Class of January Support Thread 2018 Part 4
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 366
Day 27. I won't drink today.
I wonder about the "all or nothing" thing. I mean does alcohol cause "all or nothing" thinking or is "all or nothing" thinking just part of an addictive personality.
I drank in college (as much as I could afford), but stopped at 21 years old (when I pregnant with my first) and didn't take up booze again until into my mid 30's when I remarried. But I was always "all or nothing" about everything; acturally more so before the booze slowed me down.
I really think I've always had an addictive personality. It is the only reason I never tried an illegal drug in my life. I just know I go all in when I try anything.
This trait is much less pronounced now that I'm older (in my 50's), but it's still there. That's way I'm approaching spinning more slowly. It's so like me to do too much too soon and injure myself (though I so have my eye on a new bike for when I start "spinning" outside in a few months, just need a few xtra thousand dollars to afford it- lol).
I guess this should mean it would be easy to go "all in" on sobriety. For some reason, going "all in" on NOT doing something isn't as easy for me.
I wonder about the "all or nothing" thing. I mean does alcohol cause "all or nothing" thinking or is "all or nothing" thinking just part of an addictive personality.
I drank in college (as much as I could afford), but stopped at 21 years old (when I pregnant with my first) and didn't take up booze again until into my mid 30's when I remarried. But I was always "all or nothing" about everything; acturally more so before the booze slowed me down.
I really think I've always had an addictive personality. It is the only reason I never tried an illegal drug in my life. I just know I go all in when I try anything.
This trait is much less pronounced now that I'm older (in my 50's), but it's still there. That's way I'm approaching spinning more slowly. It's so like me to do too much too soon and injure myself (though I so have my eye on a new bike for when I start "spinning" outside in a few months, just need a few xtra thousand dollars to afford it- lol).
I guess this should mean it would be easy to go "all in" on sobriety. For some reason, going "all in" on NOT doing something isn't as easy for me.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 2,547
Originally Posted by milly4me 
I guess this should mean it would be easy to go "all in" on sobriety. For some reason, going "all in" on NOT doing something isn't as easy for me.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 984
Hi Class!
A quick check in for me today at 25/25 of 90/90. Busy day on a training course, so just quickly catching up with everyone’s posts as best I can.
I am EXACTLY the same re: the ‘All or Nothing’ bipolar behaviour. I think it’s probably a pre-existing quirk or trait of our personalities, one that leaves us open to becoming more reactive/vulnerable/addicted to alcohol. It’s so interesting to read that a lot of others here have similar tendencies and patterns!
A quick check in for me today at 25/25 of 90/90. Busy day on a training course, so just quickly catching up with everyone’s posts as best I can.
I am EXACTLY the same re: the ‘All or Nothing’ bipolar behaviour. I think it’s probably a pre-existing quirk or trait of our personalities, one that leaves us open to becoming more reactive/vulnerable/addicted to alcohol. It’s so interesting to read that a lot of others here have similar tendencies and patterns!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Texas
Posts: 754
Hey 👋🏻
I am definitely an all or nothing girl also but I’m really working on giving myself some grace with that and relaxing a bit.
I’m doing well with the no sugar and I’m exercising daily but I ordered pizza 🍕 for dinner tonight. Oh well. I’m still sober and that’s what matters. Love to you all 💕
I am definitely an all or nothing girl also but I’m really working on giving myself some grace with that and relaxing a bit.
I’m doing well with the no sugar and I’m exercising daily but I ordered pizza 🍕 for dinner tonight. Oh well. I’m still sober and that’s what matters. Love to you all 💕
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Southern US
Posts: 626
Originally Posted by Sunflower79
Hey 👋🏻
I am definitely an all or nothing girl also but I’m really working on giving myself some grace with that and relaxing a bit.
I’m doing well with the no sugar and I’m exercising daily but I ordered pizza 🍕 for dinner tonight. Oh well. I’m still sober and that’s what matters. Love to you all 💕
I am definitely an all or nothing girl also but I’m really working on giving myself some grace with that and relaxing a bit.
I’m doing well with the no sugar and I’m exercising daily but I ordered pizza 🍕 for dinner tonight. Oh well. I’m still sober and that’s what matters. Love to you all 💕
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Southern US
Posts: 626
Congrats on 27 days Milly!
