Class of January Support Thread 2018 Part 4
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 2,908
thanks to all for the kind words and concern re father in law. He is doing a lot better. It was a stroke and he is still in ICU but he is doing loads better and the medicine seems to be undoing some of the effects quickly. Which we are told means a full recovery is likely though he may have to do inpatient rehab. The physical kind. Wish he could also then do the physical/mental alcohol detox kind but probably won’t happen. Is it bad that I’m also worrying how bad he must feel for not drinking anything after being such a heavy drinker for so long? My husband says he’s still really out of it and probably doesn’t even notice. I hope so. And we all hope this might be a wake up call for him to start taking care of himself. Hoping too his recovery won’t be too tough.
Ok good night. Had overall fun date night with essentially zero temptation to drink or self pity because I couldn’t. Strange what a difference a day makes! Anyhow was just focused on enjoying the conversation and not being focused on the drinks. We had to wait a LONG time for our drinks at the restaurant. Which when you are drinking a delicious mocktail is no big deal but would have really stressed me out before.
Hope all are well out there and enjoying a healthy weekend.
One more thing Ubntubnt that reunion sounds really rough! So impressed with your fortitude on this.
Ok good night. Had overall fun date night with essentially zero temptation to drink or self pity because I couldn’t. Strange what a difference a day makes! Anyhow was just focused on enjoying the conversation and not being focused on the drinks. We had to wait a LONG time for our drinks at the restaurant. Which when you are drinking a delicious mocktail is no big deal but would have really stressed me out before.
Hope all are well out there and enjoying a healthy weekend.
One more thing Ubntubnt that reunion sounds really rough! So impressed with your fortitude on this.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 192
Originally Posted by Sunflower79 
Good morning everyone 😊
Day 23 here. I got a sponsor yesterday. We are meeting next week to get to know each other better. In the mean time I’m working on step one and really digging into the unmanageability of my drinking. I sometimes struggle with that because I’ve never had any real consequences to my drinking.
Day 23 here. I got a sponsor yesterday. We are meeting next week to get to know each other better. In the mean time I’m working on step one and really digging into the unmanageability of my drinking. I sometimes struggle with that because I’ve never had any real consequences to my drinking.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 192
Originally Posted by JC-NY
RELAPSES
It is VERY important to remember relapse happens way before the first drink. Recognizing that and being able to reach out and double down the efforts on our sobriety plan becomes a little easier if we can remember or recognize our own signs of being on the relapse ladder.
Relapse is at the top of a nine step ladder of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. The lowest rung is called happy memories. "Happy memories" means that you are thinking about the good times you had while you were drinking.
The next rung up is called "I wasn't that bad." This occurs when you tell yourself you weren't really that bad, that your addiction was someone else's fault that your problem was caused by anything except your disease.
The next rung higher is stopping treatment. This means that you cease going to meetings, you stop practicing the steps, you don't have time to see your therapist, you stop talking to your sponsor, and you don't do your daily meditation. When you stop treatment, you pretend that you can stay sober by doing nothing.
The fourth rung is called high risk situations. Examples are you return to the bar that you used to frequent, you begin hanging out with your old using friends, you spend long periods of time isolating in the basement where you used to drink vodka. You put yourself in these situations not thinking that you will use there, but just to experience the feeling of being there again.
The fifth rung is called, emotional imbalance. During emotional imbalance, something causes you to get really angry, irritated or otherwise emotional and you remember how your drug, drink or behavior took away the pain of the emotion. You may even get really happy and you remember how you always drank to celebrate. Now you are really getting higher on the ladder, and like any ladder, the higher you go, the more dangerous the climb. Also, the higher you go, the more committed you are to reaching the top.
The sixth rung is fantasizing. Now, you are spending increasing periods of your day thinking about drinking for no apparent reason.
Fantasizing leads to the seventh rung, getting ready to use. This means you intend to drink and you plan how you are going to relapse. You tell yourself that tonight when my wife is asleep, I am going to sneak out to the bar. You make arrangements to buy drugs. You return to the internet porn site. You get dressed to go to the casino. You think through the exact steps of where you are going to go to get your drugs, drink, or act out.
