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Class of February 2018 Support Thread Pt 2

Old 02-19-2018, 01:34 PM
  # 121 (permalink)  
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Quick post as I'm overloaded with work deadlines. Yes - airport beers, one of my favorite things. Doing well, no major craving struggles since Friday. Day, lemme think, nine, yes nine. I've been tooling around reading posts (even if I don't reply, know I read everyone's updates with interest, empathy for set-backs, and enthusiasm for victories) and also looking a bit at SMART, AVRT, RR, etc. resources to see what resonates most for my needs.
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Old 02-19-2018, 01:40 PM
  # 122 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by ProfessorD View Post
lessgravity, omg yes! I once went to a bookstore that served champagne and I basically wanted to live there. But come to think of it, I used to think any activity would be more fun with a little buzz... I need to reframe my thinking. I wonder how many enjoyable books I missed because I was so focused on the drinking? I wonder how productive I can be in the airport if I just find a quiet spot and do some work?
Exactly - my drunk self would be so ambitious about what I could read and how and when. As if alcohol helped me read anything ever at all.
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Old 02-19-2018, 02:29 PM
  # 123 (permalink)  
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congrats on17 days 02022018 !
you too CuteNGayYay

congratulations too to you CrossYourHeart on 21 days and taketwo 9.
Congrats to everyone else hitting a milestone

ProfessorD best wishes for a sober satisfying trip
best of luck to you with your project too wayforward

Glad you're sticking with us Zenna - you too lessgravity

welcome macncheez and welcome back sunshine72

the best thing anyone can do is post here before you drink again - let us help!

D
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Old 02-20-2018, 01:45 AM
  # 124 (permalink)  
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Hi all, I'm happy to be here. 14 days sober . I started Campral a week ago which is helping immensely with the cravings which I would succumb to over and over again. It's hard to explain but the urge to drink is just not there. I hope it persists. I've felt very tired and unmotivated over the last two weeks but I'm starting to eat more healthily and get a little exercise- it's helping. Hope you're all well.
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Old 02-20-2018, 01:57 AM
  # 125 (permalink)  
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welcome noneever

D
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Old 02-20-2018, 02:34 AM
  # 126 (permalink)  
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😎 just dusting.
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Old 02-20-2018, 04:50 AM
  # 127 (permalink)  
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Hi everyone,

Just checking in quickly....glad to see everyone doing well.
I'm on day 12. I can't believe it. Love nest I've gone in a long time. Struggling with cravings. Thanks for the book recommendation about sugar cravings and willpower. I knew about the body's need for sugar when alcohol is gone (I gained 40 pounds last time I got sober) but not its relationship to willpower. This interesting and makes total sense.

I was in NYC with my daughter and friends yesterday. We had lunch and did some shopping. Today I am meeting work friends for a day of crafting. Anything to keep busy!!!

Have a great day febs!!
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Old 02-20-2018, 05:49 AM
  # 128 (permalink)  
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Day 9. I'm back home in Georgia. Away from my friends and my mom. Feeling lonely and sad and like a pity party might be around the corner. Its raining and I can't apply for jobs yet because weed is still in my system.

Loneliness, sadness, self-pity, all things I wrote in my action plan as warning signs. So I will be grateful today. Grateful the mail is running today and maybe my books will come. I'll save the rest for morning gratitude. The women's meeting is tonight, I should go. There aren't any women my age there and I used to use that as an excuse. But i will go and I will talk (eep!) and I will listen.

Now to get my butt up, make some coffee, scrambled eggs and a green smoothie <3
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Old 02-20-2018, 06:45 AM
  # 129 (permalink)  
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I'm trying this again. Need a lot of support to make it.
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Old 02-20-2018, 08:35 AM
  # 130 (permalink)  
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A Thankful Newbie

Good day everyone. I was recently introduced to this forum by my girlfriend with a link to this site that she provided via text. She told me I was part of the "Class of February" - and I had no idea what she was speaking of, so I decided to check things out around here. This is obviously my first post, and the first online forum I have taken the time to actually read and ponder what I was hearing during my struggle. After browsing through much of the information found here and reading stories and replies from so many unique individuals and their circumstances, I would just like to say that a forum like this may be just what the doctor ordered for me and express my thanks to those who run and participate in this site.