I am definitely an all or nothing girl. Whatever I do, I do it compulsively. I eat compulsively, I diet compulsively, i work compulsively, I love compulsively, and I drank compulsively. There is no gray area for me, I don’t always think things through - just shoot and ask questions later.
I am definitely an all or nothing girl. Whatever I do, I do it compulsively. I eat compulsively, I diet compulsively, i work compulsively, I love compulsively, and I drank compulsively. There is no gray area for me, I don’t always think things through - just shoot and ask questions later.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 2,907
Hi! Can’t believe it’s part 4! And 3 pages. I sure wish I had more time to do things like this that are important to me and to staying sober. Just wanted to say so impressed with everyone and all the support.
Komplex think you are right to wait for the right signs on sponsor.
Sunflower way to go on getting the sponsor!! I need to try and focus on uanageability in spite of only having less obvious consequences
PalmerSage what wise words about being careful to be honest about your feelings. I feel like I’m already internally plotting to drink again. If not before summer vacation then during. Not good. But at least I’ve got 163 days to prepare but who’s counting?
Dinner. Bye and lots of support to you al!
Komplex think you are right to wait for the right signs on sponsor.
Sunflower way to go on getting the sponsor!! I need to try and focus on uanageability in spite of only having less obvious consequences
PalmerSage what wise words about being careful to be honest about your feelings. I feel like I’m already internally plotting to drink again. If not before summer vacation then during. Not good. But at least I’ve got 163 days to prepare but who’s counting?
Dinner. Bye and lots of support to you al!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: LI, NY
Posts: 982
Quick check in, glad to see us all building our sober days! I'm going to focus on eating clean while working to gain muscle. Doing core exercises and trying to lose those last 5-7 pounds.
Staying sober and improving our physical/mental health one day at a time
Staying sober and improving our physical/mental health one day at a time
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,281
Originally Posted by Numblady
PalmerSage what wise words about being careful to be honest about your feelings. I feel like I’m already internally plotting to drink again. If not before summer vacation then during. Not good. But at least I’ve got 163 days to prepare but who’s counting?
Dinner. Bye and lots of support to you al!
Good luck. Great job everyone. Got my BB and I'll be attending a beginners AA meeting Monday.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 83
I did not really know why I drank until I finally went to an AA meeting this morning and the speaker hit it right on the head: life didn't do what I wanted it to, and my arrogance made that unbearable to face.
Another gentleman talked about the obsession. Obsession. It is obsession. Trying to explain why I drank might help in fighting it, but in the end it's an obsession which no longer exists because of an impetus but has become a thing of its own. That's why I know that while therapy is good and helpful and will help me understand why I became an alcoholic, it's not going to change the fact that I am an alcoholic. It's not going to fix me. I'm not going to be able to have those two glasses of wine once I figure out why those glasses stopped being enough so long ago.
Another gentleman talked about the obsession. Obsession. It is obsession. Trying to explain why I drank might help in fighting it, but in the end it's an obsession which no longer exists because of an impetus but has become a thing of its own. That's why I know that while therapy is good and helpful and will help me understand why I became an alcoholic, it's not going to change the fact that I am an alcoholic. It's not going to fix me. I'm not going to be able to have those two glasses of wine once I figure out why those glasses stopped being enough so long ago.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,281
Originally Posted by 4thegirls
I did not really know why I drank until I finally went to an AA meeting this morning and the speaker hit it right on the head: life didn't do what I wanted it to, and my arrogance made that unbearable to face.
Another gentleman talked about the obsession. Obsession. It is obsession. Trying to explain why I drank might help in fighting it, but in the end it's an obsession which no longer exists because of an impetus but has become a thing of its own. That's why I know that while therapy is good and helpful and will help me understand why I became an alcoholic, it's not going to change the fact that I am an alcoholic. It's not going to fix me. I'm not going to be able to have those two glasses of wine once I figure out why those glasses stopped being enough so long ago.