On the next rung, you actually get the drink. You acquire the tools of relapse. On this rung, you may feel a terrible panic, and unless you reach out to someone (which is now incredibly difficult to do because you are so committed to reaching the top), you step up to the final and ninth rung which is Relapse . As you know, the Relapse rung has a crack in it and cannot bear your weight. So you come crashing down. Sometimes the crash happens immediately. Sometimes, the crack worsens over time. But since there is a crack, you will fall. If you survive the fall, you will feel guilt at having relapsed. You will resolve to stop using. And unless you get treatment, you will start the terrible climb back up the relapse ladder beginning with the first rung which is...
If you are on the Relapse Ladder, you need to get off on the lowest rung possible BY TELLING ON YOUR DISEASE! Remember there are two parties involved in a relapse. There is you and there is your disease. If you tell someone that you may be on the Relapse Ladder, you are telling on your disease, not you.
So, ask yourself if you are on any of the nine rungs. If so, say to yourself, "I must get off the ladder now" five times to yourself with increasing emphasis. Then pick up the phone and tell your trusted friend, confidant, therapist, or mentor which rung of the ladder you are on and that you want to get off. (Leaving a voicemail message also works). If you can’t connect with someone, read your recovery literature, pray to your Higher Power, write down which rung you are on and list the consequences which made you want to get sober in the first place. Do something recovery oriented and don't substitute your drug of choice with another drug or bad behavior lest you start a new addiction. Then try to connect with a supportive person as soon as possible. This process works regardless of your philosophical or religious beliefs.
Remember, sharing with another doesn’t mean that you only reach out when you have a recognizable craving or urge to use. Sharing means that you reach out and discuss where you may be on the Relapse Ladder.
It is VERY important to remember relapse happens way before the first drink. Recognizing that and being able to reach out and double down the efforts on our sobriety plan becomes a little easier if we can remember or recognize our own signs of being on the relapse ladder.
Relapse is at the top of a nine step ladder of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. The lowest rung is called happy memories. "Happy memories" means that you are thinking about the good times you had while you were drinking.
The next rung up is called "I wasn't that bad." This occurs when you tell yourself you weren't really that bad, that your addiction was someone else's fault that your problem was caused by anything except your disease.
The next rung higher is stopping treatment. This means that you cease going to meetings, you stop practicing the steps, you don't have time to see your therapist, you stop talking to your sponsor, and you don't do your daily meditation. When you stop treatment, you pretend that you can stay sober by doing nothing.
The fourth rung is called high risk situations. Examples are you return to the bar that you used to frequent, you begin hanging out with your old using friends, you spend long periods of time isolating in the basement where you used to drink vodka. You put yourself in these situations not thinking that you will use there, but just to experience the feeling of being there again.
The fifth rung is called, emotional imbalance. During emotional imbalance, something causes you to get really angry, irritated or otherwise emotional and you remember how your drug, drink or behavior took away the pain of the emotion. You may even get really happy and you remember how you always drank to celebrate. Now you are really getting higher on the ladder, and like any ladder, the higher you go, the more dangerous the climb. Also, the higher you go, the more committed you are to reaching the top.
The sixth rung is fantasizing. Now, you are spending increasing periods of your day thinking about drinking for no apparent reason.
Fantasizing leads to the seventh rung, getting ready to use. This means you intend to drink and you plan how you are going to relapse. You tell yourself that tonight when my wife is asleep, I am going to sneak out to the bar. You make arrangements to buy drugs. You return to the internet porn site. You get dressed to go to the casino. You think through the exact steps of where you are going to go to get your drugs, drink, or act out.
