all!
24 more please
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,647
I will not wish you luck, SFL, but my thoughts are with you. Perhaps I am being too silly, but you and I and all here- do not rely on luck. You have got this far, with changing your thinking- by working hard at it. Change only comes with effort- so not luck, but you are in my prayers and I wish you well.
Some one I know recently told me I was 'lucky' to get the unit I now have. I replied in, probably a tarty voice, that luck had nothing to do with it- I worked hard and show diivdends for it.
Same goes for you.
I started yoga last week- it is quite tiring- all the stretching, especial of the scarred bit (from burns), but I actually enjoy it.
Some one I know recently told me I was 'lucky' to get the unit I now have. I replied in, probably a tarty voice, that luck had nothing to do with it- I worked hard and show diivdends for it.
Same goes for you.
I started yoga last week- it is quite tiring- all the stretching, especial of the scarred bit (from burns), but I actually enjoy it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,647
Originally Posted by Nic233
I can relate well to your struggle to forgive yourself.. We have different circumstances obvioulsy but I cannot seem to find much forgiveness or compassion for myself although I always can for other people. I almost lost my boys due to my drug use 9 years ago, and have made so many stupid mistakes and decisions as an alcoholic too... I think it's time that we tried to dig deep and see us as others see us.. That's what my Psych once advised me to do. She pointed out that I always have compassion towards others so maybe I could be kinder to myself in the same way.. We can't change our past but we can't let it destroy our future PJ 
Sending love xx
Sending love xx
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 2,256
Greetings sober army, hope everyone is doing well.
I'm still ill. I've still got this virus or bug that makes everything seem like I'm walking through quicksand in the middle of a desert on a particularly hot day. Got zero energy and keep feeling really really hot and then really really cold. My husband has the illness too. So far today, I've got the kids their breakfast, walked the dog, cleaned the house, help the kids with their homework and done grocery shopping for the week. My husband has managed to watch two movies on Netflix and moan about feeling ill. A lot. Bless him. That Y chromosome must react really badly to the bug
I think that this illness has highlighted another advantage of being a recovering alcoholic. Even feeling really ill is better than feeling hungover. At least I don't feel full of shame and self-loathing when I'm ill. And I can already feel myself getting a little better which makes me so proud of my awesome immune system that is still working even though I spent years poisoning myself. So I have loads to feel grateful for ... but if my husband tells me one more time that he's feeling so nauseous it's difficult to concentrate on the film... I may have a little tantrum. A sober, dignified, delicate tantrum but a tantrum none the less.
Congratulations to everyone celebrating a milestone today. 24 more hours for me please xxxx
I'm still ill. I've still got this virus or bug that makes everything seem like I'm walking through quicksand in the middle of a desert on a particularly hot day. Got zero energy and keep feeling really really hot and then really really cold. My husband has the illness too. So far today, I've got the kids their breakfast, walked the dog, cleaned the house, help the kids with their homework and done grocery shopping for the week. My husband has managed to watch two movies on Netflix and moan about feeling ill. A lot. Bless him. That Y chromosome must react really badly to the bug
I think that this illness has highlighted another advantage of being a recovering alcoholic. Even feeling really ill is better than feeling hungover. At least I don't feel full of shame and self-loathing when I'm ill. And I can already feel myself getting a little better which makes me so proud of my awesome immune system that is still working even though I spent years poisoning myself. So I have loads to feel grateful for ... but if my husband tells me one more time that he's feeling so nauseous it's difficult to concentrate on the film... I may have a little tantrum. A sober, dignified, delicate tantrum but a tantrum none the less.
Congratulations to everyone celebrating a milestone today. 24 more hours for me please xxxx
No quitting on yer quit eh!
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 3,870
"The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live."
- Flora Whittemore
6:20am in Alberta, it's going to be a darn good day not to drink!
24 more for me and everyone else who wants them please, and thanks...
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 2 (0 members and 2 guests)