Another gentleman talked about the obsession. Obsession. It is obsession. Trying to explain why I drank might help in fighting it, but in the end it's an obsession which no longer exists because of an impetus but has become a thing of its own. That's why I know that while therapy is good and helpful and will help me understand why I became an alcoholic, it's not going to change the fact that I am an alcoholic. It's not going to fix me. I'm not going to be able to have those two glasses of wine once I figure out why those glasses stopped being enough so long ago.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 325
@ sunflower, good for you on the sugar thing. I’ve abandoned it for now. I suppose I am kind of tapering, but having just started back to work with some long days I am limiting sugar instead of doing without.
I am lucky that living in NY has ruined pizza for me, it was so good there and the ones here are a poor substitute - now cake is a different story!
24 days today, I am telling myself I will never drink again, my AV is not entirely convinced, but who cares what it thinks.
@Numblady. Drinking has always been part of holiday travel for me. From he airport bar, wine on the plane to cocktails by the pool. It is quite a focus of my travel and in the past almost a reward for working hard. My AV is already telling me I will have earned a drink when I go on holiday later this year, it doesn’t really count and I can go back to being sober when I get home. It’s a powerful temptation, but it is also a lie. I will drink myself into a stupor, I will buy duty free liquor to bring home, I will pass out drunk in a foreign place and also do harm to a body that is in early recovery. I won’t relax and destress, I will simply be drunk and then need to recover from the holiday.
I realise I can’t book an island holiday this year, I am not ready to place myself in that situation. I’m now looking into something completely different. I am in awe of ubntubnt’s recent sober travels, I hope to be able to do that one day.
Everyone’s stories and challenges are such a help to read. I’m really proud to be a part of this group.
I am lucky that living in NY has ruined pizza for me, it was so good there and the ones here are a poor substitute - now cake is a different story!
24 days today, I am telling myself I will never drink again, my AV is not entirely convinced, but who cares what it thinks.
@Numblady. Drinking has always been part of holiday travel for me. From he airport bar, wine on the plane to cocktails by the pool. It is quite a focus of my travel and in the past almost a reward for working hard. My AV is already telling me I will have earned a drink when I go on holiday later this year, it doesn’t really count and I can go back to being sober when I get home. It’s a powerful temptation, but it is also a lie. I will drink myself into a stupor, I will buy duty free liquor to bring home, I will pass out drunk in a foreign place and also do harm to a body that is in early recovery. I won’t relax and destress, I will simply be drunk and then need to recover from the holiday.
I realise I can’t book an island holiday this year, I am not ready to place myself in that situation. I’m now looking into something completely different. I am in awe of ubntubnt’s recent sober travels, I hope to be able to do that one day.
Everyone’s stories and challenges are such a help to read. I’m really proud to be a part of this group.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 2,547
Sunflower and Komplex, good for you for "giving yourself some grace," as Sunflower put it. That's a huge struggle for me, allowing for moments of indulgence without allowing moments to turn into a full-blown downward spiral. I guess that's called a failure to moderate? Plus a tendency to self-sabotage.
I hope my sober buddy shell77 checks in, as well as some other folks we haven't seen in a while.
Day 53. I cannot even entertain the thought of a drink. When thoughts of drinking do emerge, I need to shut them down by replacing the romantic version with the real version. JC-NY, you commented that your slip was caused by that, right?
I didn't join SR because my drinking was normal, or even manageable...it wasn't, and will never be. And each time I weather a rough spot, I'm reminded that I can deal with my life sober. I never wake up with feelings of regret for not drinking.
Getting myself organized and dealing with tasks and situations as they arise has been tremendously helpful in improving my outlook. It makes me feel like I have some control over my life, a feeling that has eluded me for a really long time.
I hope my sober buddy shell77 checks in, as well as some other folks we haven't seen in a while.
Day 53. I cannot even entertain the thought of a drink. When thoughts of drinking do emerge, I need to shut them down by replacing the romantic version with the real version. JC-NY, you commented that your slip was caused by that, right?
I didn't join SR because my drinking was normal, or even manageable...it wasn't, and will never be. And each time I weather a rough spot, I'm reminded that I can deal with my life sober. I never wake up with feelings of regret for not drinking.
Getting myself organized and dealing with tasks and situations as they arise has been tremendously helpful in improving my outlook. It makes me feel like I have some control over my life, a feeling that has eluded me for a really long time.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Texas
Posts: 754
Good morning everyone ❤️ Day 25 today.