I've been on quite the journey for the last couple of years with the battle against grandpa's old cough medicine. Typically, every other day I would find myself throwing down (one fifth of liquor at a time) due to many of the same reasons discussed here. Stress from multiple areas of life. Needed the escape; only to find multiple facets of my life and family being torn to virtual shreds on the days between my drinking crusade (when I would at least sober up enough to carry on an aimless conversation that I could have a moderate recollection of). I made a conscious decision at the first of this year (as a resolution) to make significant changes in 2018. And I'm doing better, as I just completed 18 days without a drop -- but had a slip up last week. And I'm back to day 6 now. 23 out of 24 days is quite an achievement for me considering where I've been, and I have essentially accomplished this with nothing but sheer willpower on my own. No AA. No treatment. No therapy. No literature. No online forums. Nothing. Just stubborn ole me.

The reason I say this may be just what the doctor ordered is because I finally opened my mind up enough to listen while reading here, and I found myself tremendously enlightened and encouraged by many of you. As a type A personality, a professional business man and musician, a self-proclaimed intellectual, and so on, I have consistently been reluctant to speak to anyone about this. I went to an AA meeting once, and found it boring to the point that I almost went to sleep, not to mention, unhelpful. I probably shouldn't have given up so easy. Maybe should have tried another group. But I was always afraid I would see someone I knew and word would get out, not to mention, I just didn't find the info valuable at the time because I just wasn't ready to quit, as well as it being a pride thing.

Like many, I desperately want to manage this on my own. I maintain this issue as the most classified area of my life because I feel I have so much to lose. But do I? I've enjoyed success in life, but recently I have lost two good/stable jobs due to this one obstacle I've not been able to shake. Struggling mentally, emotionally, spiritually, socially and financially is now where I find myself, which is a place I've never really had to deal with in my 40 years on the earth.

Miraculously, I did get some good news during this war I'm engaged in (separate from the great partner I have who supports me indiscriminately). As a lifelong aspiring musician, I have recently been presented the opportunity to accomplish many of my lifelong dreams as a musician by being offered a position with a Grammy Award winning group. Only one thing stands between myself and achieving multiple dreams; the ever-elusive sobriety. And I fiercely want to get to the point where I can sustain it long-term, not just for this gig, or money, fame, etc, but for my own health, family and sanity. While I'm closer than I've been in a long time, I still feel like I am so far away from where I need to be and where I want to go.

I plan on hanging around here as a regular and perhaps getting to know some of you. Being here today already TKO'd my urge to grab the bottle, so I sure do hope for more of the same. I can really be a stubborn mule at times in so many ways, and I recognize that (and sometimes need to be reminded of it), so maybe you guys can help me with that. This is the first online forum of this type I have ever posted on or participated in, and honestly, part of just the mere participation feels somewhat liberating today -- and that's likely because unlike that one meeting I squeamishly attended, I am ready for real change now. I am happy that I heeded the call to direction here and look forward to the interaction -- and to being a part of what I have concluded to be such a promising and supportive group.
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Old 02-20-2018, 09:35 AM
  # 131 (permalink)  
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Day 18 checking in..

Welcome Gnu!
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Old 02-20-2018, 11:58 AM
  # 132 (permalink)  
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Hi lovelies, little old Jaffa here, I've not posted on here for a while, so thought I'd best post an update
I've hit a milestone of 30 days sober today so I'm feeling oober proud 💃💃
I've noticed some little changes
my eyes, face and tummy are less bloated
I've shed 8lbs I think about wine very little now if I do the thought just flies through my head it doesn't hang around which I'm grateful for
My sleep pattern has improved
Energy levels are still a bit up and down
My depression and anxiety levels has reduced slightly, it's not consistent yet but I'm happy just to see some improvement
I'm eating regular meals
I use SR on a daily basis as my main support network, I also read articles online about the damage alcohol can do
One day at a time for me
Good luck everyone with your personal journey 😸
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Old 02-20-2018, 12:29 PM
  # 133 (permalink)  
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Welcome HairlessGnu. It sounds like you have a really amazing opportunity in front of you. One that you are absolutely capable of attaining. Don't let alcohol sabotage it. Keep it up. You will only go on to do surprise yourself with the things you are capable of while sober.

Jaffa, congratulations on 30 days! That's a huge milestone. And 8lbs, wow. Sounds like you're really starting to experience the benefits. I'm sure there are many more to come.
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Old 02-20-2018, 12:33 PM
  # 134 (permalink)  
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My update: that piece I was whining about on the other page arrived today, so I'm in good spirits haha. Things feel back on track and now it's really up to me to kill it on Thursday.

After Thursday, I'd like to put some more focus on recovery stuff: maybe journaling some more, finally go to a meeting, etc.