On the next rung, you actually get the drink. You acquire the tools of relapse. On this rung, you may feel a terrible panic, and unless you reach out to someone (which is now incredibly difficult to do because you are so committed to reaching the top), you step up to the final and ninth rung which is Relapse . As you know, the Relapse rung has a crack in it and cannot bear your weight. So you come crashing down. Sometimes the crash happens immediately. Sometimes, the crack worsens over time. But since there is a crack, you will fall. If you survive the fall, you will feel guilt at having relapsed. You will resolve to stop using. And unless you get treatment, you will start the terrible climb back up the relapse ladder beginning with the first rung which is...
If you are on the Relapse Ladder, you need to get off on the lowest rung possible BY TELLING ON YOUR DISEASE! Remember there are two parties involved in a relapse. There is you and there is your disease. If you tell someone that you may be on the Relapse Ladder, you are telling on your disease, not you.
So, ask yourself if you are on any of the nine rungs. If so, say to yourself, "I must get off the ladder now" five times to yourself with increasing emphasis. Then pick up the phone and tell your trusted friend, confidant, therapist, or mentor which rung of the ladder you are on and that you want to get off. (Leaving a voicemail message also works). If you can’t connect with someone, read your recovery literature, pray to your Higher Power, write down which rung you are on and list the consequences which made you want to get sober in the first place. Do something recovery oriented and don't substitute your drug of choice with another drug or bad behavior lest you start a new addiction. Then try to connect with a supportive person as soon as possible. This process works regardless of your philosophical or religious beliefs.
Remember, sharing with another doesn’t mean that you only reach out when you have a recognizable craving or urge to use. Sharing means that you reach out and discuss where you may be on the Relapse Ladder.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 192
I've been having problems with my ISP. And then I was dicking around with my user profile.....I still need to go back and double check it....sigh. I just wanted to set the time of day to MST and now I see I've got the posting dates starting where they should end. I'll figure it out. In the meantime...
Yes the novelty of sobriety can wane. That's why only another recovering alcoholic understands how hard it is to fight this everyday....and why some of us fall into that pit and dig ourselves out, clean the dirt from under our fingernails and start fresh, over and over. It's not pretty. Don't let your guard down. When your on the 1st rung of the ladder yell 'help'. Easier said than done. This class is here for one reason. Don't forget it.
"Eckhart Tolle says, " Addiction begins with pain," meaning that pain is behind compulsive behavior. Eleven years clean, I still feel the urge to medicate pain. Whenever events don't go my way, my first instinct is to annul the feeling, to look for an external resource to solve the problem. The second part of Eckhart's edict kicks in here ----addiction "ends with pain." Medication of any kind offers only a temporary solution; it always leads back to pain and becomes therefore predictably cyclical.
- Russell Brand -
But we all know that, right?, RIGHT?
Yes the novelty of sobriety can wane. That's why only another recovering alcoholic understands how hard it is to fight this everyday....and why some of us fall into that pit and dig ourselves out, clean the dirt from under our fingernails and start fresh, over and over. It's not pretty. Don't let your guard down. When your on the 1st rung of the ladder yell 'help'. Easier said than done. This class is here for one reason. Don't forget it.
"Eckhart Tolle says, " Addiction begins with pain," meaning that pain is behind compulsive behavior. Eleven years clean, I still feel the urge to medicate pain. Whenever events don't go my way, my first instinct is to annul the feeling, to look for an external resource to solve the problem. The second part of Eckhart's edict kicks in here ----addiction "ends with pain." Medication of any kind offers only a temporary solution; it always leads back to pain and becomes therefore predictably cyclical.
- Russell Brand -
But we all know that, right?, RIGHT?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 32
Goodmorning all, it's already Sunday and the weekend is turning out to be relaxing and good for me. Was a bit busy and did not post for a while. But still sober and almost third weekend in sobriety done!
The weekend seems to be so much more relaxing now. I have much more time. That might help during the workweek, in being able to manage the stress much better. It's such vicious circle this alcohol problem, but now in a good way.
I had some really heavy craving friday afternoon and night. But after some distraction it went away. Some things seem te get easier. I went out for dinner last night and it felt quite easy to not drink. Somehow you get used to it, not to drink. But I should stay aware of AV, Friday night it was really yelling in my head!!
