Strawberry18

First 10 min

Strawberry18

a saying I heard ... A lost sheep ... That's me ... I'm lost ... Bye for now xx

numberthree

I've also being riding the crave wave. I'm not sure if it's getting any easier or harder but I'm pretty determined to see it through. Although I do have quite a bit of support, so I guess that makes it easier.

Pizza and a film tonight for me. It's my cheat meal having had a good health, exercise and get shredded by summer week!

hope you are doing ok strawberry

emme99

Thinking of you Strawberry. You can do this x

xxxNICHOLExxx

Strawberry thinking of you
Everyone else hopefully your doing okay
So......... this is harder to admit then what I was expecting.....I screwed up but I know what I need to do now to get back on track again wasn’t worth it at all

canguy

enjoy the day on the bike ChloeRose, thanks Barbs, meditation is something I sometimes think of trying, other times wonder if I'm not already doing it. There is a sect of zen monks who do a walking meditation. Walking is calming to the mind....if it is a state then its one that I find easier to attain than sitting there trying to think of nothing.....that is hard.

'Crave wave' is a good description, number 3. I'll use that.....ride it till it crashes. Its just a wave....

Strawberry....hope you ok. Don't go too far....
Nichole....can relate to what you say. It is something we are all learning to do. Every learning process has false starts.....they are part of learning how not to do something.

Oh, Dee....can't agree. The 100 sounds way worse on soda water......I'm gonna blame the soda.

ok...later

Barbs

Strawberry and Nichole - stay close and please keep checking in.

#3 I know that it will get easier. Glad you have so much support

Canguy, it's amazing how booze distorts the truth, huh, lol.

I had a some cravings today but nothing like yesterday. It passed before I really new it

Waiting for hubby to bring home burritos and spending the night watching motocross

xxxNICHOLExxx

Barbs... motocross??? Heck yea hopefully were talking about the same thing I used to race in my younger days I had a sponsorship with a Suzuki dealership and failed to listen and miss practice and races because of my drinking problems but I still will get on a dirt bike for fun my favorite rider is chad reed Australian boy my husband is jealous of him because I still have a picture of me and him when I meet him awhile back

Tomorrow will be day 1 sucks but it’s better then no days I used to say I miss drinking nope not anymore 0 enjoyment wish I could go back in time a change it going to call the doctor Monday and maybe switch medication I take 100% responsibility for my actions I’m glad I have SR to help me get back cause doing it alone never has work for me
Take care y’all

bobdrop

Happy Birthday Chloe! Hope it was a good one.

Strawberry-Nichole:I hope you figure out what you want, make a plan to get there, and implement. No one here thinks less of you and we want you to succeed and be happy in life.

Hey 3, pizza always puts me in a better mood

Canguy-I have to agree with Barbs, booze does distort the truth

Dee74

Getting sober is hard but staying sober is even harder.

Even the most lost sheep can be found again

If we find ourselves drinking again thats a sign that we need to do more in a) not drinking and b) making our sober life the life we want it to be.

My sober life is pretty good - cos I've worked on it.

I've picked myself up when I've fallen down - but even better than that is asking for help before we fall down

D

Dee74

Nah I don't think it's the soda Canguy - but at least these days my focus is on whats playing next and not on what I'm drinking next

D

Red78

Well here I am on day 2.. Please don't cave into the crave guys, it's not worth it.. I spent 8 days drinking, only 2 serious binge nights but I'm amazed at how quickly the craving kicks in on a daily basis after doing so much hard work to curb them...
I need to do some serious reshuffling of my life and look at what's important to me...
It seems like everyone's doing really well..
JT I hope you around somewhere..
In the car on the way to the beach, it's stinking hot here, too hot to study or think..

Dee74

welcome back Red - please do read what I said to Nichole and Strawberry - you can do this too

D

bobdrop

Welcome back Red.

MaggieJ

There’s so much I want to comment on every time I catch up on this thread. Dealing with my kids so unfortunately don’t have enough time to. But, Strawberry, I’ve said this before and I want to say it again. I derive all my strength from my kids. My getting sober is going to change everything for them. I know that. I’ve always known that. But it didn’t kick in strong enough to get me sober until 51 days ago. Luckily they are still so young that as long as I stay sober they won’t have any terrible memories involving me and alcohol. People say you have to quit for yourself. I say whatever works - quit for anyone in your life who you love and is being affect by alcohol. I don’t mean to preach. I can fall off this wagon any day. Since I’ve been drinking for 30 years, chances are I will. And, god only knows what’s going to happen when summer hits. (It currently winter here). But I just pray everyone finds that motivation that is so strong that gets them sober and keeps them sober. So many people on SR have years behind their sobriety. They’ve figured it out....and so can we. Ok time’s up...screaming kids...and no vodka shots anymore to numb the stress anymore. Thanks anyone for all the meaningful posts.

Barbs

Welcome back Red.

OMG Nichole...motocross is my husband's only interest out side if work,lol. He did some racing as a kid. Dungy was my guy but Reed was right up there. We try to get your to RedBud every 4 th of July. They put on a great event. My first exposure to motocross was Broome-tioga 1984...great memories!

Dee, I find one of the most difficult things to do is recognize when to ask for help.

xxxNICHOLExxx

So it’s 230am which means new day and that equals day 1 I already know this evening is going to suck but Guess that’s my karma
The word alcoholic is something I’ve never came to terms with.... idk why
But I always thought alcoholic was someone who drank to much but it’s more complex than that obviously drinking uncontrollably, drinking even knowing the out come is bad (health, money, relationship) , withdrawals, cravings, breaking promises, lying, hiding your drinking, missing out what life should be, putting your life and others at risk, not being there for your kids unfortunately I think they suffer the most because they don’t understand The list can go on and on and not one good thing was said but yet I still seem to find my way back to it so finally I truly accept being an alcoholic and understand what comes with it and it’s life long disease but doesn’t mean I have to suffer because there is an amazing thing called recovery sometimes I do my best thinking in the middle of the night

Strawberry18

Day 1.
I really don't know what happened . I just decided to have a beer in the sun. Well 5 large ones .
Guilt hangover anexity shame are all running high
We only have church in our village once a month... I dragged myself in shame there . I took communion and praye for help. I lit to candles today.. My kids asked why... I told them it was for my friends. Whether you believe in God or not that one was for you guys for strenth .
Please tony come back because I'm really struggling right now an your a wonderful person at pushing me !
Nicole lets do this day one together and well done red for day 2

canguy

Nicole, Strawberry, everyone here has totally got your back and will offer every support. Read anywhere here on SR, people often have to try and try again. Its simple, but its also really hard...
But I really believe you can learn to do it.....learn to enjoy living without the endless cycle of high / low all the time.
So you haven't failed, getting back here is taking another step. Any of us can fail at anytime and we are all very vulnerable to it. My own feeling is that the fails don't have to be all shame and remorse. They are steps.
So have another go.....it will work if you work it. That's what they tell us here and we all have to believe it.

All the best everybody, later.

Dee74

Generally I find asking for help with things really hard even now...but at least at SR and with respect to recovery I've learned that anytime anyone posts asking for help to stay sober they'll find response - and no one will judge you for it

If you had a day to go though my 157 thousand posts you'd find I've asked for help at various times here - I'm glad I did.

D