Also might be time to start addressing my substitute dependencies. I'm definitely overdoing it with the caffeine. And then I use melatonin to help me sleep. So, it's like one drug to wake me up and another to put me to sleep (although I guess melatonin isn't much of a 'drug'). I'd like to function more naturally!
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Old 02-20-2018, 12:58 PM
  # 135 (permalink)  
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Checkin in - day 14 here. Glad to see you all posting. Stay strong.
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Old 02-20-2018, 01:02 PM
  # 136 (permalink)  
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Jaffa, congratulations on 30 days! That's a huge milestone. And 8lbs, wow. Sounds like you're really starting to experience the benefits. I'm sure there are many more to come.
Thanks Way forward it's all so very exciting, glad things are good with you, I can relate with you over the caffeine I drink more coffee now than I've ever drank, when I work nights we're looking at 2spoons of coffee but I'm still off the sugar, good job really lol 😀😀😀
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Old 02-20-2018, 01:12 PM
  # 137 (permalink)  
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New Here

Hello,

I'm new here. I've been reading the forums here and there and finally decided the extra motivation from actually posting might do me some good.

I'm not an every day drinker, or even every week - recently I enjoyed four wonderful months of sobriety. However, since then I've had three incidents with binge drinking, which tends to be my issue. My pattern in the past has generally been about once every two weeks or so. I have similar reasons as everyone else, an extremely stressful job, underlying depression, social anxiety and a family history of alcoholism..
I know I need to abstain entirely, because I simply cannot control how much I drink when I do. I've already got other tools I use to help myself - I've been a competitive runner for years, and I go to the gym about five days a week. I've been working on meditation as another means to curb the anxiety, but so far it hasn't stuck.
Before my most recent binge, I began to feel immensely anxious, because i guess I knew what was going to happen, but I did it anyway. I can't even explain my rationale because I don't know that I had one. I woke up at a friend's house after being blackout for several hours, my heart racing, my stomach turning. I've been living with the guilt for several days. How can I continue to do this to my body that I love so much?
I've also been having trouble finding supportive friends. I mentioned the four months I had of sobriety.. before that, I made the conscious decision to remain abstinent and even went to the trouble of telling some friends that I think I have a problem. I told them I understand if they want to continue to drink but that I would not be putting myself in those situations for a while. Four months later a friend of mine wanted to "catch up". She was one of the first friends I told about my intention to be sober. She asked me to meet her at a bar, which, at that point I had been to bars and just had snacks and non-alcoholic drinks. But when I got there, it was one of the only bars in this city that does not serve food... I sat with her for a while watching her drink her beer and eventually caved. Thus began my shameful cycle once again.
I really want to stop entirely. I know I have it in me, I just feel so alone in this. No one else seems to think I have a problem, or if they do, like my partner, they can't understand why I have to stop entirely.
Thanks for reading this, it makes me feel a little less alone just to get this out there.
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Old 02-20-2018, 01:41 PM
  # 138 (permalink)  
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Welcome the new Febs...so
Glad you’re here!

Runtorecover, I was just emailing a friend of mine who is also a distance runner and he made the comment that there appear to be a lot of runners on here. It is interesting (I run, too) that so many of us are athletes and care about our bodies, but not enough to remove poisonous habits? I’ve been thinking a lot about that lately, and how I want to cherish my body and it’s abilities (whatever level) and drinking cannot fit into my lifestyle anymore. So glad you found us!
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Old 02-20-2018, 01:51 PM
  # 139 (permalink)  
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Quitnow4,

Thanks for the welcoming words
It is interesting. Perhaps it has something to do with either
a) drinking being so ingrained in running culture (beer miles, beer at post-race events, wine runs, hashers, etc)
And/or b) our reward circuits in our brains are just REALLY sensitive - so we get addicted to the good endorphins from running, and maybe also the bad rewards from alcohol?

It's too bad they don't have running groups for those of us trying to stay sober!
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Old 02-20-2018, 03:41 PM
  # 140 (permalink)  
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18 days.

Dealing with someone trying to take control and make decisions when she doesn't have the power (I do) - on top of the "your idea is wrong" kind of thing. I hate volunteer gigs.

I have worked myself into a flurry with it trying to defend my stance.

My fibromyalgia is on high alert on top of heavy low back pain - nothing touches this except alcohol so I have been suffering the last week pretty badly.

Then, I get a call a couple hours ago - my Dad has fallen and has been sent to the ER - they think he has fractured his hip.

I feel like electricity is running through me right now. It is not anxiety. It is something else.

All I can think of doing right now is wanting to drink....
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