The ladder for relapse is really useful, if you take this into account you can be alert much earlier than you might think is necessary. Thank JC-NY.!!
Ubntubnt: good luck with your reunion. Think of the pride you will feel afterwards when you keep sober. Also it gives you the change to see what alcohol is doing to people. I find that quite interesting to analyse now. What exactly is the thing that we were thinking is great about it?? Or is it just a big mislead by alcohol itself?
Have good day, I am going for a walk.
CarpeDiem
The weekend seems to be so much more relaxing now. I have much more time. That might help during the workweek, in being able to manage the stress much better. It's such vicious circle this alcohol problem, but now in a good way.
I had some really heavy craving friday afternoon and night. But after some distraction it went away. Some things seem te get easier. I went out for dinner last night and it felt quite easy to not drink. Somehow you get used to it, not to drink. But I should stay aware of AV, Friday night it was really yelling in my head!!
The ladder for relapse is really useful, if you take this into account you can be alert much earlier than you might think is necessary. Thank JC-NY.!!
Ubntubnt: good luck with your reunion. Think of the pride you will feel afterwards when you keep sober. Also it gives you the change to see what alcohol is doing to people. I find that quite interesting to analyse now. What exactly is the thing that we were thinking is great about it?? Or is it just a big mislead by alcohol itself?
Have good day, I am going for a walk.
CarpeDiem
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,222
@TYG2, isn't it amazing how easily those first couple of relapse steps happen? How easily we can remember those good times and filter our the awful ones? As soon as I start to feel good and more positive I immediately begin to associate alcohol with happy times. Well, that has to stop and I will have to correct my AV right there immediately at step 1 if I am to beat this longer term.
@Numblady, thats a good lesson to learn for all of us. That on days when you feel down or agitated or experience cravings that the following day can be a 180 on that. Just don't drink and with the rising sun the following day can come a new feeling and reality.
@NewChapter, great progress. I know you don't want your sobriety to not impact on your husband and on your date night but honestly, at this point in your journey, your sobriety maters most. I am sure your husband will understand and be happy to support you if he understands how important it is to you. The session with my exworkmates will be fine. I tend to focus on challenges well. But I now also know my sneaky AV well.....it will wait until I get through the weekend and then whisper that I deserve a congratulatory glass of wine on the plane back.
@Sunflower, But if not c’est la vie. I’m just gonna keep working on being the best person like me enjoying this life ! Way to go!
@PalmerSage, day 54! Awesome!
@Numblady, thats a good lesson to learn for all of us. That on days when you feel down or agitated or experience cravings that the following day can be a 180 on that. Just don't drink and with the rising sun the following day can come a new feeling and reality.
@NewChapter, great progress. I know you don't want your sobriety to not impact on your husband and on your date night but honestly, at this point in your journey, your sobriety maters most. I am sure your husband will understand and be happy to support you if he understands how important it is to you. The session with my exworkmates will be fine. I tend to focus on challenges well. But I now also know my sneaky AV well.....it will wait until I get through the weekend and then whisper that I deserve a congratulatory glass of wine on the plane back.
@Sunflower, But if not c’est la vie. I’m just gonna keep working on being the best person like me enjoying this life ! Way to go!
@PalmerSage, day 54! Awesome!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Texas
Posts: 754
Originally Posted by TYG2
I've been having problems with my ISP. And then I was dicking around with my user profile.....I still need to go back and double check it....sigh. I just wanted to set the time of day to MST and now I see I've got the posting dates starting where they should end. I'll figure it out. In the meantime...
Yes the novelty of sobriety can wane. That's why only another recovering alcoholic understands how hard it is to fight this everyday....and why some of us fall into that pit and dig ourselves out, clean the dirt from under our fingernails and start fresh, over and over. It's not pretty. Don't let your guard down. When your on the 1st rung of the ladder yell 'help'. Easier said than done. This class is here for one reason. Don't forget it.