I pigged out last night so I am really trying not to beat myself up for that. Oh well. Today’s a new day.
I’m on my phone so I can’t reply individually but I’ll be checking in a bunch this weekend so be prepared 😊
I pigged out last night so I am really trying not to beat myself up for that. Oh well. Today’s a new day.
I’m on my phone so I can’t reply individually but I’ll be checking in a bunch this weekend so be prepared 😊
Welsh member.
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Ireland
Posts: 328
Good afternoon you most wonderful, sober-joyousness reclaiming classmates.
For you 12 Steppers amongst us, here is more ammunition for your Step 1. (Life had become unmanageable).
Money saved so far:
€860Euro
£764GBP
$1054USD
$1330CAD
$1350AUD
¥6640CNY
219 Galleons, 2 Sickles, 10 Knuts (Still a chair in class for you Chickchick.
If you're struggling, keep pushing my friends. It is so worth it.
For you 12 Steppers amongst us, here is more ammunition for your Step 1. (Life had become unmanageable).
Money saved so far:
€860Euro
£764GBP
$1054USD
$1330CAD
$1350AUD
¥6640CNY
219 Galleons, 2 Sickles, 10 Knuts (Still a chair in class for you Chickchick.
If you're struggling, keep pushing my friends. It is so worth it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 366
Day 28 for me. I won't be drinking today.
I'm sosososo in awe of all of you keeping your diets clean and watching your sugar intake. I'm watching my sugar intake too . . . as in... I'm watching the sugar go RIGHT INTO MY MOUTH . . . haha. Seriously, I can't imagine worrying about my diet right now. I'm just not drinking . . . and exercising a reasonable amount (for an old fat lady).
I went to a 5:30 a.m. spin class this morning. It's snowing pretty good, and I was the ONLY one who showed up, so I couldn't hide in the back row or anything. It was a bit brutal, but fun.
A friend called because he needs help with a project this morning. I already had a bunch of stuff to accomplish today . . . but I'll help him instead. I'm happy that I'm not hungover this morning so I can help him.
About saving all kinds of money when you don't drink . . . well that hasn't worked out for me because I'm doing all kinds of interesting things now that I'm not shut in the house drinking. I have a concert tonight to attend, a lecture tomorrow morning to attend, and a workshop in the afternoon. I'm spending plenty of money, but at least it isn't on wine and junk food.
All is good.
Happy sober day classmates!!
I'm sosososo in awe of all of you keeping your diets clean and watching your sugar intake. I'm watching my sugar intake too . . . as in... I'm watching the sugar go RIGHT INTO MY MOUTH . . . haha. Seriously, I can't imagine worrying about my diet right now. I'm just not drinking . . . and exercising a reasonable amount (for an old fat lady).
I went to a 5:30 a.m. spin class this morning. It's snowing pretty good, and I was the ONLY one who showed up, so I couldn't hide in the back row or anything. It was a bit brutal, but fun.
A friend called because he needs help with a project this morning. I already had a bunch of stuff to accomplish today . . . but I'll help him instead. I'm happy that I'm not hungover this morning so I can help him.
About saving all kinds of money when you don't drink . . . well that hasn't worked out for me because I'm doing all kinds of interesting things now that I'm not shut in the house drinking. I have a concert tonight to attend, a lecture tomorrow morning to attend, and a workshop in the afternoon. I'm spending plenty of money, but at least it isn't on wine and junk food.
All is good.
Happy sober day classmates!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 984
Originally Posted by Sunflower79
Hey 👋🏻
I am definitely an all or nothing girl also but I’m really working on giving myself some grace with that and relaxing a bit.
I’m doing well with the no sugar and I’m exercising daily but I ordered pizza 🍕 for dinner tonight. Oh well. I’m still sober and that’s what matters. Love to you all 💕
I am definitely an all or nothing girl also but I’m really working on giving myself some grace with that and relaxing a bit.
I’m doing well with the no sugar and I’m exercising daily but I ordered pizza 🍕 for dinner tonight. Oh well. I’m still sober and that’s what matters. Love to you all 💕
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