"Eckhart Tolle says, " Addiction begins with pain," meaning that pain is behind compulsive behavior. Eleven years clean, I still feel the urge to medicate pain. Whenever events don't go my way, my first instinct is to annul the feeling, to look for an external resource to solve the problem. The second part of Eckhart's edict kicks in here ----addiction "ends with pain." Medication of any kind offers only a temporary solution; it always leads back to pain and becomes therefore predictably cyclical.
- Russell Brand -
But we all know that, right?, RIGHT?
Yes the novelty of sobriety can wane. That's why only another recovering alcoholic understands how hard it is to fight this everyday....and why some of us fall into that pit and dig ourselves out, clean the dirt from under our fingernails and start fresh, over and over. It's not pretty. Don't let your guard down. When your on the 1st rung of the ladder yell 'help'. Easier said than done. This class is here for one reason. Don't forget it.
"Eckhart Tolle says, " Addiction begins with pain," meaning that pain is behind compulsive behavior. Eleven years clean, I still feel the urge to medicate pain. Whenever events don't go my way, my first instinct is to annul the feeling, to look for an external resource to solve the problem. The second part of Eckhart's edict kicks in here ----addiction "ends with pain." Medication of any kind offers only a temporary solution; it always leads back to pain and becomes therefore predictably cyclical.
- Russell Brand -
But we all know that, right?, RIGHT?
Love, love, love this 💖.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Texas
Posts: 754
I have been up since 3:00am with a donut 🍩 hangover so I’m definitely back to clean eating.
It really makes me grateful to be sober. I don’t know how I functioned after a night of drinking. Ugh. Never again!!!!
It really makes me grateful to be sober. I don’t know how I functioned after a night of drinking. Ugh. Never again!!!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 366
Sunflower - I so great that you are so motivated to eat clean. I'm cleaning up my diet too, but just a little bit at a time. I had cheese cake for dessert last night.
Ssoossoososooo 30 days sober for me today.
I was hoping I'd be feeling a bit better about that accomplishment than I do. I don't feel much better physically (other than better digestion - which really is great). My mood has been pretty steady. I only had one real "craving" during that last 30 days.
Basically, I'm just feeling rather . . .. meh . . .
Anyway, I'm not going to drink today.
But I think I need to search for a better recovery plan for the longterm. Can I just set a goal of not drinking for another 30 days, or should it be something more than that?
Ssoossoososooo 30 days sober for me today.
I was hoping I'd be feeling a bit better about that accomplishment than I do. I don't feel much better physically (other than better digestion - which really is great). My mood has been pretty steady. I only had one real "craving" during that last 30 days.
Basically, I'm just feeling rather . . .. meh . . .
Anyway, I'm not going to drink today.
But I think I need to search for a better recovery plan for the longterm. Can I just set a goal of not drinking for another 30 days, or should it be something more than that?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 984
Quick check in 28/28 of 90/90 for me - I don’t have time right now to respond to posts individually, but will definitely catch up tomorrow as have just read through all of your posts through last night/today.
Another week/weekend down guys - let’s keep the momentum and progress going!
Another week/weekend down guys - let’s keep the momentum and progress going!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 2,547
Milly, congrats on 30 days!!! That is awesome! 
I will say that my worst cravings came, seemingly out of nowhere, on day 30. I read somewhere that the "milestones" can be tricky sometimes, hopefully that will not be the case for you, or anyone else here. I also completely relate to needing something more for my recovery, possibly AA, so I can try to connect with people in person. Right now, the only person who knows I'm not drinking is my spouse, so I feel a little isolated sometimes. Thank God for SR. 
Day 55 here. The weather is rainy, gray, and so gloomy, which tends to really get me down. However, if I were drinking, it would be truly bleak, instead I just feel really blah and looking forward to bed tonight (despite the fact that it's not even 1 p.m., yes, that is pretty sad). We are having family over for dinner tonight, so I will have to rally for that. Hopefully the Olympics will keep everyone entertained, so I don't have to.
I will say that my worst cravings came, seemingly out of nowhere, on day 30. I read somewhere that the "milestones" can be tricky sometimes, hopefully that will not be the case for you, or anyone else here. I also completely relate to needing something more for my recovery, possibly AA, so I can try to connect with people in person. Right now, the only person who knows I'm not drinking is my spouse, so I feel a little isolated sometimes. Thank God for SR. Day 55 here. The weather is rainy, gray, and so gloomy, which tends to really get me down. However, if I were drinking, it would be truly bleak, instead I just feel really blah and looking forward to bed tonight (despite the fact that it's not even 1 p.m., yes, that is pretty sad). We are having family over for dinner tonight, so I will have to rally for that. Hopefully the Olympics will keep everyone entertained, so I don't have to.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 325
Hey everyone,
Just a quick check in on Monday morning for me. I want to thank you all. I had such a busy social weekend, no drinking even though others were. Then when my partner had left (he was with me for a week instead of just a weekend) it was almost as if the car drove itself to the bottle store on the way home. It was the thought of this group, that wonderful post about the relapse ladder and the daily struggles many of us face that helped me put my foot down and keep driving. It’s not that I feel accountable to this class, it is my responsibility to keep myself sober and I know if I relapse I will be met with support, it is more a sense of walking with you and knowing you are rooting for me to succeed as I am to all of you.
It is so true, you can scale that relapse ladder in a matter of minutes. I didn’t even recognise I wanted a drink in that moment and then an old pattern just remerged and almost got me. This group, you amazing people - you make a difference.
Just a quick check in on Monday morning for me. I want to thank you all. I had such a busy social weekend, no drinking even though others were. Then when my partner had left (he was with me for a week instead of just a weekend) it was almost as if the car drove itself to the bottle store on the way home. It was the thought of this group, that wonderful post about the relapse ladder and the daily struggles many of us face that helped me put my foot down and keep driving. It’s not that I feel accountable to this class, it is my responsibility to keep myself sober and I know if I relapse I will be met with support, it is more a sense of walking with you and knowing you are rooting for me to succeed as I am to all of you.
It is so true, you can scale that relapse ladder in a matter of minutes. I didn’t even recognise I wanted a drink in that moment and then an old pattern just remerged and almost got me. This group, you amazing people - you make a difference.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 32
Originally Posted by scottynz
It is so true, you can scale that relapse ladder in a matter of minutes. I didn’t even recognise I wanted a drink in that moment and then an old pattern just remerged and almost got me. This group, you amazing people - you make a difference.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 366
Thanks Palmer. I haven't even told my hubby that I'm not drinking. I think it's pretty obvious, but he's not really one to notice what I do or don't do. He's pretty wrapped up in his own world. (My marriage is not very good.)
I guess I'm really wondering if I can just set another goal of not drinking for 30 days? Is that a good enough goal? Does it HAVE to be something more? Does it HAVE to involve more than SR?
How does one even decide to "never" do something again? I mean I try to envision myself sitting on the patio or the sailboat this summer sans alcohol . . . just a nice large glass of fresh lemonade. But then it makes me wonder why I'm thinking about summer now anyway? Why am I thinking about what I can (or really can't have) this summer? I don't normally think about things I will or will not do six months from now. I'd rather just go for a snowy hike through the woods instead.
So again, do I have to think of myself as a "non drinker" or can I just decided not to drink for another month or two?
I guess I'm really wondering if I can just set another goal of not drinking for 30 days? Is that a good enough goal? Does it HAVE to be something more? Does it HAVE to involve more than SR?
How does one even decide to "never" do something again? I mean I try to envision myself sitting on the patio or the sailboat this summer sans alcohol . . . just a nice large glass of fresh lemonade. But then it makes me wonder why I'm thinking about summer now anyway? Why am I thinking about what I can (or really can't have) this summer? I don't normally think about things I will or will not do six months from now. I'd rather just go for a snowy hike through the woods instead.
So again, do I have to think of myself as a "non drinker" or can I just decided not to drink for another month or two?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 2,547
Milly, as always, your post is making me think. I can see what you're saying, where we have "one day at a time" on one hand, and not planning a future life of drinking on the other hand...because the "one days" should eventually build to the point that we never want to go back to that hell, the one that brought us here in the first place. Right? Maybe it's a matter of planning for things in the future that would not be possible if we were drinking alcoholically, so we're planning TO do something as opposed to NOT doing something? I really don't know (obviously). For me, I would not set a time limit which allows me to drink in the future. It would lead to simply abstaining, rather than learning new ways to cope and starting to "recover." That said, I've stopped short of publicly declaring myself a non-drinker, and I wonder if I am subconsciously leaving a door open by doing so...
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 2,547
Originally Posted by milly4me
I think I'm now starting to see why these set goal points (30 days, etc) are tricky. They leave you kinda of scrambling once you achieve them.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Texas
Posts: 754
Originally Posted by scottynz
Hey everyone,
Just a quick check in on Monday morning for me. I want to thank you all. I had such a busy social weekend, no drinking even though others were. Then when my partner had left (he was with me for a week instead of just a weekend) it was almost as if the car drove itself to the bottle store on the way home. It was the thought of this group, that wonderful post about the relapse ladder and the daily struggles many of us face that helped me put my foot down and keep driving. It’s not that I feel accountable to this class, it is my responsibility to keep myself sober and I know if I relapse I will be met with support, it is more a sense of walking with you and knowing you are rooting for me to succeed as I am to all of you.
It is so true, you can scale that relapse ladder in a matter of minutes. I didn’t even recognise I wanted a drink in that moment and then an old pattern just remerged and almost got me. This group, you amazing people - you make a difference.
Just a quick check in on Monday morning for me. I want to thank you all. I had such a busy social weekend, no drinking even though others were. Then when my partner had left (he was with me for a week instead of just a weekend) it was almost as if the car drove itself to the bottle store on the way home. It was the thought of this group, that wonderful post about the relapse ladder and the daily struggles many of us face that helped me put my foot down and keep driving. It’s not that I feel accountable to this class, it is my responsibility to keep myself sober and I know if I relapse I will be met with support, it is more a sense of walking with you and knowing you are rooting for me to succeed as I am to all of you.
It is so true, you can scale that relapse ladder in a matter of minutes. I didn’t even recognise I wanted a drink in that moment and then an old pattern just remerged and almost got me. This group, you amazing people - you make a difference.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Texas
Posts: 754
Originally Posted by milly4me
Thanks Palmer. I haven't even told my hubby that I'm not drinking. I think it's pretty obvious, but he's not really one to notice what I do or don't do. He's pretty wrapped up in his own world. (My marriage is not very good.)
I guess I'm really wondering if I can just set another goal of not drinking for 30 days? Is that a good enough goal? Does it HAVE to be something more? Does it HAVE to involve more than SR?
How does one even decide to "never" do something again? I mean I try to envision myself sitting on the patio or the sailboat this summer sans alcohol . . . just a nice large glass of fresh lemonade. But then it makes me wonder why I'm thinking about summer now anyway? Why am I thinking about what I can (or really can't have) this summer? I don't normally think about things I will or will not do six months from now. I'd rather just go for a snowy hike through the woods instead.
So again, do I have to think of myself as a "non drinker" or can I just decided not to drink for another month or two?
I guess I'm really wondering if I can just set another goal of not drinking for 30 days? Is that a good enough goal? Does it HAVE to be something more? Does it HAVE to involve more than SR?
How does one even decide to "never" do something again? I mean I try to envision myself sitting on the patio or the sailboat this summer sans alcohol . . . just a nice large glass of fresh lemonade. But then it makes me wonder why I'm thinking about summer now anyway? Why am I thinking about what I can (or really can't have) this summer? I don't normally think about things I will or will not do six months from now. I'd rather just go for a snowy hike through the woods instead.
So again, do I have to think of myself as a "non drinker" or can I just decided not to drink for another month or two?
For me I need AA, exercise, Quiet time with God in the mornings and coming here regularly. And I do it one day at a time. I don’t think into the future. It’s too overwhelming
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